Why are you here?

[culloden]

Just some Monday morning musings…

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)

I was looking for halfway well-written erotica.

2. How long did you lurk?

Coupla years.

3. Why did you stop lurking?

I think I had a question.

4. What has kept you here?

Titillation, the hope of finding new ideas, reading others' fantasies.

5. General Lit thoughts?

Lit has definitely improved our sex life. The anonymity of the web has made it easy to ask questions and learn from strangers in a way that I never would with the people I hang out with.

 

[eastern sun]

Just some Monday morning musings…

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)
2. How long did you lurk?
3. Why did you stop lurking?
4. What has kept you here?
5. General Lit thoughts?

1. My husband had been on literotica for a while. He solicited letters from people who wanted to seduce me. I read them.

2. I corresponded privately for a long time before I posted publicly. And stalked people I was interested in without paying much attention to other conversations.

3. I wanted to share my writing. And then realized I could ask questions about things that were bothering me.

4. The "marks of a slave" thread and a whole lot of habit. I also love many of the people here, and watch their lives unfold with great affection and concern.

5. I wish there was more discussion of various BDSM lifestyle practices, in addition to the pornography and witty banter. Sometimes I feel kind of silly taking it so seriously in this context. I tried to migrate to fetlife along with other regulars here, but I got hit on in ways I wasn't comfortable with - and my husband takes advantage of people hitting on me . No one ever hits on me here, so it feels much safer. (I do agree though that fetlife is a great way of keeping track of the local calendar of events.)

 

[graceanne]

That's so sad. I don't get people sometimes.

Me, either.

 

[midwestyankee]

I
Pardon me while I break out into song...

"How do solve a problem like the Yankster?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means midwestyankee?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!"

Nice work.

There one was a lassie named K
Whose beauty we'd bask in all day
Said she from BC,
"I'm confused, don't you see?"
But spank me much harder, okay?

 

[rosco rathbone]

I originally came here with a chip on my shoulder about all kinds of BDSM shit that seems totally unimportant now. Ended up getting sucked in and the rest is history.

 

[DVS]

Just some Monday morning musings…

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)
2. How long did you lurk?
3. Why did you stop lurking?
4. What has kept you here?
5. General Lit thoughts?

I guess I'll jump in to the deep end. I can swim.

1.
I sent a series of emails to a female friend of mine. They were intended to torment and excite her in a sexual way. They did. She enjoyed them so much that she suggested I arrange them into a story. I did. "The Box"

Once that was done, I needed an outlet for this story. She was the one to suggest Literotica. I don't know why. She wasn't a writer herself. Maybe she was a reader and frequented the site or maybe she just found it with a search engine. Anyway, that's how I got to Lit.

2.
I didn't lurk that much, but I'd say I did for a week or two. Because I was a writer, the forum I frequented 75% of my time on was the Author's Hangout. It was a default thing. I just figured it was the place to be if you were a writer.

3.
There was a place to introduce yourself, and so I did. And once the story was posted, I got a few PMs but I still felt like I was unknown. I still felt like I was an outsider. I don't think I really was, but it just seemed like that.

I did come to this forum from time to time, because my sexual interests as well as my writing subject matter is BDSM based. But, I continued to make the AH my home base.

4.
After a couple of weeks or so, I was starting to get the hang of this forum posting thing, although I was still a newbie. As we all were once newbies, your posts don't tend to have the impact you think they should, with the regulars. You're still considered an outsider, a stranger, or to use forum terminology...a troll.

One day, I saw a post in this forum where a female writer (she frequented the AH a lot) had stated she only felt secure in mentioning something in this forum. She went on to say she enjoyed enemas. I don't remember if the statement sparked much of an interest from forum members, but because she was a very frequent poster and had her share of friends, the thread was popular.

I do remember that she had once mentioned that she wasn't that into BDSM as a kink, but she did hang out in the BDSM forum because she sometimes wrote stories with a BDSM flavor.

