Why can't ever bisexuals ever fall in love with same sex?

[DarkAurora]

I know there are a few cases where bisexual people fall in love and have serious relationships but more often than not, they just have sexual flings with the same sex and stick with the opposite sex for serious relationships. I do understand a little because I used to tell myself when I was a young teenager that I was just sexually attracted to men because I didn't want to deal with the fact that I was gay. I understand too if you don't want to be labeled as "gay" because you don't want people around you treating you different but it just seems to me that you are lucky to be bisexual and that you are losing out by limiting yourself to only loving the opposite sex.

 

[snowy ciara]

Sometimes we do. Please don't assume we're all flaky because some of are. I know of at least one female who sticks with females, though she sometimes flings with the boys.

 

[Seduce]

Everyone is unique, you cannot categorize people. Some fall in love, some do not, some are bisexual 50%, some are just bi-courious........ important thing is to feel good being yourself whether you spend you entire life in relationships with just one sex or not.
Personaly I never fall in love with women but I am not sure it will not change one day...... I am getting sick of men from time to time.......

 

[SweetErika]

I haven't found a good match in a woman yet, but I'm looking for a serious, loving relationship, and have no doubt I'll have many throughout my life. I've met a lot of bi women who have had, have, or are looking for the same thing, so I think you're incorrect in saying there are only "a few cases."

I'm married to a man because I fell in love with him almost 7 years ago, and could have sworn I was straight. I didn't know I was bi until a year ago, and we had been married for a little over a year at that point. It has nothing to do with avoiding ridicule or denial, and everything to do with who I fell in love with and promised to spend my life with first. It's just the way life worked out, and we're happy with it.

 

[Betticus]

Most people aren't exactly 50/50 when they are bi. They lean to one sex more than the other.

It's normal for a bi to feel more comfortable in a "relationship" with a particular sex.

Example: A bisexual woman may love to have sexual relationships with other women but prefer males for long term romantic relationships.

I've only known one person so far that is close to 50/50.

 

[Raimondin]

I know there are a few cases where bisexual people fall in love and have serious relationships but more often than not, they just have sexual flings with the same sex and stick with the opposite sex for serious relationships. I do understand a little because I used to tell myself when I was a young teenager that I was just sexually attracted to men because I didn't want to deal with the fact that I was gay. I understand too if you don't want to be labeled as "gay" because you don't want people around you treating you different but it just seems to me that you are lucky to be bisexual and that you are losing out by limiting yourself to only loving the opposite sex.

No. I don't think it's missing out on anything because one is not bisexual. You're missing out when you're not getting what you want. There's a difference. Personally, myself I don't give a fuck what people think of me because I'm gay. I'm a gay man and that's who I am, have been since day one. If people can't accept that then see ya! I don't need them. You have to accept and be proud of who you are if you are to be a happy person. If they want to "label" me gay, well then great! Because that's who I am.
Interestinly enough, I've found that most people find it strange and perplexing, not so much because I'm a gay man, but more because I've have never desired to be with a woman. I'm not bisexual. They just don't get it. I will say though, that some of the most painful relationships I've had in my life have been with a bisexual man. Because of the fact that sooner or later, he's going to get that "urge" or "need" to have to have his "fling" with someone of the opposite sex. Problems. Now I'm speaking here for myself, because in my case I'm more of a monogamous person. I would take these flings as cheating or betrayal.
That's why I don't think a gay person and a bisexual person could have a serious monogamous relationship together. Sorry if I got a little off course here, but I do understand your statement that more often than, bisexuals will end up sticking with the opposite sex for a serious relationship.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I know there are a few cases where bisexual people fall in love and have serious relationships but more often than not, they just have sexual flings with the same sex and stick with the opposite sex for serious relationships. I do understand a little because I used to tell myself when I was a young teenager that I was just sexually attracted to men because I didn't want to deal with the fact that I was gay. I understand too if you don't want to be labeled as "gay" because you don't want people around you treating you different but it just seems to me that you are lucky to be bisexual and that you are losing out by limiting yourself to only loving the opposite sex.

This is the main reason I don't call myself bisexual...I am biamorous. It's not that I feel the connotations of either word are all that great but sexual just means *sex* to me..amorous opens the way for loves of both sexes. Monogomy is not high up on my list of priorties, I prefer open relationships for that very reason. All of that being said, I do understand your point but as someone else pointed out already..you can't judge everyone from the actions of some.

Luna

 

[sharesher]

But on the other hand.....

I am bi-sexual- have been interested in both sexes all my life... was married to a man i loved very much for 13 years- we were together all in all for 15..... now i am in a very committed longterm relationship with a woman- we have been together now for three years and are planning on getting married.... i think it just depends on who u are and how u feel..... how it all works out...

