Where is Tony Blair when you need him?

[Guest]

Actually any Anglophile or genuine Brit will do. I am into a story set in England. I need some "choice" words and phrases that will give my tale some authenticity.

Who will help me with the British equivelant with some of the following?

Vagina, cunt, quim

Penis, prick

Orgasm, coming

Breasts, boobs

Balls, scrotum

"I'm coming" ( Male)

"I'm coming" (Female)

Intercourse, fucking

Give head (Male)

Give head (Female)

I'm sure you have the idea.

Thanks for your time and thoughts.

 

[MathGirl]

See here, cobber ...............

Who will help me with the British equivelant with some of the following?.

G'day, Mate,
Can't help ya with the Brit equivalent of them terms, cobber, but I'll list the ones we use down 'ere. I'll let you match 'em up yerself. Oops, me billy's boilin.

Hootarronies
Squirtin' jerkins
Mrs Malloy's pickels
Nobblies
Desert trout
The old fish farm
Abo gone knees up
Girly whirlies
Old man Foster's natchers
The place where the monkey hid his nut

Hope that's helpful, mate.
Jock

 

[NoJo]

Ricochet, I think you should set your story in Oz, judging by the verbal richness there.

I'm as British as Marmite, and I'll stick my two pennyworth in (London: other parts of the UK use different words) - BTW most of the words you used are also very prevalent in Britain:

Vagina, cunt, quim
beef curtains (labia)

Penis, prick
Willy

Orgasm, coming
jizzing
Breasts, boobs
Tits is most common
Balls, scrotum
Bollocks in London

"I'm coming" ( Male) I do believe I'm undergoing the "foreign" sneeze, don't you know, dear

"I'm coming" (Female) I didn't know this was possible...

Intercourse, fucking Fucking

Give head (Male) Suck off

Give head (Female) This is illegal in this country, and is so rare as to not have any words to describe it

 

[Guest]

so far, so good

Thanks for taking the time, you two.

Authenticity makes for believability.

 

[pop_54]

Hi mate

Hmm, could try some slang as well if you want to make it authentic.

"Fanny" is a common term for the female genitalia although "cunt" is just as common over here, sometimes "piss flaps", or "Gash".

"Prick" or the slang version "Hampton" (as in Hampton Wick), of course "Willy" as Joe said if the characters are a bit low in the food chain (as in thick country folk).

Orgasm is rarely used, too bloody highbrow, "Shoot your Fat", "Blow your load", "Empty your bollocks".

Yea "Tits" is fine, or "Boobs", could use "Threepenny bits", or "Bristol Cities", shorten them to "Threepenny's" or "Bristols" though.

"Balls" is fine, or as per above & Joe's London folks, "Bollocks" is more common in the whole of UK. "Orchestra Stalls" is a common slang term.

'I'm coming' is rarely shouted in the UK by either sex, we're a bit more reserved. Could say "Jesus I've Shot my lot".

Intercourse, well of couse "Fucking" what else, "Shagging" is common though, so is "Humping" and "Bonking".

Giving head, well as Joe said this sort of thing is frowned on over here, but if we did do something like this, not that we do of course, it might be called, "sucking off", "Blow Job", "Gamming" (Gaa-ming) for ladies "Gobbling" a male apendage.

Or "Muff diving", "Drinking from the fluffy cup", "Tasting the wine", for men licking at a female "Gash". You must understand however we don't do this sort of thing often, only about two of three times a week in my case.

Hope I've been some help, it'll save you moving to Australia.

pops............

 

[Un-registered]

Who will help me with the British equivelant with some of the following?

I must warn you, the Brits have a weird sense of humour.

The previous two replies came from persons who were, to a certain extent doing what we refer to as "extracting the Michael".

You will have no problem with any of your terms in respect of male readers except, possibly, "giving head". If a woman performs on the male genitalia she is described as "sucking", "blowing", or "gobbling". A male performing on the female genitalia is described as "muff diving", or "eating hair pie".

As to the words female readers would use, or understand, you will have to ask a female. Perhaps a PM to MsLinnett would "get a result" as we say.

 

[Guest]

Hmmmm...

I see the differences are fewer than I imagined.

As a long time muff diver, with a passion for the task, it is a pity my talents woukd be wasted across the pond. You have eliminated a joyfully graphic paragraph from my story.

Again thanks for responses within this very merry thread.

 

[MathGirl]

Sure it is.........

Give head (Female) This is illegal in this country, and is so rare as to not have any words to describe it

Hur hur
MG

 

[gauchecritic]

Try this Roger's Profanisaurus

Gauche

 

[MathGirl]

Try this Roger's Profanisaurus

Gauche

Is that anything like Roget's Thesaurus?
MG

 

[gauchecritic]

Exactly the same only funny. (except for the toilet parts)

Gauche

 

[Guest]

That is good

Gauche critic, Thanks.

In another story I used the Italian version. Didn't know about this one.

Right on!

 

[TheEarl]

Cunt is a huge insult in England. Would suggest using pussy or quim: pretty much universal.

Penis, prick: Willy, cock, prick

Orgasm, coming: Shooting your load(m)

Breasts, boobs: <deep breath> Tits, rack, melons, jugs, bazookas, jubblies, gazumbas. Watch Austin Powers. Pretty much anything Liz Hurley's tits are concealed by can be used as slang for breasts in England. Tits is still the most common.

