When do you think you will die?

[BlueSugar]

How long do you think you will live?

I'm so used to posting on the GB, and I hate to double thread - but I'm curious.

Post here, Post on the GB, doesn't matter to me- I just want your opinions and discussion

 

[Lynxie]

Average in your lifestyle decisions, dietary, and family health history...think of a number.


How do you think you will die?

edited to add:
Have you made or thinking about making, or even sat down and had a real conversation about a Living Will or what you would want in old age vegetable portion of your life?

Have you talked to or know any vivacious elderly people who are 80 and walking 5 miles a day - what kind of things do they tell you?

Or have you been around an elderly person on their way "out"? Have you witnessed any odd phonemonia... like ghosts, or really believed in their talking about talking to dead people and seeing white lights etc... ?

Experiences, discuss.

That's an intriguing question, Blue. I suppose with my medical history thus far (both physical and mental), I guess I'm kind of surprised I'm still around. Having flirted with suicide in the past, I've sort of adopted a weird habit of not being able to look very far into the future. It's pretty sad, not knowing where I'll be in five years or fifty years (or even if I'll be).

I just can't assign a number to it - when I was 16, I didn't expect to make it to 18. When I was 18, I had doubts that I'd make it through a year of college. Now I'm 24, and I still don't know where my life is going. This is a huge problem in my life, I know - If I could just get my brain to start thinking and planning in terms of the future, I bet my life could be a lot better. I'd probably take better care of myself and I'd probably find more motivation to find employment. I've only just recently realized that this is one of the fundamental things that's holding me back in life, and it's something I'm starting to work on, slowly. I want to make a future for myself.

Aging and death do not scare me. I know a number of elderly folks who are in great health. My former neighbors belonged to a gym and went every morning to swim and play raquetball. They also travelled the world - took one big trip each year. They attribute their good health to staying positive and happy throughout their lives.

I've also seen the other extreme: people who die too young because they didn't take care of themselves. They let their unhappiness get so bad it turned physical and ate away at them until they couldn't take it anymore. Given my current battle with depression, this scares me. I look at myself and I see characteristics that could lead to such a downfall. But, in recognizing it for what it is, I'm hoping to make changes in my life to prevent that from happening.

I have been at the bedsides of a few loved ones at the moments they passed on. I can't say I saw any ghosts, but I did feel them passing. At the risk of sounding too weird, I've always been very sensitive to energies and things unseen. It's kind of hard to describe - I'm not psychic, nor do I see spirits or anything... I think I'm just a little more tuned-in to my surroundings and instincts than a lot of people are.

In terms of making a will, I haven't done it yet. But I have discussed my wishes with my husband with regards to life support and burial. I do not want to be kept on life support if there's little or no chance of my being revived to 'normal,' and I would prefer to be cremated (at least my ashes can go back to the earth, instead of having a body in a cement box that's unable to properly decompose). Yeah, I'm only 24 - but when you don't have any expectations for the future, these are the types of things that you think about. It's kinda like you skip all the living stuff and your thoughts turn right to death.

Sorry for the long post - I swear I'm going to win an award someday for being one of Lit's most long-winded posters.

 

[BlueSugar]

Sorry for the long post - I swear I'm going to win an award someday for being one of Lit's most long-winded posters.

no no, keep it coming! That was refreshing, though morbid the topic is, hearing thought out answers, and honest answers is a good thing - it really benefits the board.

 

[Bobmi357]

Its a morbid topic to say the least.

Lynxie, the best advice I can probably tell you is to live for today. Spending too much time dwelling on what may be can be very depressing. We're all given only a short time on this planet to make a mark. So try to make your mark every day.

I came to the conclusion a long time ago, that when its your turn to go, its your turn. And there is little you can do about it. I've seen people keel over dead in their 30's from heart attacks, and doctors yelling at 97 yr olds to stop drinking and smoking. The guy that started the jogging craze in america croaked at the ripe old age of 51 from a heart attack that jogging was supposed to prevent for him.

Death is the great unknown. Fear of it has fed the religions of the world for centuries. People fear death, hell I fear death. No sane person wouldn't. One of the reasons why an existential lifestyle is so repugnant to many people is because it trivializes our lives. People are afraid that the concept of death being the end of it all, belittles their lives, hence they reach out to belief systems which foster a belief in an afterlife, even if it means reincarnation and coming back as a swamp rat.

Personally I don't have any answers. I don't know when I'll die, its not something I think much about. Frankly with all the people on these boards that are suffering from depression, I'm not even sure its a good idea to actively discuss it.

 

[BlueSugar]

Its a morbid topic to say the least.

