Why do I like pain?

[redheadedtxn]

Another lovely afternoon with Master. As I laid my head in his lap, he smiled down on me and said "why do you suppose you like being roughed up so much?"

Honestly I have no idea. Not sure it even matters to be honest. But I wonder...

Why do I like spankings so much? Why do I like my tits slapped to the point of bruising and my hair pulled? Why do I get off so much on being spat on and forced to perform?

Anyone ever figure out why they're wired thata way?

Again, I don't think it really matters, but I'm curious.

 

[cfuhrer]

I have no odea, but damn its fun.

I think for me personally (as is always the case)

I've always been so in control and structured, its nice to let someone else take the reins.

I'm also very sexual and growing up it was impressed upon me as a bad thing. So being roughed up and made to preform is a way that I can be satisfied and do what I enjoy but still be absolved of responsibility for my actions.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I think cfuhrer's reasons are pretty good explanations for my own. Although, honestly, I think it always comes down to "that's just what I like".

I don't believe all things NEED an explanation besides "that's just how it is". Sometimes that is the best explanation, and the rest are just...justifications.

 

[CutieMouse]

The technical answer is that you get an adrenalin and endorphin hit from it - "pain" in a controlled environment simply allows you to experience the adrenalin/endorphin hit without the whole messy "getting eaten by a bear" thing.

Not terribly romantic of me, eh?

 

[cfuhrer]

Although, honestly, I think it always comes down to "that's just what I like" and "that's just how it is".

'Nuff said.

 

[HottieMama]

For me it is very simple. The endorphin rush/high I get from certain types of play directly mimics the high I used to get from drugs. Been clean for 13 years, been into kink in some form or another for a little over 12. One has certainly substituted for the other in my case.

 

[LisbethElliot]

The technical answer is that you get an adrenalin and endorphin hit from it - "pain" in a controlled environment simply allows you to experience the adrenalin/endorphin hit without the whole messy "getting eaten by a bear" thing.

Not terribly romantic of me, eh?

LOL! Maybe not romantic, but it makes sense.

I've been asking myself why I like pain a lot lately...since this is a very recent development for me. But more than asking why I like it, I've been asking, "Why did it take me SOOOOO freaking long to discover this?!"

Awfully glad to have an option that's a lot more fun than getting eaten by a bear.....

 

[bhndblueyes88]

LOL! Maybe not romantic, but it makes sense.

I've been asking myself why I like pain a lot lately...since this is a very recent development for me. But more than asking why I like it, I've been asking, "Why did it take me SOOOOO freaking long to discover this?!"

Awfully glad to have an option that's a lot more fun than getting eaten by a bear.....

It could be lest recent a development than you think, but just never really thought about. Example, I've always been a bruise poker and certain mild dull pains would actually be nice sensations to just wallow in for a bit. There's probably a whole bunch of little things that everyone does that translate into pain=pleasure sensations. As CutieMouse said, people can become pretty good endorphin junkies. I mean, come on...marathon runners? They're not more fitness-motivated...they're just high

 

[cfuhrer]

I mean, come on...marathon runners? They're not more fitness-motivated...they're just high

Oooooohhhhh, so that explains the crazyness, the insanity.

 

[redheadedtxn]

I can see it being the endorphin thing. If I go a while without a scene, I get really desperate and moody, then I get a "fix" and I'm good to go for a while.

 

[jdsgirl]

Nice topic and intelligent responses! For me it feels like a recent development, too, though I have always been one to enjoy picking a scab and tearing at my hangnails. Also I think having the right partner brings it out in the right way. I've been in an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship for 18 years, so the thought of giving him more control over me was downright ludicris - you can't trust someone who's not in control of himself. Now that I have the amazing JD, who I trust completely, a whole new world is opened up. I'm not sure I'd like hardcore pain, but it's been surprising and exciting to find that I crave the sting of his hand slapping my ass.

 

[PrettyProse]

You know, honestly, I don't know. I've been asked this before. It's strange because, besides my sexual interests, I am a very gentle and laid back person. I'm not an extrovert or an introvert. No one's really been able to describe me as anything but "different" (at least what I've heard from close friends and relatives...) Anyway...I'm trying to say that it's surprising to my lovers that I'm into this stuff and they don't expect it. I suppose the adrenalin/endorphin explanation makes sense, though. I'm satisfied with "normal" sexual acts, but everything is so much better when there's a little pain involved. The extra sensations are wonderful.

