Why are we here? (Im gonna actually be serious for once)

[Bluesboy2]

I know I am here to make some friends and have some fun. There are a lot of truly wonderful people here. I have made friends with some people that I think will stand the test of many years. Sure most of my posts are silly, but I also have a serious and compassionate side that comes out more in one-on-one talk.
But lately it gets harder and harder to come here. The petty squabbles and mean-spiritedness are emotionally draining to me. It seems like there is some new conflict everyday. Most of those could be handled by simply ignoring the thread or person that is being petty. But that seldom happens. Instead we get a large portion of the boards taking sides and bickering.
The only tattoo I ever seriously considered getting was one that went across my back that simply said "Rise Above". It was to remind me that I am a better person for not stooping to the lows I know I am capable of. Its easy to return fire and emerge victorious, but that is often costly to the board as a whole. Might it be better at some point to remain silent, rise above it all and be able to say "I will not let my battle bring the board to war"?
Before I post I try to remember why I came here in the first place. I dont need drama. I have that in abundance in my own life. I came here for comraderie and fun.
Why did you come here?

 

[SweetCherry]

I cme to find adult conversation and good solid friendships. I simply tend to ignore all the pettiness. I thikn most look upon me as a "fluff" poster, but that's just fine with me. I've got a serious side that my real friends have seen. Anyone else can just continue ignoring me. The truth is, I have a rather boring and lonely life where I live. I've drifted away from most of my friends due to vatious reasons that I don't want to get into. This fills in a gap that's left. I've made some wonderful friendships thru my online escapades and I wouldn't change anything.

 

[someplace]

Why did I come here?

I came here for distraction. I ended up finding much, much more. On it's good days, this is a wonderful, fun and caring place. On it's poorer days, I'd rather stay away.

You are right Bluesy. The pettiness and bickering are dragging the boards down. People are starting to stay away and it's not as much fun when only the poopies are left to play with.

 

[bluemuse]

I originally looked at this place as a fun distraction, a diversion. I didn't come here looking for, or expecting anything more. It was a pleasant surprise when I actually started forming friendships with people here. I'm fairly new to the internet, and until recently I scoffed at the idea that one could actually form an attachment to someone that they met through a computer.

As for the bickering and pettiness......I stay away from it. If people were arguing in front of me, I wouldn't butt in......so I treat the online bickering the same way. I have enough stress and drama in my life w/out getting involved in the negative stuff that happens here. Like SweetCherry, most probably see me as a "fluff poster"....it doesn't matter to me. The people who really know me, know that there is a lot more going on behind the name "bluemuse".

 

[amelia]

i came here for masturbation purposes (originally)

but...i've stayed b/c i'm having a great time interacting with a lot of very different people.

 

[Vinny]

Amelia

Did you ever find someone to masterbate with? I came flr friendship and stress relief.

 

[amelia]

Re: Amelia

Did you ever find someone to masterbate with? I came flr friendship and stress relief.

i meant b/c of the stories, yo

 

[Vinny]

Oh I see

I was hoping to fill your void

 

[medjay]

I'm here because I like getting into discussions on a wide variety of topics. Also, since this board isn't populated with a bunch of kids the threads are usually intellegent and worth reading.

I honestly don't notice too much of the bickering that you speak of but since I'm relatively new here I probably just took it as part of the regular goings on of the board. I guess it used to be a much nicer place.

 

[glamorilla]

i came here for masturbation purposes (originally)

but...i've stayed b/c i'm having a great time interacting with a lot of very different people.

me too!

 

[sexy-girl]

part of why i first came here was to ask questions about my sexuality to people that didnt know me very well so i would get back honest answers

 

[Bluesboy2]

I happen to like fluff posters

To me, its all about enjoying life as much as I can. I have some differences with certain people on this board. But I would prefer to keep those to myself, I like a pleasant atmosphere to post in. I guess I just wanna have fun and not be drawn in to all this drama. My way is to judge people by how they treat me and my friends. On this board my solution would be to just ignore what others say about me that is unfair or untrue.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I came to Lit because I had written a story which Laurel said she'd post. When the Bulletin Board was first created I hung out because I was able to satisfy my curiousities about sensuality, and because ever since I was a kid playing with a ham radio I've loved the idea of talking to people all over the planet.

As for the "daily conflicts" etc., please understand that years ago trolls like KR, shit-stirrers like SINthysist/AJ, and psychotics like Always were so disruptive and damaging that people were routinely driven away, some in tears, some shaking with fear for their physical safety, some with trust shattered, and part of that was because people reacted so strongly and mob-like against them. Today we make fun of them, make them dance for us, ridicule them, and they no longer have any bite. You will never, never get rid of them.

