Why Do You Whip?

[dr_mabeuse]

Doing a kind of general opinion survey, on the emotions and feelings present in both subs and doms when the whip comes out and the whipping starts.

In other words, we know what a kiss means, usually, or a hug, what feelings are being expressed. But what is it that's expressed with a crop or a flogger? What is it you're saying and she's receiving? Can you say?

--Zoot

 

[Netzach]

Precision, desire. Focus to the pinprick scale on his skin.

He's my instrument. His twitch is evidence. He feels me.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Depends on the circumstances but in geneal as a submissive when the cane/flogger/belt comes out it means my surrender, my surrender of my body, my emotions, all of me.

 

[callinectes]

it makes the eggs fluffier.

Oh..you meant..oh never mind.

 

[intothewoods]

For me, it all depends on the intent behind the instrument. It can be nice and loving, or it can be hawt, or cruel or ... anything.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

With me I think my desire threatens me and I strike out in anger and resentment. It communicates the pain of my desire. But it's also to see my effect, to know that I'm felt and command the totality of their attention and regard.

 

[Exogenous]

I was told my being flogged was 80% my pleasure and 20% his pleasure. I don’t necessarily realize it as being controlled by him, from being flogged. I feel exquisite, hot pain and humiliation (because of the fact that I do enjoy the pain so much). Can eliciting that emotion from me be considered control?

He enjoys my reactions, the tears, the cries, the moans, the hot, reddened skin, the purple bruises (which may or may not sexually arouse him, he just likes that he reduces me to feeling humiliated by my need for pain). I feel more vulnerable and open, and that’s the moment of surrender, at which point my focus on him is incredibly sharpened.

I surrender to his control through bondage, by his words, by the touch of his hands and mouth, by various things he commands of me, by his use of me. I suppose I’m still trying to figure it all out, the “hows/whens/whys” of receiving a flogging. I just know that I enjoy it, crave it, need it; it's like being purged and a wonderful release.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Disregarding punishment, which is another thing entirely, for me to spank (paddle, flog, crop, cane, whatever) is to deliver to her something she cannot (in most circumstances, at least) give herself. I bring to her a symphony of smacks and cracks and air-cutting strokes that build up to a crescendo of endorphin-producing impacts or other sensations that transcend the pain and reach into her psyche, her need and desire for that sensation to reverberate through her body, her mind and her soul.

Oftentimes when spanking (generic), one hand spanks while the other gently caresses her back and shoulders with a furry mitten, sending seemingly-conflicting signals that somehow cross and meld in her mind into the affection that I feel for her. When she reaches the point at which her mind floats free and only her flesh responds, no matter what stimulus is applied, then I have enabled her to reach that space that she cannot reach alone, and she knows that in some way, for at least those moments, we love.

 

[subkitty72]

Disregarding punishment, which is another thing entirely, for me to spank (paddle, flog, crop, cane, whatever) is to deliver to her something she cannot (in most circumstances, at least) give herself. I bring to her a symphony of smacks and cracks and air-cutting strokes that build up to a crescendo of endorphin-producing impacts or other sensations that transcend the pain and reach into her psyche, her need and desire for that sensation to reverberate through her body, her mind and her soul.

Oftentimes when spanking (generic), one hand spanks while the other gently caresses her back and shoulders with a furry mitten, sending seemingly-conflicting signals that somehow cross and meld in her mind into the affection that I feel for her. When she reaches the point at which her mind floats free and only her flesh responds, no matter what stimulus is applied, then I have enabled her to reach that space that she cannot reach alone, and she knows that in some way, for at least those moments, we love.

Good lord, Sir Winston...that's beautiful.

But it cannot be a selfless act, can it? Have her be sated and nothing for the feeder.

What does the adminstrator get out of spanking?

 

[HB1965]

For me receiving a spanking is the sensation. I love the way it feels when it hits. The sting and then having the spanker rub the area after a volley of smacks. It's pretty much the same with a flogger or a cane. I like having the marks from the cane because I can relive the sensation for a while after that. It's also because I'm carrying his mark on my body like it somehow signifies his ownership.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Good lord, Sir Winston...that's beautiful.

But it cannot be a selfless act, can it? Have her be sated and nothing for the feeder.

What does the adminstrator get out of spanking?

Thank you.

It's not at all selfless.

I get a great deal of emotional/psychological pleasure from the tiny, almost-stifled winces at the early stages, from the unconscious almost imperceptible thrusting of hips in the middle stages, from later stage tears (if they come), and especially from the looks in her eyes as she descends from that higher plane back to this poor place. At first, her eyes are almost completely unfocused, wandering around, wondering where she has gotten to, what happened to the wonderful place she was? Slowly, they clear, and the color of the irises almost invariably deepens to its darkest hue as she simultaneously mourns her exit from that place and rejoices in her return to me.

