When truth is stranger than fiction

[Rob_Royale]

I'm not the sort that offers unsolicited advice, unless your one of my kids. But I went to a wedding today and it was one of those 'stranger than fiction' situations.

My wife is across the country right now attending her brothers wedding and I stayed home to take care of the farm. And attend the wedding of one of her coworkers, where I knew no nearly no one except the groom and him only in passing. It was an hour out into the country at a farm. I don't know if you've ever attended a low-budget country wedding, but I assure you it's not something to be missed.

There was no chicken or beef choice on the RSVP letter, but rather the bricket or no brisket on your mac and cheese melt, that was prepared by a food truck. It was the sort of gathering that included two rather well endowed ladies openly breastfeeding their children and tequila shots before the cake cutting. The outdoor ceremony was picturesque, but at the same time, 30 feet from a chicken coop. And there were people of all flavors. The slutty bridesmaid, who was on her way to drunk before the first dance, a fellow with a real leather eyepatch, a few facial tattoos, the grumpy ex-husband of the bride, the morbidly obese woman in a scooter and a half dozen women dressed to find a man, trying to navigate the outdoor location in a pair of fuck-me heels. It was a stetson or ball cap sort of affair for the men, with flannel and denim being the choice of most.

Now I'm not bringing this up to make fun of them, but to showcase the novelty of it. A wedding is damn expensive, those sandwiches were outasight and I had a hell of good time, filling in for my wife. I'm glad I went.
As for my unsolicited advice, it's to you, my fellow writers. When this shit happens, write it down. I got home an hour ago and immediately filled two pages with anecdotes from the afternoon. Because someday they will end up in a story.

Now, I'm going to kick back and enjoy my party favors. Ya'll have a good night.

 

[DeMont]

I'm not the sort that offers unsolicited advice, unless your one of my kids. But I went to a wedding today and it was one of those 'stranger than fiction' situations.

My wife is across the country right now attending her brothers wedding and I stayed home to take care of the farm. And attend the wedding of one of her coworkers, where I knew no nearly no one except the groom and him only in passing. It was an hour out into the country at a farm. I don't know if you've ever attended a low-budget country wedding, but I assure you it's not something to be missed.

There was no chicken or beef choice on the RSVP letter, but rather the bricket or no brisket on your mac and cheese melt, that was prepared by a food truck. It was the sort of gathering that included two rather well endowed ladies openly breastfeeding their children and tequila shots before the cake cutting. The outdoor ceremony was picturesque, but at the same time, 30 feet from a chicken coop. And there were people of all flavors. The slutty bridesmaid, who was on her way to drunk before the first dance, a fellow with a real leather eyepatch, a few facial tattoos, the grumpy ex-husband of the bride, the morbidly obese woman in a scooter and a half dozen women dressed to find a man, trying to navigate the outdoor location in a pair of fuck-me heels. It was a stetson or ball cap sort of affair for the men, with flannel and denim being the choice of most.

Now I'm not bringing this up to make fun of them, but to showcase the novelty of it. A wedding is damn expensive, those sandwiches were outasight and I had a hell of good time, filling in for my wife. I'm glad I went.
As for my unsolicited advice, it's to you, my fellow writers. When this shit happens, write it down. I got home an hour ago and immediately filled two pages with anecdotes from the afternoon. Because someday they will end up in a story.

Now, I'm going to kick back and enjoy my party favors. Ya'll have a good night.

View attachment 2570561

@Rob_Royale,
Okay dear colleague, I'll play.

@Rob_Royale,
Okay dear colleague, I'll play.

Some years ago I was asked to be the MC at a wedding of two friends. The groom was Anglo-Indian(Pan Asian Indian) and the bride was Anglo-Greek. So, there we were at the venue and it filled up. I went up on the stage and the first thing I noticed was that all the Indian relatives were on the right side of the room and all the Greek contingent were on the left. 'This'll never do' I thought so, to break the ice, I asked everyone to stand, with their place cards. Then I asked half of the Indian contingent to swap sides with the Greek contingent and separate themselves one space apart around the tables.

After a general period of chaos I had everyone seated and then I asked them to introduce themselves, and how they knew the bride and groom, to the person to their right. They did this and we got rolling with the night.

Well, cut a long story short have you ever seen Indian folks doing Ouzo shots with excitable Greek fellows and a big circle of Greek and Indian folks, where the drunks outweighed the non-drunk, trying to do the 'Zorba The Greek' dance...! Let's just say "The bodies hit the floor"...

Afterwards I got as many thanks for the night as the bride, groom and their families did.
True story, cross my heart.
Respectfully,
D.

 

[Erozetta]

I'm not the sort that offers unsolicited advice, unless your one of my kids. But I went to a wedding today and it was one of those 'stranger than fiction' situations.

My wife is across the country right now attending her brothers wedding and I stayed home to take care of the farm. And attend the wedding of one of her coworkers, where I knew no nearly no one except the groom and him only in passing. It was an hour out into the country at a farm. I don't know if you've ever attended a low-budget country wedding, but I assure you it's not something to be missed.

