Why do you write erotica?

[HeyAll]

A long while after I started reading erotic stories, I began thinking, "Ya know.. so & so would make a great story..."

So I started writing stuff that I thought was erotic. It's a thrill knowing that people enjoy my work the same that I've enjoyed other people's work. And it's extremely addicting watching your numbers (views, votes, ect...) grow over time.

I don't know about anybody else, but I think a lot about numbers when I start writing. If I started getting low numbers, I wouldn't write anymore.

And on top of all that, writing keeps my brain sharp. There's a lot of thought, thinking, and English comprehension that goes behind making a story.

 

[MsQuote]

I started writing erotica as a "treat" for my wife.

For years the two of us have enjoyed "story time" when we go to bed. We take turns and every night one of us describes a nasty little scenario while we fool around.

A couple of years back she had a job that had her training out of state every weekend for three months. She kept lamenting that she missed out on her stories.

Of course we would do it over the phone, but one night out of the blue, I was struck by a great idea, but it was a few hours before she was due to call.

in order not to "lose the mood" on the story, I wrote it out. I then ended up going with something else, but when she came home read it to her.

She loved it and I started writing one every weekend for something for her to look forward to.

After awhile she found this site and after reading some of the stories said my stuff was just as good so why not try it?

That is awesome! I'm sure she gets a thrill out of what you write.

Since my lover and I live in different states, it's a neat way for us to connect. Plus, it's a real special thrill for me because he is such a great writer! Everything he writes about me and us is the most incredible gift I can imagine. I'm a very lucky woman.

 

[TinyBeth]

My husband and I have always had a great sex life, but I have had trouble expressing my fantasies to him over the years. He encouraged me to read erotica in hopes of sparking my imagination. I resisted for years, but eventually I found this site and started reading. The great stories were inspiring, but like many I eventually hit that story that wasn't outright bad but was pretty damn mediocre and said "Hey I wonder if I can do better?"
I also was working out some pretty complicated emotions at the time, so I sat down and wrote "His Annual Visit" partly as a way to explore and clear up what I was feeling. I hid it from my husband for a while, but eventually I told him and he read it. Now he's my editor and a good one at that.

 

[MsQuote]

My husband and I have always had a great sex life, but I have had trouble expressing my fantasies to him over the years. He encouraged me to read erotica in hopes of sparking my imagination. I resisted for years, but eventually I found this site and started reading. The great stories were inspiring, but like many I eventually hit that story that wasn't outright bad but was pretty damn mediocre and said "Hey I wonder if I can do better?"
I also was working out some pretty complicated emotions at the time, so I sat down and wrote "His Annual Visit" partly as a way to explore and clear up what I was feeling. I hid it from my husband for a while, but eventually I told him and he read it. Now he's my editor and a good one at that.

I think it's cool that he not only appreciates your writing, but takes an active role as your editor. Lucky you!

 

[SamScribble]

These days, 99 percent of my day job involves writing or editing ‘important’ stuff. Writing erotica is a happy distraction. It lets me put interesting characters into interesting situations – and I don’t have to worry about Section A, Subsection 3, paragraph 9 iii (b) and related appendices, addenda, and footnotes.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I also write for my partners, who enjoy the stories I tell. One is a very long-distance relationship; we haven't been in the same country for over a year, and I don't know when we're going to get together again, so sending her stories is one way that we maintain that connection.

I forgot to add: my long-distance partner Alice recently got involved with another partner Chris who lives closer to her. At first I was feeling a bit insecure about this (I had bad experiences in a previous poly LDR where my then-partner's partner undermined things) and getting to know somebody is hard when you can't meet them in person.

But Alice passed my stories on to Chris, Chris gave me lovely feedback and even picked up an error that had slipped through my process. Turned out to be quite an effective ice-breaker. Not what I'd set out to achieve, but a nice side benefit!

Amusing coincidence: one of the stories is about a woman with blue hair, the other is about a computer geek and a cellist. Chris is a blue-haired computer-geek cellist...

