Why is it so hard to find a female Domme??!

[Chunkamunk]

I've been looking around my area and for every Domme I find I find dozens of female subs. It's not fair, I want to serve! I need dicipline, where are all the mistresses out there??!

 

[littleone77]

Not with you obviously.

People, dominants submissives and 'nillas, do not particularly care for those who whine. At least I don't.

I am a bit of a switch and I can promise you, I have no desire to deal with a whiney, complaining sub of any kind.

On that note, I am sure that if you keep looking and look in more than one place you will eventually find someone willing to take you on. For every pot there is a lid...

 

[Chunkamunk]

I am not usually a whiner lol. I wrote with a certain tone for the affect of urgency. But I've searched on Bondage.com, aff, here, etc and I'm not getting much luck. Anywhere I'm missing?

 

[littleone77]

I am not usually a whiner lol. I wrote with a certain tone for the affect of urgency. But I've searched on Bondage.com, aff, here, etc and I'm not getting much luck. Anywhere I'm missing?

Hmmmm. Did you try alt.com or collarme? I don't visit those sites but I know others which have had some success with them. Plus you might try just entering in a search engine male sub looking or something like that and see what pops up.

I realise that you are probably getting fed up and tired with looking. Keep in mind though that the posts you make here and on other sites reflect your personality. If a Domme was looking at you prospectively and saw that post it might make her change her mind.

Luck is only part of the equation. The other part is waiting and being patient. Being open to different possiblities does not hurt either.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[SweetErika]

Respectfully, if your ad in BDSM Personals is any indication of how you've been advertising yourself, I can see why you've been having trouble finding a Domme.

Most of us want a sub who's intelligent, interesting, honest, reliable and committed to more than showing us their bits and doing humiliating things on cam. Male subs who want to get their rocks off (online/via phone, especially) and are all about fulfilling their own fantasies are a dime a dozen, so those who show the above qualities and indicate a strong desire to do what WE want stand out and usually get more consideration. Personally, I skip right over ads that don't show a good amount of thought.

If you post the text of your average ad and what you're looking for here, I'm sure you'll get some pointers on what could make you more attractive to potential Dommes.

 

[twysted73]

I've been looking around my area and for every Domme I find I find dozens of female subs. It's not fair, I want to serve! I need dicipline, where are all the mistresses out there??!

For the same reason it's not hard to find a male sub. The sheer gender dynamics of it place each commodity into it's own supply and demand catagories.

Come to the dark side and be Dom...we have leather jackets and everything.

 

[BiBunny]

Because Dommes get tired of hearing the same old, same old BS all the time, maybe? There are very few male "subs" who will treat a woman like something other than a walking, talking collection of fetishes for him to jack off to. Just sayin'.

 

[WriterDom]

I think you'd be better off talking to vanilla women about what you wanted and finding one that finds the idea attractive. Talk to 100 and maybe one will take you up on it.

 

[TheBlackDahlia]

Because Dommes get tired of hearing the same old, same old BS all the time, maybe? There are very few male "subs" who will treat a woman like something other than a walking, talking collection of fetishes for him to jack off to. Just sayin'.

Too true.

I find, in my case, that most men are either intimidated by that side of me or just use it as a reason for wanting a hook-up.

 

[BiBunny]

Too true.

I find, in my case, that most men are either intimidated by that side of me or just use it as a reason for wanting a hook-up.

Ditto. "Dominant" men tend to be intimidated by me, too. Go figure.

I'm not here to indulge some guy's need to be dressed in women's clothes, or to kiss feet, or to be humiliated, or whatever. I am *gasp* a real person with real thoughts and feelings. Novel idea, huh?

 

[coy_one]

I realise that you are probably getting fed up and tired with looking. Keep in mind though that the posts you make here and on other sites reflect your personality. If a Domme was looking at you prospectively and saw that post it might make her change her mind.

I see it can go as two different ways.

One could be "Yuck. Whiny high maintenance 'so-called' submissive".

Or I could think, "Damn, it sure would be fun to see him really whine as I'm cropping his ass and he has to take it." Ball gag in the mouth to keep from hearing too much noise.

 

[twysted73]

Hmm..

Because Dommes get tired of hearing the same old, same old BS all the time, maybe? There are very few male "subs" who will treat a woman like something other than a walking, talking collection of fetishes for him to jack off to. Just sayin'.

