When you see Lit members cuddling up to the most obvious assholes on the forum...

[allium]

Cyber sex always involves some sort of beating.

Damn, I think I've been doing it wrong.

 

[RoryN]

All-points-bulletin: here's another one no one buys: "It's not me - everyone else is just too dumb to see that the asshole is putting on an act/persona online."

 

[Recidiva]

mmmm... someone's assholery can be another's joy. Someone I really like a lot was called an asshole the other day by someone I quite liked. I went with the liked a lot one because I thought mr quite liked was being a wanker.

I think some of the closest friends I have online...we spend quite a bit of time making fun of each other.

I suppose it's pigtail pulling and the like. But It tends to go over better than spending all day saying how much you adore each other. Yes, that happens too, but usually between gigglesnorts.

ABSTRUSE or Monkey_Face and I wouldn't be caught dead NOT insulting each other horribly at every chance. And they're the most fun ever.

If you come in on the middle of that without realizing we think it's hilarious...well, again, it takes a specific type of sense of humor to abuse each other all day long and never tire. It's fun wordplay, and I don't take a moment of it seriously, and I would advise the same for others.

 

[Aliea]

All-points-bulletin: here's another one no one buys: "It's not me - everyone else is just too dumb to see that the asshole is putting on an act/persona online."

The worst line I've seen is "he's nice to me!" So what if he hates an entire race, he's cool with me so leave us alone!

 

[Recidiva]

All-points-bulletin: here's another one no one buys: "It's not me - everyone else is just too dumb to see that the asshole is putting on an act/persona online."

I've been in the confidence of several online assholes where it was an act/persona.

So I'll have to say I do say that on occasion. It's easy to be an online asshole for fun when you don't give a damn. But the ability to be a dear friend in confidence is rare.

So I do buy that from time to time, and I do say it.

 

[RoryN]

The worst line I've seen is "he's nice to me!" So what if he hates an entire race, he's cool with me so leave us alone!

Agreed. That response deserves a throttling.

 

[Sean]

I think some of the closest friends I have online...we spend quite a bit of time making fun of each other.

I suppose it's pigtail pulling and the like. But It tends to go over better than spending all day saying how much you adore each other. Yes, that happens too, but usually between gigglesnorts.

ABSTRUSE or Monkey_Face and I wouldn't be caught dead NOT insulting each other horribly at every chance. And they're the most fun ever.

If you come in on the middle of that without realizing we think it's hilarious...well, again, it takes a specific type of sense of humor to abuse each other all day long and never tire. It's fun wordplay, and I don't take a moment of it seriously, and I would advise the same for others.

This, I get.

 

[cervidaeartioda]

...how does it make you feel?

I can see a few degrees of reaction here:

"Ha - that's cool. He/she enjoys virtually flirting with him/her `cause he/she thinks he/she's iconoclastic, mean, and virtually 'dangerous'. It's not real infatuation, so it's all good."

"Hmmm - okay, whatever. It's a porn bulletin board. But still, can't they tell he/she's a weenie?"

"They probably have the same sort of attraction to assholes IRL, and a deflated sense of self-esteem. My opinion of them has lowered."

"I don't care - I love porn."

(The reaction I don't think is honest is the "I don't like him/her - I'm actually trolling them"-type response. Save it; you're intrigued at some level.)

Do you ever post anything valid? You seem to worry about the other guy a lot! Sure sign of someone that is very insecure..

 

[Redatlit]

I can get past the assholery, and have. The racial, homophobic, or sexist assholery is a different matter. For me at least.

That's my opinion. I also agree with Sean, my opinion of those who cuddle up with them is lowered.

 

[RoryN]

I've been in the confidence of several online assholes where it was an act/persona.

...their motives for which speak to their character.

So I'll have to say I do say that on occasion. It's easy to be an online asshole for fun when you don't give a damn.

And easier for one's true characteristcs to come through in a safe forum.

 

[unregistered]

 

[marshalt]

The worst line I've seen is "he's nice to me!" So what if he hates an entire race, he's cool with me so leave us alone!

you're nice to me

 

[where]

I think some of the closest friends I have online...we spend quite a bit of time making fun of each other.

I suppose it's pigtail pulling and the like. But It tends to go over better than spending all day saying how much you adore each other. Yes, that happens too, but usually between gigglesnorts.

ABSTRUSE or Monkey_Face and I wouldn't be caught dead NOT insulting each other horribly at every chance. And they're the most fun ever.

If you come in on the middle of that without realizing we think it's hilarious...well, again, it takes a specific type of sense of humor to abuse each other all day long and never tire. It's fun wordplay, and I don't take a moment of it seriously, and I would advise the same for others.

no... this was nasty mean stuff. And I thought it was a bit racist too. Trouble is, you get assholes on here throwing racist epithets around like confetti and then argue they are being 'ironic' or parodying racists. I personally think it's generally corrosive behaviour and creates an environment where it's seen as acceptable to use such language.

 

[Karen Kraft]

I think some of the closest friends I have online...we spend quite a bit of time making fun of each other.