 

[matriarch]

I started by reading other people's on various sites, then I found stories by Colly, and loved them. Emailed her, and after some interesting conversations she persuaded me to have a go at one of my own, which I posted on Lit. Surprise, surprise, it got a very good reception, so I carried on writing. I haven't written anything in a while, been too busy being happily married and working long hours. I will go back to it though, mainly because I actually enjoy the writing process and I have a whole clutch of story ideas sitting on my computer waiting for me to expand on them. Watch this space.

 

[oggbashan]

I started by reading other people's on various sites, then I found stories by Colly, and loved them. Emailed her, and after some interesting conversations she persuaded me to have a go at one of my own, which I posted on Lit. Surprise, surprise, it got a very good reception, so I carried on writing. I haven't written anything in a while, been too busy being happily married and working long hours. I will go back to it though, mainly because I actually enjoy the writing process and I have a whole clutch of story ideas sitting on my computer waiting for me to expand on them. Watch this space.

I'm watching!

It's great to see you posting again.

Best wishes to both of you.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

because it pays.

 

[MSTarot]

I'm your classic example of a repressed childhood exploding at adult hood.

Sex was not discussed when I was young. It did not exist. To this day I have never heard my Mom make any statement that even hints at the fact that there is a thing called sex. I don't blame her or any other that raised me for it . It was the way they were raised as well.

I was a very sex curious person. I wanted to know all about it and got told I was wrong to be curious. Grounded for being curious. Made to feel ashamed.

I would go over to friends houses and I would hear their parents make the occasional joke about 'getting it on'. It felt like a different world.

I was also made to be extremely self-conscious about how I look. To the point I became very shy. I wouldn't talk to people at all till I knew them for months. "He's always so quiet."

Then I met my wife.

I'm now a flirt. I tend to more and more often say whatever crosses my mind. All women are beautiful and if you're in my presence I have a tendency to let you know it.

And I'm writing erotica. It helps to chase away the dusty echos from that past.

Shrug.

M.S.Tarot

 

[sun_sea_sky]

Good on you, MSTarot.

I am probably like a lot of children my age who thought that their parents must have had sex the number of times they had siblings. (ie. if you had one brother they had sex two times: one for you, one for him).

The whole notion that it might be fun was never, ever discussed. And then when you found it was, you thought your parents must be complete ignoramuses.

Of course, they weren't, you were just kept in the dark. And all this "stay a virgin" stuff does exactly that. I have yet to attend a sex education class (for my kids) where they mention that sex is fun. The closest they get is rambling on about love. Ah well. Maybe in 100 years.

Don't get me wrong, sex and love is great. It's fantastic.

 

[sirhugs]

because I like to read it, wanted to "give back", and had something to say... my first series existed as fantasy in my brain for months before I submitted. I found submitting made them easy to live with.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

because I like to read it, wanted to "give back", and had something to say... my first series existed as fantasy in my brain for months before I submitted. I found submitting made them easy to live with.

You sound like an immigrant who made good in America and feels generous. How sweet is that!

 

[lovecraft68]

Every Saturday for years now my wife and I role play. We take turns picking the premise and sometimes for fun one night during the week play out the characters as a bit of a Prelude.

Some are pretty simple some complex, but anyone of them could easily be written into a story.

Home is Where The Heart is, Under The Mistle-Toe, Breaking of Allison and Mark and Megan from Siblings with Benefits all stemmed from some of those nights

 

[Vixen96]

I typically write m/m erotica (although I am female) and I have read a lot of academia and pseudo-academia around the drivers behind women writing m/m erotica, which can link into theories around objectification of women in porn and so on.

One of the key reasons I started writing erotica was actually due to audience. I got an audience for my writing far more quickly than I would if I was writing some of the other stuff which I do in my spare time. To produce well written smut which is hot, and also making people care about your characters in a few thousand words is very difficult imho. Sometimes I really like the power and suggestion of things left unsaid, for that reason, as opposed to a detailed narration of character physique, backstory and so on. Immediate feedback is great for any writer and crafting short stories in any genre is good practice.

