Where Should This Go?

[Erlikkhan]

Looking for some advice on a "Loving Wives" story. I'm sure I'll get many "up your ass" and in the trash" replies, which are always welcome. I have the first two paragraphs of a story but don't know what direction to take it next.

"My wife, Joanne, is 105 pounds of pure sex poured into a 5’2” frame. Her tits stretch the limits of the T-shirts and halters she wears yet are firm enough to hold their shape nicely when she goes braless, which is most of the time. She has a small waist and full hips with strong but shapely thighs and an ass to die for. In a pair of tight shorts and a low cut halter Joanne is a walking wet dream.

It is not just her body that is sexy. She has curly blond hair that falls down over her shoulders, green eyes with long lashes, high cheekbones, full lips, white teeth and a small upturned nose. She loves to flirt and has a natural “I want to fuck” look in her eyes. Guys are constantly hitting on her. She eats up the attention."

Here are some possibilities for the opening of the next paragraph

1. I first met Joanne in the office right after college. She worked in the supply room.
2. I lost my job just after buying a new house. We were desperate for money.
3. Most of my friends are single and drool over Joanne when they come by the house to play cards.
4. Joanne is an exhibitionist at heart and loves to show off her goodies in public.
5. I became suspicious when Joanne stayed late at the office on a regular basis.
6. One day I found a pair of cum stained panties in her laundry and knew it was not from me.

Maybe they all work and I could write "A Sexual Anthology of Joanne". Any thoughts or other ideas?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Come on! You don't have the beginning of a story. You've got a description of a character. Really, you're the one who has to decide what the story's going to be about, otherwise it's not even your story, it's ours. It's like one of those games where everyone writes one line.

It's like writing, "It was a dark and stormy night," and then asking people for advice on what should happen next.

--Zoot

 

[cantdog]

I dislike stories to begin with a sexual anthology, anyway. Take the reader into the action, and work only the history which appears to be important to that action into the story in bits, as necessary. Who needs paragraphs and paragraphs of set-up at the beginning of a damn short? What the fuck? And most of it is irrelevant, in the end, anyway.

Sorry, Erlik, I'm spouting off, here. It really does bug me, though. I have a low tolerance for it. I think everyone has to go through that step, it's part of doping out the character's motivation. You ought to have, in your head, a sort of sketch of what made her do what she will do. But laying it on me at the beginning just makes my eyes glaze over with boredom. More than two paragraphs of it and I start looking for an excuse to give up reading it, and if there's four paragraphs, I back-click and go someplace else. Get to the story, really! It's serious good advice of which I mean every word, even if I stated it in a kind of hostile way at the beginning, there.

 

[Guest]

I like it in the end.



Erlik - in all seriousness, listen to the advice from these fine gentlemen. They know of what they speak.

 

[Erlikkhan]

Thanks for the advice. You are right, all I had was a vision of someone in my mind, but I need a story. I still like the vision.

 

[cantdog]

Nothing says it can't work, either. Writing is a craft, and like many crafts, starts with inspiration.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Thanks for the advice. You are right, all I had was a vision of someone in my mind, but I need a story. I still like the vision.

So do I, but the comments are right.

Try it from the opposite side. Get inside the woman's head. Is the 'body to die for' a problem? Do people take her seriously? Is being 5'2 a problem?

As Dr M said, you've got a character, now see where she wants to go.

 

[Erlikkhan]

So do I, but the comments are right.

Try it from the opposite side. Get inside the woman's head. Is the 'body to die for' a problem? Do people take her seriously? Is being 5'2 a problem?

As Dr M said, you've got a character, now see where she wants to go.

I always thought my writing did a good job of getting inside the head of a woman, and I do have a lot of regular women followers. However, when I wrote a Lesbian Sex story it didn't do as well as my other stories, so maybe I'm not as perceptive as I think.

Joanne will use her sexy body and good looks to achieve a sense of power over men despite her small stature. Burning in her loins is a caged tiger that wants to break free... the door only needs to be opened.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Thanks for the advice. You are right, all I had was a vision of someone in my mind, but I need a story. I still like the vision.

Perfectly legit. Most of my stories start as visions, but my visions are usually scenes of people together. Then I have to work backwards from that and figure out how to bring it off, imagine who these people are and why they're doing whatever it is they're doing.