Frankly with all the people on these boards that are suffering from depression, I'm not even sure its a good idea to actively discuss it.

It is only as morbid as one makes it. I'm not talking decomposing in a box in the ground. I wont even go over the 70 something affects of ageing and how it affects our health/apperance. I wont mention how almost every effect can be avoided or kept at bay for a really long time. Then there is family history and how a person puts up with life.

But life isn't about putting up with things and dealing with things, or even surviving ... it is about living. Surviving isn't a way to live at all.
As for all the depressed on the board - this could put certain things into perspective. It is a different way to look at things other then just 'ending' them but turning them for the better. This thread has the potential to move in many directions .. it doesn't need to die.
I also carefully asked for the healthy, positive aspects of death... it is a natural process after all.

Too many people want to push it away into a home or hospital, it is a norm in cultures that do so... no one wants to think about it when it isn't even a part of the culture anymore, it is even not so much associated with living or the life process at all -- too many people are stuck in the now and do not look towards the future, which is a simple thing to do for many many reasons. And, I am not discounting the "instant gratification" movement going on either.

 

[Mermaid]

I used to think (as early as 13) I would die or have some sort of major health issue to deal with around 30. As I turn 29 this week, I'll keep you posted! (I really don't want to be in the "I told you so" category on this one.)

I have had flashes of my life seeing myself a bit older, so not sure what I think anymore.

I always know the moment someone close to me dies. It really is an unfortunate thing. Don't want it, but it's there. I have also felt the presence of spirits of some of said nearly and dearly departed. Very freaky, but oddly pleasant in a way.

I have great aunts that are nearing 90 and are still quite mentally vigarous. They take and often chew their vitamins daily and eat apples for breakfast. I also have others that have alzheimers.

I really do live for today, and plan for the future just a little. I believe I'll die when I die and to not live in fear of that. On the other hand, I also give genuine hugs to those I care about and make sure my loved ones know they are so.

No one gets to the end of their life, thinking they loved too much, expressed too much, traveled too much, or sexed too much (ok, maybe a few here), or lived too much. So do the things that are important to you and let your clock wind down on it's own.

 

[Lynxie]

Too many people want to push it away into a home or hospital, it is a norm in cultures that do so... no one wants to think about it when it isn't even a part of the culture anymore, it is even not so much associated with living or the life process at all -- too many people are stuck in the now and do not look towards the future, which is a simple thing to do for many many reasons.

It's interesting how we (in Western societies, at least) have gotten to this point in our social evolution where we push aside the elderly. In many ancient societies, the elderly were revered. Aging and death were viewed quite differently - it was an honor to grow old, and death was a wonderful passage to the next stage of your existence.

And that was when it was rough for people to survive. The elderly were extra mouths to feed, extra bodies to care for that couldn't give much but wisdom and stories back to the people. Funny how we have all these modern technologies to make caring for people easier, yet we now choose to push away our elders.

I think that's one of the only things that truly scares me about growing old one day - being shoved aside to some nursing facility and left alone.

 

[BlueSugar]

I think that's one of the only things that truly scares me about growing old one day - being shoved aside to some nursing facility and left alone.

many cultures still hold the elderly near and dear because they know that they are the essence of the culture.

as for being alone and fearing death - they are (hospitals) now giving E (aka X) to teriminally ill patients basically waiting to die... it helps them not fear death (and all those other lovely things that the pill does). Funny how things come full circle.

 

[Lynxie]

as for being alone and fearing death - they are (hospitals) now giving E (aka X) to teriminally ill patients basically waiting to die... it helps them not fear death (and all those other lovely things that the pill does). Funny how things come full circle.

Interesting. I wasn't aware.

I'm sure it does help - but I really don't like that we in America feel the need to medicate all of our problems away.

 

[BlueSugar]

Interesting. I wasn't aware.

I'm sure it does help - but I really don't like that we in America feel the need to medicate all of our problems away.

most medications just supress symptoms and don't get to the root of the problem and fix them ... allowing what is actually wrong to wreak havoc and chaos on our systems. I'm not all about herbal remedies, and tree hugging - but there are way better ways to deal with most of our problems then popping a pill given to us by doctors.

 

[Mermaid]

most medications just supress symptoms and don't get to the root of the problem and fix them ... allowing what is actually wrong to wreak havoc and chaos on our systems. I'm not all about herbal remedies, and tree hugging - but there are way better ways to deal with most of our problems then popping a pill given to us by doctors.

Agreed. There's a book called "UltraPrevention" by some docs that believe in going back to the root cause of everything. Their process works very well for their patients.

Too often the science replaces the medicine in medical science...