Great thread! Food for thought indeed.

 

[MsQuote]

I'm your classic example of a repressed childhood exploding at adult hood.

Sex was not discussed when I was young. It did not exist. To this day I have never heard my Mom make any statement that even hints at the fact that there is a thing called sex. I don't blame her or any other that raised me for it . It was the way they were raised as well.

I was a very sex curious person. I wanted to know all about it and got told I was wrong to be curious. Grounded for being curious. Made to feel ashamed.

I would go over to friends houses and I would hear their parents make the occasional joke about 'getting it on'. It felt like a different world.

I was also made to be extremely self-conscious about how I look. To the point I became very shy. I wouldn't talk to people at all till I knew them for months. "He's always so quiet."

Then I met my wife.

I'm now a flirt. I tend to more and more often say whatever crosses my mind. All women are beautiful and if you're in my presence I have a tendency to let you know it.

And I'm writing erotica. It helps to chase away the dusty echos from that past.

Shrug.

M.S.Tarot

Wow. It sounds as if we come from the same family although I'm quite sure you are not my brother. He doesn't act like you at all.

I married a man who came from even more of a sexually-repressed family, so when my sexual awareness came into full bloom in my early 30's, my ex said something about me "needing to go into therapy." When I met my current lover at about that time (we reunited earlier this year), I was a little self-conscious about my abilities in the bedroom. Luckily, he's a very skilled and patient lover and I picked up on things quickly and we're both pretty imaginative and open with each other.

I had to laugh. Back in the spring, I had written an article/review of the Fifty Shades series. My parents follow what I write professionally and rarely comment on my work until my mother saw the Fifty Shades article. She called me and asked what it was all about. She knew; she saw a some stories about it on 20/20 the night before. Her questions weren't about any kind of curiosity about the book, but more about her embarrassment that I read the books and wrote about them. If they knew I wrote erotica, they'd be mortified.

One of the downsides about writing erotica is that I'm not public about it in my everyday life. I think some of my friends would love it, but sex is something we don't talk about in depth.

 

[sirhugs]

You sound like an immigrant who made good in America and feels generous. How sweet is that!

my family bible goes back to Baltimore in 1760...

 

[lovecraft68]

Wow. It sounds as if we come from the same family although I'm quite sure you are not my brother. He doesn't act like you at all.

I married a man who came from even more of a sexually-repressed family, so when my sexual awareness came into full bloom in my early 30's, my ex said something about me "needing to go into therapy." When I met my current lover at about that time (we reunited earlier this year), I was a little self-conscious about my abilities in the bedroom. Luckily, he's a very skilled and patient lover and I picked up on things quickly and we're both pretty imaginative and open with each other.

I had to laugh. Back in the spring, I had written an article/review of the Fifty Shades series. My parents follow what I write professionally and rarely comment on my work until my mother saw the Fifty Shades article. She called me and asked what it was all about. She knew; she saw a some stories about it on 20/20 the night before. Her questions weren't about any kind of curiosity about the book, but more about her embarrassment that I read the books and wrote about them. If they knew I wrote erotica, they'd be mortified.

One of the downsides about writing erotica is that I'm not public about it in my everyday life. I think some of my friends would love it, but sex is something we don't talk about in depth.

Fortunately for you Shades is as erotic and exciting a trip to Sunday school so your mother probably still has no idea of what erotica really contains.

 

[MsQuote]

Fortunately for you Shades is as erotic and exciting a trip to Sunday school so your mother probably still has no idea of what erotica really contains.

I'd be disowned if she knew what I write, and it's not as if my stuff is what could be considered edgy or dark.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'd be disowned if she knew what I write, and it's not as if my stuff is what could be considered edgy or dark.

I was raised by foster parents and I wouldn't say they were very conservative.

