pandoravampire
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2004
- Posts
- 284
Hi everyone.
I find myself in a new situation. Im in a loving relationship that is 24/7 with my Sir.
We have just undergone a interstate house move to queensland. New jobs for us both, new home etc.
So here we are, thousands of miles from any friends and loved ones. The jobs are good, money is ok (well it will be once we get paid at the end of the month), the new house is gorgeous ra ra ra.
For the first time to us, the power exchange thing is not happening. We've tried play, and it has gone wrong a couple of times. Not anyones fault, but 'it just aint happening' sort of thing.
Sometimes, when things have gone through a tuff patch, our play has been able to get us back together, as the closeness we feel, the power exchange has a very positive impact on restart things off on the right foot, or working out frustrations in life for us both. Also talking things over with each other, supporting each other, and its come good.
We are used to things flowing smoothly as we both go into play. But since the move, i can tell he is not getting where he needs to be, which in effect, means i do not either.
He seems to be misreading my reactions too. Stopping play coz he doesnt see a reaction in me he would of been able to predict previously is throwing him. This is a kind of catch 22 situation. Im not letting go, coz he's not and so on.
So the play aspect of our relationship is having a temporary hiccup.
Now i can see that all these life changes are bound to upset things for a while. And that is not part of my question.
My question is to others who have found the mojo missing, is what can i ,as his submissive do to help things?
We have talked this over, and both accept, that our life changes are the probable cause. Once the dust settles, things will pick up again.
We've made inroads into meeting new people here, as missing out on the social life is a contributing factor to feeling unsettled.
Im trying to treat him extra special. Lots of reassurance, massage, flirting, trying hard to be a good sub etc. But whilst im waiting for the wind to change. Im getting very upset at this turn of events. My Dom appears to have gone missing, and im feeling a little adrift. This disconcerts me. Then, when we do play, ive sorta got one ear on 'is this going ok, is he ok?' instead of just letting go like i used to. I dont seem to be able to help this reaction in me, its seemingly automatic.
How have others coped when things dont just glide along like your used to? What can i do to help?
Im stuck, with no experience of this before, and dont feel like i can help Him/us/me. I feel like im failing him as his submissive.
pandoravampire
I find myself in a new situation. Im in a loving relationship that is 24/7 with my Sir.
We have just undergone a interstate house move to queensland. New jobs for us both, new home etc.
So here we are, thousands of miles from any friends and loved ones. The jobs are good, money is ok (well it will be once we get paid at the end of the month), the new house is gorgeous ra ra ra.
For the first time to us, the power exchange thing is not happening. We've tried play, and it has gone wrong a couple of times. Not anyones fault, but 'it just aint happening' sort of thing.
Sometimes, when things have gone through a tuff patch, our play has been able to get us back together, as the closeness we feel, the power exchange has a very positive impact on restart things off on the right foot, or working out frustrations in life for us both. Also talking things over with each other, supporting each other, and its come good.
We are used to things flowing smoothly as we both go into play. But since the move, i can tell he is not getting where he needs to be, which in effect, means i do not either.
He seems to be misreading my reactions too. Stopping play coz he doesnt see a reaction in me he would of been able to predict previously is throwing him. This is a kind of catch 22 situation. Im not letting go, coz he's not and so on.
So the play aspect of our relationship is having a temporary hiccup.
Now i can see that all these life changes are bound to upset things for a while. And that is not part of my question.
My question is to others who have found the mojo missing, is what can i ,as his submissive do to help things?
We have talked this over, and both accept, that our life changes are the probable cause. Once the dust settles, things will pick up again.
We've made inroads into meeting new people here, as missing out on the social life is a contributing factor to feeling unsettled.
Im trying to treat him extra special. Lots of reassurance, massage, flirting, trying hard to be a good sub etc. But whilst im waiting for the wind to change. Im getting very upset at this turn of events. My Dom appears to have gone missing, and im feeling a little adrift. This disconcerts me. Then, when we do play, ive sorta got one ear on 'is this going ok, is he ok?' instead of just letting go like i used to. I dont seem to be able to help this reaction in me, its seemingly automatic.
How have others coped when things dont just glide along like your used to? What can i do to help?
Im stuck, with no experience of this before, and dont feel like i can help Him/us/me. I feel like im failing him as his submissive.
pandoravampire
