Why is it okay to say there are no good black men around?

[StacyParis]

Jackson County, Iowa, is probably 100% White. But there are a few sprinkles of black families, mostly church people...

Does that count?

 

[Le Jacquelope]

I do not deal in black male bashing, hell, any male of any race can be a nigger to me.

I am a 51 yr old black woman, every man I have ever dated, lived with and married was black.

But my gripe is this, every man I have been with(and I can count them on one hand), I stood behind, helped them get on there feet, took care of them when they were ill, had babies, hell even worked while they went to school to better themselves, and guess what as soon as they got a leg up I was out. Now maybe it's the type of men I attract, I don't know, but I have yet to meet one that stands by his commitment to me, once they have reached their goal.

My only short comings as you put it, is that I cared for, had faith and trust in someone who did not deserve it.


I am now celibate by choice, I date, I have many male friends, but
I do understand how some of the sisters feel, when they have been put through the ringer by many men, not deserving of their love.

Follow me on this, I'm making a point here.


If a man runs into nothing but bad women who never follow through on their commitments and who do them wrong, is it the women's fault or his?

 

[SpeX125]

First of all,what is the definition of 'good'? What makes a 'good',black man?

 

[medjay]

But my gripe is this, every man I have been with(and I can count them on one hand), I stood behind, helped them get on there feet, took care of them when they were ill, had babies, hell even worked while they went to school to better themselves, and guess what as soon as they got a leg up I was out. Now maybe it's the type of men I attract, I don't know, but I have yet to meet one that stands by his commitment to me, once they have reached their goal.

My only short comings as you put it, is that I cared for, had faith and trust in someone who did not deserve it.


I am now celibate by choice, I date, I have many male friends, but
I do understand how some of the sisters feel, when they have been put through the ringer by many men, not deserving of their love.

I don't think you can blame other people when you allow yourself to be used.

 

[Cade Is Here]

try the BET forum they hate white people on that board

 

[Neteru]

I don't think you can blame other people when you allow yourself to be used.

*Looks around, up and down*

Did I lay blame anyone, I believe I stated that maybe it was the type of men I attract. I am not the type of person to carry baggage from one relationship into another, nor am I the type to automatically assume that a man I am currently involved with, is just like the man I was involved with before.

I believe when you love someone, you love them as you would love yourself, you do for them as you would do for yourself, if that's setting me up to be used, then so be it, but I will not become hardhearted and suspicious because of failed relationships.

Does being this way show a deficiency in my character, I think not, and,
Since I have been mature enough to have relationships, I have only been with 4 men, that's 4 men in all of my 51 yrs, now I may not be as experienced as some of you when it comes to relationships, but I do know that you can't and should not, blame every man for another's problems.

I don't consider these relationships my failure, I consider them yet another learning experience and their loss.

 

[Neteru]

Follow me on this, I'm making a point here.


If a man runs into nothing but bad women who never follow through on their commitments and who do them wrong, is it the women's fault or his?

How can I reply to this.

I do not blame anyone, I don't see it as any one persons fault, I see it as being attracted to a certain type and not recognizing the error before you become vested in the relationship

If you are consistant in picking women who treat you unkindly, then you must take a step back and look at yourself.

What attracts you to these women, are they giving off signals that they are bad women, that you ignore? How far along into the relationship are you before they start to do you wrong.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Oh shit... Neteru... that's from a book called "Vampire Huntress". Or did I say that already?

 

[Killswitch]

But it's not okay to point out to black women that the reason they're saying this, is perhaps due to their own shortcomings?

Is it getting monotonous listening to a brother point this out? Well, it's even more monotonous listening to all the black male bashing that goes on out there, from their own race.

I have an interesting thread I started that of course.....goit no replies. Ill bump it.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

I have an interesting thread I started that of course.....goit no replies. Ill bump it.

You could at least link it in case it sank.

 

[RoryN_]

Very good post.

 

[Cock_Breath]

Very good post.

you are a racist?