They were always very affectionate in front of me and my foster sister (also not their real child they could not have kids) and would make a few little "Listen if we go to bed early, you might not want to come knocking on the door" comments. So it was "out there"


They had "the talk" with both of us and in in both cases it was "Look you;re young you're good looking we know you;re going to and that's okay, but when you do...."

It then went into not only safe sex, but they did try to instill the point it should "mean" something.

Having said that, there is a far cry between what they perceive as sex and what I write. Between my incest work and my very dark and hardcore BDSM stories neither would fly well.

My sister knows what I write(seeing she seduced me at a young age she knows damn well she inspired my incest kink) but my parents know nothing of it.

 

[MsQuote]

I was raised by foster parents and I wouldn't say they were very conservative.

They were always very affectionate in front of me and my foster sister (also not their real child they could not have kids) and would make a few little "Listen if we go to bed early, you might not want to come knocking on the door" comments. So it was "out there"


They had "the talk" with both of us and in in both cases it was "Look you;re young you're good looking we know you;re going to and that's okay, but when you do...."

It then went into not only safe sex, but they did try to instill the point it should "mean" something.

Having said that, there is a far cry between what they perceive as sex and what I write. Between my incest work and my very dark and hardcore BDSM stories neither would fly well.

My sister knows what I write(seeing she seduced me at a young age she knows damn well she inspired my incest kink) but my parents know nothing of it.

My mother gave me "the talk" before I went to my first "sex ed" class in the fourth grade. She basically went over the female reproduction system, hurried over the male reproductive system, and just said "sex is for married people only." That was it until the day after I got married. Then it was an embarrassing barrage of "Did you do it?" from her and my sister. I didn't say anything it was none of their damn business.

I got better talks from my best friend's mother, who was genuinely concerned about sexual responsibility, especially since herpes was the big scare in the early '80's. She insisted my best friend and I read a series of stories that ran in an issue of Time.

I had several talks about sex with my boys over the years when they were teenagers. Not those awkward lectures, but conversations about the responsibility of sex, especially when it came to making responsible decisions, being emotionally responsible with girls/women, and waiting until they were old enough to deal with "mistakes." It helped that they were two-way conversations and me not lecturing them.

 

[MsQuote]

Fortunately for you Shades is as erotic and exciting a trip to Sunday school so your mother probably still has no idea of what erotica really contains.

True, but I have to give it some kudos for opening up women to talk about sex, desiring sex, and wanting something other than the missionary position. As society as a whole, I think most people, especially women, are pretty naive, not very adventurous, and have a lot of hangups about sex.

 

[lovecraft68]

True, but I have to give it some kudos for opening up women to talk about sex, desiring sex, and wanting something other than the missionary position. As society as a whole, I think most people, especially women, are pretty naive, not very adventurous, and have a lot of hangups about sex.

WE know different women.

I've been through this with know it all Omega several times.

Yes the book has made it a bit more public, but for years now women's sexuality has been on the rise and more open. Mostly due to the anonymity of the net. Adam and eve sells a ton of toys as do amazon and other sites.

All toys sold pre-shades, believe it or not women knew what butt plugs and vibes were before this hack piece of fluff.

Sites like Viv Thomas and female directed porn have women watching porn more than ever and sites like the one we are posting on right now have women reading erotica more than ever.

Whether the book is good or bad is subject to opinion, but this thing is no more significant than any other flash in the pan trendy piece.

Or at least I hope so, because if anything what it will influence is women to seek out viscous abusive men.

Go to the BDSM forums this book is nothing short of vilified as its not BDSM its abuse. Ana is no sub, but a victim of domestic violence. Gray is no master, but an arrogant abusive spineless coward who uses being slapped around as a kid as an excuse to hurt women.

Yes, lets hope this thing is not as influential as you think.

 

[MsQuote]

WE know different women.

I've been through this with know it all Omega several times.

Yes the book has made it a bit more public, but for years now women's sexuality has been on the rise and more open. Mostly due to the anonymity of the net. Adam and eve sells a ton of toys as do amazon and other sites.

