Is men crying still a no-no?

[dirk2024]

Was it a cute dog rescue story? Those make me cry all the time!

 

[Plathfan]

A lot of stereotypes are floating around. As a society, we don't generally tolerate self-indulgent whining, no matter the gender. The world’s harsh and unforgiving, and we expect kids to grow character, toughen up, and handle setbacks without melting down over every scratch or playground spat. Tears are for real loss or genuine empathy.

That said, never crying can also look like emotional immaturity or an unwillingness to face loss.

Me? I don’t cry. I shed tears. There’s a difference (haha). Sometimes my eyes well up and a tear or two slips out, but I don’t drop to my knees and sob. Still, the older I get, the more sentimental I become. A stray three‑legged kitten can blur my vision these days.

I’m guessing the commenter the OP mentioned identified so strongly with the character that he expected him to stay composed and not fall apart over a girl. Fair enough. Nothing to draw sweeping conclusions from.

 

[Astrotrain]

Some people are just uncomfortable with the idea and think men should only cry when watching Old Yeller, the end of Saving Private Ryan, or when there is a death in the family.
Other people think men should cry all the time.
I wouldn't read too much into one comment.

You forgot the end of Terminator 2.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I'd say yes. If you have to do it, character or IRL, do it where no one can see you and tell no one.

 

[iwatchus]

Was it a cute dog rescue story? Those make me cry all the time!

From the love interest's perspective, it almost was. MC was crying because he wanted to be more than being a cute puppy dog to her. Or I guess cute old dog.

 

[subdudeme13]

Last time when we had to have our 14 yo puppy put down. I almost collapsed and had to sit down. Somehow it seems loosing a dog is the hardest.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

I guess I am old enough now I don't really GAF what others think.
A blubbering idiot at drop of a hat is annoying as hell.
But events in life that induce an emotional release I say no harm, no foul

 

[JenniferSmithJones]

I've got an uncle who is trying to figure out why it is no matter where he is at the end of Saving Private Ryan the room always seems to get dusty.

"Geography is just physics, slowed down. With some trees added on." Terry Pratchett, "Fifth Elephant."

Sorry, just noticed your sig line, and I am a major Terry Pratchett fan!

 

[yowser]

I am a no longer young male from a backwoods town in New England where male crying was neither common nor well received. However, I have cried twice this week - here are my triggers (and of course they can overlap):

Love: Just finished a biography (M. Holroyd) of Bloomsbury curmudgeon Lytton Strachey, brilliant but hardly a pleasant person, who lived (non-romantically) with a devoted companion. When he died, far too young in his early fifties, everyone knew she would likely take her own life and did everything they could to prevent her. But she did anyway.

Death: Especially before one's prime, especially to good people.

Heroism: An article in the news about a Vietnam vet who received orders to be a pall-bearer for a fellow (but unknown to him) soldier.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/25/opinion/vietnam-war-marine.html

Okay, there is one more: a moment of excruciating beauty. A daughter's graduation. A niece's wedding. The second movement of Beethoven's Seventh symphony. Easy, natural, and unembarrassed.
,
I think your story is fine.

 

[Actingup]

I think it just boils down to how you use crying within the range of behaviours that a character displays. You can write a man who never cries but is dying on the inside. You can write a woman who turns everything into a visible drama and saps emotional energy from everyone around her. Or you can reverse those roles. What matters is just whether those things are useful in defining your characters.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

"He told me why he left. He said that when he saw me as a bride beside the bed, (not relevant to this thread). He said he almost cried in joy and pride and had to step out to recover."

 

[MrHereWriting]

I received a comment on a recent story complaining about the MC, who is male, crying. The comment was overall positive but that part of it surprised me.

As context, the MC has just gotten his courage up to tell a woman that he is falling in love with her. She says I thought we were just having a fling and I am not interested in you in that way.
He puts a brave face on for the rest of that scene and then goes back to his room and cries.

Would many people, male or female, not cry, at least in private after something like that? Am I just that disconnected from the macho mindset?

A fling is not a enough time to fall in love with someone. Falling in love during a fling is like falling in love with a stripper during a lap dance. That's no reason to cry.