She was a regular in the AH, but I'd consider her a semi-regular in this forum. And needless to say, she had her share of friends and/or followers. I'd better call it a gang. She had no issues with giving someone her opinion on almost any topic. To say the least, she seemed to enjoy throwing her weight around. I guess she was/is a friend of Laural and that seemed to carry a bit of weight. There were times she liked to think she was in charge.

I say that, so you'll know the atmosphere that I experienced a day or two later. A couple of days after she posted this enema statement, there was a thread in the AH where she was toe to toe with someone over something that was said. This was a regular thing with her. She was frequently at odds with whomever, for whatever the reason.

Anyway, someone posted in another thread in the AH stating that she was really getting mad in that particular argument. Even more so than she normally did...and as a rule she rarely held her punches, slinging profanity and insults rather easily.

So, remembering the thread she had started in this forum, in my dry sense of humor, I mentioned that maybe she needed another soapy hosing, or something to that effect. I didn't add a link to this forum, or even mention the thread in this forum.

Actually, I thought I was very vague. I hoped people would see it as the dry humor I had intended it to be. I guess someone mentioned my post to her, and she opened yet another thread in this forum stating that I had outed her on the AH forum with my post. She said it was against Literotica's forum rules.

Actually, I had broken no written rules, but as the bash continued, she and others said I had broken an unwritten rule. I guess I should have known about this rule, even though I had only been posting for a short time? I asked why it wasn't a written rule, but never got an answer. I think my dry humor just pissed her off.

I won't go into detail, but it was an all out bashing of me by her and her friends. To say it was ugly, is only breaking the surface. She called me every profane name in the book and towards the end she refused to refer to me as anything but "it".

Her friends were nearly as ugly as she was. They would misspell my nick as DMV, DDT, BVD, etc. in cute attempts to piss me off. By searching for the threads involved, you will see just how vindictive a person she can be and how much control she had over her fellow posters. People knew this and so she got her way a lot of the time. To say this is a long story...trust me, it went on for quite a while.

But that was back in 2002 and in a weird way, because I stuck it out, I figure I pretty much own a little bit of this forum. I've paid my dues, as it were.

5.
Lit has seemed like a kind of home base for me. I've found a following of my own, and I think my writing has given me help with that. Once you develop a style or whatever, people tend to know you, through your writing. They expect a certain style and a certain quality from you. After a while, you begin to think of them as your groupies.

I've gone back to the AH a few times, but I don't feel the same, there. And, if I were to go to another site with my stories, it would take some time to develop the same warmth and understanding I feel from the readers of Lit. I consider it to be a quality place to have my stories posted. I don't always agree with the site's rules, because I have one story they rejected as being too violent for their site. I won't go in to that, except to say I have posted it in my writing section of FetLife, if you want to read it.

This forum (the main BDSM and the cafe) have been my home for fun and sexual enjoyment. And I feel I have an opinion. I've also got experiences I can pass on. So, other than the minor skirmishes and disagreements I've had while here, I've just passed my 8th anniversary of posting here. I think I'll stick around a little longer.

 

[Keroin]

3. I wanted to share my writing.

I'm glad you did, your writing is beautiful.

5. I wish there was more discussion of various BDSM lifestyle practices, in addition to the pornography and witty banter. Sometimes I feel kind of silly taking it so seriously in this context.

This is interesting to me.

You see, I get the impression that everyone here attaches different levels of significance to BDSM and/or their chosen way of life. I don't consider anyone's perspective better or worse and I certainly don't think of you as "silly" by any means. My guess is that people will behave on here as they do in RL - to a certain degree. (More edited in some respects, less in others).

If you met me, you would find, for example, that I am quite happy to get into deep discussions on many topics...just not anything concerning my sex/love life and such. You'd also find that I'm almost always smiling and I make some sort of joke or wisecrack at every opportunity. I *think* that's how I come across on Lit but I can't be sure.

So, although I don't consider discussions of BDSM lifestyle practices silly or unworthy that's just generally a topic I'm not interested in talking about with a group. Doesn't mean I don't like to read those discussions, though.

And yeah, I have some personal biases, I'll be honest about that - which is another reason I tend not to involve myself in those discussions.

