Why did the chicken cross the road?

[SpankMaster Flex]

The proper question is what stupid fuck put the road through a henhouse?

This brings to mind that great debate, what came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The Rooster came first then rolled over and went to sleep.

What is the worst children's joke you've ever heard? Did you ever hear a better punchline when you grew up?

The worst I've heard was:

Why was 6 afraid? Cause 7 8 9. Ha ha.

Revised punchline:

Why was 6 afraid? Cause 7 8 9 and 9 has herpes.

 

[Samuari]

Actualy, the chicken crossed the road to prove to the armadillo that it could be done! You know possum on the half-shell!

 

[CreamyLady]

If I understand this correctly, and I'm not sure that I do, the first egg came from the last not-chicken.

Really, this must have been another thing that was designed to be discussed after about three pints.

 

[Cheri]

Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub taking a bath. One penguin looks over at the other one and says "Hand me that soap on a rope." The other penguin looks at him and says "What do I look like a flashlight?"
I know I know makes no sense, but kids under the age of 5 think it's hysterical....maybe it's the visual of penguins in a bathtub...

Or

What's invisible and smells like carrots..........bunny farts

 

[Bobtoad777]

Why did the chicken cross the road

Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.499999999

The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Sigmund Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

L.A. Police Department: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Saddam Hussein #2: It is the Mother of all Chickens.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed it, I've not been told!

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Mulder: It was a government conspiracy.

Scully: It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Darwin #2: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

The Pope: That is only for God to know.

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

O. J.: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

 

[sallygirl]

What kind of tie does a ghose wear? A BOO tie.

My little cousin Amy like to tell knock-knock jokes. They go something like this:

Amy: knock knock
Me: who's there?
Amy: <looking around the room, her eyes settle on the coffee table> Table!
Me: Table who?
Amy: <looking around again> Table lamp!
And she laughs hysterically. I laugh indulgently a couple of times, but she'll go on and on until I manage to distract her with something else. Kids!

 

[Never]

Who was Snow White's brother?
Egg White, get the yoke?

 

[Silverlily]

OMG, toadie's actually funny.

My six year likes this one.
Where do flowers sleep?
In a flowerbed.

We also get the knock-knock jokes from hell.

 

[Bobtoad777]

kitten eyes i am sadend that you didnt think i was funny till now, i guess i am just going to sleep with you to make up for the hurt feeelings

 

[Adoratrice]

knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
WHO"S THERE?
orange
orange who?
orange you glad I didn't say banana?

I swear I am such a ditz....I was trying to figure out how to spell "arn't" instead of putting "orange" in the last line....now that would have just RUINED the joke now wouldn't it??

 

[Silverlily]

Don't start with me froggie.

 

[Bobtoad777]

oh kitten you know you wnat to experince the bobtoad phenomenon

 

[Silverlily]

Bobert, PAY ATTENTION!

I don't dig amphibians. I don't need a phenomenon, I married one. Really, my sweet virgin, how many times have you given a woman multiple orgasms?

Yes, you're funny and I'll even give you cute, but attempt to pet this kitty and you're going to get hurt.

 

[Bobtoad777]

see theres that denial, oh well kittens loss

 

[Never]

Why did the Kitten cross the road?
To get away from the toad that was after her.

Seriously though, I understand your first instinct is to hop every lady on the board but you need to.. relax a bit.
For instance, playfully flirting back and forth with the board beauties: Good Idea.
Telling a woman she needs to experience your phenomena after she's told you to shove off: Bad Idea.
Making sly references to your penis to a friendly gal: Good Idea.
Suggesting a lesbian suck your dick:.. Not the best of ideas.

Chill hun. Jus' a bit.


Adoratrice, That was soooooo bad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All right, I'll admit it, I'm a hypocrite.

 

[Adoratrice]

but meaningless no????

 

[Never]

Wonderfully so.
One could rattle one's bone box for days trying to discover the hidden socio-political ramifications of fruit and find nothing.

 

[KillerMuffin]

OOoooOO OOOoooOO OOOooO I GOT ONE!!!

How many horses does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, horses don't use lightbulbs.

Okay, that was wildly wildly and industriously stupid. That was so stupid it actively sought it's stupidity.

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

This is my kids favorite joke to tell people....

How do you get your hankie to dance?

Put a little boogie in it!

 

[Flagg]

Dead tarmac

 

[Deborah]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

You'd run like hell too if Flagg, author of the thread "Poultry" about fucking chickens, was chasing you with his dick out and a gleam in his eye.

 

[Gingersnap]

Flagg I heard you abducted the chicken before it could cross the road and tortured it by spearing it's breasts with rosemary sprigs. BTW nice to see you back little bro! I sent you that donut and portable sitz bath did ya get it???

 

[Rosebud]

why did the chicken cross the road? to get the flock outta here

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Isn't that a sheep joke?

Where the hell is Bruiser when you need him?