Why Do We Settle for Less?

[juicylips]

I mean less of everything. Our jobs, our relationships, our sex lives. Our own personal growth.

Are you just settling for what's out there or are you trying to reach for something just beyond what you're currently doing?

JL

 

[Sillyman]

Generally because it's all we think we can get or deserve. I know many people in crappy relationships who are in them because they believe that is the best they can ever do. They aren't happy, but they think the choice is to be eternally lonely or with some fuckwit the rest of their lives.

 

[juicylips]

Generally because it's all we think we can get or deserve. I know many people in crappy relationships who are in them because they believe that is the best they can ever do. They aren't happy, but they think the choice is to be eternally lonely or with some fuckwit the rest of their lives.

Are you speaking from personal experience?

JL

 

[lilminx]

I ncertain cases, settling for the time being is better than having nothing. You look for something better while you're making do with what you have. I know that I usually do that when I'm dating someone or fucking someone (not exclusively) who is not my ideal.

 

[Guest]

 

[Weird Harold]

Generally because it's all we think we can get or deserve. I know many people in crappy relationships who are in them because they believe that is the best they can ever do. They aren't happy, but they think the choice is to be eternally lonely or with some fuckwit the rest of their lives.

Carefull there, Sillyman, you'll ruin your reputation for being silly! I think you made a very wise observation there.

Personally, I made a conscious choice that "more and better" wasn't worth the sweat and stress. I'm happy with what I've got now, and I wasn't nearly as happy before I retired.

 

[Never]

For all the people that settle for less than they should there are people that abandon something good for a 'better' they'll never attain.
I don't know what's worse.
Staying in a bad relationship.
Or leaving a good one because you don't want to work at it.

 

[juicylips]

Morning, Juicy

Sometimes, when you reach for the stars all you end up with is a handful of air.

That's one reason, I guess.

Morning , Foxy, my love.

One time I reached and found you. You don't always end up empty handed.

I miss you.
JL

 

[Lost Cause]

You get what you need......

What you have to have at the present to make it. Right now, my priorities are shelter/food/water/heat/Harley/truck. That is what I require now, to make it. I always look for opportunities to expand the level of my basic needs, and will jump at them without looking back. If I meet a double breasted bed thrasher, it's been so long, I'll knock her walls out!
If you're in a "iffy" situation, weigh it out pros and cons. If the pro wins, go for it no matter the temporary pain of breaking your comfort zone. You'll grow in leaps and bounds, I have!

*You know you're old when your dreams turn to regrets!

*Do you live 365 days a year, or one day, 365 times?

 

[Guest]

 

[juicylips]

<snip>

Personally, I made a conscious choice that "more and better" wasn't worth the sweat and stress. I'm happy with what I've got now, and I wasn't nearly as happy before I retired.

It doesn't sound as if you "settled" for anything, WH. You're correct about "more & better" not equaling happiness.

JL

 

[nzwookie]

The old saying is ** The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence...**

Unless of course you are on the other side of the fence.....

 

[Guest]

 

[nzwookie]

The grass may be greener, but it still needs mowing

Hehehe....Dont look at me...Im not doing it..........My side is fine...

 

[Rambrat]

I mean less of everything. Our jobs, our relationships, our sex lives. Our own personal growth.

Are you just settling for what's out there or are you trying to reach for something just beyond what you're currently doing?

JL

Mostly, because we are taught to fail from an early age. Parents, teachers and other major influences base our abilities on their limitations. We are told that you can't do this or you can't do that. Those closes to us usually lack faith in us. It is rare the individual who looks at an established unattainable goal and says..."why can't I do that? I can do that."

For instance, we believe that we can only make a certain amount of money based on our preceived value. We would easily look away from a job that listed our skill level if the dollar amount seemed too high.

Even with relationships...it's a matter of our preceived value.

 

[SlowHand89]

I mean less of everything. Our jobs, our relationships, our sex lives. Our own personal growth.

Are you just settling for what's out there or are you trying to reach for something just beyond what you're currently doing?

JL

I've settled job-wise becasue it's not all that bad right now. I kind of enjoy it. There are other jobs I think I would enjoy doing more but who knows, grass is greener etc. etc.