All toys sold pre-shades, believe it or not women knew what butt plugs and vibes were before this hack piece of fluff.

Sites like Viv Thomas and female directed porn have women watching porn more than ever and sites like the one we are posting on right now have women reading erotica more than ever.

Whether the book is good or bad is subject to opinion, but this thing is no more significant than any other flash in the pan trendy piece.

Or at least I hope so, because if anything what it will influence is women to seek out viscous abusive men.

Go to the BDSM forums this book is nothing short of vilified as its not BDSM its abuse. Ana is no sub, but a victim of domestic violence. Gray is no master, but an arrogant abusive spineless coward who uses being slapped around as a kid as an excuse to hurt women.

Yes, lets hope this thing is not as influential as you think.

Sure, more women are watching porn more than ever, and female-/couples-friendly toy shops have been thriving for the better part of the past 20-25 years, although most of the shops around me seem to have the emphasis on "toy."

I wouldn't say that Ana isn't a victim of domestic abuse, but I think it's laughable how she went from a 21-year-old virgin to submissive nymph overnight. And Christian Grey? Oh, please. I might taken his character more seriously if he were British and at least in his late 30's. Plus, I never took his troubled childhood and the affair that he had in his teens as plausible influences on his Dominant tendencies.

In my opinion, there are a ton of men who have no idea what being a Dom is all about. Some of them are pretty scary. They just think it's about slapping the shit out of some woman ... any woman ... and just fuck 'em and leave 'em. They usually aren't too selective about who they try to approach. I've also run into a few female subs who expect to get treated badly, if not abused -- both mentally and physically -- and think enduring that kind of bullshit is some kind of badge of honor. I tend to stay off the BDSM boards because of subs like them, although the Doms and other male kinksters have more realistic, respectful and more sane POV's.

 

[lovecraft68]

Sure, more women are watching porn more than ever, and female-/couples-friendly toy shops have been thriving for the better part of the past 20-25 years, although most of the shops around me seem to have the emphasis on "toy."

I wouldn't say that Ana isn't a victim of domestic abuse, but I think it's laughable how she went from a 21-year-old virgin to submissive nymph overnight. And Christian Grey? Oh, please. I might taken his character more seriously if he were British and at least in his late 30's. Plus, I never took his troubled childhood and the affair that he had in his teens as plausible influences on his Dominant tendencies.

In my opinion, there are a ton of men who have no idea what being a Dom is all about. Some of them are pretty scary. They just think it's about slapping the shit out of some woman ... any woman ... and just fuck 'em and leave 'em. They usually aren't too selective about who they try to approach. I've also run into a few female subs who expect to get treated badly, if not abused -- both mentally and physically -- and think enduring that kind of bullshit is some kind of badge of honor. I tend to stay off the BDSM boards because of subs like them, although the Doms and other male kinksters have more realistic, respectful and more sane POV's.

I agree with a lot of this. True BDSM followers get very upset when you equate mental illness/emotional issues with BDSM.

I agree in some cases, but the lifestyle as you stated is a magnet for abusive people-and abusive women as well. My first Mistress when I was 17 was nothing short of sadistic and cruel which I see now looking back.

Sadly abuse does lead to bdsm on occasions. Think of it, what is a common trait in abused children? they still try to please the abuser. They blame themselves for the problem and try to love the person who hurts them.

Nothing like a D/S relationship huh?

And pain sluts and women who have been abused are moving targets in the community. If they meet a decent master they will be okay, but a poser like "Gray" would be the end of them.

I had a childhood that would make his seem tame and I have NEVER put my hand on a woman with ill intent. Even as a Dom there are things I refrain from like slapping, choking any kind of actual assault.

I have noticed as well the Doms seem more safe/sane/consensual over there. I have also noticed female posters that make me afraid for them.

They are the women Shades has a bad effect on, it tells them "hey yes this is okay."

This becomes a case of for the average person the book is laughable as you put it. But for people with long standing issues its nothing short of bad news.

It disturbs me it is glorified as it is.