 

[Eilan]

I don't worry about my own death as much as I worry about something happening to my loved ones. I probably should, though, because if I were to die tomorrow, it would likely create a custody battle for my two older children, and NOBODY needs that! I REALLY need a will. . .

My husband will likely be retiring from his job (law enforcement) this summer. Though he's a supervisor and therefore not out on the road as much as he used to be, there's always a remote possibility that SOMETHING could happen. Sometimes, if I let myself think about it too much, I'll worry about what might happen to the kids and me (we have two toddlers, plus my daughters from my first marriage) if he were to get hit by a car or shot or something. When I was pregnant, I really worried about the dangers of his job, but I think that I was feeling extra vulnerable because of those damn pregnancy hormones.

My husband's grandfather died in 2002, about three months after his 106th birthday. He was in excellent health until the last two or three months of his life. I don't know if I want to live to be that old, unless I can be in excellent health and not lose any of my kids.

So, BlueSugar, I don't know if that answers any of your questions or not, but this is what your thread made me think about.

 

[Gil_T2]

Death has not been a fear for me since i was 21 & was clinically dead 3 times with the whole bright light & out of body thing so death it's self hold no fear in me at all.As for when death does cum that to holds no interest to me as I'm not in any hurry for it although I do have a mass of health problems including end stage renal falure I have the love of a wonderful lady that makes living & coping with my problems easy & i'm now 52 so get on with living as death will eventually arrive wether it wanted or not, make the very best of what you have & fuck the rest.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

I already passed the year that I thought I'd die..
Had a dream when I was a teen that it would be in 2001...

Damn near came true.........

 

[Mermaid]

get on with living as death will eventually arrive wether it wanted or not, make the very best of what you have & fuck the rest.

Now, there's the best advice... Thanks Gil!

I've survived things that should have killed me... many times. Ugh. So maybe I'm a cat girl in desquise...

 

[Mermaid]

I already passed the year that I thought I'd die..
Had a dream when I was a teen that it would be in 2001...

Damn near came true.........

Aww... MT, I, for one, am glad you're still with us.

I'm curious how it almost came true...

 

[Lynxie]

I already passed the year that I thought I'd die..
Had a dream when I was a teen that it would be in 2001...

Damn near came true.........

I have dreams about dying all the time. I know this isn't uncommon, but from what I've heard most people wake up at the moment of death in their dreams. I don't - in my dreams I see a few moments of blackness, then blinding white light. Only when I start to move through the light do I wake up.

Usually I dream about flipping my car off a cliff or bridge. I'm wondering if this has happened in a past life (yeah, I do believe in reincarnation, as well as an afterlife) or possibly could be how I'm going to go out this time around. On two separate occassions I was caught in the midst of some sort of fighting and gunned to death. I'm hoping that I just have an overactive subconscious, as neither of those scenarios seems like a very good way to die.

 

[Mermaid]

I'm hoping that I just have an overactive subconscious, as neither of those scenarios seems like a very good way to die.

Maybe you're not seeing your own death.

Maybe your subconcious works out the negative energy so you can rule those out as nightmares while awake...

Maybe you're sensitive to something you ate or watched or touched. You could try having your food sensitivities tested.

At any rate, you proved that you can die in a dream and still wake up! Myth: Busted!

 

[SweetErika]

I don't worry about my own death as much as I worry about something happening to my loved ones. I probably should, though, because if I were to die tomorrow, it would likely create a custody battle for my two older children, and NOBODY needs that! I REALLY need a will. . .

My husband will likely be retiring from his job (law enforcement) this summer. Though he's a supervisor and therefore not out on the road as much as he used to be, there's always a remote possibility that SOMETHING could happen. Sometimes, if I let myself think about it too much, I'll worry about what might happen to the kids and me (we have two toddlers, plus my daughters from my first marriage) if he were to get hit by a car or shot or something. When I was pregnant, I really worried about the dangers of his job, but I think that I was feeling extra vulnerable because of those damn pregnancy hormones.

My husband's grandfather died in 2002, about three months after his 106th birthday. He was in excellent health until the last two or three months of his life. I don't know if I want to live to be that old, unless I can be in excellent health and not lose any of my kids.

So, BlueSugar, I don't know if that answers any of your questions or not, but this is what your thread made me think about.

A few years ago when we were discussing probate law, my business law professor broke down crying in front of the class. She had had several students whose parents were incapacitated and died without a living will, power of attorney, or will/trust. Some of them had younger siblings, and it was a huge mess. Anyway, she urged us to talk to our loved ones about getting everything in order right away. This summer my both my father-in-law and mom got everything together, and planned for every eventuality (illness to death). They showed us where all of the important stuff was, and now my husband and I will know exactly what our parents want in every situation. My mom wants her ashes made into diamonds...a little crazy, but it's a huge relief to know I won't have to worry about it when the time comes. There are great kits and inexpensive software to create wills and help plan for everything, so no one should wait.

