Why are you here?

[00Syd]

You know-- some of the totally best BDSM fiction is from fanfiction writers. The best of it is graphic, hot, massively well researched, deeply psychological,and can range from dead-to-rights accuracy, to tentacles....

I love tentacles.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Here are some hot and Dommy tentacles being visited on Xander of Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Here are some sweet vanilla tentacles of love gracing some band members I-- don't even know who they are

A warning for those of us who nurse homophobias, both stories are slash (gay).

Here's a tentacled plot bunny I have never gotten back to...

 

[kara24]

What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)

I originally came to Lit in 2002, looking for stories. Then I started to post a few of my own stories. The more I read and the more I wrote the more I realised my fantasies were taking me into the BDSM section!

2. How long did you lurk?

Although I joined Lit 8 years ago I didnt start lurking on the forums until about a year ago (I think) I did spend a lot of time in the chat room - but that seems to have stopped working now.

3. Why did you stop lurking?

I guess I still lurk a lot lol

4. What has kept you here?

Guess Im just sex obsessed !

5. General Lit thoughts?

Love it! I especially love how I have picked up so much good info and advice and really good ideas of things to try !

 

[Primalex]

4. I have a problem with supervisors. In any other place I sooner or later manage to piss of the admins till they ban me./QUOTE]

No, really?

Yes, really.

I mean, what do they expect when they write a rule like "No nude profile pictures."?

It's like you put a "wet paint" sign somewhere and expect people to not check if it's true.

 

[intothewoods]

I'm absolutely the same.

I'm usually happy enough to talk about the physical aspects and things, but keep the relationship stuff private. So private, that when we were discussing the idea of playing with other people, one of my requests was that we don't show it obviously, and we don't discuss it. It's our stuff.

I'm not entirely certain why I feel like that. I know I'm jealous, and possesive. Somewhat obsessive. Considerably selfish. It'll be a mix of those things, and probably more.

Also I think, it might be due to the intimacy. I just feel (and this is a basic assumption and my opinion only) that when you get involved in bdsm, there's an increased trust, and a different kind of intimacy between partners. It's not something that is as easily explored and shared.

I'm honestly still embarassed. There are very few people I can talk to about the power exchange element of my relationship. Thankfully there are a few though.

 

[zarngash]

Why are you here ? Just some Monday morning musings…

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)
2. How long did you lurk?
3. Why did you stop lurking?
4. What has kept you here?
5. General Lit thoughts?

Why am I here? The best I can figure is my parents had sex, because either they were horny or wanted a child. rim shot Is it dry in here? Rim shot almost has a different meaning on this site...

1. What brought me here? Reading lit stories. Came to the BB to see what it was about and was happy to find the bdsm section.

2. How long did you lurk? I've mostly never have stopped lurking.

3. Why did I stop lurking? See #2 & #4

4. What kept me here? Keroin's posts

5. General Lit thoughts: I like kink!

 

[subish2009]

Just some Monday morning musings…

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)
2. How long did you lurk?
3. Why did you stop lurking?
4. What has kept you here?
5. General Lit thoughts?

1. In the late '90s, when I was still in college, I stumbled across the story section. I read the fiction off and on for about ten years before I even noticed the forum section. And when I say off and on, there were multiple years during which I didn't visit at all. Then I'd be inspired to read a rash of stories before forgetting about it again for a few more years. I joined last year on a whim.

2. I'm not sure how long I lurked... I may have started posting the first day, or the second. I started in the Playground. It seemed like a very safe place for me to dip my toes in...meaningless fun, which was all I was looking for at the time. I liked the word games for a while.

3. I eventually started visiting this forum more and more. It kind of scared me at first! Well, intimidated is probably a better word for it. I don't think I really said much until that Bratty thread with ataxia.girl. In the second thread in which I tried to talk about my personal experiences, I met with a response that was a little too harsh for me and I almost gave up on this board. I've since gotten over it...it was me having too thin a skin, which I probably still do, but it's thickening. I grow more comfortable sharing more of myself as time goes on.

4. Honestly, the biggest thing that's kept me on Lit is my online D. PMs are our only method of communication and we use it every day, dozens of PMs per day. He is the second love of my life (in quantity, not quality). He found me when I hung out on the Playground. That forum, understandably I hope, got old after a while. I come back to this one over and over because I have Lit open pretty much all day most days anyway, and I find myself poking around this forum between PMs. Over time, I've become genuinely interested in and developed affection for many people on this board. Most of my posts are still pretty fluffy, but it's not because I'm not emotionally or intellectually invested in the discussions. It's because I know I'm still too thin-skinned to have any business trying to engage in a lively debate. I get more comfortable with time, though.

