When were you first attracted to D/s

[FurryFury]

I didn't know what it was, or that was, anything at all, really, but as far back as I can remember I've been playing with my dolls in a D/s way. I've also been having fantasies, constantly as far back as I can remember. Which were firmly in place by fourth grade, maybe sooner.

Sadly, it was only this past November I actually knew what all this was and started to act on it, a little in real life. Oh the wasted time and opportunities!

I've done a lot of exploring in online fantasy too.

I'm liking myself and sex, (which I always did like anyway, LOL!) a great deal more now.

Fury

 

[marieR19]

A little late replying to this, but my internet was down. I've always known in some way, just like with being gay, that I'm a submissive. I think the first time I got any kind of real "feel" for it was as early as fifth grade, when my best friend and I wrote a story and wanted to make it into a movie, with us acting out the two main characters. The main plot in this short story was blackmail, her character having control over everything my character did, otherwise my character would go to jail. And I loved it. I vividly remember how real it would feel when we acted it out, how much I liked the feeling of her being in control and yelling at me and ordering me around and stuff. There was never any physical punishment or whatever, but oh my god the feeling, it was amazing. I would say "let's practice more!" just so I could be ordered around and submit to her. Even though it was "acting", it felt very real, and I loved it.

Marie

 

[kerker_miester]

how I found D/s

I did not find my Dominant personality untill I was 42 since then I have recalled some dom daydreams I had as a youth, but dismissed them as wrong for me. I found myself when my wife of 16 years and I found our selves falling out of love(more her than me). We tried everything we could think of. Then a friend told us about BDSM after a time we tried it. It helped our sex life improve, our respect for each other improved, our trust in each other improved. I was supprised to find out how much I enjoyed dominating her and how much it excited me and her. Our only down fall was that we discovered it too late to save our love. Our love went to more of a friendship. Any way the rest is history. That is how I discovered I was a Dom. Thank you for helping me find myself before you asked me to leave. I will always love you as a friend, now I must move on. *shrugs* sorry people got carried away she reads lit from time to time

 

[FurryFury]

I did not find my Dominant personality untill I was 42 since then I have recalled some dom daydreams I had as a youth, but dismissed them as wrong for me. I found myself when my wife of 16 years and I found our selves falling out of love(more her than me). We tried everything we could think of. Then a friend told us about BDSM after a time we tried it. It helped our sex life improve, our respect for each other improved, our trust in each other improved. I was supprised to find out how much I enjoyed dominating her and how much it excited me and her. Our only down fall was that we discovered it too late to save our love. Our love went to more of a friendship. Any way the rest is history. That is how I discovered I was a Dom. Thank you for helping me find myself before you asked me to leave. I will always love you as a friend, now I must move on. *shrugs* sorry people got carried away she reads lit from time to time

Hi kerker-miester,

At first I found your story reassuring.
Then heart breaking.

*hugs*

Fury

 

[kerker_miester]

Hi kerker-miester,

At first I found your story reassuring.
Then heart breaking.

*hugs*

Fury

Hello Fury thank you for the hug
*hugs you back*
I did not mean to make you sad that is just how it happened. We are both talking on a regular basis with the other. Sometimes it happens that way. I hope i did not ruin you night Dont worry be Happy

 

[FurryFury]

Hello Fury thank you for the hug
*hugs you back*
I did not mean to make you sad that is just how it happened. We are both talking on a regular basis with the other. Sometimes it happens that way. I hope i did not ruin you night Dont worry be Happy

No, I'm fine, always fine.

It's just that we are just starting out on that road, my husband and I.
I don't know how far we will get.
Or what will happen.

I am writing a SRP about it too. It's called Whips and Chains Training Together.

I don't know if the Husband and Wife in that will end up together either.

Wait a minute.

I'm pretty confident my RL husband and I will stay together. Don't get me wrong. I'm just not sure if we will ever get to the BDSM level I'd like. One of the things I often wrestle with is if I should go ahead and do what he says I can or not.

Anyway, thanks for your concern and I LOVE that song! A lot of folks didn't I but I do!

*kisses and hugs*

Fury

 

[MechaBlade]

I have enjoyed the idea of humilated and submissive women since I was very young. I didn't really explore it as a fetish until I discovered more what a fetish was, around junior high and high school.

 

[roosterado9]

I never even thought of it, that I could have any attraction to domination and submission at all. I thought it's all about subs trowing themselfs in the dirt and the Doms walking on them to not get their prescious shoes dirty. In fact I really despise such behavior and the thought of the concept of punnishment is revolting to me. (Okay, I thought that way of anal too, and of domination at all until short. )
If you and your partners are happy that way, it's okay. I don't want to be offending, it's just that I don't want to have any experiences with it and have a bad feeling towards it.

I don't want to have full controll, in any part of my life but I was ever the one who got the things rolling. Every time there was a group of people I seemed to be the one in lead. Okay, I'm quite lazy but most times I'm one of the few who get things going and not one of the many who do as the others say. Now I'm in a very close friendship and we shared many of our fantasies and made plans to try them. Well, in fact it was me sharing my fantasies with her. I want to encourage her to use her imagination but if I offer her some things I could do to her I almost every time get the answer "As you like it." or "Choose you." At first it frustrated me because I felt like working hard to entertain her and in the end she doesn't like it or even worse, she's just pretending to like it to make me happy.

After thinking some time about it I think maybe she just likes to give all responsibilities away and hand them to me and likes to be surprised and to give all controll in someone elses hands.
What surprises me the most is that I really like that thought.
Many of my fantasies are things like having her full aproval of me tying her to the bed; caress every part of her body the way I think it should be done now and her being unable to do anything against it; licking her for hours until it gets torture; blindfolding her and making her unable to see what I'm going to do; making her telling me what she want's before she gets anything; and so on and on and on...
As much as I would like to do all this things I really have no desire to have them done to me. Yes, it very far from anything that could be called a bdsm lifestyle, but it's definately some kind of dominance.
I would not go that far that I would say I'm a latent Dom, but at least this is something I would like to know more about...

