Which Story Line Option is Best?

[EroticKeys]

Hello everyone,

I'm looking for suggestions regarding storyline.
The first four chapters of my first story are now complete in chronological order.
Now I have to make a decision.

Here is the plot:
Chapters 1 - 2 -- Basic descriptive intro to both main characters and storyline, girl is treated by paramedic, other treatment continues in hospital (sexual tension increases).

Chapters 3 - 4 -- She thanks paramedic with a dinner and then have their first sexual encounter.

Chapters 5 - 6 -- The sexual fun continues.

Question -- Do I keep the story as is... or reverse chapters 3-4 and 1-2 making a "memory flash-back?"
A) There is a natural and gradual build up of sexual tension and development of the story with chronological chapters 1-2 that may not hook readers looking for plenty of HOT parts at the beginning.
B) If reversed, there would be a dip in the level of sexual tension/activity in the story line which may cause readers not to finish the story.

Thanks for any assistance.

 

[meathead96]

Hello everyone,

I'm looking for suggestions regarding storyline.
The first four chapters of my first story are now complete in chronological order.
Now I have to make a decision.

Here is the plot:
Chapters 1 - 2 -- Basic descriptive intro to both main characters and storyline, girl is treated by paramedic, other treatment continues in hospital (sexual tension increases).

Chapters 3 - 4 -- She thanks paramedic with a dinner and then have their first sexual encounter.

Chapters 5 - 6 -- The sexual fun continues.

Question -- Do I keep the story as is... or reverse chapters 3-4 and 1-2 making a "memory flash-back?"
A) There is a natural and gradual build up of sexual tension and development of the story with chronological chapters 1-2 that may not hook readers looking for plenty of HOT parts at the beginning.
B) If reversed, there would be a dip in the level of sexual tension/activity in the story line which may cause readers not to finish the story.

Thanks for any assistance.

I like the way it sounds as is. The level of sex in my stories are varied, depending on where the storyline is at the moment. I try to think about the story, and the flow, with the sex being the icing on the cake.
JMHO

 

[sr71plt]

What is currently most acceptable is to start with action and filter in background material in small doses where they naturally fit and are the least obtrusive and most easily digestible--not mentioned until the characters are already becoming someone for the reader.

If you sent this to your agent (already having one on the strength of earlier publishing), she'd probably say the story doesn't start until your chapter three. Barring earlier published work, no one really would give much advice on anything this sketchy.

And, where's the ending, the resolution, the twist to the story--what makes it a story rather than just a string of sexual-encounter vignettes?

 

[bronzeage]

Anytime you need a sex scene, but the plot does not have any available characters, do a masturbation scene. Your character can fantasize about anything and anybody. You can use it to express lust, frustration, anger, or whatever you need. Unlike real life, masturbation in a story never relieves sexual tension.

 

[CopperSkink]

I've read many wonderful stories that didn't have any sex for a good ten thousand words or more, and the payoff was magnificent. I've also read stories where the sex began right away with past allusions now and then. In the latter, there wasn't so much of a connection for me to the bebedded, which made the sex lose strength.

If the sex is fantastic and can stand alone without the background, go go gadget sex. If the story is the cornerstone, start from the beginning.

 

[sr71plt]

By "action" I didn't necessarily mean "sex."

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Uhm, I believe, oh master editor, that the period of your last belongs "outside" of the quote.

Just saying you're slipping, lol. Maybe you're starting to get, ahem, passionate? lol

Or maybe I'm off-base and you'll let me know in so many words. Time will tell.

 

[sr71plt]

Uhm, I believe, oh master editor, that the period of your last belongs "outside" of the quote.

Umm, no. Not in the American system. There's virtually no instance where the period goes outside the final quote marks in the American system. (Chicago Manual of Style, 6.8. And see the examples in 7.62). If you think otherwise and can find support in CMS, by all means cite it.

On this point, the American system is simple; the British system is more difficult.

 

[EroticKeys]

Hello folks,
Thank you for the replies so far. I appreciate the input, suggestions, advice and support.

I've always understood the need for a good introduction for both characters and story line. A "hook" of some type -- action, death, mystery, treasure map, clue, etc. -- is required to grab the interest of the audience. (Some of Tom Clancy's novels of 1,000+ pages use the first 300 pages (5-6 chapters) just to introduce the characters, storyline and the background -- so hopefully 20 pages for my short story seems reasonable.) Then build on that introduction to the conclusion through various twists or other smaller actions along the way. Flashbacks work to help orient the reader to character background and story line.

meathead96 -- Thank you for your comments. I found the chronological story line easier to write. The question is -- is it also the easiest to read and understand without being boring?

sr71plt -- Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I'm not an experience writer, so to attempt to effectively and smoothly integrate numerous flashbacks/background information is a limiting factor. I realize the first "sexual action" isn't until chapter 3. I wanted to properly introduce the characters and a good background story line -- hook the reader with some kind of substance -- other than raw sex in the first ten sentences. As to the ending, my story line has nine chapters, and a conclusion in my two page story outline. I'm just wondering how many writers here in Literotic have spent the time and effort to compile a two page story outline before they started writing more than the title?

bronzeage -- Thank you for your insight. The suggestion about masturbation is well taken - thanks. I have 4 masturbation scenes (in brackets) in the story line and all relate to parts of the story. The (in brackets) means they can be included, or left out, without harming the story line. Presently, I feel my story is too long and I'm planning not to include them. However, the outline information for them is written down for use if I need it.

CopperSkink -- Thank you for your comments. I've tried to create a story that has some substance -- other than sex. Time will tell through readership. Yes, interrupting the story for flashbacks can reduce the natural flow of the story and the concentration of the reader and that's exactly what I don't want. Hopefully, I'll make the best decision for the story line from all these great suggestions.

sr71plt -- Thanks again for your input. I hope the story has plenty of action. I think the "hook" will "snag" many readers. And hopefully, the twists and other action in the story line are sufficient to keep that interest.

AsylumSeeker -- Thank you for taking the time to enter this thread and read the posts. I appreciate your effort.

 

[sr71plt]

I wouldn't pattern anything after what Tom Clancy did in writing after his second book (both of which where virtually written for him by someone else). (And I say that in having edited Tom Clancy--or tried to.)

 

[CopperSkink]

I only write my outlines after the first ten thousand words or more when I have more about the story actual in my head than I do on paper.

My biggest concern is that you're considering giving your audience sex without much buildup, which is an acceptable lifestyle choice, then retroactively spend two or three chapters having them meet. What's the use? What need-to-know fat mayonase of information is in there that the audience would read the backstory after already getting sex?

 

[EroticKeys]

Hello Folks,

CopperSkink -- Thanks for your further comments. Your point is well taken. Like a corporate financial curve, most want to see it continue to rise, not dip down significantly.

I'd Like to thank those who responded to my question. I've decided to keep the story as is with a buildup of character data and background information, increasing the sexual activities as the story continues. Maybe after 5-6 more stories, I'll have the ability to smoothly integrate background information throughout the story. Again thanks for everyone's assistance.