5. Um...I've probably babbled enough! Some of you are among the funniest people I've ever known! I'm grateful for that.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I'm honestly still embarassed. There are very few people I can talk to about the power exchange element of my relationship. Thankfully there are a few though.

it's hard for me because there really isn't any aspect of our relationship which can be separated from the power dynamic. even having a conversation about plain old sex can get awkward, when everyone else is like, "ooh it really turns me on when he does X," or "i came six times last night." and what can i add to that..."oh well i believe sex is only for a man's pleasure," "i think i had an orgasm back in '01, hated it." my Master and i don't scene, we don't engage in erotic games or play, so i just don't feel i can relate to most people in the public scene at all. maybe i need to find an amish sewing circle or something, lol.

 

[BiBunny]

it's hard for me because there really isn't any aspect of our relationship which can be separated from the power dynamic. even having a conversation about plain old sex can get awkward, when everyone else is like, "ooh it really turns me on when he does X," or "i came six times last night." and what can i add to that..."oh well i believe sex is only for a man's pleasure," "i think i had an orgasm back in '01, hated it." my Master and i don't scene, we don't engage in erotic games or play, so i just don't feel i can relate to most people in the public scene at all. maybe i need to find an amish sewing circle or something, lol.

It's not just you. I love sex and love to have orgasms, but I don't relate to the people in the public scene, either, LOL.

 

[intothewoods]

it's hard for me because there really isn't any aspect of our relationship which can be separated from the power dynamic. even having a conversation about plain old sex can get awkward, when everyone else is like, "ooh it really turns me on when he does X," or "i came six times last night." and what can i add to that..."oh well i believe sex is only for a man's pleasure," "i think i had an orgasm back in '01, hated it." my Master and i don't scene, we don't engage in erotic games or play, so i just don't feel i can relate to most people in the public scene at all. maybe i need to find an amish sewing circle or something, lol.

I don't feel like I can separate certain aspects either, but our power dynamic is often subtle. But, look, I get off on sex that is all about his pleasure. We often have the 1950s sex rosco has described where he gets off and then leaves the room. I find it hot and do get off, but most of my friends would find this sad and pathetic. They don't get it. We talk about other things. And then I have those few (non-scene) friends who get it or at least get that I'm weird and don't judge. We have rarely played at parties, and we rarely attend parties, so that's a difficulty in relating to people in the scene. Also, most people are not in 24/7 power exchange relationships. The scene is not my everything, by far. But there are really nice, friendly pervert people there who are fun to hang out with.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)

I actually used to spend about 30 hours a week on a very vibrant antique tractor forum. One day, in a particularly nasty and personal debate with koolfarmguy1951 over whether the Fordson Super Major was a sweeter ride than the Lanz Spaniard 4090 (in their PRIME, mind you!), I looked up and thought:

What. the fuck. Are you doing?

I sold my collection of Marvel-Schebler vintage parts, found Lit and I'm much happier.

2. How long did you lurk?

I read stories and hung around for a year or so before starting to post regularly. I needed to find a smaller group. When I first dropped in (maybe it was the GB), Lit as a whole seemed like a street riot. I wanted to duck out of the looters and tear gas and into a coffee shop and hang out. I found one, where the baristas wear leather.

3. Why did you stop lurking?

I found some smaller groups that I could relate to: the poetry forum and the BDSM boards. Began to make some interesting connections and figure out what the hell was going on.

And when the paintgirl began posting like a dervish, that drew me into the forums more.

4. What has kept you here?

I've made some good friends. Which I never really expected. There are some smart, interesting, kind, hilarious, fucked up people on Lit. I like the sense of community on this board. I enjoy the ideas. I like having a forum for my poetry, and reading other poets.

The sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex.

And I like the nonsense; they were such a serious bunch over at yesterday's tractor.

5. General Lit thoughts?

I play around a bit on the PG and GB, and post on the poetry boards sometimes. But I always come back to the BDSM boards. I like the people here. I enjoy the discussions, even when I just lurk. The preferences and ideas discussed here best embody my sexuality. Also, I have a frequent poster card, and I'm amassing points for special offers, coupons and hopefully, a free holiday turkey.

 

[graceanne]

Yes, really.

I mean, what do they expect when they write a rule like "No nude profile pictures."?

It's like you put a "wet paint" sign somewhere and expect people to not check if it's true.

Do you, also, have an almost overwhelming urge to open those doors that say 'do not open, alarm will sound' just to see if the alarm will sound?

 

[subish2009]

Do you, also, have an almost overwhelming urge to open those doors that say 'do not open, alarm will sound' just to see if the alarm will sound?

Oh, dude, doesn't everybody?!? Even I have that urge!

 

[graceanne]

Oh, dude, doesn't everybody?!? Even I have that urge!

Me, too. No one else in my family does, though. They just roll their eyes at me.

 

[subish2009]

Me, too. No one else in my family does, though. They just roll their eyes at me.

Subbie thing? How far can I push before there are consequences?

