which are you?

[graceanne]

I'm a sub.

Why? Dunno, cause being submissive just comes naturally. Plus, when I'm the dominant one in the relationship I get royally bored. I don't respect a guy unless he AT LEAST has as strong a will as me.

How long? Most of my life. As a child I took care of my sister, so my mom wouldn't have to. As a teen I took care of my other sister, so that my mom wouldn't have to. I've always tried to make other people's lives easier. Probably why I get sick. Even now, I babysit for cheaper than I should, to help out my sister. And so that her kids, who I love, will have some stability in their lives.

 

[witcha]

I'm a sub.

Why? Feels...somewhat safe and tho I can feel this way only with certain people when it happens it's soo very natural it's even hard for me to undersatnd

How long? Prolly for longer than I ever noticed it..lol..but as for actually persuing it fully consensually and all...a lil more than a year

 

[s'lara]

Masochistic submissive.

The question "why" would indicate i had a choice in my nature. i don't. If i could choose not to be this way, i wouldn't have any problems asserting myself in situations which call for aggression/dominance. A simple answer to the question is: i am this way because nothing else feels like me.

i guess the realization question is so commonplace now, that it feels like its part of a census survey ... *smiles* The teens is an accurate starting point i guess.

And what about you bg23? Where do find yourself in this culture? Please note it's not important to fit into one category, i am just curious. Questions like these tend to indicate that the inquiring person is coming to some realizations about himself/herself in regard to BDSM, D/s, S/M, etc.

lara

 

[bg23]

thanks for the responses everyone
they've been most interesting, and thought provoking.

hey lily...i'd never have guessed.

bridgeburner...i find myself completely confused as to your sex. i was always under the impression you were a guy. (which you still might be. just bi.) but if i could get some clarification (simply for the sake of my own irritating curiousity) it would be great.

s'lara, i'm submissive. i've known for quite some time. i can switch, on occasion, but rarely do, because submission is simply what i like best. my answer is probably going to echo most of what everyone else said.

 

[Silverlily]

hey lily...i'd never have guessed.

Then you, little one, ought to pay closer attention.

 

[MintSoda]

I'm peculiar. With men, including my fiance, I'm adament about things being equal. I have no desire to control or be controlled in a male/female setting. With women I am extremely submissive, but a good mistress is so hard to find.

 

[TaintedB]

A slave. I have submissive feelings, obviously, but it's not what I identify as.

 

[bridgeburner]

I'm a girl!!! I'm a girl!!! I swear it.

I'm going to have to start putting up AV's of my tits or something.



-B

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I'm a girl!!! I'm a girl!!! I swear it.

I'm going to have to start putting up AV's of my tits or something.



-B

*looks up*

ok..get to the tit pic taking....

 

[esclave_PP]

Slave -- see my sig.

Dabbled at domming women...not really my thing.

Started at 5 -- really. My grandfather decided to use me...so learned fast and hard...

Realized and gave in at 16 that I am a submissive personality. I enjoy being on the bottom. Particularly with a sadist as I am a masochist.

 

[PhoenixPrime01]

PhoenixPrime

I'm a Dominant and have always been one.

My earliest recollections of being "into the lifestyle" I was totally unaware even existed was playing as a young boy, 6-7, and always being the one who tied up the 'damsels in distress'. (BTW, Cowboys and Indians was still a PC game way back then. *L*)

It wasn't until I was in high school and a particular girl friend asked me to spank her as we explored each other very throughly and intimately and another time asked me to tie her up so she was helpless to help her live out some of her fantasies that the reason I liked tieing up those little girls became clear to me.

Psych testing in the military and during a college class indicated I was an Alpha personality type so I surmise that's the reason for my being a Dominant, a Master since before the internet existed, way back when all was buried deep, deep underground and finding a partner to fit into a persons wants and needs was strictly a matter of luck, especially in the deep South and its Bible Belt mentality and often hypocritical morality.

Gods, if only the 'Net had existed when I was most of your ages. How it would have changed my life. However, even though "long in the tooth" and Old and Venerable now, at least it's here for all of you.. us to enjoy and to enable us to find those with like minds to chat with, ask questions and enjoy.

The rant and ramble cums *g* to a sputtering end,
PP

Well except for this PS that is:

I don't think being Dominant or submissive is a matter of choice it's just what you are. Environment when growing up may influence that, but I think it's just basic personality... either you're an Alpha or you're a beta personality type.
Also I, personally, have found that women, begin straight can't speak for male, submissives who are assertive, intelligent and have a strong self image in the "vanilla" world, but are submissive in interpersonal relationships generally make world class submissives and slaves, but that's just been my experience and is my humble opinion.