Balls, scrotum: Nutsack

Intercourse, fucking: Fucking, shagging, Giving her one (male perspective)

Give head (Male): Suck off

Give head (Female): Licking out

Hope that helps. You might wanna be a bit more specific about which part of England you want the accent to be from though. It is quite a diverse country and you'll find Alex De Kok's Geordie a different proposition to my quasi-posh Southern slang.

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

Ricochet: The thing with the muff diving not being common here - they're taking the piss. Dealing with Englishmen: Everything we say could (and probably is) be loaded with a very heavy dose of sarcasm. That's why you don't get our comedy shows.

And why we laugh at you lot so much .

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Again, thanks to all

I guess I gleaned "quim" and "willy" out of all this. "Willy" is really cute.

Earl, thanks for your description of the British psyche. I am more confused than ever.

 

[NoJo]

"Willy" is a juvenile word. I'm not sure of the US equivalent -- "weiner?" It's only used jokingly.

A couple of other british ones -- most commonly, fanny, mentioned above. Americans crack us up when they talk about "fannies", meaning asses (arses).

French and Saunders (you probably know Jennifer Saunders from "Absolutely Fabulous") coined front bottom, I think.

British woman get lary (bawdy) when drunk, and will usually bet any man that they can drink him under the table. It's a good idea to take the bet, although it's a bit dangerous if you lose, as you have to drink her under the table, which, as I've said is illegal.

Tackle -- the whole set of male appendages, esp. when displayed in a pub or other public place.

Roger - v. to fuck: An example of humerous use of literary or antiquated vernacular.

Many years ago my Nottingham pal would introduce himself to ladies with "Hey lass, get yer gums round me plums". I don't know what became of him.

 

[Guest]

Variety is the spice of life

Tip of the hat for the clarification, Sub Joe, old chum.

There is certainly a difference between all you Brits on how you use the English language. But it is yours, of course. We just adopted it.

I was just thinking. What would the U.S. be like if the French hadn't sold us Louisiana?

 

[pop_54]

Ha yes

Yes and on the subject Ricochet don't forget to spell the rear word properly, *Arse*, not *Ass*.

If you wrote for instance: "Harry slowly eased his huge hard Hampton into Tessa's Ass".

You'd have the animal rights people up in arms objecting to your character shagging a Donkey.

Just a note, Sorry......pops..........

 

[NoJo]

Re: Ha yes

If you wrote for instance: "Harry slowly eased his huge hard Hampton into Tessa's Ass".

You'd have the animal rights people up in arms objecting to your character shagging a Donkey.

Just a note, Sorry......pops..........

As a moggy lover, I'd rather shove my hampton into an ass than a pussy, though.

 

[Lovepotion69]

I swear I haven't laughed this much in a while. LOL

MathGirls's post had me laughing like crazy and that kind of set the tone for the rest of my mood reading this thread.

I loved the posts. Gotta love UK slang.

I find "willy" really cute. Same with "shag". Actually lots of British words just have a really cute ring to them. lol
"Gobbling" to me sounds like I'm eating him up or something...(and I mean that includes using teeth).
"Jizzing" must be the most hilarious word for cumming. "Shooting his lot" is probably the term I've heard the most since being here.

I love the British humour. Sarcasm and dry humour. Just the way I like it.

 

[Dirt Man]

My wife's family is English, they come from Devon...

And yes, their humor is filled with a rich dry sarcasm that can wilt the willy on a herd of jolly arses. The thing to remember is that the English believe themselves to be the moral standard for proper dialouge in any situation, and look down their noses at those who don't believe that they are. But otherwise, they are pretty much the same as anyone else emotionally.


As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Ha yes

As a moggy lover, I'd rather shove my hampton into an ass than a pussy, though.

Well quite so Joe, them buggers scratch and fight like hell don't they.

Funny I just finished reading a new book last night.

"She cats revenge" By 'Claud Ball'.

pops.............. PS: hey look I'm a Guru, whatever the f**k one of them is.

 

[TheEarl]

"The British conquered the known world by pretending that other cultures didn't exist."

Can't remember who first said that, but it's very true. It's not xenophobia, it's just a complete disgust for foreigners and their filthy ways.

What I love is the way other people look at England. Take this thread for an example: "the British equivelant." Apart from the fact that setting a story in England and setting a story in Britain could be different things (The UK is made up of four different countries - England, N. Ireland, Wales and Scotland. They each have their own parliaments, although they share a head of state (the Queen) and Teflon Tony leads us all), the sheer number of accents and slangs around England is unbelievable. It's not as though we all speak the 'I say old man, what?' or Dick van Dyke Mockney. Scouser, Brummie, Manc, Geordie, Cockney, Essex boy, West Country, etc.

[/rant]

The Earl

 

[Guest]

ouch...

Meant no offense.

Consider me gone.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I loved the posts. Gotta love UK slang.

I find "willy" really cute. Same with "shag". Actually lots of British words just have a really cute ring to them. lol

I love the British humour. Sarcasm and dry humour. Just the way I like it.

I second that. And I love it when I read a Brittish sex story and hear people say "bloody" instead of "fucking".

I must say I jumped a little when Ron said "bloody hell" in CoS...