Who or what do you have faith in?

[sometimesIdo]

......

 

[silverwhisper]

sometimesido: miscarriages are a very, very difficult thing to live with. my sympathies and condolences to you and to your wife.

i am not a religious man, but have you already spoken w/ your pastor/reverend? perhaps that might bring you some measure of solace?

ed

 

[bobsgirl]

Recently my wife and I had another miscarriage. We have had several in the past few years. Coping with them gets no easier. Every time she gets pregnant, we are walking on eggshells the entire time in fear of her loosing the baby. It is an anxiety and fear I can't even begin to explain. The doctors say we are both healthy, but cannot explain why it continues to happen. When friends and family find out they all say they will pray for us or that we should look towards faith in such difficult times.

In a time when I should be looking towards faith I am turning away. I don't understand it's definition. I am a relatively good person. I try to give more than I take. Treat others as I wish to be treated....But if there is a god, how can they let things happen that do? How could God take a child away from its parents or let thousands of innocent children die everyday from hunger and curable diseases? Let good people suffer everyday from cancer, dispression, etc? Why should I look up to this higher power that is supposed to be there for me in my time of need? Faith...what is it?

If I have faith in anything, it is in my family. I have faith that every day when I get home from work that my little one will fill my heart by racing towards me and giving me a bear hug at the door...all my worries for the day stay on the other side of the door. I have faith that my wife can comfort me in a time of grief without saying a word.

What do you have faith in?

sometimesIdo, first of all, I am so sorry for the pain you and your wife have suffered.

There are just no answers to the questions you're asking, and I'm sure you know that. Different theologians will give you different answers, but the honest answer is, there is no answer. Very unfortunately, sometimes terrible things happen to good people. It's just a part of life. That, of course, doesn't lessen your pain. I wish I knew magic words that would help with that.

I happen to think having faith in the love of your family is wonderful. How can you not have faith when your little one comes running for a hug from Daddy? You are the biggest hero in that child's life. Keep believing in that.

Ed's suggestion of pastoral counseling is a good one. I wish you and your family the best in life.

 

[SweetErika]

I'm so sorry for your losses.

My mom had many miscarriages over a period of several years (though, like your wife, she was very healthy), and she recently passed on something her doctor had told her when she was going through that time: Miscarriages, while extremely difficult, are actually a blessing. They mean something's very wrong with the fetus, and if, by some chance, it survived pregnancy, it would likely be stillborn or suffer greatly in infancy.

I know that's not much comfort at the time, but hearing it has given me a new perspective. I can't think of much worse than a child suffering, or the pain of my child (which I consider to be about 5 months into the pregnancy) dying.

So, I like to think miscarriages are our bodies'/the spirit's/God's way of saving little ones and us from more suffering, and that seems to ease the pain a bit.

As for what I have faith in, I can say myself (though I have a habit of forgetting that frequently ), my husband, some family and friends, that every experience is an opportunity for growth, our actions are always repaid, the power of intent, love, and that everything works out the way it's meant to eventually.

Again, I'm very sorry for your pain, and hope you two will find peace, a successful pregnancy and happy, healthy child soon. Have faith that things will fall into place when it's meant to be.

 

[Onanymous]

.....

 

[thør]

sorry about the tough times you and your wife are going through.....

My faith, is in myself. That's the one entity that will do the right thing for me.

Some folks need a supportive network, and there are many out there to chose from.

 

[monique1971]

Sorry to interrupt the thread--

Onanymous, I tried to PM you, but you have them turned off. My apologies -- I did try to reach you.

sometimes i do:

I wish I had an answer, but I don't. I am sorry for what you are going through, though I know my sympathy can't be worth much in such trying times.

 

[Mazuri]

Faith...what is it?

What do you have faith in?

I won't give my definition of faith as it would really do no good. My definition will never be yours or anyone else's as faith is an internal belief.

As for what I have faith in? That we will all die eventually. For me, there isn't any omnipotent being watching over and sniggering over my failures, there isn't any heaven or hell, no afterlife or rebirth. We are born, we live, we die. The end. Beyond that, I have faith that the world is screwed up, life is 90% suffering and 10% apathy, and that, in the end, nothing we do will matter a whole hell of a lot to anyone else anyway.

I sympathize with your pain but cannot provide any flowery words or promise of a joyful hereafter. I simply don't believe in it. *shrugs* ymmv

 

[emptynester]

SometimesIdo - I am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I went through a couple of miscarriages when we were first married trying to start a family. I have a very strong faith and belief in God but I still questioned Him.

Unfortunately a lot of people want to blame God for all of the problems in this world. Like you said - they question how a loving God could take a child or allow suffering.

I don't believe that God is the one responsible for our pain and suffering. Man made that choice which is what brought sin into the world in the first place. God created a perfect world, but man (and woman) when given a free will went against the only thing God told them not to do.

