Why must men be brutalized in a divorce?

[Bad_Bad_LB]

It's not just women out to screw men over in a divorce, the Court System is more than happy to oblige!

I can understand a guy who is cheating on his wife taking it in the shorts, I can understand a guy who was beating his wife being abused by the court system, I can even understand the court making sure deadbeats pay child support!

But I paid all the bills, worked hard to provide for my family, am willing to pay my child support, never hit my wife, never had an affair, cleaned, cooked, etc..

Why does the court system seem so willing to let my wife screw me in everyway possible when I never did a thing against her?

I thought the court was supposed to be FAIR, you know the Scales of Justice, impartial, etc.. What a F'n JOKE.

Something needs to be done about the legal system in America, no all men are scumbags and we shouldn't be automatically treated like one because our wives took all our money, then filed.

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

It's not just women out to screw men over in a divorce, the Court System is more than happy to oblige!

I can understand a guy who is cheating on his wife taking it in the shorts, I can understand a guy who was beating his wife being abused by the court system, I can even understand the court making sure deadbeats pay child support!

But I paid all the bills, worked hard to provide for my family, am willing to pay my child support, never hit my wife, never had an affair, cleaned, cooked, etc..

Why does the court system seem so willing to let my wife screw me in everyway possible when I never did a thing against her?

I thought the court was supposed to be FAIR, you know the Scales of Justice, impartial, etc.. What a F'n JOKE.

Something needs to be done about the legal system in America, no all men are scumbags and we shouldn't be automatically treated like one because our wives took all our money, then filed.

BB_LB, sorry to read of your troubles.
I don't understand the law when men like yourself are penalized because the marriage dissolves. In Fla., we are the 'no fault divorce state'.
Personally speaking, I never wanted anything from my ex except for my freedom.

~kym~ freedom means more to me than $

 

[Bad_Bad_LB]

Well she signed the agreement this time before I did, if all goes well it will be entered on the 12th, almost two months after the initial hearing and more than a month later than it should have been.

Then when she calls for my help for some issue in the future, I have three choice words for her.

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

BB_LB, I'm truly sorry for what you're having to go through at this moment in your life. We're close in age and I understand more than you can imagine when it comes to break ups. Been there, done that.
All I can offer you is my sympathy and try to help you see that you'll overcome this and become a better person. Really. Don't concentrate on the negative, and I know how there are times when it seems to be all there is, but believe that there's something greater waiting for you and you'll find it. Honest.
Best wishes for your future bad Leroy.

~kym~ breakups can be transforming too

 

[appleapps]

Bad_Bad_LB, I too am going through a divorce,,,, in New York you have three choices to get a divorce,,,,,,,,,,,,,one, be seperated and living apart for a year,,,,,,,,, two, adultry,,,,,,,,,, three, cruel and inhuman treatment,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, when i went to the lawyers i told him that the first two didnt apply but the third had such a broad range that we should go with that,,,,,,, when i came home and told the ex he wasnt happy about it but said ok just get it over with,,,, a few min later he came back in and said he changed his mind he wanted it to say adultry on his part,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, not that he committed adultry, but he didnt want the other even though i told him that the papers are sealed,,,,,,,, seems to me like his male ego couldnt handle the fact that he was an asshole,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, oh, by the way, i didnt fight for alimony, refused it so we could do this faster, settled on many things that he wanted just to get it over with,,,,,,,, the courts wont even see us there, all is signed and sent in, we are just waiting for the judge to sign it and the clerk to file it,,,,,,,,,, all is over except for him moving his ass out of what will be my house,,,,,,,, and before you think that i got the house and he got screwed, i got the house and half the land, he got the barn and the other half of the land

 

[tonitits]