 

[CandiCame]

For me it is very simple. The endorphin rush/high I get from certain types of play directly mimics the high I used to get from drugs. Been clean for 13 years, been into kink in some form or another for a little over 12. One has certainly substituted for the other in my case.

Yeah- it is very much like a drug; the same kind of numbed-edge glow... Damn, I'm sober and horny.

 

[PhilGarlic]

is there

Is there a difference between being treated rough in the bedroom and out and about.

My wife loves a bit of spanking, hair pulling and name calling to name a few, but if I don't show her the respect she deserves in public I ain't ever going to have the bedroom fun.

 

[HottieMama]

Yeah- it is very much like a drug; the same kind of numbed-edge glow...

"Numbed-edge glow" I really like that description.

 

[CandiCame]

"Numbed-edge glow" I really like that description.

Yeah, those little fuzzy edges around reality- it starts to matter less and less- god I love that feeling.

 

[BiBunny]

I like the way it clears my mind, assuming I'm in the right frame of mind for it to start with.

 

[kimuk]

Have only experianced it mildly with him the last time. Have tried needle play on cam. It sort of shocked me how far I was prepared to go , almost to prove to myself what I could endure. Then I got scared and thought its not for me. I seem to go in peeks and throughs, I find it hard to admit to myself that I like it, that it hits a certain spot. Sort if feel guilty about it. Odd?

But I know I want to take it to the next level with him and now he knows to. I'm nevous but excited at what we have planned. I think i enjoy the fear! odder?

 

[CandiCame]

Have only experianced it mildly with him the last time. Have tried needle play on cam. It sort of shocked me how far I was prepared to go , almost to prove to myself what I could endure. Then I got scared and thought its not for me. I seem to go in peeks and throughs, I find it hard to admit to myself that I like it, that it hits a certain spot. Sort if feel guilty about it. Odd?

But I know I want to take it to the next level with him and now he knows to. I'm nevous but excited at what we have planned. I think i enjoy the fear! odder?

I like the fear to...

 

[Lilac_Sky]

Is there a difference between being treated rough in the bedroom and out and about.

My wife loves a bit of spanking, hair pulling and name calling to name a few, but if I don't show her the respect she deserves in public I ain't ever going to have the bedroom fun.

That completely depends on the people involved and the nature of their relationship.

And I am not entirely sure why, but I bristled at "the respect she deserves." I love pain and love when Mistress hurts me (sometimes in the bedroom, but doesn't have to be). But I feel very respected by her always (as counterintuitive as it might be, even when she is humiliating me, I feel respected).

 

[redheadedtxn]

That completely depends on the people involved and the nature of their relationship.

And I am not entirely sure why, but I bristled at "the respect she deserves." I love pain and love when Mistress hurts me (sometimes in the bedroom, but doesn't have to be). But I feel very respected by her always (as counterintuitive as it might be, even when she is humiliating me, I feel respected).

As do I by Master.

It almost feels like, if he didn't torment and degrade me, I'd feel disrespected...because he'd not give a shit about fulfilling my needs and desires.

 

[quimsical]

In my own simple case, sensuality and pain conmingle in a heady draught. I sometimes wonder whether pain nerves and pleasure nerves have cross-pollinated.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

In my own simple case, sensuality and pain conmingle in a heady draught. I sometimes wonder whether pain nerves and pleasure nerves have cross-pollinated.

I have nothing to add other than 'This nick is awesome'

 

[Licia]

Savage ferocity: love ya 'till it hurts. Love ya through the pain. *shrugs*

Who wouldn't crave someone who could connect the two? Then again, I can't really disconnect the two: love/pain.

How could I explain it better? Eh, I have a difficult time NOT "crushing" someone I love with a hug?

 

[midwestyankee]

The technical answer is that you get an adrenalin and endorphin hit from it - "pain" in a controlled environment simply allows you to experience the adrenalin/endorphin hit without the whole messy "getting eaten by a bear" thing.

Not terribly romantic of me, eh?

I wish I'd seen this earlier. I could have arranged to get a bear for you while I was in Maine last week.