When times are difficult for us or we hear of tragedies, we want to blame God. We never seem to praise Him, however when good things happen.

Without my faith in God (and believe me there is one) I would not have made it through a lot of circumstances in my life. The loss of my Dad and serious heart problems with our oldest son were true tests of my faith.

When your friends and family say they will pray for you, be thankful. God answers prayers for those who believe and have faith in Him.

My definition will never be yours or anyone else's as faith is an internal belief.

As for what I have faith in? That we will all die eventually. For me, there isn't any omnipotent being watching over and sniggering over my failures, there isn't any heaven or hell, no afterlife or rebirth. We are born, we live, we die.

Sorry Mazuri, but I can't agree. If we are just born, live and die, I would question my purpose for being on this earth and how I got here in the first place.

You are right about faith being an internal belief. Everyone has the choice to believe or not. I just can't comprehend not believing in a God who loves me and loves you. I believe there is a heaven and a hell. I believe we are all going to be in one place or the other. I just want to make sure that no one that I have an opportunity to share my beliefs with ends up in hell because I failed to tell him/her about God's love for them.

Life would seem so hopeless and meaningless to me without my faith. It gets me through those difficult times in life.

SometimesIdo, I will be praying for you and your family. I know that God answers prayers. He has throughout my life. I would encourage you to talk with someone within your family or friends that has told you they will pray for you. There is power in those prayers and comfort in a loving God.

 

[jerseyman1963]

I don't believe in God or other similar deities because I have seen too much turmoil and evil in this world, on the news and up close, to believe that if there were a God, he or she would allow any of it to happen.

For this reason I spent a good part of my early life looking out for danger, and being emotionally if not always physically on guard 24/7. Yet the older I get, the more I also realize how much goodness there also is in this life and this world.

For this reason I have faith in the essential goodness of mankind, corny as that sounds.

For every self centered schnook, and for every bad, evil and unredeeming person, there is at least another person who gives freely of themselves and their time to make things better. From cops, firemen, social workers, nurses, teachers and others working for low wages, to volunteers working in soup kitchens or raising funds to make our schools and communities better for no wages, to family and best friends who I've learned are there and available with a shoulder to lean on, or a hand up if it is needed, there's an awful lot of good in the world if you open up and look for it.

I have faith that if I open up and reach out, although some will slap me back down with malicious intent, others will return the good will and love in spades.

There will always be bad and evil, and there will always be good times and bad times, but there's enough good if you reach out for it when you need it, and pass it on to other who need it when you've got it.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Wow

There may not be enough bandwidth to hold all that has been written about faith, what, and how to believe. I do believe in something, however, altho' I choose not to label it.

I can say that I believe that humans will act in self-interest almost every single time. I do not believe that they are "basically good".

For example: you walk out of a store and notice that your car has been hit while parked in the lot. Are you surprised when you find a note under the wiper?

 

[Frank Noir]

There may not be enough bandwidth to hold all that has been written about faith, what, and how to believe. I do believe in something, however, altho' I choose not to label it.

I can say that I believe that humans will act in self-interest almost every single time. I do not believe that they are "basically good".

I see myself as a cynic - but I actually don't believe that "we are evil". If we were, we wouldn't be here anymore. Self-interest, sure - but that usually includes the preservation of the species.

 

[Frank Noir]

What do you have faith in?

Impermanence. "This too shall pass"

 

[Bluesboy2]

Recently my wife and I had another miscarriage. We have had several in the past few years. Coping with them gets no easier. Every time she gets pregnant, we are walking on eggshells the entire time in fear of her loosing the baby. It is an anxiety and fear I can't even begin to explain. The doctors say we are both healthy, but cannot explain why it continues to happen. When friends and family find out they all say they will pray for us or that we should look towards faith in such difficult times.

In a time when I should be looking towards faith I am turning away. I don't understand it's definition. I am a relatively good person. I try to give more than I take. Treat others as I wish to be treated....But if there is a god, how can they let things happen that do? How could God take a child away from its parents or let thousands of innocent children die everyday from hunger and curable diseases? Let good people suffer everyday from cancer, dispression, etc? Why should I look up to this higher power that is supposed to be there for me in my time of need? Faith...what is it?

If I have faith in anything, it is in my family. I have faith that every day when I get home from work that my little one will fill my heart by racing towards me and giving me a bear hug at the door...all my worries for the day stay on the other side of the door. I have faith that my wife can comfort me in a time of grief without saying a word.

What do you have faith in?

Lately, I have the unmost faith that certain people at Lit will be as fuckheaded as they possibly can, and I am never disappointed.

 

[ShinigamiSama]

I have faith in death - in that it chooses as best as it can

if she had a miscarriage - like Erika said, something was wrong with the fetus.

I feel for you, my mother just managed to have me, with all the cysts and other womanly things of the like.

I wouldn't fret too much, at the least you may be able to find a surrogate or adopt if worse comes to worse.

Good luck