When hags fall in love with their fags

[Archer04]

Hello folks

I wonder if I could trouble you over something rather humiliating: that despite all efforts I'm in love with my best friend, "J". We're both in relationships at the moment, and I'm trying to figure out what's triggered this. Subconsciously comparing J to my sweet but very serious boyfriend? Or the fact that J may be in love for the first time and I'm jealous?

Well, what's worse: a) to confess to him, ruin the friendship, and leave both of us without the support we've had for years OR b) to be something of a martyr, continue to encourage him to be true to himself in a country town where gays get bashed daily, then bite back the rampaging jealousy when I know he's with a man?

If I just need a good kick for being stupid, be my guest.

I'm also wondering why does this doesn't seem to happen to others. Every gay man I know has a circle of female friends; most of these men are attractive and charming. They don't complain about their friends becoming besotted. What do you do to deter women whose feelings don't listen to what their brain tells them?

Feeling very alone.

 

[glamorilla]

not easy.

speaking from personal experience unrequited crushes of any kind can be cruel drugs.

if you and your friend are both involved it could be as easy as you two spending less time together and you're just missing his company and attention.

remember you're friends and try and be happy he found someone.

you too.

 

[John Doe]

I can't tell if this thread is offensive to "hags," fags," or both. Well, in any case I'm sure it will either be removed or edited due to its homophobic content soon.

 

[Queersetti]

I can't tell if this thread is offensive to "hags," fags," or both. Well, in any case I'm sure it will either be removed or edited due to its homophobic content soon.

This thread contains no offensive or homophobic content.

 

[John Doe]

This thread contains no offensive or homophobic content.

No shit? I could've sworn "fag" was a homophobic slur. My bad.

 

[Queersetti]

No shit? I could've sworn "fag" was a homophobic slur. My bad.

Context counts.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Hello folks

I wonder if I could trouble you over something rather humiliating: that despite all efforts I'm in love with my best friend, "J". We're both in relationships at the moment, and I'm trying to figure out what's triggered this. Subconsciously comparing J to my sweet but very serious boyfriend? Or the fact that J may be in love for the first time and I'm jealous?

Well, what's worse: a) to confess to him, ruin the friendship, and leave both of us without the support we've had for years OR b) to be something of a martyr, continue to encourage him to be true to himself in a country town where gays get bashed daily, then bite back the rampaging jealousy when I know he's with a man?

If I just need a good kick for being stupid, be my guest.

I'm also wondering why does this doesn't seem to happen to others. Every gay man I know has a circle of female friends; most of these men are attractive and charming. They don't complain about their friends becoming besotted. What do you do to deter women whose feelings don't listen to what their brain tells them?

Feeling very alone.

ahhh darlin you are NOT alone.

My very first boy friend came out to me when we in high school. He told me that he loved me and that if he could not feel sexual with me then he just was not meant to be with any woman.

Of course I supported him (still do and this is damn near 14 years later) BUT it hurt and I did not stop loving him or wanting him sexually for YEARS afterward.

The fact that we as women can talk to gay males WITHOUT having to put up a front makes them attractive to us. The fact that he is also your good friend means that you trust him whole-heartedly..what's NOT to love?

In all reality do not ruin your friendship by putting your emotions out there. More than likely he has felt the difference and chooses to not say anything out of respect for you.

You can love him, and suffer in silence...because eventually the suffering will go away...especially if you REALLY love him, I promise.


pet