In the relationship dept. there has been no settling. Currently a loner. I would rather be alone than settle on someone and since I can't have you, I'll always be alone.



awww, how sweet. i'm such a shmuck.

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

The grass may be greener, but it still needs mowing

LOL. That's a good one.

 

[juicylips]

Re: Re: Why Do We Settle for Less?

In the relationship dept. there has been no settling. Currently a loner. I would rather be alone than settle on someone and since I can't have you, I'll always be alone.



awww, how sweet. i'm such a shmuck.

I adore shmucks. Especially sweet ones.

JL

 

[takingchances42]

I mean less of everything. Our jobs, our relationships, our sex lives. Our own personal growth.

Are you just settling for what's out there or are you trying to reach for something just beyond what you're currently doing?

JL

My, my, you are a deep one this morning, JL... Which is a good thing, I like thinking deep thoughts of you...

I like to try to do both professionally and with day to day life. Try to reach for the stars, and keep reaching. But don't sacrifice my day to day quality of life to do so, try to make sure that there are good and satisfying things I do each day, to savor life and friends...

Romantically, it is the eternal question. Life is short, and no one wants to be alone. But by settling and treating our partner well (being loyal), do we give up our chances for finding true passion?

This question is one argument for the "passionate buddy" scenario. A good friend, someone you care about, who also has sexual needs... Making sure that each of your needs are met on an ongoing basis, in a delightful way, without going through a series of flings with strangers... But with the clear understanding, that if one of you meets someone where there is strong romantic interest, you are free to pursue it... I know of a number of women in my age range (40s) who have said this scenario is the one they really want, unless and until they find their passion, but it can be difficult to reconcile theory and practice, since an agreement doesn't mean romantic feelings won't develop, and be frustrated....

My two cents worth, anyways...

 

[AnnaB]

I mean less of everything. Our jobs, our relationships, our sex lives. Our own personal growth.

Are you just settling for what's out there or are you trying to reach for something just beyond what you're currently doing?

JL

I think for many (myself included) it's a comfort zone that we are afraid to leave. Several years ago I started taking small steps outside of that zone and it's damn scary but if it works you develop a good feeling. Unfortunately some of my steps have slapped me in the face so I am a little more cautious about stepping out of my "comfort zone" too much.

 

[juicylips]

Re: Re: Why Do We Settle for Less?

My, my, you are a deep one this morning, JL... Which is a good thing, I like thinking deep thoughts of you...

<snip>

Romantically, it is the eternal question. Life is short, and no one wants to be alone. But by settling and treating our partner well (being loyal), do we give up our chances for finding true passion?


<snip>
My two cents worth, anyways...

I think you gave more than two cents, lol. But what I edited was the one question I have pondered often over the years. There are no easy answers, are there?

Don't be fooled by this thread. I'm about as deep as a mud puddle.

JL

 

[freeluv765]

I mean less of everything. Our jobs, our relationships, our sex lives. Our own personal growth.

Are you just settling for what's out there or are you trying to reach for something just beyond what you're currently doing?

JL

Juciylips goodmorning,
We generally at that time think we are worth that. Probably if something better comes along it is an added bonus. So maybe at those times we are probably settling for just about that. We fear if we try to reach higher we may fall flat on our face. Better a smaller morsel than choke on a bigger bite.

Freeluv765

 

[binkley]

Because more costs too much.

 

[takingchances42]

Re: Re: Re: Why Do We Settle for Less?

There are no easy answers, are there?

Don't be fooled by this thread. I'm about as deep as a mud puddle.

JL

If the answers were easy, how much fun would that be?

And I like shallow... something about rubbing up against the cervix is very stimulating...

 

[juicylips]

Re: Re: Why Do We Settle for Less?

Juciylips goodmorning,
We generally at that time think we are worth that. Probably if something better comes along it is an added bonus. So maybe at those times we are probably settling for just about that. We fear if we try to reach higher we may fall flat on our face. Better a smaller morsel than choke on a bigger bite.

Freeluv765

Good Morning, f

So it's fear of failure that keeps us tethered? Too often true.

JL