Whats your most amusing misunderstanding?

[Bobmi357]

OK, Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars. That means we rarely speak the same language, and even when we do, we still sometimes get our wires crossed.

So here's the picture, just to get things clear. I flew out to meet my wife for the first time. On the second day I was there, we took a shower together. Between my ears still being plugged from the flight and a minor ear infection and the noise of the shower, I couldn't hear all that well. Things were going great in the shower, I had fingered her to a little O a few times, had washed her and even help her shave her legs. I was holding the razor when she asked me "Would you like to shave my pits as well?" Only I heard "Would you like to shave my tits as well?".

Needless to say my mind raced for a few seconds, trying to think of something to say while wondering if tit shaving was northwest thing I never heard about, or perhaps I didn't know women as well as I thought. Afterall, this was only the second one I had ever been with and my first wife would have never shared a shower with me.

I pushed the razor into her hands and bolted from the shower with visions of me accidently lopping a nipple off and wondering how she managed to shave that area without hurting herself. PLUS I hadn't felt the least bit of stubble in that area, so I didn't really think her tits needed shaving.

Outside the bathroom I kept replaying that conversation, and then I started wondering if it wouldn't be easier to use something like nair on that area than shaving. But then I also thought I just might have latched onto a woman that might be even weirder than I!!! Tit shaving? I've never heard of such a thing! Maybe it was a new fad just come over to the US from europe?

A few minutes went by when she emerged from the bathroom and asked me what was wrong. I calmly explained I never shaved a tit before and was afraid I might hurt her. All the while she had this strange look on her face, like a person who knew he was about to crack loose with the mother of all farts in front of a crowd of people. She was trying not to laugh. She explained what she had said and of course I felt like a major idiot.

So whats the most amusing misunderstanding you've had with your SO?

 

[CelticFrog]

Oh my god, Bobmi... that's hilarious!

Although I honestly can't think of one right now, I will surely ask him when I join him in the shower presently... maybe he'll remember one I don't.


Ang

 

[Suzins]

I hardly ever post LOL I just love reading though, but oh my god...that was just fucking hilarious. Nice move though LOL leaving before you tried shaving her tits. I wouldn't have been able to peel myself off the floor if you actually tried shaving them.

 

[SexyChele]

That was funny, Bobmi!

My contribution:

I have a slight hearing loss in my left ear which normally doesn't have an adverse effect, unless the person speaking to me speaks softly or there is a lot of back ground noise. Typically, if I can't hear, I'll smile and nod and the reaction on the other person's face lets me know if I did the right thing. My S/O clued into this very quickly, and will frequently shake his head and tell me, "You didn't anything I just told you, did you?" Of course, then he spends the rest of the evening telling me I missed greatest compliment ever!

Well, on Friday evening we were Christmas shopping for his family and we walked into a perfume shop. (Okay, so I bought something for me, too! ) While in there, I suggested he might want to buy his son's girlfriend some perfume since he was at a loss as to what to get her. He agreed but didn't know which one to buy. I suggested several of the more popular perfumes, among them Estee Lauder's Beautiful. He responded with something, and the only part I could hear was, "....I don't want to be smelling it on _________ (girlfriend's name)." I looked at him horrified and told him that was a horrible thing to say! How could he feel that way, knowing that this woman is the mother of his sole grandchild?

He immediately got a twinkle in his eye and started to laugh. "You didn't hear a word of what I said, did you?" I told him what I had heard, and he stated I hadn't the beginning. I asked him what he said and he started in on his "game" again. Then, I guess in a sudden fit of pity, he told me.

"I like Beautiful and it would be something that I would buy for you so I could enjoy it, rather than buying it for ________ because I don't want to be smilling it on ________."

Yes, I felt properly chastized!

 

[Keleigh]

[

So whats the most amusing misunderstanding you've had with your SO? [/B][/QUOTE]

 

[Mskey]

OK...now that I've woken the baby up laughing...LOL! Bob that was friggin hilarious.