Kink thing? Everyone else's rules don't apply to me?

 

[graceanne]

Subbie thing? How far can I push before there are consequences?

Kink thing? Everyone else's rules don't apply to me?

I don't think primalex is a sub, so it can't be that. Maybe it's just an overwhelming curiosity thing.

 

[chelleb]

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)
I was searching one day for erotic stories. Lit was one of the sites that came up, and the only one that seemed worth the time to look through. Like a lot have said, I read the stories for a few years before realizing there was a forum. I saw "Bulletin Board" one day and wondered what it was. I believe I started with the Playground, just to see what was going on. Realized while reading stories one day, that the BDSM ones turned me on more than the rest, and wandered over to this forum.

2. How long did you lurk?
My best guess is probably about 6months or so after finding the forums before I joined.

3. Why did you stop lurking?
There was either a post I wanted to comment on, or ask a question on. I really don't remember which it was.

4. What has kept you here?
Though I haven't really talked to too many people from here, there are some 'regulars' whose intelligence and insights amaze me still, and look forward to reading their posts. Again, even though I haven't talked to many of them, from reading their posts it feels as though I know them, and am intrigued by most of their lives. Also the friendliness of most people here (GB excepted of course), and their non-judgemental attitude. There is almost nothing I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing or asking because of this. Knowledge has kept me here too. I love to read, and I think once I discovered BDSM I read everything I could find online about it, starting with Lit's sticky's, and site recommendations I found in people's posts.

5. General Lit thoughts
I think Lit is a great place to share and interract with similarly-minded people. There is such a wealth of knowledge here that at times it can be staggering. I'm very glad such a place exists, otherwise I'm not sure I'd have ever known or put a name to what I want and enjoy.

 

[naxalite0906]

Just some Monday morning musings…

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)
2. How long did you lurk?
3. Why did you stop lurking?
4. What has kept you here?
5. General Lit thoughts?

1) I used to read the stories on lit and one day saw there was a forum and thought I would go and see what was going on. To begin with, it wasn't BDSM that brought me here, just wanting to meet people and learn about kinks and discover myself. I used to post in the playground quite a lot, before finding my way here.

2) I didn't lurk for long, I had friends on the PG so I just tried to join in. It was difficult, but eventually I got the hang of it!

3) See above. But I seem to lurk more nowadays than I ever did.

4) Mainly the people. I had a lot of cool friends before I came to the forum, and met some more awesome people once I was a member. It was nice to chat, and learn about eachother as well as discover things about ourselves. Unfortunately most people who I considered good friends decided to go all quiet on me, without me even doing anything. This always makes me a little sad when I think about it as I miss a few of them and would love to chat with them again. (by that I mean long PM discussions, or even MSN)

5) My main lit thought is of gratitude as even though friends have been and gone, I met one wonderful person who currently lights up my life every single day. We met on here, and are now a couple in RL and I wouldn't change it for the world and I consider myself the luckiest guy on the planet. This would be another reason why I will always visit lit and will never forget about it.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

it's hard for me because there really isn't any aspect of our relationship which can be separated from the power dynamic. even having a conversation about plain old sex can get awkward, when everyone else is like, "ooh it really turns me on when he does X," or "i came six times last night." and what can i add to that..."oh well i believe sex is only for a man's pleasure," "i think i had an orgasm back in '01, hated it." my Master and i don't scene, we don't engage in erotic games or play, so i just don't feel i can relate to most people in the public scene at all. maybe i need to find an amish sewing circle or something, lol.

What's your definition of 'scene'?

I tend to think of it as a pre-planned, semi scripted kind of thing. That's not our thing either. Meh. He tends to just tell me what he wants, although he *is* open to suggestion. (Usually of the 'why don't I give you a massage first?' variety)

Though like bunny, I do love my orgasms. Mine tend to be self induced though, at his leisure, or when alone. It's not my focus during sex. It puts me off. Although the couple of times it's just sorta kinda happened anyway have been mindblowing.

I don't feel like I can separate certain aspects either, but our power dynamic is often subtle. But, look, I get off on sex that is all about his pleasure. We often have the 1950s sex rosco has described where he gets off and then leaves the room. I find it hot and do get off, but most of my friends would find this sad and pathetic. They don't get it.