BB Sorry to hear that you are going through such a bad time. Like Kym said I live in Tx and it, too, is a no-fault state. My divorce was in the early 80's but I was the one that really got screwed. I was the one that worked all the time, sometimes 2 jobs, while he sat on his butt and did nothing. There were times that I went days without eating because we were so broke. He would wait until I was at work and go to relatives houses to eat and then said, well at least I didn't eat in front of you! What an asshole! He cheated on me, put a gun to my head and said that he was going to kill me. And when I tried to get a restraining order against him they practically laughed me out of there. And was told that well if he does something and we see it then you can file a order. My mom said in other word if he comes over and shoots her or kills her then Monday she can file a restraining order? Basically they said yes! I finally got all the proof I needed and even had him put under a permanent injunction order since he threaten to bomb our cars, or plant drugs in them. He was not to come around me, my family or any place of business that we worked in ever!!! But you know what? when he did and I called to have him arrested for breaking the order I was told I had to fork over more money and they would take it to court to see what might could be done! I was physically, mentally and emotionally abused in that situation and not only did I get screwed by him I too got screwed by the Courts. So it is not only the men who get brutalized. And btw, that has had a very long, deep effect on me and any other relationship that I have tried to have since. I hope that you can come out of this with no too many scars. I am sure that you will find love with the right person and all this will be a distant memory. Something that you never totally forget but have learned from so that the next relationship will be worthwhile. Good luck.

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Wow...... Toni; my goes out to you. We can go through some pretty horrendous experiences in our lives as we grow and that sounds as if it has been living hell. My prayers go toto you in dealing with this, giving you healing so that you can shut the door on the pain and walk away a stronger and wiser woman.

~kym~ ((Toni)) holding you in the light.

 

[redrider4u]

sorry toni

........with what you had to experience. He sounds like a real jerk.

My main gripe is $$$. After she moved out, I paid the mortgage, expenses, etc. Yet, she got half the sale proceeds without spending one red cent toward them. This in addition to a ridiculous amount of child support.

*sigh*.........such is life in our screwed up court system.

 

[tonitits]

Wow...... Toni; my goes out to you. We can go through some pretty horrendous experiences in our lives as we grow and that sounds as if it has been living hell. My prayers go toto you in dealing with this, giving you healing so that you can shut the door on the pain and walk away a stronger and wiser woman.

~kym~ ((Toni)) holding you in the light.

thanks. my divorce was a long time ago and I got over it. But it does still affect me being able to open up and allow a good man to come in. I try hard not to totally shut down again. Sometimes it is very hard, but I know that if you close your heart the right man could come along and you will not be ready to accept them into your heart.

 

[tonitits]

Re: sorry toni

........with what you had to experience. He sounds like a real jerk.

My main gripe is $$$. After she moved out, I paid the mortgage, expenses, etc. Yet, she got half the sale proceeds without spending one red cent toward them. This in addition to a ridiculous amount of child support.

*sigh*.........such is life in our screwed up court system.

I hear you redrider. I hear that alot from some of my friends.
Texas is a no alimony state but sometimes the courts still make one of the parties pay for the house, put their spouse through school, etc.. and then divide everything evenly. I never got anything but the bill, bad credit, etc.. I am long over it. And when my son's dad decided to walk I did it all alone too! I don't get any child support. But you know what? I am ok with that. Sure I could use the money. It is very expensive raising a kid alone. But I get to take all the credit for the wonderful person that he is and will be in the future. It has always been him and me against the world. Especially after my mom died.

I hate to see anyone having to go through this and to struggle. Man or woman. And that is not even taking in consideration the kids part in all of this.
'

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Re: Re: sorry toni

<snip>

I hate to see anyone having to go through this and to struggle. Man or woman. And that is not even taking in consideration the kids part in all of this.
'

Toni, please forgive the <snip>, but I wanted to focus on this part of your post.
I feel the same and its my hope one day, the lawyers and judges will move past the greed aspect and do what's best for the children involved.
Yea, and pigs will fly tomorrow, right?

~kym~ waiting for pigs to fly.........