Why I despise subs

[Pixie Mischief]

My pleasure..I hope that you will see past the mist of your pain and into the value of all types of personalities. Thank god W/we are all so diverse..or the world would indeed be a boring place!
~~smile~~

very true would be very boring AND lonely.
Variety is the spice of life

 

[cocktail42]

aww I get a rose??

Don't forget the kiss on each side - I didn't realize how phalic I was getting.

By the way, the PM stuff is supposed to be PM and really has fairly little to do with this discussion, at least in my ignorant opinion.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Don't forget the kiss on each side - I didn't realize how phalic I was getting.

By the way, the PM stuff is supposed to be PM and really has fairly little to do with this discussion, at least in my ignorant opinion.

I didnt post anything you said either

and thank you for the rose and kisses

 

[Bidin~Time]

*goddess*emi*: There is more then what is on the board. was talking to him in PM land.

Then I apologize for misunderstanding your posts PixieM.

 

[cocktail42]

My pleasure..I hope that you will see past the mist of your pain and into the value of all types of personalities. Thank god W/we are all so diverse..or the world would indeed be a boring place!
~~smile~~

I fully agree - yes, I think you particularly and of course the lovely *emi* have helped tremendously. Thank you all - I stopped being verklemt and may GOd or any higher concept bless us one and all, especially subs (sorry, couldn't help it - things got too serious in here).

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Then I apologize for misunderstanding your posts PixieM.

Tis ok. No problem. thank you

 

[Lancecastor]

I fully agree - yes, I think you particularly and of course the lovely *emi* have helped tremendously. Thank you all - I stopped being verklemt and may GOd or any higher concept bless us one and all, especially subs (sorry, couldn't help it - things got too serious in here).

Oh, I thought you were talking about submarines....nevermind.

 

[His_sugar]

Through a recent serious experience and some not so serious past experiences it has come to my attentions why subs should be wiped off this earth. A sub is someone who wants to be controlled and debased, not loved, not liked, not seen as a human. Anything else is seen as weakness by the sub. Often subs appear to be, and are, intelligent, humane, and emotionally warm people. In fact they are devoid of the ability to love and care because they cannot love or care for themselves.
If you will not dominate and abuse a sub they will turn against you. With more ferocity than any a sadistic master could muster they will try to rip your throat out, humiliate you and dehumanize you because of their lack of satisfaction of being treated in a normal or kind manner. I see them as the Undead in the "Night of the Living Dead."
I am verklemt, discuss amongst yourself.

Not really sure how i missed this thread up until now, but probably best that i did. Sad that someone honestly has the opinion that we are anything close to weak or unable to love, let alone love ourselves.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Oh, I thought you were talking about submarines....nevermind.

thats what I thought when I opened the thread..
made me hungry MMM submarine sandwiches YUM

 

[cocktail42]

Re: Re: Why I despise subs

Not really sure how i missed this thread up until now, but probably best that i did. Sad that someone honestly has the opinion that we are anything close to weak or unable to love, let alone love ourselves.

There is a lot to read here but it was a discussion and as such I changed my mind to a certain degree, I don't know about others. I thought that it was quite productive but what do I know.

 

[cocktail42]

Oh, I thought you were talking about submarines....nevermind.

Do you want the meatball or the Italian sausage? Chips to go with that?

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Do you want the meatball or the Italian sausage? Chips to go with that?

*Drools*
stop it your gonna make me go to bed hungry LOL

 

[cocktail42]

*Drools*
stop it your gonna make me go to bed hungry LOL

Have you been a good little girl or a bad little girl - which is even better.

 

[Gilly Bean]

Wow, this stupid thread is still going?


Let me guess, no we haven't changed his mind, and yes, 1 experiance means he's the Lord coming to Gospel.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Have you been a good little girl or a bad little girl - which is even better.

*pouts* I'm always a good little girl

 

[cocktail42]

Wow, this stupid thread is still going?


Let me guess, no we haven't changed his mind, and yes, 1 experiance means he's the Lord coming to Gospel.

Do you ever read replies? Like I said last night (in private I admit), you got your undies on in too tight a twist but I must say, they look good on you.
Read some of my replies and some of the other people's replies and you may find that there was a flow and interaction of minds.
Meanwhile you want the meatball or sausage sub? Coke?

 

[cocktail42]

*pouts* I'm always a good little girl

Your next Christmas present is covered - something that vibrates?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Cocktail, you state that submissives have no self-respect, and that all of D/s is about debasement and abuse. I refuse to be with any lover, Dom/me or not, unless he/she respects me. Respect in any love/sex situation is the number one priority. And then from that respect grows trust. I am not much into humiliation, and I serve because it makes me satisfied to give of myself. I expect things in return... I expect to be loved and cherished and appreciated, and I serve because I love, cherish and appreciate. In that sense, D/s is like any other relationship. There is the same dialogue between partners about their own lives, there is dialogue about what works in the bedroom or the scene, and there is dialogue about things completely unrelated to D/s.

It's like that excercise where someone stands behind you and you're told to fall back and they'll catch you. You need to have some level of trust that the person will catch you. In BDSM there needs to be a MUCH higher level of trust, because the Dom/me opens him/herself up to mistakes, etc, with such power being placed in his/her hands, and the sub needs to trust that, even if a mistake is made, their Dom/me will know first how to heal it, and second how to correct it.

I am proud to be a switch... it was only recently that I discovered I could switch, but before I discovered it, I wrote the following 'confession'.

