Who's up for a Limericks Contest?

[shereads]

I'd go first, but nothing rhymes with "I'm watching King of the Hill right now and can't be bothered."

 

[MagicaPractica]

I've never written a limerick and I see no point in starting now.

 

[john-the-author]

I'd go first, but nothing rhymes with "I'm watching King of the Hill right now and can't be bothered."

While SheReads watched "King of the Hill"
She demanded that we all keep still.
So some silly joker
Didn't bother or poke 'er
(As Litsters invariably will).

Um, yeah, kiddo, I am so up for this!

 

[jomar]

I like your thinking, but maybe Family Guy might be more rhymable.

 

[Anna_Malia75]

I'm here watching King of the Hill,
About Hank and his stupid friend Bill.
As a show it's all right,
but on my Sunday night,
It's the Simpsons that give me a thrill.

 

[Trombonus]

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose head once got caught in a bucket.
But try as he might
It just wasn't right.
So he quit and decided to fuck it.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

A sunday night lazy and slow
Is perfect to watch a good show
But with children about
The porn can't come out
And my wife still won't give me a go.

 

[Anna_Malia75]

A sunday night lazy and slow
Is perfect to watch a good show
But with children about
The porn can't come out
And my wife still won't give me a go.

Poor Salvor-Hardon's a mess;
His horniness he can't address.
His TV's G-rated
His libido unsated
And his wife won't relieve his distress.

 

[TE999]

You want to, but she won't
She wants to and you don't
So she watches the tube
And you put back the lube
And neither gets what they want.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Writing a limerick's not hard
Its better than those hallmark card
The really tough trick
for wits that are quick
Is making sure that the last line doesn't get off of the already established meter and more importantly rhyme with the first two lines.


DAMMIT!

 

[Guest]

I've fallen in love with a thread.
The power's gone straight to my head.
A sign generator
Makes me the creator
Of things much better left unsaid.



http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=548131

 

[john-the-author]

You want to, but she won't
She wants to and you don't
So she watches the tube
And you put back the lube
And neither gets what they want.

I'd normally feel empathetic
At a lack of excitements athletic
But today around 2,
We fucked ourselves blue,
So I'm just a wee bit apathetic.

 

[MagicaPractica]

*sigh* I'll give it a try.

I get lots of offers online
From a gentleman of design
But by accident or fate
We're not in the same place
So tonight I sit here and pine.

Not sure that quite worked.

 

[Anna_Malia75]

I'd normally feel empathetic
At a lack of excitements athletic
But today around 2,
We fucked ourselves blue,
So I'm just a wee bit apathetic.

John-the-author will now rub it in
That he's getting some afternoon sin.
We're so happy for you
as you're pitching your woo.
Now shut up. And wipe off that grin.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

*sigh* I'll give it a try.

I get lots of offers online
From a gentlemen of design
But by accident or fate
We're not in the same place
So tonight I sit here and pine.

Not sure that quite worked.

YOU DID IT!

Thats the important thing, work on polish later, just keep trying.

good job MP

 

[TE999]

*sigh* I'll give it a try.

I get lots of offers online
From a gentlemen of design
But by accident or fate
We're not in the same place
So tonight I sit here and pine.

Not sure that quite worked.

Magica's limerick will not fail
and others beside it will pale
because everyone sighs
at those beautiful eyes
'cause she's one sexy female.

That worked.

 

[john-the-author]

John-the-author will now rub it in
That he's getting some afternoon sin.
We're so happy for you
as you're pitching your woo.
Now shut up. And wipe off that grin.

Such a truly spectacular boff
Is plenty of reason to scoff
At the risk of being snider
If my grin were much wider,
I think that my head would fall off!

 

[TE999]

Such a truly spectacular boff
Is plenty of reason to scoff
At the risk of being snider
If my grin were much wider,
I think that my head would fall off!

John-the-author says he's no wussy
He says he gets lots of pussy
But we all know it's true
Once you say "I do"
Your mate becomes totally frosty.

 

[glynndah]

Sorry I can't write limericks

I never can make a rhyme
Although I’ve tried it time after time
I get just so far
Then my brain goes bizarre.
And I always end up with real slime.

 

[secretme]

No rest for the wicked tonight
Laundry and dishes a fright
Thought I'd pop in to lit
Give this new thread a tick
But short breaks are no good respite


*sigh*
But rhyming is fun!

 

[john-the-author]

John-the-author says he's no wussy
He says he gets lots of pussy
But we all know it's true
Once you say "I do"
Your mate becomes totally frosty.

I'll admit that, as TE surmises
My married sex life just comprises
A few quick romps in bed
(The Babe gives great head),
But this time, we could've won prizes!

 

[MagicaPractica]

Magica's limerick will not fail
and others beside it will pale
because everyone sighs
at those beautiful eyes
'cause she's one sexy female.

That worked.

Tom is so terribly kind
No fault I ever could find
Such a good friend
To all Litizens
MagicaPractica, signed.

 

[secretme]

Limericks are fun when they're dirty
But as hard as I try to be flirty
Words just ain't workin
And my brain's a hurtin'
How 'bout I just take off my shirty?

 

[TE999]

I'll admit that, as TE surmises
My married sex life just comprises
A few quick romps in bed
(The Babe gives great head),
But this time, we could've won prizes!

First married, you do it all night
While everything's stiff and tight
But after a few years
You only get some at New Years
All the other times, "Not tonight".

 

[shereads]

Limericks are fun when they're dirty
But as hard as I try to be flirty
Words just ain't workin
And my brain's a hurtin'
How 'bout I just take off my shirty?

Excellent. All but the Russian judges have given you a ten.