when a friend dies..

Silverluna

That's Professor to You!
Joined
Dec 30, 2001
Posts
8,195
...how do you handle it?

mine died today..he was only 21....

*very serious*

:(
 
I'm very sorry to hear that, hon. Best I can say is to remember your friend well and cling to the other friends you have. Strength is best shared, I believe.
 
I am so sorry, Luna.

I have never been in this position, so it is hard for me. But whenever anyone dies, I try my best to celebrate their life. Bring happiness to my heart, rather than sadness.

Again, I am sorry for your loss.

*hugs*

:rose:
 
he was prone to seizures....

....had one and sufficated.....i just hope he had clean boxers on....

*weak attempt at humor*:(
 
no good advice, I've not been in quite that position. But I'm sorry.:kiss:
 
Depends on how close we were.

My mom met a distant cousin, who was dying of cancer when they figured out they were related. That guy had more class, dignity, and an energy which might be called a life force than I have seen in almost anyone else. He was ALIVE.

He died seven years ago today, but I think of him often.

We can be thankful for these people and what they brought to us. I try to pass what David showed me on to others.
 
Silverluna said:
...how do you handle it?

mine died today..he was only 21....

*very serious*

:(

Remind yourself that it was a contract that they had made with their Creator long before. Far be it for us to get in the way of that. Celebrate their life by remembering them and feel yourself blessed by their Creator for at least letting them come into your life, no matter how short of a time it was. Realize they are in a place that's beyond our poor feeble mortal minds to comprehend and they're now the enlightened ones. You'll see your friend again when it's your time. Grieve not for your friend but celebrate their influence on you.:heart:
 
Talk with your mutual friends about his life, things that ya'll shared, those funny moments ... focusing on those things instead of so much on the loss.


I'm awfully sorry that you've lost a friend. (hugs)
 
I'm sorry for your loss. :rose:

Best I can tell you, is to hold on to the good times. Keep his memory in your heart.
 
It's probably a little too soon to think about this if it just happened today, but you could think about meaningful ways to commemorate your friend and what he meant to you. For some people, that's a funeral or memorial service and shared, for others it needs to be a private gesture. I've tried both over the years in moments of grief and it does help if you can find a way to do something.

I'm very sorry for your loss.
 
The answer about grieving and how you deal with it, is going to be different for everyone. I just lost a dear friend 5 days ago. I have been bouncing back and forth for days between several different emotions. Being reflective, I will cry one minute, and smile over a happy memory the next. In the end, I think I am dealing with it ok because I know he is no longer in pain, or having to suffer. He died of Cancer. He was ready to let go as he couldn't live life the way he wanted to. I respect his thoughts and wishes. Still there's part of me that is trying to process he is really gone. Friends have really been my support system to help me deal... that and ultimately time.

I am sorry for your loss.:rose:
 
I've lost two friends in my short life....the first died of cancer when I was 16, he was only 15. The second commited suicide, he was the same age as me at 18.

It's a huge loss, and one that I struggled for a long time to come to terms with. Especially because both were in such tragic circumstances.

I feel for you :rose:
 
Hugs to luna......so very sorry......

Just take your time to grieve and it will get better.
 
I am so sorry in the loss of your friend. Take care of yourself, it is the number one imperative, now. How you do it is up to you.

I had a lover die unexpectedly. I was devastated. We all deal with our grief in our own way. You will find yours. The main thing is to deal with it. As a friend of mine says, you can either deal with it now, or later with interest.

Stages of grief: You will travel through them, not necessarily in order: you can be going back and forth. You will come through on the acceptance if you let yourself.

Shock/Denial - "No, it cannot be true."
Anger - "Why me?"
Searching/Yearning/ Bargaining - "Yes, me...But..."
Disorganization/ Depression - "Yes, me."
Reorganization/ Acceptance - It's okay."

Good luck.
 
Silverluna said:
...how do you handle it?

mine died today..he was only 21....

*very serious*

:(

You pay tribute to your friend with thoughts of fond memories...

A prayer of greatfulness that you had such a friend and that he will be forever a part of your life...

an offering of your liking to something he enjoyed and held close to his heart in his name...

a moment alone...with the times and events the two of you shared together...

know that he is just a sleep and in no pain...

he is honored to have a friend such as you...

the legacy he leaves...is the friendship you both had...

sleep well...and know tomorrow the sun will come up and again and he will want you to enjoy the beauty of that day...

for you have a story to tell about the friend you had...

a story of being blessed with such a friend...

Freshrope_69...(I also lost a friend and still hold her near and dear, even after 16 years of the lost)
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss Silverluna. Losing someone suddenly is one of the hardest things to deal with. Be prepared to feel shock for a while and don't beat yourself up for any emotion you feel. Grief is so hard to go through. Take it one day at a time. I lost my best friend suddenly 10 yrs ago and still feel the loss like a phantom limb.

Be kind to yourself and trust what your inner voice says to you. If you feel like you need to be with people or a certain person then do it. If you feel like you need to be alone to process things then do that. *big warm hug* It does get better hon.
 
Silverluna said:
how do you handle it?





Personally, not very well. It's been nearly a year and I still have not come to terms with it. I seem pretty stuck between the denial and anger phases.

My only advice is don't bottle it up, find some way to get it out.
 
I was overseas last time it happened.



I held a wake, when I found out, and a wake for her in her home town.
 
Thank you all. My thoughts are with his family, he was the oldest child.
 
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