I suppose it's pigtail pulling and the like. But It tends to go over better than spending all day saying how much you adore each other. Yes, that happens too, but usually between gigglesnorts.

ABSTRUSE or Monkey_Face and I wouldn't be caught dead NOT insulting each other horribly at every chance. And they're the most fun ever.

If you come in on the middle of that without realizing we think it's hilarious...well, again, it takes a specific type of sense of humor to abuse each other all day long and never tire. It's fun wordplay, and I don't take a moment of it seriously, and I would advise the same for others.

Or my telling LittleNinja that I stood her up because I found someone better to fuck that night. People who just came into the thread PM me telling me how cruel I'm being to the poor girl. Makes you wonder sometimes.

My job these days is taking poorly written dialog (in scripts) and fixing it -- making it flow better and sometimes making it more congruent to the style of the actor selected for the part, while reducing the length of the entire work by 'n' minutes/pages.

That's why Lit. seems so refreshing to me -- like I said: for some it's boredom!

 

[Recidiva]

...their motives for which speak to their character.



And easier for one's true characteristcs to come through in a safe forum.

I think it also has to depend entirely on those who have a drama/writing component to coming here, or those who want to just meet other people like a PTA meeting.

I have an acting/roleplaying background online and in real life. People's ability to portray themselves as different than they are for entertainment purposes is a fairly well established trend in my life.

When they choose to break character privately, I hold that confidence.

There are those who are busy hiding their good deeds with public assholery, again, to avoid the tag of "nice guy" or being taken advantage of or whatever reason they choose. There are people that get SO much attention that they're fine rejecting it for fun.

Again, I think "true characteristic" here is something you're picking and choosing yourself, but condemning others for picking and choosing for themselves.

People have different standards and different ideas of humor and public interaction. There's reasons why those folks would be drawn to a text medium. If you want to meet "real people" - why are you here? Go where the real people go.

It's a bit like going to a piano bar and wondering why everyone's singing show tunes when you don't like show tunes.

Well...duh.

If you want "real" people - go to ... I don't know, but not here. And I won't be joining you. Bo-Ring.

 

[Recidiva]

no... this was nasty mean stuff. And I thought it was a bit racist too. Trouble is, you get assholes on here throwing racist epithets around like confetti and then argue they are being 'ironic' or parodying racists. I personally think it's generally corrosive behaviour and creates an environment where it's seen as acceptable to use such language.

My idea of debate techniques and general offensive language has undergone a bit of a transformation here on Lit.

In my opinion, racism and bigotry are ignorance. There are lots of types of ignorance and stupidity.

But if I were to give up talking to everyone that was ignorant about something, I wouldn't have anything to say to anyone. I couldn't even talk to myself.

Through talking to people and getting to know their insecurities, issues, histories and reasons for why they feel the way they feel...over time I have less fear and more understanding. It's like dealing with little kids who are afraid of cooties. They can't define cooties, it's just this social idea that they "caught" unfortunately like a disease.

How're they gonna work through it if nobody's around to explain and all the morons are on ignore just talking to themselves? How does that make a better world? Sure, it'll be quieter, but trying to inject some reason even in entertainment. Can't hurt. And I've seen changes in people that make ignore a less...charitable option.

You can be a hideous racist and love kittens and puppies and be an expert woodworker or amazing something or other that otherwise is worth talking about.

 

[spacekowboy]

I get violently ill. With the amount of assholes around here, it's a good thing that I've got a huge supply of airsickness bags.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Racism is a choice. I choose not to associate with them or argue with them. It's useless.

What I find to be most destructive around here are the people who share private information. When someone befriends them, then I won't share a whole lot of information with their supporters. Ishmael. December/IndigoRose/guileful/desiqn/(Imogene? Certainly her style whether it's her or not.) Killswitch.

Probably others I haven't seen. I hope that someone would let me know someone stepped outside of the boundaries of internet safety that I might have missed.

 

[where]

My idea of debate techniques and general offensive language has undergone a bit of a transformation here on Lit.

In my opinion, racism and bigotry are ignorance. There are lots of types of ignorance and stupidity.

But if I were to give up talking to everyone that was ignorant about something, I wouldn't have anything to say to anyone. I couldn't even talk to myself.

Through talking to people and getting to know their insecurities, issues, histories and reasons for why they feel the way they feel...over time I have less fear and more understanding. It's like dealing with little kids who are afraid of cooties. They can't define cooties, it's just this social idea that they "caught" unfortunately like a disease.

How're they gonna work through it if nobody's around to explain and all the morons are on ignore just talking to themselves? How does that make a better world? Sure, it'll be quieter, but trying to inject some reason even in entertainment. Can't hurt. And I've seen changes in people that make ignore a less...charitable option.

You can be a hideous racist and love kittens and puppies and be an expert woodworker or amazing something or other that otherwise is worth talking about.

I see your point, but debating with racist posters is generally pointless. there is some entertainment to be had with the racist trolls sometimes, but even that gets boring.

