Which Item, Found In A Car, WOuld Bother You The Most?

[Dillinger]

Which Item, Found In A Car, Would Bother You The Most?

Just for fun - say you found one of these items in your:

Lover's Car
Husband's Car
Wife's Car
Best Friends Car...

Pick one of the above and...

Which item, if found, would bothe ryou the most?

 

[Silverluna]

the dashboard jesus...its just so tacky....tacky tacky tacky!!!

 

[Linedrive]

Definately the condom, as we do not use them.


But...the dashboard Jesus would be a cause for concern

 

[peachykeen]

We're city people. We don't have cars. But I don't think anything on the above list would bother me too much. Surely the dashboard jesus would just be there for the postmodern irony of it all, right?

 

[Shadowann2]

The condom...If it was used. Unopened is ok.

 

[Pagliacci]

the dashboard jesus...its just so tacky....tacky tacky tacky!!!

"I don't care if it rain or freezes as long as I got my plastic Jesus strapped onto the dashboard of my car" Can't remember who made the song but it always brings a smile to my lips.

 

[mbb308]

A God-damned dope syringe!!!! Used! With baggie and aluminum foil!

Found one in my bathroom once - went from two dwellers to one that day, too.

 

[Monazwx]

It's so weird.
I'd be less surprised to see a hashpipe or condom than a dashboard Jesus.

 

[FallenSeraph]

*shivers*
Dashboard Jesus...It just stares at you, its piercing eyes looking at you while you drive...while you pass a yellow light...while you check out chicks in other cars...creeepy...

 

[Shiner]

A dead body

 

[Shiner]

"I don't care if it rain or freezes as long as I got my plastic Jesus strapped onto the dashboard of my car" Can't remember who made the song but it always brings a smile to my lips.

You don't happen to know who sang that song do you ?

 

[ridddder]

I worked for a car wash for most summers while in highschool, so I know what kind of things are very icky to find under a seat that you just don't wanna touch. The top 5 are:

5) Old partially eatten, or never opened food
(most times mashed into the carpet, with or without maggots)

4) Used tissues, baby wipes, or napkins

3) Used condoms, or feminine hygiene products

2) Dentures, or anything having to do with teeth

1) Bodily fluids(ie, blood, vomit, piss, or shit)

I think baby spitup is equally as revolting...

Did I turn anyone's stomach....sorry

 

[celiaKitten]

Definately the condom, as we do not use them.


But...the dashboard Jesus would be a cause for concern

My answer exactly.

 

[Dillinger]

You don't happen to know who sang that song do you ?

Paul Newman in "Cool Hand Luke" (It's an old Gospel tune).

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

{Refrain}
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you're travelling far

{Refrain}

I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car

{Refrain}

You can buy a Sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

{Refrain}

I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car

{Refrain}

No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar

{Refrain}

Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par

When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

God made Christ a Holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car
Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan

Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van

When I'm goin' fornicatin
I got my ceramic Satan
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
The women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil
Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home
Leering from the dashboard of my van

If I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

 

[Pagliacci]

You don't happen to know who sang that song do you ?

Unfortunately no.
I'll check around and return with the results.It's a spoof song though sung in C&W style if I remember correctly.

(Edtied to say)

Dillinger beat me to the lyrics and where it was from.

 

[celiaKitten]

"I don't care if it rain or freezes as long as I got my plastic Jesus strapped onto the dashboard of my car" Can't remember who made the song but it always brings a smile to my lips.

or try clicking this, too..

http://www.honzman.com/sounds.htm

 

[christophe]

prolly a condom...especially if had been used!

 

[Pagliacci]

or try clicking this, too..

http://www.honzman.com/sounds.htm

Thanks Celia.

Now that settles it I'll have to mail order a Dashboard Jesus from somewhere.

 

[Shiner]

or try clicking this, too..

http://www.honzman.com/sounds.htm

Thank you thats a good one, the one I remember was the C&W version and it always brings a smile to my face

 

[sheath]

I once went out on a blind date with a guy who had a dashboard Jesus in his car. He was the creepiest guy I ever met. I did the best acting job of a sudden attack of the flu that you have ever seen in your life and I avoided him after that.

Guess where he wound up?

He's in the KY state pen for murdering his girlfriend.

Go figure.

S.

 

[The Heretic]

Re: Which Item, Found In A Car, Would Bother You The Most?

Just for fun - say you found one of these items in your:

Lover's Car
Husband's Car
Wife's Car
Best Friends Car...

Pick one of the above and...

Which item, if found, would bothe ryou the most?

Of the items listed, the hash pipe would bother me the most if it was in any car I rode in - I do not want to be some Bubba's bitch in prison.

I voted "other" though since beyond the prospect of being busted those things wouldn't really bother me that much - although I would not want a lover/SO to be smoking hash.

Things that would bother me greatly would be things like illicit drugs, severed body parts, child porn, something that would infer my lover was being unfaithful to me, anything that would lead me to believe they were engaging in some illegal.