 

[Guest]

I'm a sub.

Why? Feels...somewhat safe and tho I can feel this way only with certain people when it happens it's soo very natural it's even hard for me to undersatnd

How long? Prolly for longer than I ever noticed it..lol..but as for actually persuing it fully consensually and all...a lil more than a year

Only "somewhat"???? Too bad.. That was always one of the things I thought to be terribly important.

I supposen it would be slightly redundant at this point to say I'm a Dom.. Though I prefer the designation of "Master". The distinction?? That I am concerned with my relationship with one sub/switch..
How long.. Damned if I know... I remember spanking my high school girlfriend..ANd both of us enjoying it a great deal..

 

[slave C]

Only "somewhat"???? Too bad.. That was always one of the things I thought to be terribly important.

I supposen it would be slightly redundant at this point to say I'm a Dom.. Though I prefer the designation of "Master". The distinction?? That I am concerned with my relationship with one sub/switch..
How long.. Damned if I know... I remember spanking my high school girlfriend..ANd both of us enjoying it a great deal..

Wonder how much a plane ticket is to the South Pole ????? he he he very submisively slave c

 

[seaMaster]

I am a Dom

I guess this is a good place to say hello to everyone, and introduce myself. I have only discovered the joy of dominance three years ago but can remember having the desire to control and having more than one woman at an early age, I just did not know how to go about getting my way. *smile* I know now. slave C and I have been together for 20 years but we only discovered what was missing from our relationship 3 years ago. C helped me find myself and learn what I needed to give her to make her happy. She is so much more alive today than anytime in our lives together. I to have found more to live for. I guess I dont need to intro myself as slace C's Master do I *chuckling* She is truly a natural sub and very good at it.
Oh the wasted years of our life. One last thing I wish to thank all the Dom's that have offered to help me Dominate C but I think I can handle it on my own now.

 

[rakastuja]

I wouldnt say Im "sub" because it gives an idea of taking certain role in BDSM... I do have very submissive fantasies and preferences though.

I think I have been like that as long as I remember - it has something do with my personality (and problems). I have felt dominant moments too and sometimes I tend to very dominant (mostly not intentionally). But most of time I feel more comfortable fantasizing about submission.

So I dont really like to put myself strictly into one category - Im just me.

 

[YinandYang]

Masochistic submissive.

 

[!bear66]

Dom

realized about 6 mo's ago

still learning .. abzorbing it all ...

 

[DVS]

Dom. Have known it (or at least known what I like, if not known what it was or why it was) since the age of about 10. A very nice neighbor girl and I experimented together. Ah, the memories.

Why? Like someone else has said, did I have a choice? It's like being gay. You just have that role to play, to be happy. Sure, you can be straight, or vanilla, but would you be happy?

I have always LOVED to tie women up and make them squirm. Dominating their bodies is not enough, though. I love tormenting their minds, too. The smarter the woman, and the more opinionated she is, the better. I love those who say I can't get them to submit. The strong willed. I eventually win.

Speaking of the strong willed, there is nothing that says you must be submissive in your whole life to be a submissive, sexually. Many strong women are very submissive sexually. As are many men. Being strong in part of their life tends to make some crave for something different in another part of their life. I don't know what the ratio would be, but it's true.

Even I'm not very Dom, in all of my life. Only my sexual self is very Dom. The rest of me is kind of a nice guy, jokester type. But, I can be dominant if I want. I know any job I have, I feel the need to be a boss. I hate working for someone who thinks he's better than me. Usually, he isn't. (IMHO)

I had a sub recently who was VERY smart. She graduated high school at 16, and college at 19. She is not submissive in her whole personality. But, sexually, she is VERY submissive....and lots of fun!!!!

Many who are very high up on the corporate ladder by day love to be submitting at the feet of someone by night. Intelligence has a lot to do with it, too. It seems the smarter you are, the more involved your sex life must be. You need something intelligent sexually, to equal out your life.

So, I guess there are some who come here who could say they are among the more intelligent of the human race. The smarter you are, maybe the more kinky you are, to make your life equal. Everything relates to everything else and to be whole, some of us need to have things equal.

But, I digress...

I'm a Dom. Have been for years and years. And, I am because I could be no other way.

I mean, geez, you can't take me to the mall. I do nothing but walk around and look at sexy women's asses. I almost follow them around, waiting for them to bend over. The whole time, I'm thinking of how much fun it would be to have my way with her. Some people lurk here at Lit...I do it at a mall. God, it's hopeless!