And I don't care if the hideous racist loves little fluffy kittens or has an interesting job, I don't really want to engage with them.

Racism is a choice. I choose not to associate with them or argue with them. It's useless.

What I find to be most destructive around here are the people who share private information. When someone befriends them, then I won't share a whole lot of information with their supporters. Ishmael. December/IndigoRose/guileful/desiqn/(Imogene? Certainly her style whether it's her or not.) Killswitch.

Probably others I haven't seen. I hope that someone would let me know someone stepped outside of the boundaries of internet safety that I might have missed.

I actually shared a lot of private info with December before I knew about stuff she had done. Just recently I was pretty viciously trolled by someone who knew a lot of private stuff about me and posted it all over the forum. None of the stuff the troll put up was stuff I had told Dec. I'd trust her with more personal stuff than a lot of people on here even though I'm not wild about the company she keeps.

 

[Karen Kraft]

I think it also has to depend entirely on those who have a drama/writing component to coming here, or those who want to just meet other people like a PTA meeting.

I have an acting/roleplaying background online and in real life. People's ability to portray themselves as different than they are for entertainment purposes is a fairly well established trend in my life.

When they choose to break character privately, I hold that confidence.

There are those who are busy hiding their good deeds with public assholery, again, to avoid the tag of "nice guy" or being taken advantage of or whatever reason they choose. There are people that get SO much attention that they're fine rejecting it for fun.

Again, I think "true characteristic" here is something you're picking and choosing yourself, but condemning others for picking and choosing for themselves.

People have different standards and different ideas of humor and public interaction. There's reasons why those folks would be drawn to a text medium. If you want to meet "real people" - why are you here? Go where the real people go.

It's a bit like going to a piano bar and wondering why everyone's singing show tunes when you don't like show tunes.

Well...duh.

If you want "real" people - go to ... I don't know, but not here. And I won't be joining you. Bo-Ring.

Yes, and there also is the dynamic of people finding humor going one direction fabulously funny, while becoming offended at humor going another direction.

What seems to be sick-but-hysterically-funny jabs on one topic -- one not too close to something held sacrosanct -- is fine; but the same sort of humor is terribly offensive and revealing of hidden defects in a topic that is "off limits." More often than not, these topics involve people’s favorite immutable characteristics – age, sex, race, sexual preference, and so on.

I submit that people don't even realize they're doing it. At election time, a nasty comment about one candidate yields “LMFAO!”, while a similar comment about the other candidate yields “RACIST!” or “SEXIST!”

 

[Karen Kraft]

Racism is a choice. I choose not to associate with them or argue with them. It's useless.

What I find to be most destructive around here are the people who share private information. When someone befriends them, then I won't share a whole lot of information with their supporters. Ishmael. December/IndigoRose/guileful/desiqn/(Imogene? Certainly her style whether it's her or not.) Killswitch.

Probably others I haven't seen. I hope that someone would let me know someone stepped outside of the boundaries of internet safety that I might have missed.

Then, of course, there are those posters who never share any personal information and keep their private life a total mystery -- like DollParts.

 

[Recidiva]

I see your point, but debating with racist posters is generally pointless. there is some entertainment to be had with the racist trolls sometimes, but even that gets boring.

And I don't care if the hideous racist loves little fluffy kittens or has an interesting job, I don't really want to engage with them.

That's okay.

I grew up with one side of my family from the deep south. Many of my elder relatives said some of the worst stuff you'd ever want to hear about racism.

However, they loved me and I respected my elders and although I made clear I wouldn't discuss racism from a young age even with my elders, they respected that and kept it out of my hearing (mostly)

But I find it easier to put it aside in a Lit poster probably because of that tightrope.

My charming adorable osteoporitic great aunt from Louisiana (bless her heart) gave a wonderful tea party, but the stuff that came out of her mouth...

So I'm just more capable of separating it out because of family practice.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Some jerks are hot.

 

[Raidho]

Cyber sex always involves some sort of beating.

I've been doing it all wrong, but somehow I'm not surprised.

 

[Recidiva]

Yes, and there also is the dynamic of people finding humor going one direction fabulously funny, while becoming offended at humor going another direction.

What seems to be sick-but-hysterically-funny jabs on one topic -- one not too close to something held sacrosanct -- is fine; but the same sort of humor is terribly offensive and revealing of hidden defects in a topic that is "off limits." More often than not, these topics involve people’s favorite immutable characteristics – age, sex, race, sexual preference, and so on.

I submit that people don't even realize they're doing it. At election time, a nasty comment about one candidate yields “LMFAO!”, while a similar comment about the other candidate yields “RACIST!” or “SEXIST!”

Yes. People who think it's hilarious that San Francisco put a "George Bush Memorial Sewage Plant" on the ballot might think that's hilarious.

But they'd find it entirely offensive if it were done to one of their heroes. MLK perhaps, in Texas?

That sort of hypocrisy I don't respect.

I find it offensive either way. Not that I like Bush. Just that if you want to be shown any respect, you need to show some yourself.