 

[DVS]

Pardon me while I break out into song...

"How do solve a problem like the Yankster?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means midwestyankee?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!"

So, who do I talk to about plagiarism?

 

[Keroin]

Nice work.

There one was a lassie named K
Whose beauty we'd bask in all day
Said she from BC,
"I'm confused, don't you see?"
But spank me much harder, okay?

OK, you can have ice cream again.

I originally came here with a chip on my shoulder about all kinds of BDSM shit that seems totally unimportant now. Ended up getting sucked in and the rest is history.

I didn't really know what BDSM was until I found Lit. I mean I'd "done" it, I was wired up that way, I just didn't know there was a technical term. LOL.

4. After a couple of weeks or so...<snipping>...But that was back in 2002 and in a weird way, because I stuck it out, I figure I pretty much own a little bit of this forum. I've paid my dues, as it were.

What an awful experience, DVS! Yowsa. Seriously, I would have flipped the whole gang the bird and left. Bravo to you for sticking it out.

So is this terrible person still here?

5. I think I'll stick around a little longer.

You better or I'll be forced to smack you!

 

[Netzach]

I honestly don't remember. I stayed due to a now quiet thread started by Rosco called "Topopolis" that was the virtually THE only discussion of male dominance I'd ever seen on the 'net that didn't make me want to laugh or hurl.

 

[DVS]

...So is this terrible person still here?

Yes, she's still a Lit member, but she hangs out on a different forum. Not even the AH. I don't think I should give her name, although I'd love to piss her off, again. LOL.

You better or I'll be forced to smack you!

Are you sure your submissive? You sure toss the smack word around a lot.


~smile~

 

[Keroin]

"Topopolis"

Awesome thread title. Sounds vaguely Greek.

 

[BiBunny]

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)

*Ahem* The Internet. *Ducks* No, really, I found the stories section of Lit when I was 18, which was when I realized there was a name for that weird stuff I was into. I lurked for years before ever posting.

2. How long did you lurk?

Found Lit in 2002. I registered in 2005. So, yeah, 3 years. I didn't follow the boards religiously for an entire 3 years, mind you, but I did come back and read from time to time.

3. Why did you stop lurking?

I'd broken up with my nutjob vanilla boyfriend and decided it was time to have some real-life experience that was more than just what I'd already experimented with. I'm pretty sure one of my first threads here was how to do strict bondage on a person with a shoulder injury.

4. What has kept you here?

The interesting people, mostly.

5. General Lit thoughts?

I wish we could have meatier discussions without the threads being shat upon by the same old people. But some things never change.

 

[Keroin]

Are you sure your submissive? You sure toss the smack word around a lot.


~smile~

I see your ~smile~ and I raise you a ~guffaw~


According to my writing partner, I am a sadist. LOL. (I bet he trembles every time he sees my name in his inbox).

 

[Keroin]

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)

*Ahem* The Internet. *Ducks* No, really, I found the stories section of Lit when I was 18, which was when I realized there was a name for that weird stuff I was into. I lurked for years before ever posting.

*SMACK*

Now look what you made me do!

Found Lit in 2002. I registered in 2005. So, yeah, 3 years. I didn't follow the boards religiously for an entire 3 years, mind you, but I did come back and read from time to time.

Wow, that's a lot of lurking!

5. General Lit thoughts?

I wish we could have meatier discussions without the threads being shat upon by the same old people. But some things never change.

Can you elaborate on this a bit? It seems like a few people have expressed the same basic thought, so I'm curious about the specifics.

(I have some editing I am avoiding, also).

 

[neci]

Just some Monday morning musings…

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)
2. How long did you lurk?
3. Why did you stop lurking?
4. What has kept you here?
5. General Lit thoughts?

1. i read the stories long before signing up on the forum. i had never posted on a board before, and i found the entire thing very strange and awkward. i have never been a huge fan of computers. i had a friend in college who was all into online role playing and surfing chat sites. she would tell me about it, and it was normally met with a blank stare from me. needless to say, i eventually got a laptop to help me out with work, and that's when my lit surfing really started. i posted a couple of times then went back to lurking and reading. i finally posted in the BDSM forum after reading something that pissed me off.