But ignoring them won't work, because there are always newbies who want to interact with them and old members who want to say "just one more thing", and yelling at them doesn't work because it just feeds their ego and gives them the impression that they're "the most notorious whatever". Ridiculing them is the only thing that works, and, despite the "daily conflicts" I can't think of one person in a year who hase been truly disturbed or firghtened or tearful over a troll.

So, see the "bickering" threads in that perspective, and you'll realize that Lit is a lot more fun, friendly, open, and safe now than it has ever been.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I came here because this is one of the few places in the cyberworld where I can be me, the whole me, and nothing but the me.

Shiny happy poster lands abound. I can hop off to few different boards just from the links in siglines/www and find the whole me to be unacceptable and parts of what I think to say are censored.

Why should I be in a place where only the good parts of me are acceptable? Why should I be in a place where I'm only allowed to show my happy face? Why should I be in a place that cares so little about me as a person, that they feel that parts of me should be removed in favor of making everything all shiny and happy?

I come here because I can be me. I can be the fun me, the sexy me, the happy me, the ridiculous me, the mad me, the wrong-headed me, the stubborn me, and the bitch me. Hiding the bad parts of me is just too two faced and underhanded. When you deal with me, you won't find anything hidden about it. What you see is what you get. You don't have to wait for the two year anniversary to discover that Muffie is bitchy, judgmental, hypocritical, and mean as well as funny, smart, loyal, sweet, and witty.

 

[Bluesboy2]

Thanks DCL and KM

2 points of view that I either overlooked or dont have the history to have comprehended. Mybe I am just naive but for me there is nothing anyone could do on this board to drive me to tears or drive me away. But I am prolly in the minority there.
KM, I like you. ALL of you. I like people that are real.
DCL I dont always agree with what you are saying, but I respect your right to voice what you believe. I just seldom want to argue here. There are very few people I would change on this board.
I wont forget my first day here. Many people went out of there way to make me feel welcome and gave me advice on how to get to know folks here. I guesss I just feel this place is special and I dont want it ruined over pettiness.

 

[Orwell84]

I came here originally because I liked to read the stories. I just started reading the boards and posting more recently. I found the Boards to be fun, and somewhat different from the run of the mill website. I'm hanging around for a variety of reasons, including to make new friends, distraction, because I like the frank open discussion, because I like the diversity, etc.

 

[nasty1]

Why I'm here

It sure's not to have sex with countless # of people, that's for sure.

 

[BigDawg69]

Because I love you guys . . .




















Can I have your Bud Light?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Re: Thanks DCL and KM

I just seldom want to aregue here.

Part of why there are so few real arguments is because people like PC and KM routinely ridicule the hell out of the fringe trouble-makers and make them as toothless as an old dog. We all used to scream at them, and they'd scream back, and everyone with a thin skin would go away and hide, and maybe never come back. I think PC and KM and others deserve support for helping to keep the board healthy and keep the racisct-spewing, ignorance-baiting fringe element in check with humor, grace, wit and better spelling. Don't bemoan the "bad feelings threads", see them as the stop-gap they are.

Believe me, I've held my hand out to more trolls than you can shake a cyber-stick at, and it doesn't work. I have an enormously thick skin, so I tend to go out of my way to make them notice me, and concentrate on me -- it's my way of deflecting them and making them waste their time, that way they don't bother the more gulliable or newer members, and I get an opportunity to sharpen my creative writing skills. Trolls are a good thing.

I'd rather do without the arguments, too, which is why I did my share of yelling. At one point I even advocating the practice of banning (for about a minute). But all of that just leads to more virulent fighting.

Diligent ridicule keeps the board balanced, and keeps the cyber universe in perspective, but it can be a tiny bit noisy from time to time.

We'll try to keep it down.

 

[nasty1]

Whoops...

Again I feel stupid because I didn't read BB's ENTIRE post. Anyway, why I came here was for stories, but, stayed for the people.

 

[glamorilla]

such altruism.

 

[Bluesboy2]

DCL

Once again your intelligence shows. I have learned a valuable lesson from this. As I am quite thick skinned I think I shall follow your example and make this my active part in making the boards a nicer place to play, that is if you dont mind the company.

 

[bknight2602]

I know I am here to make some friends and have some fun.
.....
I came here for comraderie and fun.
Why did you come here?

I came here for the fun and meeting new people. I don't pay a lot of attention to the bitch sessions or the one line zingers, tht is all part of the group, the good the bad and the ugly.
It is fun to interact with people and possibly to get to know them better.
Some of the threads deal with only what you are thinking for the next five minutes, some deal with more serious problems, but isn't it like the RW and your friends there. The only difference is that there is no person looking you in the eyes, but a computer screen. You can act out fantasies and situations because it is so much easier to deal with the impersonal part of a relationship.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

It's not altruism. It's a Christ-Complex. I'm Jesus, you're a sinner, and I love you.

Now sit at my right-hand and wash my feet, Hosanah in the highest.

 

[bluemuse]

Oh Jesus...