What's up with guys and flashlights?

[littlecordelera]

By the way....

So an Amazon package arrived yesterday for my husband. I happened to walk into the kitchen when he opened it, and it was another flashlight. Honestly, he's got like a hundred flashlights already. No, seriously! Honest to God, it's got to be like a hundred! They come in all shapes and sizes, but obviously they only come in one color: black. Do they not make blue flashlights? Or maybe red? Or will light only come out the end of a black flashlight?

I can't open a drawer around here without seeing a flashlight! When I saw that he had bought another flashlight, I was dumbfounded.

"You can't be serious," I said.

"It's for my truck."

"You've got like three of them in there already!"

"So now I've got another."

I quickly opened one of the kitchen drawers and several flashlights slid forward.

"Why can't you use one of these?"

He basically replied, "You wouldn't understand."

He's right about that! I don't understand! Maybe someone on here can enlighten me.

And it's not just my husband. He and his friends are always talking about flashlights and comparing flashlights. I have two male employees, and they are enamored with my husband's flashlights. Every male that enters our house and comes across one or more of my husband's flashlights, has to look it over, and try it out, and touch it and feel it.

Someone please tell me! What's the deal with guys and flashlights?

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

Yeah good point.

On the one hand you have to admit there is this thing: (Middle of night) 'Dear can you get up and see what that noise is down in the basement? It could be a burglar - can you go and check and get killed first?'

'Yeah sure, no problem.'

On the other hand, maybe... ...well, you know, maybe, when Chris Sarandon is trying to bite that chick in the neck, and all that cute scary music is playing, just MAYBE a high-powered flashlight will, um, fry him to dust like the daylight sun does.

I admit though... you have a point about this. And I'm not sure what the answer is.

 

[davion2308]

That's interesting

I'm a man, a husband of 16 years and a father of three kids with a house and a truck, so I'm probably representative of the demographic of your husband.

We have two flashlights in our house. One is my fancy industrial-strength flashlight that I use if I really need illumination, e.g. the furnace goes out at night and I have to work on it.

The flashlight is a basic standard flashlight the girls play with or take with them when they go camping or explore the woods at night. We play flashlight tag with that one too.

Do i have some big sweeping flashlight love? No.

I don't know anyone who has more than two or three flashlights in total. I don't have a good answer for the question outside of saying I can't relate, nor can anyone I asked.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I, on the other hand, only have two flashlights. A black one and a red one. They are both super LEDs and will blind a person at 50 feet.

I must admit to looking at newer flashlights whenever I'm in the store. And although they really look nice and masculine, they're really no better than the ones I have.

 

[SimonDoom]

I get wanting lots of flashlights.

A flashlight per room makes sense.

Say the lights go out at night. You don't want to bump around the house, in the dark, room to room, looking for a flashlight. You want it nearby. If you've got a flashlight in every room, there you go.

Plus, you want everyone in the house to have access to his or her own flashlight, in case the lights go out. Nobody wants to be the person without a flashlight.

Plus, flashlights for camping. They need to be smaller and lighter. Everyone's got to have one.

Plus, backups. Flashlights go bad sometimes when you don't expect them to.

If you really think it through, you need a lot.

 

[twister947]

Funny thread.

I don't have an answer, just an observation: I wouldn't want to try to keep fresh batteries in all of those.

I've moved on to headlamps. One in every vehicle, and one where I sleep.

 

[littlecordelera]

A flashlight per room makes sense.

We could supply a flashlight per room for Hilton Hotels.

 

[littlecordelera]

Is there a 12-step program?

 

[Adre]

I read “fleshlight” and had an answer, but then...

 

[twister947]

There are forums where all they do is discuss flashlights and masturbate.

 

[dontneedone]

I actually don't own a flashlight. Maybe I should buy one.

 

[Ziggins]

In previous centuries, Man Made Fire.

 

[littlecordelera]

I read “fleshlight” and had an answer, but then...

Get your mind out of the gutter, or you'll be banned from this site.

Oh wait. This IS the gutter!

 

[littlecordelera]

There are forums where all they do is discuss flashlights and masturbate.

You're kidding, right?

Tell me, you're kidding. Please.

 

[littlecordelera]

I actually don't own a flashlight. Maybe I should buy one.

Don't. It's that first hit, grabs you, pulls you in, and then there's no going back.

Just say no.

 

[haventdonethat]

Get your mind out of the gutter, or you'll be banned from this site.

Oh wait. This IS the gutter!

I really did LOL!
Good one!

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

I’ve... never heard of this phenomenon before; I don’t know any men that want/need/care about or have flashlights. This is interesting and enlightening (pun intended).

 

[Bramblethorn]

I read “fleshlight” and had an answer, but then...

You and me both. Maybe he wants a fleshlight but can't spell it?

 

[twister947]

You and me both. Maybe he wants a fleshlight but can't spell it?

Me, three. My first thought was spellcheck strikes again.

 

[littlecordelera]

You and me both. Maybe he wants a fleshlight but can't spell it?

LOL!!

You know, I do believe I heard him mumbling in the other room, "Goddammit! They shipped another fucking flashlight!"

 

[MidKnight1378]

A man can not have enough flashlights. We live in Hurricane ally, West Central Florida, so we have to stay prepared.

 

[twister947]

There's this thing called "fondle factor"...

 

[littlecordelera]

There's this thing called "fondle factor"...

I wasn't going to go there, but since you brought it up...

A flashlight is long and hard and it has a head and a shaft. And you guys are always playing with yourself.

Maybe there is some sort of Freudian psychology underlying this weird obsession.

 

[twister947]

People collect stuff (hoard is such an ugly word).

I have knives. Mugs. Hoodies. And a few flashlights.

 

[astuffedshirt_perv]

Someone please tell me! What's the deal with guys and flashlights?

I have a lot of flashlights. One in every common room, several in the workshop, probably 30 total. Having been through a couple of blackouts I think: you know, for another $5 I could have had a flashlight in here. When I can't find one, I get mad and buy more.

In my defense, I only buy them when they are cut rate, like 50% off. Black is the most common color for manufacturing reasons, I have a couple other colors but usually black. Now, an issue with black is that they can get overlooked. Leading to me buying another one.