I gain another pleasure simply from the acts I perform on her unresisting -- nay, willing -- body, and it is a performance -- or perhaps performance art? -- whether we are alone, at a play party with a few dozen of our closest acquaintances, or doing a show at a private club for both cognoscenti and the uninitiate. I plan the session ahead of time, both the activities and the particular tools I want to use. (That doesn't mean the others aren't available. A session is, to some degree, ad lib. I might at some point decide from clues available from my partner to switch from paddle A to paddle C, or flogger H to flogger pair R.)

Somewhere, I still have six or eight CDs of music I've made for sessions ranging from 30 to 90 minutes long. Each has a rhythmic pattern that begins rather low-key, builds to a high point, lowers in intensity a little, then ascends to a climax before gently dropping down, down, down during the cooling portion of the session. The spanking (paddling, flogging, cropping, caning, whatever ) closely follows the rhythm of the piece of music playing, with the exception of the cane, which follows one-fourth of the rhythm (usually the climactic portion of the CD, which is somewhat slower but much more intense music than the preceding or succeeding cuts).

Depending on the partner for the scene, I may also gain the benefit of receiving -- or taking -- whatever sexual pleasures I might wish at the moment.

So no, I can't say that it's selfless at all.

 

[Knightenslaves]

My little one gets two types of spankings...ok maybe three.
The punishment for being a bad girl
The punishment to remember who you are
And the...I like your ass so I am going to play with you spanking

The third one is obvious but the first two is a communication and a dance of the flesh to the mind and the soul.
The first time I punished her she cried and asked if I was angry with her, I told her no, that was when I fell in love with you because it said to Me..."I need you my Master, I need you to make me whole, to care for me, to adore me, to watch over me" and I knew I had to listen to that silent voice...I wanted to hear it forever.

 

[Xelebes]

It tickles, obviously.

 

[catalina_francisco]

For us? An expression of deep love both ways, my submission, his control...satiation, pleasure beyond anything else (especially with a bullwhip or heavy flogging), pleasure, surrendering ourselves to our individual and shared desires, freedom.

Catalina

 

[JMohegan]

Doing a kind of general opinion survey, on the emotions and feelings present in both subs and doms when the whip comes out and the whipping starts.

In other words, we know what a kiss means, usually, or a hug, what feelings are being expressed. But what is it that's expressed with a crop or a flogger? What is it you're saying and she's receiving? Can you say?

--Zoot

For me, it's fantastic foreplay. It lengthens the period of arousal, and makes the arousal itself more intense. The sense of power is incredibly erotic.

I get off on her reactions - her fear, her pain, her pleasure, her confusion, her obedience, her determination, her resignation, etc. The visual and audio feedback can be astounding.

Of course, there are other ways to achieve these reactions, and alternative means of enhancing arousal as well. Some satisfy my inner romantic guy, my inner playful guy, etc., and I genuinely enjoy those, too.

But my inner athlete appreciates both the energy and skill required in order for impact play to be effective. Plus, I really do like to swing.

 

[WriterDom]

I don't see a world of difference between flogging and fucking. The reactions of the female element are much the same.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I don't see a world of difference between flogging and fucking. The reactions of the female element are much the same.

Well, I'm serious about this, really trying to understand this, what we're saying with the whip. So you're saying that it pretty much makes no difference to you which you do? Flog or fuck, it's pretty much the same thing? Her reactions are the same? Yours are the same?

See, I'm interested in things like: why is a whipping erotic but a punch in the stomach not erotic? When does a whipping become a beating? Does she sense different emotions in the whipping and respond differently? Or is a whipping a whipping a whipping? Is a crop the same as a flogger or a slapper or a spanking in what it means?

Obviously You don't whip her pussy the same way you whip her ass and you're not trying to achieve the same thing and you don't use the same technique. Whipping her hands doesn't mean the same thing as whipping her ass or whipping her tits. There's a whole vocabulary and it's very complex and you don't hear it discussed much

It made me curious: Just what are we trying to communicate when we get the whip out? I know it's something we can't say any other way, and for me I know there's a kind of male rage associated with it that the whip lets me control. It turns my anger into something we can both use and enjoy.

Reading a lot of BDSM, you see tons of story about what people do. You see very few stories discussing what the people feel while they're doing them. In the stuff I write I'm trying to change that, but all I have to go on are my own feelings, and it's just come to my attention that I'm probably not typical.

 

[Quint]

...........

 

[sexycaz22]

I just received my third spanking last night....and last night, it was more harsh than the other two times.