2. i lurked here off and on for about a year before really posting.

3. i felt like playing.

4. i really like the people here. the BDSM forum is the one forum i keep coming back to. i enjoy the conversations and people watching. i like the group dynamics here and how things flow.

5. there are a lot of crazy people out there. myself included. it feels good.

 

[Keroin]

I want to edit my posts!!!!

*shakes angry fist at screen*

 

[Keroin]

5. there are a lot of crazy people out there. myself included. it feels good.

Crazy and immature people.

 

[BiBunny]

Can you elaborate on this a bit? It seems like a few people have expressed the same basic thought, so I'm curious about the specifics.

Sure. In my opinion, the interesting discussions do one of two things. They die a quick death because two or three people will say something insightful and then everyone else says, "I agree." Or they'll turn into a who's got the bigger dick contest, which takes the focus away from the actual point of the thread.

Check out the longer threads in Talk. Most of them are arguments, LOL. Eastern sun's "Marks of a Slave" thread is a notable exception. The rest of them sorta just fizzle.

I would like to see more interesting discussions (insert your own definition of interesting discussion here ) that don't fizzle or get hijacked with BS.

 

[neci]

4. Well, at first it was just loneliness that kept me here. The island was small and the chances for interesting and intelligent conversation were limited. Then, what can I say, I came to enjoy the various conversations, serious or otherwise. Also, I learn things here and I like that my ideas are challenged. And laughs…I’ve gotten some great laughs from this board. Ironically, the kink aspect of this board is not a factor in why I participate.

i can relate to this. i live in a small town, and it can be pretty damn conservative. i also needed some interesting and intelligent conversations with laughs.

Yes, I feel that too. I went over to FL once...and only once...because I was curious about something someone here had mentioned. I got a weird vibe there, I've never returned. Also, I disliked that I had to register to read the forums - without even making a single post I received a pm from some person wanting to hook up with me, yuck.

ahhhh, FL. i signed up and stayed for maybe a day or two. i didn't post anything (can't even remember my screen name.) i started getting these PM's that were along the lines of, Me Dom, you sub, cum here now. not that you don't get that on lit sometimes, but i thought, oh hell no. plus i didn't want to sit around trying to get the feel for a whole new place when i was already getting comfortable here.

 

[midwestyankee]

Let's do this again, shall we?

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)
2. How long did you lurk?
3. Why did you stop lurking?
4. What has kept you here?
5. General Lit thoughts?

1. My original answer is the case. For a couple years I had been searching for and printing out French and Italian language stories here to share with my wife the linguist/language teacher. That effort didn't bring about the response that I wanted but at some point, after giving up on that particular use of the stories, I spotted the link to the discussion forum.

2. Didn't really lurk much at all - perhaps a day.

3. On the first or second day after I spotted the forums and joined, I found a particularly inviting thread in The Playground that was aimed at Chicago area people and the regulars there welcomed me right off. In fact, I'm still very close friends with a couple people that I met there in 2003.


4. I stayed because visiting Lit gave me some people with whom to take a coffee break during my generally solitary work day. My participation here has evolved over time, as I moved from The Playground to the How To forum and then to this forum and now I spend an equal amount of time in the Author's Hangout. What brings me back day after day, though, is the people. I genuinely like the people here and have struck up long-term friendships with several.

5. One of the most amazing things about Lit is the general openness of the community. Yes, I know that we sometimes give newbies less attention than they deserve but on the whole I think this is a particularly open community. When I first came here, there was a long thread begun by a man who was having deep problems in his marriage. He felt like his only resort was to ask for a divorce. I read page after page of posts by well-intentioned people who tried to help him understand his and his wife's issues. He reported back occasionally on different things they would try to improve their communication or to approach their sex life a little differently. After about three months the relationship had improved enough that they went to counseling together. I think he stopped continuing the thread after that but I was really moved by the experience documented in that thread.