 

[Wednesday'sRose]

Wonder how much a plane ticket is to the South Pole ????? he he he very submisively slave c

Good luck on that plane ticket. I haven't found a way to get one without working there yet. If you find a way, let me know. I do know that from here to NZ is at least $1500 for a round trip.

 

[bg23]

I have always LOVED to tie women up and make them squirm. Dominating their bodies is not enough, though. I love tormenting their minds, too. The smarter the woman, and the more opinionated she is, the better. I love those who say I can't get them to submit. The strong willed. I eventually win.

*smile*
the confidence is sexy.
but do you always eventually win?
just out of curiousity, this is.

Speaking of the strong willed, there is nothing that says you must be submissive in your whole life to be a submissive, sexually. Many strong women are very submissive sexually. As are many men. Being strong in part of their life tends to make some crave for something different in another part of their life. I don't know what the ratio would be, but it's true.

Even I'm not very Dom, in all of my life. Only my sexual self is very Dom. The rest of me is kind of a nice guy, jokester type. But, I can be dominant if I want. I know any job I have, I feel the need to be a boss. I hate working for someone who thinks he's better than me. Usually, he isn't. (IMHO)

I had a sub recently who was VERY smart. She graduated high school at 16, and college at 19. She is not submissive in her whole personality. But, sexually, she is VERY submissive....and lots of fun!!!!

Many who are very high up on the corporate ladder by day love to be submitting at the feet of someone by night. Intelligence has a lot to do with it, too. It seems the smarter you are, the more involved your sex life must be. You need something intelligent sexually, to equal out your life.[/quote]

i would argue that it's not intelligence - (how can sex be intelligent?) - but control. those of us who have a great deal of control outside the bedroom - those who are intellectually gifted and therefore generally in higher positions, etc, will generally like to relinquish control inside the bedroom to somebody else. in a way, i believe it has much to do with what witcha mentioned - the safety of placing responsibility in somebody else's hands. but there are reasons other than that.

 

[hazel43]

I am a msochist, but rarely submissive.
I was always aroused when watching whippings on TV during the 70's. I especially remember the beginning of the TV show branded. "What do you do when your branded, and you know you're a man?" And, during one episode of Big Valley the mom was in a prison camp for some reason where she was whipped.

 

[PhoenixPrime01]

And, Hazel, scenes in some of the B movies too. *G

 

[DVS]

*smile*
the confidence is sexy.
but do you always eventually win?
just out of curiousity, this is.

OK, that was a loaded statement, on my part. I've never really had someone who was truly AGAINST me making her submit. I have had those who are curious and argumentative that I can accomplish what I say, and yes, they do tend to agree with me, after a while. Of course, I use their body against them (caressing sensitive areas and saying nasty things into their ears), and deny their sexual satisfaction until they see things my way. That's a very strong ally on my side, and it works. But, like I said, I don't just pick someone off the street and try to change their opinion about things.

i would argue that it's not intelligence - (how can sex be intelligent?) - but control. those of us who have a great deal of control outside the bedroom - those who are intellectually gifted and therefore generally in higher positions, etc, will generally like to relinquish control inside the bedroom to somebody else. in a way, i believe it has much to do with what witcha mentioned - the safety of placing responsibility in somebody else's hands. but there are reasons other than that.

I agree that maybe I shouldn't have said intelligence as the true reason. It just seems intelligence is most always present. But, yes, it's more likely they're relinquishing control of their sexual satisfaction to another.

As for sex being intelligent, I don't think sex itself is intelligent, but I think the more stress someone has in their daily life, the kinkier their sex life can be. The degree of power from one part of their life seems to require that equal counter balance from another part. This is also not the only factor deciding someone's kinky behavior. I know some are just plain kinky from the start. Me, for instance.

I think the reason I considered it intelligence was because the friend I had, who was very smart, had a very high corporate position at one time. But, at the time I met her she had been retired from it, for quite a few years. I didn't see the need for a power exchange in her life being a result of control. Maybe, once the desire is there, it’s there to stay? I guess there are exceptions to everything.

 

[sophia jane]

I'm a sub. The feelings and fantasies have been there for years, but I've only just named them in the last few months. It's been a wonderfully enlightening experience. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten to have a RL relationship with a Dom yet.

SJ

 

[Stefani]

I'm a sub, and have been to both men and women. Have been a Dom with some women, but never felt comfortable in the role.

When I was in my early 20's I was involved with a Dominatrix that was twice my age. When I first met Her she told me i was a sub. I didn't believe Her, and tried to argue the point. When we get back to her house, She told me she could prove i was submissive. I said, go ahead, prove it. She responded, "Take off all your clothes right now." Which I did in a matter of seconds. Point proven.