When writers get sloppy

[Aurora Black]

Wow... okay... big wow, admittedly... didn't know fanfic was such a huge no-no.

So, I guess you'll all hate me when I say I write Harry Potter slash and het fic as well?

*snickers* Truthfully, I don't care what I'm reading... it can be a damn cereal box. IF they screw it over THAT badly... I'm going to want to shove a six-inch stiletto heel up their ass and start doing the twist.

Oddly enough, I feel like I've just been flogged, crucified, burned, and then had my dead, desecrated, flaming ass reamed. With no lube!!!

So... the fanfic addict will just step out and keep her mouth shut now.

Oh, darn. I've just submitted some fanfic, so am I going to have to be on the lookout for nooses?

 

[Guest]

Oh, darn. I've just submitted some fanfic, so am I going to have to be on the lookout for nooses?

Malachite says no...

But me, I gotta car waiting with the engine running and the door open.

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[Guest]

A HP fanfic writer? You know, if you can write a decent story ending (or at least, better than Rowling can), you'll have a convert here!

Which part of that didn't you like? <smile>

You obviously know better than that. Relegate us snobs to the ranks of the unwashed, unappreciative masses (if you've not already done so) and keep on posting/writing.

It's true, he's just a big ol' bird. Give him some pellets and scritch under his feathers a little, and he'll fluff up and start clucking at you

 

[Guest]

A HP fanfic writer? You know, if you can write a decent story ending (or at least, better than Rowling can), you'll have a convert here!

Erm... well, all my stuff ends with Snape getting his arse kicked by a girl less than half his age and Draco and Harry shagging like fluffy bunnies. Or else dead.

Which part of that didn't you like? <smile>

I'm not sure if I should answer that... but it all went wrong when the lube never appeared.

You obviously know better than that. Relegate us snobs to the ranks of the unwashed, unappreciative masses (if you've not already done so) and keep on posting/writing.

I'm just being neurotic, as several darling friends pointed out. So, for those who want something GOOD in the fanfic realm to read, I'm recommending a couple places.

Harry Potter in all flavors, and look up Plumeria's stuff.
My addiction, although I vouch for no one but loveinaminor, dreamsinfiction, and phaelas.
Dreams In Fiction - Fanfic at it's most elaborate and beautiful
Read Riley's Pawn to Queen, you'll never see fanfic the same way again.

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[Guest]

All of that's true except for the clucking part, which I deeply resent. Chickens cluck, owls hoot. Follow this link for an example of one of the finer sounds you'll ever hear:

http://www.cheekwood.org/nature/audio/horned.html​

Keep in mind that the two pictures (owl and owl pellet) are not to scale.

My dear Owl, there is chicken clucking and happy-bird-being-scritched-under-the-feathers clucking. They are not the same. Chickens are annoying (even the ones with the feathered pajamas). The other kind is like cat-purrs.

One day I'll introduce you to my bloodsuckingbirdbeast. She goes from fierce to foolish in .2 when I scritch under her feathers, and she clucks -- little soft clucky noises -- cutest thing in the world. I've seen larger birds (macaws, African greys, and even a few raptors) do the same thing when they are 'in the mood'.

Or will we just have to hold you down and scritch under your feathers until you DO make those little clucky noises? Hmm??

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[3113]

Oddly enough, I feel like I've just been flogged, crucified, burned, and then had my dead, desecrated, flaming ass reamed. With no lube!!!

No, no, no! Haven't you been reading all these posts? Of course we'll use lube! Stella wouldn't let us ream anyone's ass without lube.

 

[Guest]

No, no, no! Haven't you been reading all these posts? Of course we'll use lube! Stella wouldn't let us ream anyone's ass without lube.

It's true. The edict has been made. There is ALWAYS time for lube.

 

[BlackShanglan]

That's one of the reasons I rarely if ever read FanFic. I know there are some good people working in it (Earl, for one), but fthere are too many people who are just captivated by the idea of fantasy fucking some pop star and think, for some reason, that the world is just waiting to read their masturbatory wet dream. These stories tend to be lame. If you don't know who the celebs are who getting plonked, they rarely hold up on their own, which somehow just seems dishonest to me--parasitic.

More than any other category, I think FanFic attracts some very bad writers.

I tend to see fanfic (both fictional character and celebrity fiction) the same way, but not because I think it can't be good (so never fear Angelshadow). I think it's just as Dr. M. puts it - there are good people writing fanfic, but it is one of those fields that draws more than its share of bad writers. In fact, now that I think about it, I'd say it's a lot like the "true story" stories, and for the same reasons. In both cases, people who might not ordinarily attempt a story sometimes try to write that genre because they think it will be easier. After all, part of the work is already done! In "true life" stories they think they don't need to think up a plot, because they already have one. In fanfic, some writers think they don't need to make up characters - they're already there!

In either case, of course, bad writers don't recognize that they still have to do all of the real work any writer would need to in carefully selecting and describing the parts of a story that really make a story or in building characters who are vibrant, lively, and real. Good fanfic writers recognize that these things still need to be done; they recognize that it's actually more of a challenge to make a vibrant, lively, human character and also play by someone else's rules in creating the personality and background. When it's done right, it's a great deal of fun, but of course there are no shortcuts.

Ironic, really. I almost never read fanfic/celebrity, and I confess that I rather dread it. What have I got up in the year-end votes? Basically, a celebrity piece. I console myself with convoluted justifications about the point after death at which people pass from "celebrity" to "dead guy."