Mine is non-sexual but it still makes me laugh.
When I was in labor with my 1st daughter and about to push her head into the world the Army medical records clerk tiptoed into my delivery room and very softly asked "What name would you like?" Well i was at the end of 18 hrs. of hard unmedicated labor and the docs had just shot me full of 2 syringes of stadol to relax me enough to push. The walls were swaying & I was seeing two and three of everything in the room and all I heard was " what would you like?" Estatic that they were finally going to let me eat I piped right up with " mmmmmm...big slice of watermelon" and couldn't for the life of me figure out why the whole delivery room looked at me as tho I'd grown another head and my husband was threatening to beat the clerk if he actually put it on the birth certificate.
To this day we still jokingly call my oldest daughter " big slice"

 

[lilnymph28]

Thank you all so much! I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard, and I sorely needed it. I wish I had something to contribute, but my brain is near dead this evening, and locked itself down temporarily.

 

[TumbledLove]

" mmmmmm...big slice of watermelon"

LOL!

 

[SanDguy_22]

I get the "you horible mosnter" look quite a lot.

Noone ever tells me though what they thought they heard me say.
The funny thing of it is i rarely if ever say anything that is actualy
worth the looks that i get.
But then again living on SoCal I have learned that people here are often too lazy to ever really pay attention to the things people tell them.
As proof try your local drive trough window.
If you order a coke with no ice and the tossed spring green salad
your bound to get arrested and charged with drug traffiking, robbery and sexual harasment.

 

[English Lady]

Mskey the watermelon one cracked me up*L*


I remember once when i was first going out with hubby we were having a jokey conversation about of all things him having a harem and he said,quite seriously


"You'd be my chief porcupine"


I didn't laygh immediately,he looked so serious but pretty soon rthe laugh escaped and he wondered what was so funny,when i managed to get out that it wasn't porcupine it was concubine he meant he joined in the laughter too!

 

[BTK51]

Another In-Labor" One

Mskey, your story reminded me of a funny misunderstanding that happened to us. My wife had to be induced and was at the very end of a long labor having our youngest son. During one particularly bad contraction she screamed out in pain that she just can’t go through this again.

We had discussed how this was going to be our last child and had pretty much decided that I was going to get a vasectomy. I was trying to play “Mr. Sensitive” husband while doing the breathing coaching thing, and I leaned down while stroking her hair and gave her a kiss and said “I’ll make the appointment to get the snip-snip so everything will be okay.” I was expecting one of her cute smiles and a return kiss with an “I Love You.”

What I got instead was a snarl while she said “ I didn’t mean that you idiot” (or something along those lines) “I was talking about another contraction.” We laugh about it now but at the time I felt like the dumbest male on earth.

 

[Imi]

Speaking about hearing difficulties, I've had them all my life. I do just fine on hearing tests when I concentrate, but picking out sounds can be challenging with a lot of interference.

So hubby and I were driving along listening to the radio. A country song came on and I told him I couldn't understand why in the world such a song would be a hit when the guy was singing about "Being crazy about a turkey leg..."

Well he damn near drove off the road. Eventually when he regained control of his faculties, he told me Alan Jackson (I believe) was "Crazy about a Mercury...."

 

[Mskey]

Crazy bout a turkey leg!!!!!!! OMFG I about peed my pants!!!

BTK~ my husband has just figured it's best not to speak around a laboring woman.


I had another one recently while walking thru the grocery. An elderly but fairly spry gentleman was walking thru the snack food aisle and having trouble reaching the bags he wanted so I fetched them down for him and when I handed them to him he said,
" Thank you so much miss my hands just can't grab and lock like they used to." the only problem was i heard,
" Thank you so much miss, my hands just can't grab a cock like they used to."

I turned beet red and fled the aisle as fast as my legs could carry me with the poor old fellow trying to figure out what he'd done wrong. It wasn't until my friend got done laughing and corrected the mistake I realized my mind must have been in the gutter again.

 

[DuckLover]

The first one that comes to mind was actually from before I ever had sex. My gf and I were playing around on the bed (naked, I think) and I was straddling her and pinning her down. We were grinding against each other and kissing like crazy. Then she started to struggle more forcefully and making noise through our kisses. I jumped off of her and the bed and sat on the floor, my head hanging in shame. She had this stunned look on her face and asked me what was wrong. Now confused, I said that I thought she had REALLY wanted to get away. She laughed and told me that she was enjoying it... REALLY enjoying it and had been close to cumming!!