There was no chicken or beef choice on the RSVP letter, but rather the bricket or no brisket on your mac and cheese melt, that was prepared by a food truck. It was the sort of gathering that included two rather well endowed ladies openly breastfeeding their children and tequila shots before the cake cutting. The outdoor ceremony was picturesque, but at the same time, 30 feet from a chicken coop. And there were people of all flavors. The slutty bridesmaid, who was on her way to drunk before the first dance, a fellow with a real leather eyepatch, a few facial tattoos, the grumpy ex-husband of the bride, the morbidly obese woman in a scooter and a half dozen women dressed to find a man, trying to navigate the outdoor location in a pair of fuck-me heels. It was a stetson or ball cap sort of affair for the men, with flannel and denim being the choice of most.

Now I'm not bringing this up to make fun of them, but to showcase the novelty of it. A wedding is damn expensive, those sandwiches were outasight and I had a hell of good time, filling in for my wife. I'm glad I went.
As for my unsolicited advice, it's to you, my fellow writers. When this shit happens, write it down. I got home an hour ago and immediately filled two pages with anecdotes from the afternoon. Because someday they will end up in a story.

Now, I'm going to kick back and enjoy my party favors. Ya'll have a good night.

View attachment 2570561

This was similar to my first experience at a "real" wedding vs one of those country affairs (only we didn't have food trucks, guests all brought a dish and the cake was homemade by someone's auntie, whether by blood or in name only.)

It was super buttoned up, prim and proper. There were sections to the ceremony itself, and I was bored to fucking tears. Super Catholic wedding with prayers and dedications. SOOO long.

The difference between what I was used to vs the formality of what was the opposite of what I was used to was stark. And cemented my idea for my own nuptials:

Standing at the beach with my husband and the officiant and absolutely no one else. It was blissful. I wore jeans, and we got a discount from the officiant because we basically skipped the whole ceremony part after I fucked up the ring/vow part and asked if we could simply sign the paperwork.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

@Rob_Royale,
Some years ago I was asked to be the MC at a wedding of two friends ...

Hey, I was there! You're ...

Just kidding.


Challenge accepted. I'll tell that story after I finish my WiP.

--Annie

 

[THBGato]

My wife and I accidentally made a profit on our wedding. We didn't mean to, but we told everyone to NOT give us presents and instead bring something for the buffet (which turned out to be amazing). However, many people ignored us and slipped some cash into the wedding cards. As we'd invited 180 people, that turned out to be a significant amount.

My sister is a jeweler and made the rings and other jewelry as her gift to us; the venue we got for free as I used to work for them; my parents and wife's parents brought us our outfits as a gift; her ex-stepdad drove a van full of booze over from France; the photographer was an ex of mine and refused payment; the bands (3) and DJs (3) for the reception were all friends and refused to accept any payment, as were the musicians and choir for the ceremony; I borrowed the PA from my work; the officiant owed my wife a favour so did the ceremony at cost. In the end we received more money (nearly twice the amount) in cash gifts than we actually spent from our own pockets.

If anyone needs tips on how to do a wedding cheaply, hit me up!

 

[SimonDoom]

I haven't been to a particularly quirky wedding like that, but I played Santa Claus at a pet shop once. I was loosely associated with an animal adoption organization and they needed somebody. So I was the sucker who said 'yes.' Put the full costume on. I was in my 30s at the time, so I looked ridiculous as Santa.

I sat in a chair and people put their dogs in my lap and I'd ask the dogs what they wanted for Christmas while the owners snapped photos.

I'm just thankful I got through that stint without any of the dogs peeing on me.

I'd count it as "stranger than fiction," because, really, I couldn't dream that up if I tried. Like, WTF.

Thank god it was before contemporary social media, so I couldn't go viral as dog Santa.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I haven't been to a particularly quirky wedding like that, but I played Santa Claus at a pet shop once. I was loosely associated with an animal adoption organization and they needed somebody. So I was the sucker who said 'yes.' Put the full costume on. I was in my 30s at the time, so I looked ridiculous as Santa.

I sat in a chair and people put their dogs in my lap and I'd ask the dogs what they wanted for Christmas while the owners snapped photos.

I'm just thankful I got through that stint without any of the dogs peeing on me.

I'd count it as "stranger than fiction," because, really, I couldn't dream that up if I tried. Like, WTF.

Thank god it was before contemporary social media, so I couldn't go viral as dog Santa.

There's a story in that, probably in "mature".

Widow brings her dog to get his picture with Santa, dog pees on Santa.
Lady feels incredibly guilty about it, insists on paying for the dry cleaning....

 

[alohadave]

This was similar to my first experience at a "real" wedding vs one of those country affairs (only we didn't have food trucks, guests all brought a dish and the cake was homemade by someone's auntie, whether by blood or in name only.)

It was super buttoned up, prim and proper. There were sections to the ceremony itself, and I was bored to fucking tears. Super Catholic wedding with prayers and dedications. SOOO long.

