Why do I want to be spanked???

[Snowman5933]

I wanted to see what the How To crew would say about this.

Every now and again I get extremely horny (don't we all), but normal fantasies (blowjobs, threesomes, anal), while great, aren't enough to give me the relief I so desperately need. That's when I normally end up searching for spanking content on the internet. I like the over the knee, hand spanking, but what sends me through the roof is watching someone get paddled. I don't like the cane or strap and will click away if I even see it on the screen. I don't know why but it bothers me alot, but I love the paddle.

Growing up I was a normal child, but I never got spanked at home by my parents (they did not believe in this type of punishment), but I got into trouble at school a few times, which resulted in a very unpleasent trip to the office and being paddled. I remember being paddled in the 5th grade (for not turning in an assignment), in the 6th grade (for blowing spit balls....probably deserved that one), and in the 9th grade (for fighting....I won the fight, or so I thought). My high school was very small (their were about 65 students in my class) and you could here it echo throughout the building whenever someone got paddled. I remember my heart would race and I would get very anxious anytime I would hear the sound. I remember my senior year a bunch of girls from my class went on an overnight trip and got caught drinking (these were all the beautiful, popular types....cheerleaders, so on). I was sitting in the hall by my locker which was in eyesight of the principals office when he began calling about a dozen of the finest girls in my class to his office. They formed a line outside in the hall and I could tell they were extremely nervous. One by one they were called inside and given three licks with the paddle. I can remember the flushed looks on their faces as they exited the office. I must have had a hard-on ten miles long that day.

Ok, present day. I have this deep down wish to be spanked (actually paddled by my SO). I would like to make a paddle for the occasion (are there measurements available anywhere), but here's my question, do I just blurt it out, how do I bring it up. And I don't just want to be paddled....I want some type of scenario to play out. Not just will you spank me....ok bend over. Where do I go from here? Someone help?

Snowman

 

[ShortRange]

I'd say its part discipline ,part anal arousal. On one hand(no pun intended ) if your into anal then its going to be a shock back there, which is going to be sexually stimulating. I doubt its the actual impact on your ass that is physically stimulating, its probably the shock that travels deeper into your body.

As for being disciplined, I wouldn't say that its because you didnt get spanked as a kid and its some perverse desire to have what you didn't get back then. Instead what i think it is , is the fact that if you have someone spanking you, that person is a position of authority.

If you care for someone and you trust them then your going to be able to let them have authority over your body. I think its a way to feel secure, in the relationship and in the world, to test it in a safe way. It might also be a way to show the other person that your willing to give them all the power and trust them to not abuse it by going past certain lines,all while abusing your ass.

I know I love having a girl in charge in bed. In real life it always seems like im the one in charge and have all the burden on me regardless of what im doing. Having a girl taking control in bed is a way to reverse the roles, to relieve myself of the mental stress from the rest of my normal life for a while. When your the one thats always looking out for others, it seems like it a chance to have someone looking out for you, to feel protected in a sense.

At the same time its showing her that i can trust her enough to let her be in charge of things. That I don't have a problem sharing the position of power. I know how to be just as submissive as she can be. its all about trust and the ability to share percieved power in a relationship,even if you try to go for 50/50.

All in all it sounds like a way to have fun because its something you want to do for reasons that probably are positive as opposed to some pain you have within your mind that you want to act out somehow.

I'm sure you can find paddles online, shit what can you NOT find online for sale? I'd suggest looking for one that is light so even if your "SO" doesn't properly gauge how hard hes going to hit you, it wont do much even if he hits hard. probably would want to work up to harder,heavier ones as your SO gets used to the right strength of a swat and you learn how much feels good and whats the point you find to be painful.

As for getting your SO to try it, I would suggest giving your SO a light swat when your joking around. Maybe your SO will do the same thing back and you can make a comment that is both positive and sexual where you can cause it to spiral from there with comments that are heavier on the sex and less on playful to create that mental bridge. But if your SO doesn't catch on you could just say it, even if it doesn't seem liek the way you want it to happen, getting your SO to please you how you want it = priceless and well worth sticking your neck out.

 

[iemtzingu]

Just an idea, but talk to your significant other. Maybe your significant other may want to try some new things as well. Not sure how open you are with your s/o but maybe exchange a list of things you would like to try together.

 

[SweetErika]

I'd tell her just what you told us, and ask her if she'd be willing to try some spanking and/or paddling role play with you (she may not be comfy starting out with paddling, or might want to at least try something intermediate, like kitchen implements [spatulas, wooden spoons, etc.] or a leather paddle).

There are lots of scenarios that could lead to spanking. Which one(s) gets you going the most? Teacher/Headmistress/Principal and student? Mistress and slave? Owner and pet? Drill Sergeant and private? Officer and criminal?

Basically, you want to set it up so there's some kind of authority, misbehavior, and discipline for that misbehavior.

Maybe you could find some stories that feature spanking that turn you on and take ideas from them or share them with her.

There are lots of sites on OTK (over the knee) spanking/paddling and designs for implements online. I even saw a paddle at my local craft store for $5 (though I would have had to cut it down because it was too heavy for a real paddling)! I'd suggest starting with something lighter than a heavy wood paddle, and working your way up. You also want to make sure anything you make or buy is weighted correctly and feels very comfortable in her hand. One of the best things I've used was a very stiff leather paddle with a heart cutout; lightweight, comfortable to use, but it packed a wallop!

In essence, talk to her, do some more research, and see what's likely to work out best for you two. Think about safety, too; I'd suggest reading up on it in the BDSM Library sticky, if you're new to this.

 

[Wyldfire]

I wanted to see what the How To crew would say about this.