 

[Ryan29m]

I am bi-sexual- have been interested in both sexes all my life... was married to a man i loved very much for 13 years- we were together all in all for 15..... now i am in a very committed longterm relationship with a woman- we have been together now for three years and are planning on getting married.... i think it just depends on who u are and how u feel..... how it all works out...

I don't think it's that I couldn't fall in love with a man hypothetically more than I don't have any desire to be in a long term relationship with a man. I want to have kids, and that's kind of hard in a gay relationship(I know adoption is an option but I want my own kids). So that's probably the overriding factor for me.

 

[Sanitysux]

I was married briefly and have been "in love" with several women since, but I've only had a couple of assorted flings with men.
I think that I'm capable of falling for the right guy, I just haven't met or even actively sought him out until recently. Funny thing is, all I've seen from the men that I have encountered so far, is a desire for a fling! ...go figure.

 

[WyldSpirit]

I'm a bi woman and I'm very much in love with a woman. Unfortunately she's been in a relationship for something like 8 years (long before I met her/them). It was totally love at first sight and the more time I spend with her, the more time I want to spend with her. It's always painful for both of us when it's time for me to leave (unfortunately I live and work 80 miles away from her). I'm pretty sure that my next relationship will be with a woman (atleast I'd like it to be and that's what I'm going to look for). So, I know it's possible. However, I also agree with Betticus in that probably most bi people do lean more toward one sex than the other.

 

[mercury93]

i ID'd as bi my whole life until i heard the term 'pansexual' and now i ID as that. but it's funny.. i am biologically female and i married a biological male.. i've had serious long-term relationships with both men and women, but i happened to end up with a man. or so i thought.. we're both ID'ing as trans now! so i started out with him and i as a hetero couple... and now we're still a hetero couple? or maybe we're the queerest couple ever? who knows... love is love. fuck all the rest.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

I know I want a 'happy ever after' relationship with a male. But only want a friendship with sensual play with a woman.

I want to be the more dominant with a woman. But with a man I want equal domination and submission.

I am a Gemini so I want both worlds as far as domination and submission go.

I long for the strong arms of a man and his hard cock. But then I long for the soft lips or a woman and my fingers riding her insides bringing her over the top.

I think 'maybe' if I got too know a transsexual pre-op and our personalities got on well I could go the long term there....

In the end for me I don't know the answers definitely as I have not explored in person enough my bi side.

 

[Xectxny19X]

I usually desire the same sex on a more intimate level than the opposite sex. That's me though. The only time I'm dating the opposite sex now a days is when I'm bored or just not looking for a serious relationship. I tell them up front though and am definitely not stringing anyone along thinking otherwise.

 

[Xectxny19X]

This is the main reason I don't call myself bisexual...I am biamorous. It's not that I feel the connotations of either word are all that great but sexual just means *sex* to me..amorous opens the way for loves of both sexes. Monogomy is not high up on my list of priorties, I prefer open relationships for that very reason. All of that being said, I do understand your point but as someone else pointed out already..you can't judge everyone from the actions of some.

Luna

I def. liked what you said. So, I guess I could be homosexual and biamorous.

 

[anne27]

I think bisexuals can and do fall in love with the same sex all the time. Some supress it, some embrace it, some can't deal with it.

For the most part, I think bisexuals are just like everyone else, only doubly blessed (or cursed) when it comes to matters of sex and of the heart.

 

[Bandit58]

I know I want a 'happy ever after' relationship with a male. But only want a friendship with sensual play with a woman.
<snip>

I'm in a happy D/s relationship with a male, but have found that I need the soft sensual caresses of a woman to be complete. I've only had 3 experiences so far but hoping to remedy that soon. Gil has said that when I have been with a woman I have a "glow" about me. All I know is that I feel incredibly satisfied

I'm not interested in a "relationship" with a woman but would love to have someone for friendship and sensual play as TH says. Gil would be involved or not depending on how she feels about it, and he has said his part would be limited to watching, touching and maybe a bit of oral. Most times she and I would be alone to play. That's the ideal situation anyway

 

[Netzach]

personally, my relationships with women are stormy fucked up and insane, much as I enjoy them, and my relationships with men are less so, so I wound up with one. Simple pragmatism more than a real bias one way or the other.

I lust women, I love some of them, I can't live with one.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I def. liked what you said. So, I guess I could be homosexual and biamorous.

My girl says that I must be the only *straight queer* on the face of the planet!!
I like your definition much better!!

