Why do we trust others?

[jomar]

The forgivness thread raised a question. If we don't forget, how do we rebuild trust?

 

[R. Richard]

The forgivness thread raised a question. If we don't forget, how do we rebuild trust?

Trust is a fragile structure, built only over time. It is a living growing structure and must be nurtured, at least from time to time. One thoughtless action can destroy the stucture.

 

[elsol]

Guess... what I'm going to say.

 

[jomar]

Guess... what I'm going to say.

No trust. No foregiveness. No feelings?

 

[impressive]

Guess... what I'm going to say.

Ooo! Ooo! Pick me! I know!

 

[CeriseNoire]

Guess we can either forget about the relationship or, if it's worth it, start building again from scratch.

 

[Vermilion]

We trust because somebody earns it and because it's a long and lonely life here on this earth without it.
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[jomar]

We trust because somebody earns it and because it's a long and lonely life here on this earth without it.
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How do they earn it? How do we trust an alcoholic won't drink? How do we trust a partner won't have another affair? Is it faith or based on the other's behavior?

 

[jomar]

Deleted double entry. My wireless connection is off and on. Driving me crazy. I don't trust it. And can't forgive it. It should be ashamed.

 

[sophia jane]

I don't know that I truly trust anyone. I'm too cynical and the few times that I've really trusted someone and, particularly, depended on them, I've been let down. So I kinda just reserve judgment now and trust only a little that way I can't be too disappointed or hurt.

 

[Vermilion]

How do they earn it? How do we trust an alcoholic won't drink? How do we trust a partner won't have another affair? Is it faith or based on the other's behavior?

They earn it by not drinking or by not cheating. It's fairly simple.
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[jomar]

They earn it by not drinking or by not cheating. It's fairly simple.
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How do you know they're not? You have to trust they aren't, right?

 

[elsol]

No trust. No foregiveness. No feelings?

*shrug*

Frustration.

Otherwise, it's like people are talking a whole different language.

Is trust a feeling?

 

[impressive]

Deleted double entry. My wireless connection is off and on. Driving me crazy. I don't trust it. And can't forgive it. It should be ashamed.

. .

 

[elsol]

How do you know they're not? You have to trust they aren't, right?

*teeheehee*

It is a little circular isn't it... my friend just said... that's what makes it so tough to 're-earn'.

 

[Dar~]

By nature I am a very trusting person.. I am an optimist and truly believe that most people are intrinsically(can't spell today) good. I have been hurt in the past and at this juncture I find myself wary, but I still have this blinding hope that mankind will come to what it is capable of and I trust so I too can attain.

 

[jomar]

*shrug*

Frustration.

Otherwise, it's like people are talking a whole different language.

Is trust a feeling?

Nah. But from some of the your other posts I wondered about you and emotions. I looked at your stories and you have a lot of red for someone who doesn't expereince emotion. Maybe you're a great observer.

 

[Dar~]

Deleted double entry. My wireless connection is off and on. Driving me crazy. I don't trust it. And can't forgive it. It should be ashamed.

Yes, but do you want it to be guilty?

 

[lipsofanangel]

By nature I am a very trusting person.. I am an optimist and truly believe that most people are intrinsically(can't spell today) good. I have been hurt in the past and at this juncture I find myself wary, but I still have this blinding hope that mankind will come to what it is capable of and I trust so I too can attain.

I'm with you, Dar. Sometimes I wonder why I still feel that way but yeah, that's pretty much it.

 

[Vermilion]

How do you know they're not? You have to trust they aren't, right?

Sure. And having that trust in them can be a spur for them to stay on the right path. Knowing that ym fiance has given me his heart and his trust to look after makes me want to do anything I can to protect them and him. If he didn;t trust me, then there'd be no need for me to be trust-worthy - I wouldn 't lose anything, I wouldn;t lose his trust, if I drank/cheated... you see?

Are you just playing Devil's Advocate?
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[elfin_odalisque]

I don't know that I truly trust anyone. I'm too cynical and the few times that I've really trusted someone and, particularly, depended on them, I've been let down. So I kinda just reserve judgment now and trust only a little that way I can't be too disappointed or hurt.

SJ, that's so sad. I don't know, I've only ever been tested superficially but, isn't trust about honesty and understanding. It's not about the drinking, the affair or whatever. It's about truth.

It goes down to not hiding the new pair of shoes in the cupboard.

In my relationships, I reckon I can forgive almost anything - except lying. Is that really so wrong?

 

[impressive]

In my relationships, I reckon I can forgive almost anything - except lying.

Ditto.

 

[jomar]

Yes, but do you want it to be guilty?

I want it to reform.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Jomar's comment about the internet made me giggle so hard.

-- I am not a particularly optimistic person- of course i can be at times. Yet, i still find that i may trust a little too much. I trust people rather quickly i guess. I dont know why that is as a pessimist. Perhaps being able to trust others takes the consequence of action away from me? or putting my trust in others ensures that they will be there for me during my particularly pessimistic and down times? I dont know.

I find however, at times questioning how my naive levels of trust are recieved by those i consider worthy of my trust? Maybe im indescriminate- or maybe a better word would be undecided.

How we trust- well i'm easily bought so i dont count, but in general i think it ought to be earnt and reciprocal. Trust is nothing if not recipcrocated- as it shows faith in the other person to never betray that level of trust allotted them.

Why we trust others? because we cant trust ourselves.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I'm a fairly trusting person but I do find it difficult to trust people completely. I've only known one person who I felt I could trust implicitly. It was a feeling and I didn't know him long enough for any let down to occur. I think we trust certain people and believe that if they hurt us, it isn't intentional. I don't think our closest relationships are based on the idea that the other person will never hurt us but rather on the basis that we will forgive those we love.