Every now and again I get extremely horny (don't we all), but normal fantasies (blowjobs, threesomes, anal), while great, aren't enough to give me the relief I so desperately need. That's when I normally end up searching for spanking content on the internet. I like the over the knee, hand spanking, but what sends me through the roof is watching someone get paddled. I don't like the cane or strap and will click away if I even see it on the screen. I don't know why but it bothers me alot, but I love the paddle.

Growing up I was a normal child, but I never got spanked at home by my parents (they did not believe in this type of punishment), but I got into trouble at school a few times, which resulted in a very unpleasent trip to the office and being paddled. I remember being paddled in the 5th grade (for not turning in an assignment), in the 6th grade (for blowing spit balls....probably deserved that one), and in the 9th grade (for fighting....I won the fight, or so I thought). My high school was very small (their were about 65 students in my class) and you could here it echo throughout the building whenever someone got paddled. I remember my heart would race and I would get very anxious anytime I would hear the sound. I remember my senior year a bunch of girls from my class went on an overnight trip and got caught drinking (these were all the beautiful, popular types....cheerleaders, so on). I was sitting in the hall by my locker which was in eyesight of the principals office when he began calling about a dozen of the finest girls in my class to his office. They formed a line outside in the hall and I could tell they were extremely nervous. One by one they were called inside and given three licks with the paddle. I can remember the flushed looks on their faces as they exited the office. I must have had a hard-on ten miles long that day.

Ok, present day. I have this deep down wish to be spanked (actually paddled by my SO). I would like to make a paddle for the occasion (are there measurements available anywhere), but here's my question, do I just blurt it out, how do I bring it up. And I don't just want to be paddled....I want some type of scenario to play out. Not just will you spank me....ok bend over. Where do I go from here? Someone help?

Snowman

One of the best for that is a cricket bat. Drill a few holes through it and holy hell will you know you've been spanked. Find a well versed domme and ask your SO to learn from what she teaches. You might have to pay the domme but if it's what you want and your lady is willing, you might just get to live out that fantasy. Just don't pick up the first "I'm a domme, I can take you where you need to go type. Shop for her, looking primarily for your SO to hit it off with the domme.

 

[Snowman5933]

I've been reading the responses and you've given me some great information. I can definately see how the trust issue comes into play by letting someone have a position of authority over you. I trust my SO completely and know that she would not go any further than I was comfortable. I'm not interested in starting a dom/sub type relationship, this is just a fantasy that I would like to playout, and after that I may not have anymore interest in it.

I don't care what roles we pretend to be in, though student/teacher sounds pretty interesting. I like the idea of being naughty and then receiving discipline for those actions. I mentioned it to her last night and she was cool about it. She doesn't freak out when I bring up fantasies and she's been willing to try most of them.

I hadn't thought alot about paddles other than knowing that I like to see other people being spanked with them. I guess the size and weight could be a huge factor to consider. I'll try to spend sometime for one online. If you have any suggestions let me know. I don't have much of a budget for this, like I said we may try it and never do it again, so I don't want to spend $30-40.

Thanks again and I'll check back this evening.

 

[Mr.G]

A Cricket Bat ?????

What kind O moron are you? He wants to experiment with getting paddled / spanked NOT having his hips and lower spine shattered.

Have you ever even SEEN/FELT a cricket bat. The suggestion is comparable to suggesting using a baseball bat if he wanted to try getting caned.

DOIHHH!

as for advice ... talk to your SO. Read fantasy stuff together. Who knows maybe she'll be a natural. Worth TRYING at least. If she files for divorce then that was poor advice. Sorry. You may want / need to decide whether you want that just as a sexual type fantasy or a life-style. Lots of couples play around with different degrees of spanking without it ever becoming a DOM/sub relationship so your SO needs to know WHICH way you want to go. Make sure you are ready to go with where she wants to go if she enjoys it and wants it to be routine and severe. You really need to communicate here. Nothing worse than one partner imagining horrible things happening when all YOU wanted was to play around a bit and see if your fantasy and reality could merge in a new and sexually charged scenario.

Can you afford a ping-pong paddle? Improvise. Pass on cricket bats though.

 

[kikmosa]

I hadn't thought alot about paddles other than knowing that I like to see other people being spanked with them. I guess the size and weight could be a huge factor to consider. I'll try to spend sometime for one online. If you have any suggestions let me know. I don't have much of a budget for this, like I said we may try it and never do it again, so I don't want to spend $30-40.

Thanks again and I'll check back this evening.

This might sound stupid and you might already have one by now, but if you just want to try it out, go to the toy department at a large store and look for the paddle and ball toy you get kids to play with. They're light weight and cheap. Then if you really enjoy it go for a better one online. If you don't then just toss it, no big money loss. Or try a ping pong paddle from sporting goods. That's a little heavier but still light and pretty cheap.

 

[HockeyShark]

I know my wife enjoys a good spanking. She enjoys the anticipation of the actual spank, as my hand nears so sometimes when i go to spank I stop just an inch away from her perfect round ass. This causes her muscles to prepare for it, and gets her to tighten and release. she gets SO WET and turned on after a few minutes she is begging to be eaten or fucked.

Good Times....

 

[Moanique]

I know my wife enjoys a good spanking. She enjoys the anticipation of the actual spank, as my hand nears so sometimes when i go to spank I stop just an inch away from her perfect round ass. This causes her muscles to prepare for it, and gets her to tighten and release. she gets SO WET and turned on after a few minutes she is begging to be eaten or fucked.

Good Times....

Now there's something I can totally relate to! My man is a bit shy about spanking but I love it. I find it very, very hot.