On the plus side, it increased the trust level in our relationship!

 

[SanDguy_22]

lol... i though that she might have had the need to go to the bathroom or something.
If that had been the case its a good thing you jumped off.

 

[VSE]

*steps into wayback machine*

Was only a wee nipper, but tottered up to mum and asked what a gallery was. Mum, impressed that number one son is asking such enlightened questions at such a young age waxes lyrical about places where art is displayed and so on, and then enquires where I'd heard about them.

Little VSE bursts into song "One gallery, one gallery, one gallery Coke!" (one calorie Coca Cola )

 

[BTK51]

BTK~ my husband has just figured it's best not to speak around a laboring woman.

Tis true, it is. It's one the most dangerous places to be. It's also one of those lessons that has to be learned the hard way.

Congrats again!How's the sleep deprivation?

 

[Mskey]

temporary thread hijack sleep depravation wouldn't be to terrible if I didn;t have anything else to do during the day like take care of my other 2 kids, run a house, etc. etc. She still has her days and nights mixed up and will sleep all day if we let her. Sigh!!! Mommyhood...ain't it a ball?
return to thread, hijack over

 

[CelticFrog]

Okay... I have thought of a few... not all are THAT amusing.

When I was a kid, my mom asked me to put a rubber band on a bag of something (Lord knows I can't remember what it was) and so (Thanks for bringing back the memory, VSE!!!) here little Ang goes, running around the kitchen, singing...

"I put a rubber on it, yeah I put a rubber on it" to some monotonous tune. Yeah, I sang everything when I was a kid. Sometimes still do. I didn't understand until I was 15 or so why exactly my mother put a stop to THAT song in a hurry, begging me never to sing that ever again, especially in public.


Another, not really a misunderstanding but a good reason to punch my husband...
LABOR story. Lots of those popping up. Or out, as the case may be...

First, during an early contraction, he mentioned that maybe I'd like a quickie to take my mind off things. "And since I know you're not supposed to have anything 'up there', just turn over -- I'll do ya in the butt!"

Then, half a day later, during the first part of several hours of fruitless pushing, he told my DOCTOR of all people... you're gonna love this one.

"Well, I stubbed my toe once, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what labor pains are like."

He has since learned that being funny during my next labor is not advised unless he is wearing full plate armor. Which he has.

There are so many more, but yet again, I can't remember them. And I'd feel bad about overloading y'all with my mildly inane memories.

Ang

 

[sheath]

One from way back in my married days...

It was my birthday, and hubby and my best friend had gone out together to conspire on presents and such. After they came back looking all smug, we were sitting around talking, and my best friend asked me if I liked the movie 'My Best Friend's Wedding'.

NO! I said. It was horrible! It turned out all wrong. The wrong girl got the guy at the end. It just was totally unfair! The movie was horrible, horrible!

She watched me with this really blank expression on her face, then turned to my then-hubby with a 'oh god' look. He blushed fire-engine red. Then he reached into the bag and pulled out one of my birthday presents. What was it?

'My Best Friend's Wedding'.

Holy shit, did I feel like shit.

S.

 

[CelticFrog]

OH GOD sheath...

Remind me to always ask before I consider your birthday presents.

Mind you, no fair that you already know what yours will be. But fun nonetheless.

Ang

 

[sheath]

Well...

My taste in movies is kinda quirky, what can I say?

S.

 

[Noor]

Well...

My taste in movies is kinda quirky, what can I say?

S.

How about "dangerous beauty?"

 

[sheath]

How about "dangerous beauty?"

Okay, maybe not as quirky as yours. I've never seen it!

S.

 

[Noor]

Okay, maybe not as quirky as yours. I've never seen it!

S.

you'll like it, and the right girl gets the right man sort of. It is set in Venice, beautiful costumes, bawdy poetry, some gorgeous men (and you know how non-visual I am), lots of sex, an amazing sword fight, supreme sacrifice, a great banana scene, war, true love, the plague and even the inquistition, what more could you want????

Also it is based on the true story of poetress Veronica Franco (sp?)

Noor