I hope it shows you that all submissives are not people with low self-esteem, and who only serve because they feel incomplete.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?threadid=125474&highlight=vixenshe

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Your next Christmas present is covered - something that vibrates?

I already have that..
what if I had been a bad little girl. what then?

 

[Chicklet]

Dispising Subs...

I have no problem with you despising certain people, but when you despise a group of people...isn't that the same as racism or sexism? Go ahead and despise the subs that you had bad experiences with, but don't push us all into the same group and say "I hate you all" - next you'll be lynching us or burning down our homes.

 

[lilminx]

I don't understand why you're taking your one experience with a "sub" and making a generalization that all subs are that way.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I have a question.. why isn't this post in the BDSM board?



maybe afraid of all the powerful responses you might have received?

 

[Gilly Bean]

Do you ever read replies? Like I said last night (in private I admit), you got your undies on in too tight a twist but I must say, they look good on you.
Read some of my replies and some of the other people's replies and you may find that there was a flow and interaction of minds.
Meanwhile you want the meatball or sausage sub? Coke?

I'm sorry, I'm lost... where exactly were you talking about me in private? It wasn't to me, as I don't have any PM's at all. Nice.


Me? I prefer being sub with someone who knows what to do with it. In my marriage, we test around it a bit, but it's not a role my husband is comfortable taking over (the Dom, that is), so I don't force him.

You keep saying you weren't trying to start an argument, but if you TRULY were not trying, the title of this thread would have been passive, not aggressive.

Keep going, you really aren't bothering me, but you still really haven't explained yourself accuretly without making it sound like you know all about it. IE: You state 1 experiance, you state that you are not trying to upset anyone, or start anything, you state that every single sub out there (cause, I'm certain, Bruce Almighty, that you know us all personally) has some sort of want to be humiliated, and put through pain.


You are making generalized statements that target a large group. Saying that all subs like to be demeaned, and have no self respect is like saying all black people like rap music, and shop lift everything they own.

It's just not like that, and your statements are still generalizing.

It doesn't piss me off that you have an oppinion, by the way. What pisses me off, is that you take 1 experiance, and claim to know the entire bunch.

You would have gotten a much better response from the entire thread had you not attacked each and every individule in a D/s relationship.

And yes, by stating what you did bluntly about subs, and more quietly about Dom/me's, you did attack the entire group.

Having an oppinion is one thing, trying to convert people, and calling those who are in a relationship stupid and childish is another.

i'd stick around and chat, but I highly doubt you will ever see the difference between what you did, and stating an opinion.

Here, I'll state one: I think you are a jack ass for the way you talk, and the way you don't try to listen, but would rather to dog the entire D/s community without knowing any of us.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

thats what I was thinking as well.

I have a question.. why isn't this post in the BDSM board?



maybe afraid of all the powerful responses you might have received?

 

[cocktail42]

Cocktail, you state that submissives have no self-respect, and that all of D/s is about debasement and abuse. I refuse to be with any lover, Dom/me or not, unless he/she respects me. Respect in any love/sex situation is the number one priority. And then from that respect grows trust. I am not much into humiliation, and I serve because it makes me satisfied to give of myself. I expect things in return... I expect to be loved and cherished and appreciated, and I serve because I love, cherish and appreciate. In that sense, D/s is like any other relationship. There is the same dialogue between partners about their own lives, there is dialogue about what works in the bedroom or the scene, and there is dialogue about things completely unrelated to D/s.

It's like that excercise where someone stands behind you and you're told to fall back and they'll catch you. You need to have some level of trust that the person will catch you. In BDSM there needs to be a MUCH higher level of trust, because the Dom/me opens him/herself up to mistakes, etc, with such power being placed in his/her hands, and the sub needs to trust that, even if a mistake is made, their Dom/me will know first how to heal it, and second how to correct it.

I am proud to be a switch... it was only recently that I discovered I could switch, but before I discovered it, I wrote the following 'confession'.

I hope it shows you that all submissives are not people with low self-esteem, and who only serve because they feel incomplete.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?threadid=125474&highlight=vixenshe

VIxen I thank you for taking the time and trouble or writing. I read your 'confession' and I understand what you are saying. I understand that you, and many other's who have written, believe they are in control, that they give freely. In the thread I clarified what was supposed to be a starting point: I was not talking about an arrangement between two knowing adults. I was talking about an expectation by one person, not explained to the other. When the expectation by that person is not met (unvoiced as it has been) that person abuses the other.
There was a great deal of discussion if that personality is even a sub. Most who wrote felt I used the wrong terminology - that this is not a D/s situation. That may be - there is certainly no honesty, choice or trust presented.
As for the traditional D/s ('traditional' and 'D/s' who would have thought that they would appear together in the same sentence) I think that is the choice of some people. It is certainly not my choice but I will defend your right to make it to the death.
I am still debating whether a sub in a 'traditional' D/s arrangement truly is making a free choice, is acting out of love and caring and does not feel debased or if possibly they are simply using a compensatory device to reassure themselves that they are 'normal' and 'being loved' and that they still have control. Like I said, I am debating the thought in my mind and I would prefer not to offend those who are in that thoughtful relationship. It doesn't really matter to me, I have no intention of ever knowingly participating in one.
This thread, not clearly spelled out at the beginning and that is why it's a discussion and not just a proclamation, is about a 'sub' like personality (I hope that is not too offensive) clandestinely seeking subjugation reacting in a cruel and debasing way when the unwary partner does not respond appropriately - I don't think this scenario includes a lot of self-love or any kind of love, controls, trust or honesty. I don't think that this scenario is all that rare since I have observed several among my friends and been the partner in a couple.