I'm still new to the whole D/s relationship, but I like to explore and push my own limits, having a sub who's limits are slightly higher then mine seems like a good way to be creative and grow in order to push hers instead of waiting to push hers to meet mine.
Why i don't like nice guys
- Thread starter ataxia.girl
- Start date
I'm still new to the whole D/s relationship, but I like to explore and push my own limits, having a sub who's limits are slightly higher then mine seems like a good way to be creative and grow in order to push hers instead of waiting to push hers to meet mine.
shellyalison37
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raises hand
have a shitty ass day, and never let go of what you are familiar with.
kisses shelly
have a shitty ass day, and never let go of what you are familiar with.
kisses shelly
Adakgirl
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I am like you, but not for the same reasons. I am not attracted to nice guys. I like nice guys, but just as friends. I find that if I am treated TO nicely, respected TO much, put up on a pedestal, complemented constantly, overly adored, I can't maintain respect for the guy and I quickly lose interest.
nh23
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You may look at that differently someday. I know I do.
Or...maybe not. I'm like that, have always been like that. And oddly enough to some, I'm very happy like that.
bethpage
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When guys do the above, I lose interest because I don't feel that they really see *me*. I don't know who they see, maybe who they want me to be, but it's not really me. And I start pushing, trying to make them see their wrong, and to get some sort of reaction, to establish some boundaries. When they just roll with it, I end up being out of there.
I need someone who will stand up to me, who has an edge for me to strike against. Once I know they're strong enough then I can relax.
Corylea
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I don't think it's either-or.
I love nice guys. I like guys who are so nice that they qualify for the adjective "sweet." I just want the really, really nice guy to enjoy hurting me physically or to enjoy scaring me. I've met some, so I know they exist -- niceness and darkness CAN co-exist. They do in me, after all.
I love nice guys. I like guys who are so nice that they qualify for the adjective "sweet." I just want the really, really nice guy to enjoy hurting me physically or to enjoy scaring me. I've met some, so I know they exist -- niceness and darkness CAN co-exist. They do in me, after all.
It's not that subs are assumed to have more limits. Same as you talk about `nice guys` not having the darkness you need but unsatisfactorily trying to act it anyway for you, there's plenty of cases when subs lack enough darkness, but try to fake it for their dom's happiness - usually with unsatisfying results.
FurryFury
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Dreamliner
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Nice...sheep in wolves clothes?
Hi ataxia girl
I wonder if you need to be careful with assumptions regarding a "nice" man. For various reasons a person may have a public and private personna. Even in private there may be a seaparation between living and their exploration of sexual matters.
Just because a person is nice..does not neccesarily imply they are not into the D/s relationships. Far from it. I have close frineds that are in D/s relationships, previously I have as well. Yet, on first meeting, you would consider these people upstanding pillars of the community.
However, in the home and especially in sexual play...the gradient is more than obvious. In general living.....it is the subtle words and actions that display this relationship, it is not necessary, in fact far from it, for there to be a physical disciplinary side on display all the time.
For me, the true demonstration of a loving D/s relationship is the subtle use of your brain. It is the power to have someone do what you want and have them desire to do it for you unquestioningly through words alone....that shows true commitment.
When you want to do what a person asks......with out fail...when you feel your sexual desire heightened to a high level..that wanting...that need...purely through the use of words......
..you are hooked.
The other issue is..there is no "standard rule book". Often the D/s relationship is situational dependent. Sometime a person may be nice...it does not imply they cannot be an appropriate Dom/Domme, just because they do not happen to be "bad".
In developing a new relationship, listneing is a great asset. Listen to how a person says words, not just what they say and in what context the words are being said.
Hi ataxia girl
I wonder if you need to be careful with assumptions regarding a "nice" man. For various reasons a person may have a public and private personna. Even in private there may be a seaparation between living and their exploration of sexual matters.
Just because a person is nice..does not neccesarily imply they are not into the D/s relationships. Far from it. I have close frineds that are in D/s relationships, previously I have as well. Yet, on first meeting, you would consider these people upstanding pillars of the community.
However, in the home and especially in sexual play...the gradient is more than obvious. In general living.....it is the subtle words and actions that display this relationship, it is not necessary, in fact far from it, for there to be a physical disciplinary side on display all the time.
For me, the true demonstration of a loving D/s relationship is the subtle use of your brain. It is the power to have someone do what you want and have them desire to do it for you unquestioningly through words alone....that shows true commitment.
When you want to do what a person asks......with out fail...when you feel your sexual desire heightened to a high level..that wanting...that need...purely through the use of words......
..you are hooked.
The other issue is..there is no "standard rule book". Often the D/s relationship is situational dependent. Sometime a person may be nice...it does not imply they cannot be an appropriate Dom/Domme, just because they do not happen to be "bad".
In developing a new relationship, listneing is a great asset. Listen to how a person says words, not just what they say and in what context the words are being said.
Last edited:
ataxia.girl
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You may look at that differently someday. I know I do.
i do and i don't. i still need my edge but i have been made to be intimately familiar with a man who loves purely and has no problem doing very terrible and scary things just cuz he likes it. i may have met more than one actually. Seems they are rare but not nonexistent after all.
FurryFury
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FurryFury
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To my way of thinking a not nice guy is just an asshole who will treat you like crap. It's not sexy to me to be treated that way.
But a nice guy may well be kinky and treat you well including BDSM activities.
I have no interest in "bad" boys, none.
But a nice guy may well be kinky and treat you well including BDSM activities.
I have no interest in "bad" boys, none.
Ataxiagirl, thank you for this thread. I am one of those nice guys you're talking about, and I've yet to see a better explanation of why it isn't getting me anywhere. You're absolutely right, I would treat any pretty girl the same way, and I can see how that's not flattering. Also, the following really resonates with my own fucked-upedness:
I don't think I'm a sub or maso, and I don't have any desire for humiliation play, but I do resonate with the idea of thinking oneself unworthy of love, and suspecting that if someone did profess to love me, I'd have to "test" that love by doing my best to drive them off. Which is a scary thought.
I don't think I'm a sub or maso, and I don't have any desire for humiliation play, but I do resonate with the idea of thinking oneself unworthy of love, and suspecting that if someone did profess to love me, I'd have to "test" that love by doing my best to drive them off. Which is a scary thought.
ataxia.girl
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Has been one year now with my Daddy who is a very nice man
Bi_sensual
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To my way of thinking a not nice guy is just an asshole who will treat you like crap. It's not sexy to me to be treated that way.
But a nice guy may well be kinky and treat you well including BDSM activities.
I have no interest in "bad" boys, none.
wise words indeed
Puman
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To my way of thinking a not nice guy is just an asshole who will treat you like crap. It's not sexy to me to be treated that way.
But a nice guy may well be kinky and treat you well including BDSM activities.
I have no interest in "bad" boys, none.
Well put.
I married a "nice guy". A very nice guy who shocks the shit out of me sometmes.
ataxia.girl
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Has been one year now with my Daddy who is a very nice man
i only bumped the thread to brag about my wonderful Daddy actually and say that i have grown very much from this thinking. It just kinda happened all by itself... well with his help of course.
D
Daddy2mylilgirl
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Has been one year now with my Daddy who is a very nice man
A VERY long overdue congrats.
ataxia.girl
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BiBunny
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