I don't know how long I'll live (maybe 70s or 80s if nothing happens?), but I'm going to plan for the future and live for each day.

 

[MagicFingers]

How long

When I was a young man, I could never imagine myself living past 40. I was having too much fun chasing the good life. I didn't think I would die or anything, just could not see anything past that age. When I reached 40, I realized I might live for a long time, so I'd better start changing my life and planning for the future, like health and savings for retirement.

Now that I'm well over 40, and look like I might live to be 80, I don't want to. Not in the situation I'm in, with no or little chance of it ever improving totally. It's sad how we can look forward to the future for 50 years, plan for it, anticipate it, then have all our dreams dashed rather suddenly.
No, I'm not suicidal, just would rather not be alive most of the time.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

It's interesting how we (in Western societies, at least) have gotten to this point in our social evolution where we push aside the elderly. In many ancient societies, the elderly were revered. Aging and death were viewed quite differently - it was an honor to grow old, and death was a wonderful passage to the next stage of your existence.

And that was when it was rough for people to survive. The elderly were extra mouths to feed, extra bodies to care for that couldn't give much but wisdom and stories back to the people. Funny how we have all these modern technologies to make caring for people easier, yet we now choose to push away our elders.

I think that's one of the only things that truly scares me about growing old one day - being shoved aside to some nursing facility and left alone.

Yet not all western societies abandon their elderly. As Billy Joel related in a Q & A dialogue at Columbia University and released on his box set Yahoo ShoutCast link here

When he visited his father in Vienna he saw an old lady sweeping the street and asked why the nice old lady was sweeping the street. The answer, she has a job, she feels useful, she's happy, she's making the street clean, she's not put out to pasture, and feels valued and a part of the community.

Unfortunately this has dissappeared in the US.

 

[Cathleen]

I have given death considerable thought over my lifetime. I don't have a fear of it at all, in fact I believe in eternal life and figure death is the reward and beginning of the big party - being free from the weights of this life.

A few years back I got the 'get your affairs in order' from a doctor and I did. I spent time working on my Will, I talked with my family (siblings) and friends and made some decisions about what I want to be done with my estate (laughing, it isn't big but I don't want the state to get it). (I also made a provision in my Will for any pets I have at the time of my death..... I threw in a nice dollar figure for the person who has agreed to take care of them.)

I have a Living Will and an Advanced Directive Order too. Those documents have been filed with all my doctors as well as some family members. I even made some plans for my funeral, I figured the more I do the less my family will have to - I've been through the planning of services of loved ones and it isn't the best time to be making decisions during that stressful time.

The whole process was very interesting for me, I learned quite a bit about myself and how I live and want to live my life. I have no idea when I will die, I do have a sort of head start in some respects - there are days I feel like I'm on the express train! lol

I live this day but I also make plans to live next week, next month, next year etc.

 

[Gil_T2]

Re: How long

When I was a young man, I could never imagine myself living past 40. I was having too much fun chasing the good life. I didn't think I would die or anything, just could not see anything past that age. When I reached 40, I realized I might live for a long time, so I'd better start changing my life and planning for the future, like health and savings for retirement.

Now that I'm well over 40, and look like I might live to be 80, I don't want to. Not in the situation I'm in, with no or little chance of it ever improving totally. It's sad how we can look forward to the future for 50 years, plan for it, anticipate it, then have all our dreams dashed rather suddenly.
No, I'm not suicidal, just would rather not be alive most of the time.

As Monty Python song goes "Always look on the bright side of death"
I have a mass of health issues & was just about ready to give up but then LOVE came back into my life making me realise life is what you make of it.
Don't concentrate on the bad things & get out there & find the great times that are there to be had.

 

[SweetErika]

I have given death considerable thought over my lifetime. I don't have a fear of it at all, in fact I believe in eternal life and figure death is the reward and beginning of the big party - being free from the weights of this life.

<snip>

Cate, I love the way you put that, and will likely remember and be comforted by it for a lifetime. Thank you.

 

[Cathleen]

Cate, I love the way you put that, and will likely remember and be comforted by it for a lifetime. Thank you.

Erika, that is such a nice thing to say, thank you. The thought that grief is for the living is so true in my mind, I miss people when they die but I never feel badly for them (for the most part). Another thought I try to keep in mind is that we only have to say goodbye once.