I think you just have to follow Joanne around in your imagination for a while and see what she wants to do. Or what you want to have her do. And really, that's one of the most fun parts of writing, isn't it? The rest is all pretty much work and tedium.

I already know what I'd do with Joanne, but that priviledge is really yours. Enjoy it.

--Zoot

 

[Softouch911]

Everything before this is true -- not knowing your writing style, let me suggest some approaches to find out what your story is going to be.

When I do my rough draft it rarely starts at what will be the beginning of the story. It starts, perhaps, with an image, or a situation, or a character, or some combination of these. As I work with what has intrigued me I sometimes even find a story Then it's easier to find out where the beginning is.

In your case, you have a character you really like ... or maybe a character and a narrator? If you adopt my strategy, you can either have them interact and see what happens, or you can throw her into a situation where what she does isn't guaranteed -- the more she'd be uncomfortable and surprised the better -- and then just see what happens as you write it out.

I never begin with a plot. (Some who have read my stories will say 'That's obvious, Softie!" ) In my case plot driven stories end up being mechanical and stilted. I'm struggling with one of those now ... unfortunately I want to write it.

Hope this was of some use.


Softouch

 

[raphy]

Writing (erotica) like fucking, is individual. No one can tell you how to do it. How you write is as individual as what you like to read.

I'm very heavy on both plot and character development. I'm not heavy on physical descriptions (or objects, people, or anything). The worst problem with physical descriptions is that it's a textbook violation of the 'show-don't-tell' principle. Don't tell me she's 5'2". Show me. Don't tell me that she's got killer tits and a nice ass. Show me.

For me, the story is about who the people are and why they're doing what they're doing (and of course, by extension, what it is they're doing, heh)

I agree with Dr M and cantdog - You have a character now. Now give her something to do and a reason to do it.

 

[mismused]

Thanks for the advice. You are right, all I had was a vision of someone in my mind, but I need a story. I still like the vision.

==========================================================

We all have our own ways of writing, though many are very similar, plot, not plot. You may be the no plot type as I am with your liking of the "vision."

Take the vision, go into it, feel it, get lost in it, then watch it carry you away. Lastly, while it's still hot, or ongoing, write it down.

Hope that helps. Luck.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Looking for some advice on a "Loving Wives" story. I'm sure I'll get many "up your ass" and in the trash" replies, which are always welcome. I have the first two paragraphs of a story but don't know what direction to take it next.

"My wife, Joanne, is 105 pounds of pure sex poured into a 5’2” frame. Her tits stretch the limits of the T-shirts and halters she wears yet are firm enough to hold their shape nicely when she goes braless, which is most of the time. She has a small waist and full hips with strong but shapely thighs and an ass to die for. In a pair of tight shorts and a low cut halter Joanne is a walking wet dream.

It is not just her body that is sexy. She has curly blond hair that falls down over her shoulders, green eyes with long lashes, high cheekbones, full lips, white teeth and a small upturned nose. She loves to flirt and has a natural “I want to fuck” look in her eyes. Guys are constantly hitting on her. She eats up the attention."

Here are some possibilities for the opening of the next paragraph

1. I first met Joanne in the office right after college. She worked in the supply room.
2. I lost my job just after buying a new house. We were desperate for money.
3. Most of my friends are single and drool over Joanne when they come by the house to play cards.
4. Joanne is an exhibitionist at heart and loves to show off her goodies in public.
5. I became suspicious when Joanne stayed late at the office on a regular basis.
6. One day I found a pair of cum stained panties in her laundry and knew it was not from me.

Maybe they all work and I could write "A Sexual Anthology of Joanne". Any thoughts or other ideas?

I'll be honest, and disagree with the others to a point. I don't see a character here, just a description, and it's fairly technical. It's not out of place in erotica as a whole (I've got plenty of these type descriptions in my work, and while raphy's right about showing and telling, it's not a sin to write this), but she's got titts and an ass and blonde hair and she's 5'2" doesn't constitute a character. From the overall statements of the 6 possible directions, I'd say you've got something worked out, but not necessarily and entire character ready to write about yet.

I'm thinking you should probably look at the husband's character next, and decide what motivates him (unless I mistook the first person character and she's actually a lesbian) and decide how they're together when she has the traits she has. Create a balance between the two. Once you've got two characters and said balance, pick one of the 6, maybe even at random, sit down, and the story should just roll.

Q_C