For me, it is an act of my play partner allowing me to de-stress and to feel the pain/sensations coming through from his flogging and twarses. I loved being over his knees, allowing him to spank me with his bare hand. It was like that I was giving some parts of myself up to him, to allow him to do what he wanted with my bum. And I liked being in NOT control of his spankings. I loved laying there, floating as his hand or flogger hits my bum.

When it comes to him playing with my pussy, the feelings are not the same, at least for me. The flogger and spankings for me are more erotic and an act of his Domination and my submission.

 

[Netzach]

Male rage?

If I'm feeling dick envy I face fuck him with a strapon. Tears are good, gagging's good.

Mileage sure varies.

My fucking-flogging-whipping experiences are pretty night and day.
I don't really feel like whipping is an assertion of will in some way - the people I whip are all pretty "ooo ooo pick me" about it. It's intimate but less like fucking. It's more like - if I was able to watch myself having the best most intimate hottest fuck I've ever had and instead of looking horrible and alien and lame and jiggly to myself on film I was literally reliving all of it, without breaking a sweat.

I think for me it's erotic to get in touch with my own tight control, and erotic to connect with someone over 1. a physical distance that you are literally closing and opening - the space between you and I. 2. doing the primary SM paradigm. Sacher Masoch or some old Errol Flynn chestnut where Our Hero is Whipped.

 

[Homburg]

I don't whip for punishment. I don't associate the pain that I give with negative emotions at all. I don't do that "I'm doing this to make you better" business.

Blindfolded and chained to the rack, she is struggling and twitching, trying to regain her center. The pain has stopped for just a moment. I lean in close, softly brush her hair back, and whisper into her ear, "I need to give this pain to you. I need you to take this - for me."

It is that simple. Pain, given properly, is incredibly pleasurable for her, and I receive immense amounts of emotional satisfaction and pleasure from properly administered pain. It is a matter of trust, power, control, skill, etc. She trusts me enough to offer her submission. I have the power over her to earn her submission. I have enough control over myself to safely accept, and handle, the gift of submission. And I have the skill to not harm her while I enjoy her submission.

What does it say when I take the crop or flogger to her? It says that I understand that sex is not just about fucking. It says that I am willing to use tools to achieve mutual pleasure. t says that I am willing to spend my resources to obtain those tools and the proficiency with them. It says that I am willing to take the extra time needed to produce a scene of some artistry, and not simply get my dick wet until I come. In short, it says that I care about the experience beyond my own orgasm.

 

[Softouch911]

Precision, desire. Focus to the pinprick scale on his skin.

He's my instrument. His twitch is evidence. He feels me.

This is it, the best so far, for me. The whip is as sexual and as dominant as I become -- how I use it depends on a range of things ... someone calls it a "dance." I lead, and the whip "lashes" us together with sensation and endorphins. I live to control and it's never so evident or excitable.

Of course that's romanticized, and speaks of what happens on a "good day," but it's always what I'm trying for.

Great thread idea, Dr. M. Is a whip scene in the next book?
ST

 

[His_pita]

See, I'm interested in things like: why is a whipping erotic but a punch in the stomach not erotic??

I don't know why a whipping is erotic at times and just plain painful at other times. I can come from the crop or writhe in pain and tears from the crop. Depends on my mood and what I'm needing from him, I suppose.

A punch in the stomach is just bad!

When does a whipping become a beating? Does she sense different emotions in the whipping and respond differently? Or is a whipping a whipping a whipping? Is a crop the same as a flogger or a slapper or a spanking in what it means?

I do sense his emotions on occasion. Not always. Sometimes I'm all wrapped up in my emotions and concentrating on breathing and submitting. There is the sensual whipping that is all about sensations and eroticism, and then there is the beating that hurts and releases me from my stress.

Hell, yeah there is a difference in the implements. Pita don't like that wicked hairbrush!! The flogger is yummy, the slapper tells me whose boss, and the crop just makes me wet.

I also think it's too bad that you don't hear more about what people feel when they play. I suppose because its all so individualized and differs from scene to scene?

 

[HB1965]

I lean in close, softly brush her hair back, and whisper into her ear, "I need to give this pain to you. I need you to take this - for me."

This to me says a great deal. I need you to take this pain for me. As a submissive it makes me feel needed to hear something like that. Like I and my submission are the most important thing in the world to him. That what we have means that much to him.

A punch in the stomach is something given in anger to me. Whippings, spankings, and flogging are things given by a master because it's what he needs to do.

 

[Homburg]

This to me says a great deal. I need you to take this pain for me. As a submissive it makes me feel needed to hear something like that. Like I and my submission are the most important thing in the world to him. That what we have means that much to him.

That is the exact reason I say it, and the exact emotions behind it.

At that moment, nothing exists in my world but her and her submission to me, and looming over it is my Need.