**pats Aurora on the back**

Easy there, girl! Don't let Ogg's avantgarde ways upset you! He's just a rebel, a radical. He has no respect for long established erotic tradition where everone is the epitome of sexual desirousness, detailed in carefully measured dimensions, with perfect hair, lipstick that won't smudge, double bending limbs and erections that never flag.

Ogg, really, you should be more careful revealing your outre concoctions without warning to an unsuspecting public. Heavens, man, you might make someone think and hurt themselves!

My favorite heroine from my own work weighs about 900 pounds. Let's dress her up in Og's cake hat. It will go wonderfully with her ears.

Oh, please, no, not that! That's the absolute worst thing you could do to me, really. I doubt if I could take more than five or six hours of that horrible treatment. Well, maybe a few days, if room service was adequate.

No. Please. Not the briar patch.

Shanglan

 

[Stella_Omega]

No, no, no! Haven't you been reading all these posts? Of course we'll use lube! Stella wouldn't let us ream anyone's ass without lube.

Gawrsh, I feel so.. Influential! Very cool!

And dammit, I write fanfic myself, don't I? Only in a very few canons, mostly that revolve around my abject idolatry of one actor in particular and I could give a rat's ass about most anime and literary categories- I know a lot of wonderful people who write HP and I just don't... get it. I can't keep all those people straight in my head, I can't finish any of the books, and when people speculate on why Snape said THIS in one segment and THAT in another, my only answer is because... ummm.. she didn't care much about continuity.
But the HP fans do, and what I love about fanfic is the mountain of thought that goes into the best of it.
One of the great joys of reading fanfic- and, especially, well-written fic such as yours and a few other folk- ands even more especially about a character such as Sparrow, or Harry Potter, is the way the weight of each succcessive tale adds to the gravitas of the legend. It's such a shame the script writers couldn't mine the seams of these ideas!

"Jack, Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please.
They never caught him he never swung, no. Could be he never died, really."

"Nay- He went down with The Pearl."

"Never! He died of consumption, in Port-Au-Prince, leaving behind a bastard child."

"Now, how could that be? Didn't ye hear it, his mother was a mermaid."

"Explains a lot, that does!"

"Aye, and he went back to his family on the distaff side 'bout when the sails were losing ground to the filty burning engines..."

"Aye, that. 'Tis said young Will Turner shared his immortal soul wi' Jack, and bought him back from the Black queen of the fairies..."

"Jack Sparrow dead? Get on wi' ye!"

Let me introduce you to an excellent writer

also I once found some fic about an absurdist cartoon- slash that was funny, sexy and so true to the cartoon characters that it had me gasping with laughter- at least in the first couple of stories, After that it turned into angst and embarrassment

 

[minsue]

Somewhere I've got a scene of two people fucking where the guy can actually see the impression of his cockhead moving beneath her skin. It's total BS, but I thought it was sexy so I used it.

If the woman is scrawny enough and in the right position, you can see the movement of the cock beneath her skin. It isn't sexy, though. It's creepy as hell.

I do so love your reasoning, though.

 

[Guest]

If the woman is scrawny enough and in the right position, you can see the movement of the cock beneath her skin. It isn't sexy, though. It's creepy as hell.

I do so love your reasoning, though.

It is creepy!!!

And that's all I have to add about that...

*snickers* So much for sittign down and shutting up.

 

[3113]

If the woman is scrawny enough and in the right position, you can see the movement of the cock beneath her skin. It isn't sexy, though. It's creepy as hell.

It would certainly creep me out...the movie Alien comes to mind.

 

[minsue]

It's true. The edict has been made. There is ALWAYS time for lube.

 

[minsue]

*snickers* So much for sittign down and shutting up.

It's hard to do around here, isn't it?

 

[rgraham666]

A quick point unrelated to writing.

The simple fix for dandruff is vinegar. After shampooing, pour some on your hair, work it in and leave sit for 30 to 60 seconds. Rinse it off.

[/end threadjack]

 

[Stella_Omega]

A quick point unrelated to writing.

The simple fix for dandruff is vinegar. After shampooing, pour some on your hair, work it in and leave sit for 30 to 60 seconds. Rinse it off.

[/end threadjack]

Hmm, that's a new one to me! maybe it changes the PH?

 

[3113]

The simple fix for dandruff is vinegar. After shampooing, pour some on your hair, work it in and leave sit for 30 to 60 seconds. Rinse it off.

Would make your hair all silky soft, too!

 

[Guest]

Would make your hair all silky soft, too!

they smell, though...

Hrmm... Listerine works just as well.

 

[rgraham666]

Hmm, that's a new one to me! maybe it changes the PH?

That's my understanding. Cheap stuff, like apple cider vinegar works fine. And smells pretty good too.

 

[Guest]

How many people have written an erotic/romantic story where one or more of the main characters (who get to have sex/romantic encounters) are decidedly LESS than perfect, in particular less that PHYSICALLY perfect? What kind of imperfections did you give the characters? How did it -- or did it at all -- effect the story or the other characters?

 

[BlackShanglan]

How many people have written an erotic/romantic story where one or more of the main characters (who get to have sex/romantic encounters) are decidedly LESS than perfect, in particular less that PHYSICALLY perfect? What kind of imperfections did you give the characters? How did it -- or did it at all -- effect the story or the other characters?

She's a horse.

Worked for me.

I seem to have a habit of writing stories involving people who are completely physically wrong in some way - wrong gender, wrong species, what have you. I don't tend to be heavy on specific description, so there's not a lot of fine detail about people's weight or nose size, but I surely do love the major problems.

Shanglan

 

[Guest]

She's a horse.

Worked for me.

Shanglan

But she was a PERFECT horse, yes? Or did she have knocked knees or something? I made no stipulation about species.