why is our language so weird?

[rambling man]

How come if two airplanes almost collide but miss each other by 100 yards or so is it called a near miss? Seems like they actually missed, why isn't it a near hit?

Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Questions, questions, questions.....

 

[Adoratrice]

Why do people say an alarm will go off when it is really going to come on?

 

[Pokerman]

Why is it slow UP and slow DOWN mean the same thing?

 

[*Lazer*]

Good question! I think the double negatives give a lot of people trouble too, when learning english. I think it is fascinating to listen to the different meanings of words from country to country too.

 

[DriveSouth]

And what the hell is Reverse Discrimination anyway?

 

[Pokerman]

And why do we get IN a car, but ON a plane? I don't want to be ON a plane, too damn windy ON a plane, and not enough oxygen. Plus I cant see the movie, and the damn flight attendants wont bring me any drinks...

 

[Closet Desire]

Yeah...and why...

...would the English go through the trouble to make signs that say:

"Disabled Toilet"

and

"Alarmed Door"

I mean why don't they fix the toilet and calm down the door?

 

[beckbabe]

Why is it, ring, rang, rung, sing, sang, sung, bring, brought?

Hehe, in case some of you always wondered why some people say "brung" *wince*...there's your answer.

Isn't it strange when people expire? It really hurts when I get ticketed too. Tell me this, why can't I get high from a pot hole?

 

[Pokerman]

and why does DO not rhyme with GO? it rhymes with GOO....while DOH rhymes with GO

Daughter does not rhyme with Laughter.....

"I before E, except after C? what a wEIrd socIEty"

 

[rambling man]

and DOH in all it's Simpsonesque glory is an official Engliah word now

 

[OUTSIDER]

This news just in......George Carlin sues Lit's ass off for stealing his material.

 

[Gawd]

George Carlin is one of My better creations. I gave him some of My sense of humor.

Why is English fucked up you ask? Because it amuses the hell out of us up in the Great Beyond. Particularly since its becoming the "global language" now everyone gets to ask that question. And here your scientists came up with the perfect Global language, Esperanta, and only the military uses it.

 

[rambling man]

that whole tower of babel thing was your fault!

 

[Gawd]

You didn't like that joke? I thought it was a pretty good one. Laughed my ass off for a week after I did that.

 

[rambling man]

you know, sometimes I do really believe God created people just to amuse Himself

 

[Pokerman]

Actually, some of that was Carlin, some Gallagher.
Maybe one or two things original too....

 

[Never]

Pokerman:
"Daughter does not rhyme with Laughter....."
Yes, it does.
What accent are you using?

 

[riff]

This is cute

I have enjoyed reading your posts.

Language reflects the mind. We are idiosyncratic.

(rolls a burned match between thumb and forefinger.)

 

[TygerEyez]

Pokerman:
"Daughter does not rhyme with Laughter....."
Yes, it does.
What accent are you using?

*starts to laugh, then realizes she doesn't get it*

Huh?

 

[Ezzy]

This is what happens in...

And what the hell is Reverse Discrimination anyway?

Roads that are one way only.



EZ

 

[beckbabe]

My 7th grade teacher made the shampoo joke back when Carlin was still looking for an agent. Daughter and laughter do not rhyme. Daughter has an awww sound laughter has an ahhh. Now I can't think of a damn thing Carlin didn't cover....chit!