Oh yes. Very much this. For me, it's more getting off on an emotional level though. I've also found it near impossible to explain that it makes me happy like that, even to people who profess to understand a D/s dynamic.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I don't feel like I can separate certain aspects either, but our power dynamic is often subtle. But, look, I get off on sex that is all about his pleasure. We often have the 1950s sex rosco has described where he gets off and then leaves the room. I find it hot and do get off, but most of my friends would find this sad and pathetic. They don't get it. We talk about other things. And then I have those few (non-scene) friends who get it or at least get that I'm weird and don't judge. We have rarely played at parties, and we rarely attend parties, so that's a difficulty in relating to people in the scene. Also, most people are not in 24/7 power exchange relationships. The scene is not my everything, by far. But there are really nice, friendly pervert people there who are fun to hang out with.

and i'm sure that's absolutely true, i just haven't been fortunate enough to form those connections with people yet. but Daddy, again being the social type, uses the public scene much like you do. He has a solid group of male Dominant friends that he can connect with on stuff like sports and music, has even formed a little band with other Dominant musicians. and he enjoys these friends very much, as even though they may not be able to understand his relationship philosophy they are still open-minded pervy folk with whom he can be himself.

otoh when i try to interact with people at these places i'm left just feeling like a freak, because my life is so different, so small. the bit you said above in bold has a lot to do with it also, i think. it seems for many who are super active in the public scene, they use either bdsm or some limited form of power exchange as an escape. it's not their day in, day out way of life or way of thinking.

 

[ownedsubgal]

What's your definition of 'scene'?

I tend to think of it as a pre-planned, semi scripted kind of thing. That's not our thing either. Meh. He tends to just tell me what he wants, although he *is* open to suggestion. (Usually of the 'why don't I give you a massage first?' variety)

pre-planned, semi-scripted...yes that would be a scene, but i also think of a scene as an isolated bdsm or kink activity. by isolated i mean it stands out, it's not part of the natural flow of the day. like, you're going about your life, smiling and joking, washing dishes and watching "Oprah," then the Dominant partner wants to engage in a "scene." so you drop everything and proceed to engage in the "scene," during which the Dom is suddenly very stern and demanding, and you are shiveringly eager to obey his every command. then after the scene is over, Dom is smiley and chipper again and you are reminding him to get his dirty boxers off the floor. lol

this is my idea of a "scene" just from reading descriptions/blogs from various bdsm folks over the years. it's the stop/start thing i don't get, and how for many people their attitudes, demeanor, expectations and general persona within a scene is something apart from the way they are outside of a scene.

 

[intothewoods]

and i'm sure that's absolutely true, i just haven't been fortunate enough to form those connections with people yet. but Daddy, again being the social type, uses the public scene much like you do. He has a solid group of male Dominant friends that he can connect with on stuff like sports and music, has even formed a little band with other Dominant musicians. and he enjoys these friends very much, as even though they may not be able to understand his relationship philosophy they are still open-minded pervy folk with whom he can be himself.

otoh when i try to interact with people at these places i'm left just feeling like a freak, because my life is so different, so small. the bit you said above in bold has a lot to do with it also, i think. it seems for many who are super active in the public scene, they use either bdsm or some limited form of power exchange as an escape. it's not their day in, day out way of life or way of thinking.

My impression is that for most people the event is their escape, and not bdsm. It's time with friends, time for socializing and the space to engage in s&m activities -- away from kids, jobs, small apartments, whatever. Some people get off on the public aspect. Lots of different reasons, but overall I would say a lot of people do have a private bdsm life of some sort. It just doesn't come up in casual conversation.

Also, you probably know this, but there are a lot of local groups and they all have different flavors. Some are more about bringing different communities -- queer, sacred sexuality (the woo woo types), swingers, bdsm -- together. And some are more bdsm-focused with less sex. And some are really young and sex-focused. One benefit to the mishmash group is that the range of freaks is a wide one, so I find I can relate to different people in different ways.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

pre-planned, semi-scripted...yes that would be a scene, but i also think of a scene as an isolated bdsm or kink activity. by isolated i mean it stands out, it's not part of the natural flow of the day. like, you're going about your life, smiling and joking, washing dishes and watching "Oprah," then the Dominant partner wants to engage in a "scene." so you drop everything and proceed to engage in the "scene," during which the Dom is suddenly very stern and demanding, and you are shiveringly eager to obey his every command. then after the scene is over, Dom is smiley and chipper again and you are reminding him to get his dirty boxers off the floor. lol

this is my idea of a "scene" just from reading descriptions/blogs from various bdsm folks over the years. it's the stop/start thing i don't get, and how for many people their attitudes, demeanor, expectations and general persona within a scene is something apart from the way they are outside of a scene.

*nods*

I'm trying to think back to the days where I lived with the Dominant partner, and if we ever did anything like that. And I think it was mostly like that.

Now, with the Mr, because we don't live together, most of our time together is spent in that headspace. But it's much more natural and free flowing. I find myself more attuned to his needs. It doesn't feel isolated or like it stands out, if that makes sense.

The only time it feels start/stoppy is if we're trying something new, and feeling things out.

I know what you mean though.. I don't quite get that "at 8pm Tuesday, I'm going to do this and this to you" and people acting differently. It almost sounds like roleplaying to me.

 

[Keroin]

4. What kept me here? Keroin's posts

Your cheque is in the mail.