The difference between what I was used to vs the formality of what was the opposite of what I was used to was stark. And cemented my idea for my own nuptials:

Standing at the beach with my husband and the officiant and absolutely no one else. It was blissful. I wore jeans, and we got a discount from the officiant because we basically skipped the whole ceremony part after I fucked up the ring/vow part and asked if we could simply sign the paperwork.

For our first wedding, we had a JoP marry us on the beach with friends and our reception was in a friend's carport.

The big church wedding several weeks later was for our families. We went to her hometown and did the church wedding and big reception.

The interesting thing was that my wife's priorities had completely changed after the first wedding, and the second one was a lot more laid back because all the pressure was off since we had already done the deed.

 

[TheLobster]

My wife and I accidentally made a profit on our wedding.

Have you checked whether or not, after factoring in the legal costs of a divorce, you could perhaps repeat this scheme and turn it into a sustainable business model?

 

[Erozetta]

For our first wedding, we had a JoP marry us on the beach with friends and our reception was in a friend's carport.

The big church wedding several weeks later was for our families. We went to her hometown and did the church wedding and big reception.

The interesting thing was that my wife's priorities had completely changed after the first wedding, and the second one was a lot more laid back because all the pressure was off since we had already done the deed.

our initial plan was a "public" ceremony after our private one, but we never bothered. Word got out and everyone was mad at me for not inviting them, even though I didn't invite anyone. Asking if they would've come if I had invited them ended with scoffs and excuses, lol. At that point it was like... yeah, I'm not spending money to entertain these people. Fuck them.

And I lived happily ever after.

As far as "Stranger than Truth" interactions... All of mine would end up in a horror story, not erotica, lol.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I haven't been to a particularly quirky wedding like that,

Quirky?

In what way.


Sounds entirely normal to me.

 

[Djmac1031]

I was a wedding DJ for over 20 years. Trust me, I've seen it all

 

[MrPixel]

I'll throw our "quirky" wedding out on the table here. Let's start at the beginning. You might want to read the 750-word story A Sudden Darkness first, which will give you a clue about our take on life. It is a true story of one of our many adventures. Including the horseflies.

Our first date - and I mean first date - was at a nudist resort. We had connected at a theater performance afterparty the previous weekend, discovered our mutual California roots and experiences with the "free beaches" out there, so the date at such a venue was a wistful recollection. (Didn't touch each other!)

We were dating about two years. We hadn't moved in together at this point, mostly spending nights at each other's place. She got the bad news that an ovary had developed a fibrous mass and had to be removed. I offered to move her and her dog into my condo for her convalescence. I was in her hospital room as she was awakening from the anesthesia, and we lightly cuddled on the bed. The nurses were amused in an "Awwww..." kind of way. I proposed to her. She accepted. Problem was she was so groggy she didn't remember, so I had to repeat the offer the next day. Still gladly accepted. Whew. We set the date for July 3rd to take advantage of it being a 4-day weekend that year. Three months away.

There was a small town about two hours north of Atlanta known for the JoP as a marryin' judge. Wedding day breakfast was at a Waffle House en route. Our finery amused the crowd (just a nice dress for her), and the country crowd's reactions amused us.

Second funny of the day was the semi-truck tractor parked in front of the courthouse with "Just Married" scrawled on the back of the cab and cans tied to the mudflap brackets. We walk in, are directed to the JoP's clerk, who has us "take a number." She then directs us to the small clinic across the street from the courthouse. Blood tests (syphilis) were required then. The clinic was in a small house where you could get the test done, with results in just a few minutes.

Third funny was the couple in the waiting room standing by for their results. She had to have been 16 or 17 and adorable, he was a seriously grizzled 35-40. Nurse calls her up to the window, softly telling her, "I'm sorry sweetie, but you can't get married today. Your fella needs to see a doctor and get better first." C and I agreed it was a ruse to save the little girl from herself.

We took our "all negative" paperwork back across to the courthouse and clerk; she takes our number ticket, "You're next." We're shown into the judge's modest chambers and take our seats. It was more or less an interview, culminating in his making hard eye contact with her, "Do you really want to do this?" Suppressing our laughter at the fourth funny for the day, we were pronounced "man and wife," with "My clerk has your marriage license. Pick it up on the way out." No friends there, no witnesses, just us and the JoP.

The quirky didn't end there. Our "reception dinner" of just the two of us was at a Shoney's (like a Denny's, but peculiar to the South, and not as "fancy"), and our wedding cake was, of course, their "Hot Fudge Cake."

Honeymoon was at a nearby "adult" motel, so you can imagine what that setting was like. No, we didn't recruit, it was just us, but there was a little teasing in the public hot tub.

We look back on this day very, very fondly, and our 36 years together make it that much sweeter.

 

[dirk2024]

The unique wedding I attended was that of my niece, many years ago. It was in a forested locale, many miles from any city on a friends property. The highlights were a portable pizza oven and the "ice chest". We took a canoe and dumped many bags of ice in it, then beers and soda's. Definitely a statement piece.