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In life situations, he is the one who takes charge and even when the odds are against him he remains calm and stays in charge.
So if a dominant male like to have his butt spankes, or fucked, that means he is no Dom? Even if he always directs whatever happens?Jeremy Davis said:When it comes to BDSM the Male Dom is always in control and while dishing out a spanking, a whipping or binding a submissive however he wishes, he is responcible for their safety and takes great measures to make sure that both his submissive and he get what they want out of the session.
chris9 said:So if a dominant male like to have his butt spankes, or fucked, that means he is no Dom? Even if he always directs whatever happens?
chris9 said:So if a dominant male like to have his butt spankes, or fucked, that means he is no Dom? Even if he always directs whatever happens?
Netzach said:Ha, not in my observation. Sometimes a male dom or a female dom when in danger or in doubt will run in circles scream and shout. And some subs display the above aplomb in the face of uncertainty.
Stuponfucious said:Just because someone says they have a dominant or submissive personality doesn't mean they do. I can't see any way that a dominant person would be prone to panic.
How is he submissive telling his partner to spank him until he says enough, or if he orders his partner to fuck his ass with a strap-on? What you are saying is it's the actions that make a Dominant, with which I don't agree.Jeremy Davis said:It means he is a "switch" meaning that he likes to be both dominate and submissive depending on the partner he is with.
How is he submissive telling his partner to spank him until he says enough, or if he orders his partner to fuck his ass with a strap-on? What you are saying is it's the actions that make a Dominant, with which I don't agree.
riverofshudder said:I've never panicked with one of my submissives within a scene, even in some of the more sketchy/dangerous times. It's not in my nature to but my feeling is if i did panic, while I was supposed to be watching out for this other person's safety that I'd void any trust in that fact I had. As a sub I'd never trust a Dom who panicked with me and put me at risk. There are no second chances when it comes to safety.
Netzach said:I'm not talking about in a scene. I'm talking about how people react when emotional shit hits the fan in which case I've seen very stoic and capable people turn totally useless.
Example in recent memory, a well-respected Dom, a paragon of self-control and control who was nowhere to be seen while his bottom's shoulder had dislocated (seemed to have popped out from her moving a certain way, no bondage or fault of his) he went to make calls, but essentially left the business of calming her down to other people.
Yeah you get points for first-aid protocol there, but you don't get any "being a mensch" points from me. Everyone has a cell, have someone hand you one so you can physically be around.
CharleyH said:.... What IS a male Dom? How does he define himself?
riverofshudder said:I'm dominant, in the context of BDSM obviously, but in my day to day (professional) life I am not as dominant. I tend to like things done my way but if they aren't I can deal. More often then not when I present my plan for something or directions 90% of the time I win...due mostly to the clear thinking and logic. I don't force anything and if you don't like my way use someone else's idea, fine. That would never happen in my BDSM side, it's my way or nothing.
As for panic. I rarely panic, but when I do you better watch out because it's ugly. I tend to get even calmer under stressful situations and can focus even more so. I won't overtly take charge of things but again I will present my plan and those who want to follow can, those who don't great...good luck.
I tend to be very Stoic and self-assured to the point of some thinking I am arrogant (which I am not). I have my views and can form a plan for execute something and am confident in my abilities. If you don't agree with me, more power to you, I won't force the issue given i could care less.
I've never panicked with one of my submissives within a scene, even in some of the more sketchy/dangerous times. It's not in my nature to but my feeling is if i did panic, while I was supposed to be watching out for this other person's safety that I'd void any trust in that fact I had. As a sub I'd never trust a Dom who panicked with me and put me at risk. There are no second chances when it comes to safety.
Ka-ching.Evil_Geoff said:What's a male Dominant? I am. (My partner) knows that and acknowledges that, and has surrendered ... to me. How anyone else defines the role is irrelevant.
ToT ... do you go "Nee, Ping, and Nee-womm" as well? Is it an expensive shrubbery? Do you happen to have tree cutting herring for the mightiest in the forest?Evil_Geoff said:... trim the shrubbery around the house.
AngelicAssassin said:Ka-ching.ToT ... do you go "Nee, Ping, and Nee-womm" as well? Is it an expensive shrubbery? Do you happen to have tree cutting herring for the mightiest in the forest?
CharleyH said:I have asked this question in the guise of what a Domme is, but never got much of an answer. What IS a male Dom? How does he define himself?
FurryFury said:*Is very lost*
Fury![]()
riverofshudder said:As a Dom I've had a sub pass-out due to my actions (breath play years ago), I've had a few have massive panic/anxiety attacks, numb limbs from bondage (that didn't quickly return to feeling), and a dislocated shoulder (badly) due to some suspension bondage (and her not telling me she had shoulder issues. I've been to the emergency room with a sub and have had to have some awkward conversations. I've dealt with them calmly and very logically...
In my real life...let's just say I'm a New Yorker who was less than a block away from the WTC that day. From that point on I will never ever doubt myself in a stressful and scary situation. The blackout we had in the Northeast a few years back also aided in my confidence too.
Given some of the sports I do (snowboarding, cycling, hiking) I've been in equally sketchy situations as well. I find having to deal with pressures and life/death situations brings out the best in me. It's all about focus.
I'm not saying any of these to be a tough guy, more to illustrate some of the things I experienced which have helped me be confident in my abilities to handle pressure.
I can think of a handful of times, mostly when I was much younger, when I panicked. Though those few cases were more of a survival instinct type thing kicking in....like a cornered animal with no option but to fight it's way out....