Ya know, I have to admit, Bunny has a point. I was thankfully born with a brain that runs on 60% estrogen, 40% testosterone. Which, thankfully, allows me to see things from everyone's point of view. And I have to say not many of my fellow brothers have evolved much beyond a Trojan commercial.

Gain insight. Educate yourself and be knowladgeable about this lifestyle. (spelling doesn't count...shh) Learn from this site, from books dependable and helpful. Find a submissive and/or a dom online and ask them if they would mind giving you pointers and suggestions. So when you do write that header, that body and that list of likes and dislikes, a Domme would be happy to take you.

 

[BiBunny]

. And I have to say not many of my fellow brothers have evolved much beyond a Trojan commercial.

*Snort*

 

[Pure]

chunk, i would say it's the same reason you don't find Claudia Schiffer and Angelina Jolie through personals--or even at the local bar. they have no need of it.

further, as some other posters have said, the genuineness of many self styled subs is dubious..... nothing you do shows reason not to question you

 

[SweetErika]

chunk, i would say it's the same reason you don't find Claudia Schiffer and Angelina Jolie through personals--or even at the local bar. they have no need of it.

Is your point that it's difficult to find Dommes through personals because, like famous people, they don't need to use personals?

If so, I think perhaps that's partially true. I could find partners (male or female, vanilla or kinky) in my local community rather easily. However, I choose to use personals because I want a greater selection, it seems quicker and easier to put pertinent info (e.g. I'm married, poly, bi, my likes/dislikes) out there from the start and I think it's possible to get better preliminary matches by comparing detailed profiles. I may not need personals, but I do find they make meeting people I have things in common with a bit easier in many respects.

 

[Pure]

good points, sweet,

certainly personals can general a variety of responses and if you're prepared to wade through the 95%, you will find stuff. some advertisers get so good at it that they only need to read one or two lines of a response.

all this being said, it would not help mr. chunk. his response would likely be weeded by a domme who did make the effort to advertize. (not speaking of him personally, but just citing the odds.)

 

[littleone77]

I see it can go as two different ways.

One could be "Yuck. Whiny high maintenance 'so-called' submissive".

Or I could think, "Damn, it sure would be fun to see him really whine as I'm cropping his ass and he has to take it." Ball gag in the mouth to keep from hearing too much noise.

I'm glad that someone had the same thought I did after reading my post, lol.

*thinking sighs* Gagged with material then taped shut. Heavy cbt. Tied to a wall. Def. with a crop in hand.

That might take care of the whiney. Or not

 

[coy_one]

I'm glad that someone had the same thought I did after reading my post, lol.

*thinking sighs* Gagged with material then taped shut. Heavy cbt. Tied to a wall. Def. with a crop in hand.

That might take care of the whiney. Or not

Exactly.

 

[Pure]

i doubt the line of thought proposed by littleone or coy one. in any case it would do mr chunk little good.

dommes that want to torture whiners just need to step out on the front porch and whistle.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I've been looking around my area and for every Domme I find I find dozens of female subs. It's not fair, I want to serve! I need dicipline, where are all the mistresses out there??!

My advice is to not PM a submissive woman. You won't find what you're looking for in that direction, doll. ;-D

But good luck in your search.

 

[littleone77]

i doubt the line of thought proposed by littleone or coy one. in any case it would do mr chunk little good.

dommes that want to torture whiners just need to step out on the front porch and whistle.

To be clear I was joking. I'd like to have more credit given to me than that. I assumed it would be obvious that was what was going on. If I had wanted what you deem a whiner I would have found one a long time ago. Men are not the same as mice. Also, I am not nor do I claim to be, a true Domme.

Sorry but I hate it when people label me on a joke.

And what was described in that line of thought, I doubt would do mr. chuck any good other than getting his socks rocked off.

 

[Pure]

hi little,
jokes and sarcasm are not always evident in this medium.

point taken.

 

[littleone77]

hi little,
jokes and sarcasm are not always evident in this medium.

point taken.

*nods* Thank you.

Seems I have forgotten about the consequences of online communication. Now I'm off to tackle my computer science homework which Lit won't let me put the name in without editing it. Weird.

Btw, Goodluck Chunk.

 

[sexwhiledrving]

Too true.

I find, in my case, that most men are either intimidated by that side of me or just use it as a reason for wanting a hook-up.

I don't find that intimidating at all, but then again, I'm looking for someone like you.