When you remain close friends with an ex...

[Mia62]

Does it make it harder on your current relationship...or your ex's current relationship...or neither?

 

[Killswitch]

The last time I spoke with my ex wife is when I kicked her ass out...so I dont know.

 

[SpiceCake]

I don't know - I HATE my ex! Hence the divorce!

 

[Alvin Brickrock]

Makes it easier. My ex and I get along great.

 

[concrete]

re ex

harder on the current girlfriend..
doesn't fully copp with the trash to deal with from the ex.

 

[freakygirl]

Mr Freaky and my ex husband get along great. They are friends.. it's pretty cool, I think.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

My ex was still in love with me when I hooked up with my current honey. The ex and I were still friends, but he always hoped we'd get back together. I found that it made it really difficult on ME in my relationship. Honey didn't mind too much, but it felt bad to me, cus the ex used to guilt me, and used my soft spots against me (nice guy, eh?). It finally got so bad, I had to tell him to fly a fucking kite in a lightning storm.

 

[Dillinger]

If there was a strong bond then even after the relationship is over, the friendship should remain.

 

[Amaterasu]

it's a tough thing, and it totally depends on the situation. I'm superclose to my ex - can't wait to go to his wedding! The current gf isn't sooo keen on me, but I'm 3 hours away, not a threat to her at all.....

and i'm perpetually single, so no one on my end seems to care that I'm friends with him!

 

[Kymberley]

Yep!

My first love and I had a son together. We never stopped loving each other, but things at the time became more than either of us was willing to deal with.

Now, 16 years later, we are discussing putting our family back together and finally making this work.

Either way, we have always remained friends. I was friends with his girlfriend during all that time, but he didn't like my hubby or anyone I dated. Jealousy for him, but I understood why.

Being friends all those years have been good for our kids. They never heard us say a bad word about the other one. (my youngest is not his, but he would kill anyone that told him he was not his dad.)

 

[Guest]

 

[Mia62]

lemme be brutally honest for just a second... if you're calling someone your "ex" then that has a meaning of something in your past. Sometimes the past has a way of ramming you in the ass and not thinking twice about how much it hurts because it has been there before and knows you won't see it coming... My word of advice is... keep your ass covered at all times.

So does that mean that you can no longer be friends with them??

 

[Guest]

 

[Mia62]

Is there a true since of friendship when you are constantly looking for the final blow?

Yes. I can honestly say that one of my best friends is an ex. There are no more "blows" to be felt...he has moved on...I have moved on. We still get along incredibly well, tho.

 

[sanjuaneros]

My ex wife and I are freinds still. She is currently living here with me.

 

[Guest]

 

[lilminx]

So does that mean that you can no longer be friends with them??

I've never been married so I'm sure ex-spouses are a more difficult situation, but I'mstill good friends with one of my exes. We havea love-hate relationship, IMO. He might agree with you. Go ask him.

 

[freakygirl]

lemme be brutally honest for just a second... if you're calling someone your "ex" then that has a meaning of something in your past. Sometimes the past has a way of ramming you in the ass and not thinking twice about how much it hurts because it has been there before and knows you won't see it coming... My word of advice is... keep your ass covered at all times.

My ex and I are exes because of mistakes we made.. conclusions we bothed jumped to. By the time we figured out what was going on.. our divorce was final and he was engaged to be married to someone else.

I had also moved on. He thought I hated him..I thought he hated me. We were young and immature.

My ex husband was the one I turned to when my brother was killed and when my father died. My ex husband turned to me when his mother died. Yes, his wife was there.. but it was me that knew his mother much better than his wife. I understood the relationship they had.

My ex husband and I would still be married today, I think, if we both would have stopped and thought about how stupid we were acting. And how childish we allowed ourselves to be.

I still love my ex husband.. just not in the same way that I once did. He is a part of my life forever. We have kids together.. we do a lot of things together. We probably spend more time together now (with our other SOs) than we did when we were married.

I feel no need to cover my ass...

 

[bknight2602]

I don't know - I HATE my ex! Hence the divorce!

Ya what she said. ^^^^^^^

 

[Guru]

There's a thin line between love and hate. Is that a song?

 

[someplace]

My ex wife and I are freinds still. She is currently living here with me.

BB says we DO need to catch up! *grin*


Seriously, Mia, the best example I've ever seen of ex's being friends is Bluesboy and his ex-wife. He visits her and her hubby every so often for a very nice time. She's been known in the past to continually try to fix him up with her friends. After years and years they continue to be close.

After years and years my first ex and I came to a place where we are quite cordial. We are not friends, but can be pleasant. I will never ever be friends with #2. Just isn't ever going to happen.

 

[dgnr8469]

An interesting thought on exes

Wish I could take credit for this, but that belongs to James Marsters (aka: Spike) and the folks at "Buffy The Vampire Slayer"

"You're not friends. You'll never be friends! You'll be in love till it kills you both. And you'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be 'just friends.' Love isn't brains children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

 

[Mia62]

There's a thin line between love and hate. Is that a song?

Odd how some let those lines merge yet others can keep them separate.

 

[DuckLover]

I can only speak to the ex-gf level. My college gf and I broke up after 2 very serious years. I had a lot of difficulty with it, partly because we still saw each other nearly daily. We were still very good friends. She almost immediately began dating someone else, and because I hadn't yet fully accepted the break-up (emotionally) I was left with thoughts of "What the hell are you doing sleeping with my gf?!?" Now, 5 years later she and I are still good friends. Her fiance' (different guy) and I get along very well.

Another (earlier) ex I will not likely be friends with again. For one, we haven't seen each in years and I don't feel any need to seek her out. Two, while she didn't betray me, exactly, she did dump me in a very cold-hearted way. I carried that wound for over 3 years.

 

[sheath]

My boyfriend has some serious problems with my ex-boyfriends.

But he has no problem with my ex-husband. They are friends. I still haven't figured that one out, but I'm not one to throw miracles back, either.

Go figure...

S.