 

[Xectxny19X]

hehe...I still think it kind of sucks though. Why do we even need labels in the first place? Okay, okay...I've heard a couple of answers to that, but I just am unclassified and have no labels for myself right now and probably will never have one concerning sexuality or love.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

hehe...I still think it kind of sucks though. Why do we even need labels in the first place? Okay, okay...I've heard a couple of answers to that, but I just am unclassified and have no labels for myself right now and probably will never have one concerning sexuality or love.

I used to bitch about labels constantly when this forum first started. I hated trying to fit myself into other's perceptions, you know? However, I have come to realize that labels do make a certain amount of sense...how else would I be able to let others know that I am *polyamorous, bi-racial, dominant and masochistic* without em...(the labels I mean)

Off subject for just one moment...if that is you in your av...do you mind if I drool just a bit?? Thanks..

 

[Xectxny19X]

*smiles*

In person, I just usually tell people I'm not straight (I think that my being straight would mean having interest only in guys which is not the case), giggle a bit and move the conversation on to other things.

Oh, I'm bi-racial (Caucasian/Asian), too! Now, that I can live with, hehe.

Xectxny19X<----usually doesn't mind beautiful ladies drooling over her...*looks about innocently*

 

[DarkAurora]

No. I don't think it's missing out on anything because one is not bisexual. You're missing out when you're not getting what you want. There's a difference. Personally, myself I don't give a fuck what people think of me because I'm gay. I'm a gay man and that's who I am, have been since day one. If people can't accept that then see ya! I don't need them. You have to accept and be proud of who you are if you are to be a happy person. If they want to "label" me gay, well then great! Because that's who I am.
Interestinly enough, I've found that most people find it strange and perplexing, not so much because I'm a gay man, but more because I've have never desired to be with a woman. I'm not bisexual. They just don't get it. I will say though, that some of the most painful relationships I've had in my life have been with a bisexual man. Because of the fact that sooner or later, he's going to get that "urge" or "need" to have to have his "fling" with someone of the opposite sex. Problems. Now I'm speaking here for myself, because in my case I'm more of a monogamous person. I would take these flings as cheating or betrayal.
That's why I don't think a gay person and a bisexual person could have a serious monogamous relationship together. Sorry if I got a little off course here, but I do understand your statement that more often than, bisexuals will end up sticking with the opposite sex for a serious relationship.

I personally am very openly gay. I used to be a big closet case but I would never go back to that. I don't give a fuck what people think of me being gay. Some people will love me for it and others will hate me for it and usually the people who hate me for it, their personality is so opposite, we wouldn't get along great anyways. What I meant was that society is very cruel and I wouldn't hold it against anyone who was bi and avoided serious same-sex relationships because they wouldn't want to be labed gay because of the hardships that go with that. I apologize if I offended any bi people on the board. That wasn't my intention.

I really couldn't care if any bi guys wanted to have a relationship with me or not. My problem is just that my cousin is bi and we're very close and she keeps dating these druggy loser guys and I kinda wished she would date a girl because I think a girl would treat her way better but she says she could never fall in love with a woman even though she was in a year-long relationship with a girl a long time ago. I just kinda wanted to get an insight into the way she thinks.

 

[Raimondin]

. What I meant was that society is very cruel and I wouldn't hold it against anyone who was bi and avoided serious same-sex relationships because they wouldn't want to be labed gay because of the hardships that go with that. I apologize if I offended any bi people on the board. That wasn't my intention.

I really couldn't care if any bi guys wanted to have a relationship with me or not. My problem is just that my cousin is bi and we're very close and she keeps dating these druggy loser guys and I kinda wished she would date a girl because I think a girl would treat her way better but she says she could never fall in love with a woman even though she was in a year-long relationship with a girl a long time ago. I just kinda wanted to get an insight into the way she thinks.

Yeah, same here DA. I understood what your point was, and I also apologize as my intention was not to offend anybody gay or bi. I think we were both on the same wave length. The stigma of society's cruelty in labeling or causing hardship is understandable why some stay closeted or avoid serious same-sex relationships. I just went off on some venting tangent and apologize for that too.
Further I think it's very noble of you to be concerned about your cousin and her choice of partners. Believe me, I understand perfectly as I've been there on that one one too many times. Hope things pick up with her.

 

[Sanitysux]

Xectxny19x

Xectxny19x

I just wanted to ask you what this line in your profile means:
"Liew gaw, pood gub kon tee mee muhlayad ka"

Is that Chinese or some other Asian language? I'm only asking because I knew a girl on AOL way back in like 1991 or '92.
She worked in a Oriental restaurant and spoke a little bit of something. I don't know what it was??
We lost touch years ago, and I thought you might be her?? {She used the screen-name "3 little pigs"}
We had a lot of laughs back then , so I just wanted to ask.