I'm one of the worst offenders at highjacking threads, and I know that it's often my first impulse to go for the quick joke or the bad pun, but I also enjoy the deeper discussions here and would love to see more. Even though I don't always participate - particularly if I think that I don't have much that is new or valuable to add - such threads as The Marks of a Slave can make a difference in people's lives. We could all do worse than to be a part of such good things.

 

[Primalex]

1. I was looking for a replacement for assm/asstr.

2. Not very long. I'm not shy.

3. A sub got a new boyfriend and went mono. I was looking for replacement.

4. I have a problem with supervisors. In any other place I sooner or later manage to piss of the admins till they ban me.

5. You should have to write a story and publish it before you are allowed to participate.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Just some Monday morning musings…

1. What brought you to Lit and specifically to this forum? (If you say “the Internet” I will be forced to smack you)

I started reading the erotica and clicked on the boards link for the hell of it one day.

2. How long did you lurk?

2-3 years

3. Why did you stop lurking?

I enjoyed the conversations and wanted to attempt to contribute.

4. What has kept you here?

It's pretty laid back and open minded. For the most part, people discuss topics and don't get angry when someone has a different point of view. It's allowed me to consider things that I would not otherwise have considered.

5. General Lit thoughts?

I still have trouble thinking of something to say most of the time.

1. Internet. *waits for smack* I was looking for erotica and got curious. I thought I was a freak.
2. Awhile, I can't recall specifically.
3. Cause I had a smart ass comment just BURSTING to get out.
4. Friends.
5. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA SMACK ME?

You beat me to it. *stomps around*

 

[graceanne]

4. I have a problem with supervisors. In any other place I sooner or later manage to piss of the admins till they ban me./QUOTE]

No, really?

You beat me to it. *stomps around*

~smiles~ = nyah nyah nyah

 

[intothewoods]

it's okay, i just think fet isn't so great for certain kinds of people, while it's super for others.

we are in the DC area, and the bdsm "scene" is pretty large. there are many munches, special events, parties, groups, etc. but as i stated before, they tend to be bdsm-focused. and, in imho, D/s as far as a natural personality type (as opposed to a role one chooses to take on sexually or within a specific relationship) is not a part of the bdsm acronym. D/s as we live it is more a "traditional" way of thinking and living.

i have heard of MAsT, but from what my Master has shared with me even they attract a good deal of leather and bdsm folks.

now of course if you actually go to these events you will find individuals who while interested in bdsm, have a more D/s-type philosophy, but that requires actually getting out there and actively getting to know a tremendous amount of people. being very shy with tons of social anxiety, and being very limited as far as how often i can get to these events in the first place, that's just not practical for me.

now my Master on the other hand is a very social person and gets to know people easily, so he knows how to navigate fet and the other sites to find the kind of people he likes and can relate to.

The part in bold is true. A lot of people I know are involved in D/s relationships, but they don't talk about it in the same way that they might chit chat about an s&m technique or a scene event or something. I'm the same way. That stuff is private. It's easier to talk about it here. Fwiw, there are a lot of very shy people in the scene. Maybe they're less shy than you. I don't know. But it's something I commonly here from folks.

1. My husband had been on literotica for a while. He solicited letters from people who wanted to seduce me. I read them.

2. I corresponded privately for a long time before I posted publicly. And stalked people I was interested in without paying much attention to other conversations.

3. I wanted to share my writing. And then realized I could ask questions about things that were bothering me.

4. The "marks of a slave" thread and a whole lot of habit. I also love many of the people here, and watch their lives unfold with great affection and concern.

5. I wish there was more discussion of various BDSM lifestyle practices, in addition to the pornography and witty banter. Sometimes I feel kind of silly taking it so seriously in this context. I tried to migrate to fetlife along with other regulars here, but I got hit on in ways I wasn't comfortable with - and my husband takes advantage of people hitting on me . No one ever hits on me here, so it feels much safer. (I do agree though that fetlife is a great way of keeping track of the local calendar of events.)

I have wished for more discussion on lifestyle practices as well, but then I started thinking, maybe there's not much to say? Or not much more than what we say in your thread at least. What topics would you like to see covered?