I am a passive man with huge fantasies to do what is described above to a T and to have them done to me

 

[Etoile]

My wife and I don't reach the level of D/s in our relationship that I desire, either. We've become poly as a result; it has been a mostly effective solution for us. We are a triad and my Daddy and I have a relationship totally founded on D/s, but my wife's relationship with my Daddy is only lightly BDSM at all and not particularly D/s because my wife prefers to be dominant too. Being in a poly triad has been difficult many times over, but I think it is worth exploring if one's primary relationship is not satisfactorily D/s-based and is at risk of dying. (That wasn't the case with my wife and I - our becoming poly wasn't a result of her not dominating me enough, it was something else, but I do think it's a reasonable option for those who are in that situation.)

 

[kerker_miester]

No, I'm fine, always fine.

It's just that we are just starting out on that road, my husband and I.
I don't know how far we will get.
Or what will happen.

I am writing a SRP about it too. It's called Whips and Chains Training Together.

I don't know if the Husband and Wife in that will end up together either.

Wait a minute.

I'm pretty confident my RL husband and I will stay together. Don't get me wrong. I'm just not sure if we will ever get to the BDSM level I'd like. One of the things I often wrestle with is if I should go ahead and do what he says I can or not.

Anyway, thanks for your concern and I LOVE that song! A lot of folks didn't I but I do!

*kisses and hugs*

Fury

I am glad some one else likes that song lol
I am also glad you are so sure about your marriage I do hope you both make it to 90 or more years of happiness, after what I went through I'd not wish that on anyone, and ours is very friendly. As to your lvl of BDSM I suggest you take it slow and never give up the idea that you may make it. As I do not know what he has told you you could do I really can not say weather you should or should not do it. I would say that if he has given you permission to do something that you normally would not do, if you are sure he is truly accepting it and is fine with it, go for it. It might help you fullfill your needs.

*enjoying the kisses and hugs*

kerker_miester

 

[FurryFury]

I am glad some one else likes that song lol
I am also glad you are so sure about your marriage I do hope you both make it to 90 or more years of happiness, after what I went through I'd not wish that on anyone, and ours is very friendly. As to your lvl of BDSM I suggest you take it slow and never give up the idea that you may make it. As I do not know what he has told you you could do I really can not say weather you should or should not do it. I would say that if he has given you permission to do something that you normally would not do, if you are sure he is truly accepting it and is fine with it, go for it. It might help you fullfill your needs.

*enjoying the kisses and hugs*

kerker_miester

Hi kerker_miester!

More for you!

*hugs and kisses*

Thanks for your words of encouragement. As someone who had a horrible first marriage, this one though not perfect is by comparison, pure heaven. As I said before he is a very deep thinker. So far he has never let me down by telling me something about how he would act or feel, then pulling the rug out from under me and we have been together 15 years.

Still, what he says I can do? Is cheat or bring in another, perhaps more than one "if I feel a deep need to that I can't deny." Frankly I'm not sure I can do either one. I have a lot of inhibitions still, in particular showing my body and being with others seems hard, to get past. I do think if I did this, our marriage would survive. I think it might well be stressed though.

Much of the time I don't know what I would feel or do until I am in a situation. I can theorize but no I don't conclusively say as he does, what I will and won't feel and do. If he told me no, this would be a problem however I would shut all this down fast no matter what I wanted or felt. He and this marriage are that important to me.

My impulse is that if I could get past my hangs up, I would only want to do this if he were involved too. He seems to prefer the idea of me doing these things on my own. Which leads me to think he either has no real desire and in simply humoring me. or is somewhat voyeuristic yet only wishes to hear about it later.

In either case, I'm not down with that. Yes, I have impulses I do not act on. I am attracted to many, many people. There are people I would love to touch. I see them everywhere. I want to reach out and trace their forms with my hands. I want to make them change. I want to take their stress worn visages and transform them into ones that smile like contented and well loved cats.

Then there are the ones that seem content and serene that I just want to experience. In most cases, they give me little signs of interest too.

To date I have never cheated and never intended to. Yet my husband has often said, even before I expressed any interest in it that I could and he would forgive me. I have always been puzzled about that but the fact is I don't want to need forgiveness, not ever. I don't believe in it.

The fact is also that at some point I won't be able to physically follow my impulses. I'm not getting any younger. Also some day I won't be able to attract (both sexes) as I now do.

So we shall see where we go from here. I'm just going to slow down and step back. I think I've been going much too fast though it seems slow to one such as I. LOL.

Fury

 

[Etoile]

To date I have never cheated and never intended to. Yet my husband has often said, even before I expressed any interest in it that I could and he would forgive me. I have always been puzzled about that but the fact is I don't want to need forgiveness, not ever. I don't believe in it.

This is truly tough. From personal experience I think it is best to ignore statements like "I wouldn't mind if you slept around" - your partner cannot know how they will react until it has happened. They may have been in similar situations before, but every relationship is different and they may be very upset where they thought they would be completely comfortable.

 

[FurryFury]

This is truly tough. From personal experience I think it is best to ignore statements like "I wouldn't mind if you slept around" - your partner cannot know how they will react until it has happened. They may have been in similar situations before, but every relationship is different and they may be very upset where they thought they would be completely comfortable.

Hi Etoile!

Thanks for your comment. I agree. That is what I think too. Though as I said he knows himself very well. I don't understand his motivation for saying this, over and over.

BTW, you are very beautiful, but you knew that, I'm sure.

*hugs*

Fury