What writing concept is this?

[Euphony]

Story is 1st person past tense autobiographical.

I'm writing it in a conversational style where narrator is an "older wiser self."




The events are told with full disclosure, all the bad things he did in the past relationship with his girlfriend he admits too. Its his way of atonement and also to get the listener (the reader) believing his version of events. ( "If I was lying Id gloss over all the bad shit I did wouldnt I? ")

BUT, as people do in conversation, he tries to relay he's changed/ not that guy anymore in the present. This has presented me some tense problems.





I *have* dropped in some present tense sparingly at key moments (just for the really awful things so as not to make the reader HATE the old "him" so much it ruins the want/interest in hearing out the *new* him)

When I wrote out stuff like " In my past I was" or " When I was young I" I started feeling as the instances added up. it was all a bit old fashion sounding like a grandfather recounting his "when I was a kid" stories. I want less sitting on a screened porch feel. Just normal, everyday conversation situations that somehow spirals into those "let me unburden myself" moments.





In real life conversations people switch tense and they also defend themselves all the time

"Yeah, I was so drunk I passed out. I drink responsibly now."

Stylistically I love the way the story comes across. Its like a bearing of the soul to a friend but the reader DOES NOT RELATE TO HIM IN THIS WAY AT FIRST (too much information syndrome) but hopefully does so at the end. (through his honesty, actions, atonement, growth, etc)





The only thing I could find roughly relating to my coming back into the present tense issue was "stream of conscious thought" which Im not sure fits. Im hammering myself to stay in the past tense but I feel like Im not telling my story fully without updating where his mind/morals/etc are now (and I dont see readers trusting he'll "get his shit together" by the end of the story so they stick it out. They NEED him to progress along the way but I dont want to recount every little event that taught him how he *should* have treated her. Nor was I thrilled to have moments in their history where he sort of got it, hinted at being a better man. He was an ass. She ridiculously forgave that over and over. He realizes her sacrifice now. To muddle it with "but I wasnt ALL bad" doesnt feel right. Hes repenting fully. Hed focus on the sins.




Any thoughts or examples would be great. Somebody turned me on to a Capote book which is in the realm but maybe even a little more complex than I understand or can do. Basically a simple occasional tense switch to the present is what Im describing it as. What is that concept? Where can I read uo on it?

 

[sr71plt]

I don't know of any specific example of that, but it certainly sounds like it's fine. The narrator is sitting in the present and dredging up stuff from the past. I think moving back and forth in tenses is just fine and natural for that.

 

[PennLady]

I think, if you do it clearly, you can make those tense switches without confusing the reader. You could use a visual separator, like five centered asterisks, or make it a separate paragraph, or even chapter, depending on how you're presenting it. I'd have to read it to say much more, but I'm betting it can be done. There are a lot of conventions in writing, we all know that, but it doesn't mean you have to always abide by them.

I agree with SR. This sounds like a reasonable way to tell the story. I think you maybe worrying over nothing.

 

[MSTarot]

Present tense narrated Autobiography. (best guess)

I've seen what your doing used in movies with the Narrator talking from the present about what he did in the past. The movie 'Cobb' come to mind.

I tried something similar with 'Narcissus'

http://www.literotica.com/s/narcissus-1

I've had a few comments telling me that they couldn't tell who was speaking. In the description I state it's a 'Sisters Observations of her Brothers Lover.'

Good luck with this post a link when you get it finished sounds like a good read.

 

[SamScribble]

Many years ago, I had a tutor who referred to this as ‘the unreliable confessional’. The narrator is letting the reader in on his/her perhaps wilder, perhaps more disreputable backstory. But for much of it, the reader has no way of knowing if the narrator is telling the truth. It could simply be that the narrator is painting a blacker past in order to make him or her look better in the present. Used well, it can add a useful dimension to a story.

 

[sr71plt]

That sounds like a great name for it. It can have a really interesting dimension if the reader can slowly come to realize that he/she doesn't share the protagonist's views on events.

 

[slyc_willie]

I have a story that uses this same device, in a way. It's told from the point of view of a bartender who listens to an old man recounting fond memories of a woman he knew decades before. When the old man speaks, he often does so in the present tense. I figured that would be a good way to put both he and the reader into the story. Plus, it just seemed appropriately conversational to do it that way.

 

[Euphony]

Many years ago, I had a tutor who referred to this as ‘the unreliable confessional’. The narrator is letting the reader in on his/her perhaps wilder, perhaps more disreputable backstory. But for much of it, the reader has no way of knowing if the narrator is telling the truth. It could simply be that the narrator is painting a blacker past in order to make him or her look better in the present. Used well, it can add a useful dimension to a story.

Interesting. I had "unreliable narrator" come into my orbit but felt it wasn't quite what I doing (as I was trying to build out the narrator BEING reliable)

Your concept though gave me a beautiful opposite to work against.

Its sort of like those Wild West stories where the gunslinger wows his audience with a best case, near superhero version of events ("I killed the 3 outlaw brothers with one bullet") Right?

In first person the narrator = the gunslinger
the fellow drunks at the bar = the reader

I may even progress mine that he sugarcoats his earlier misdeeds or even revises his statements of those events later. (a "so I missed our date becomes the full truth "to have sex with her roommate")

Thanks for keeping me thinking all.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Thinking in terms of the story, if he keeps on relating these awful truths about himself and then apologizing and telling us how he's changed, you run the risk of boring your reader. The pattern gets predictable and tedious.

Maybe rather than apologizing for himself he could tell us what made him act that way -- what he didn't know or what he thought at the time that made him such a jerk. That would be a lot more interesting than him just saying, "I was a jerk then but I'm not like that anymore" after every episode.

What we're really going to want to know from a story like this is what finally changed him from bad to good, whether it was a bunch of incremental realizations or one big event. Because even if this is written as a bunch of episodes, the point of an autobiography is to show a person's journey from what they once were to what they are now.

ETA: The other thing that comes to mind is: why have him apologizing at all? Villains are a lot more fascinating than nice guys, especially if they're aware of their villainy and can talk about it.

 

[sr71plt]

Yes, well, the question was about the legitimacy of a first-person narrative using both present and past tense. Think the answer to that is that it's fine to do, as OK with "reliable narrator" as with "unreliable narrator."

 

[Euphony]

Thinking in terms of the story, if he keeps on relating these awful truths about himself and then apologizing and telling us how he's changed, you run the risk of boring your reader. The pattern gets predictable and tedious.

Maybe rather than apologizing for himself he could tell us what made him act that way -- what he didn't know or what he thought at the time that made him such a jerk. That would be a lot more interesting than him just saying, "I was a jerk then but I'm not like that anymore" after every episode.

What we're really going to want to know from a story like this is what finally changed him from bad to good, whether it was a bunch of incremental realizations or one big event. Because even if this is written as a bunch of episodes, the point of an autobiography is to show a person's journey from what they once were to what they are now.

ETA: The other thing that comes to mind is: why have him apologizing at all? Villains are a lot more fascinating than nice guys, especially if they're aware of their villainy and can talk about it.

Thank you for this. He won't be apologetic each and every time. I'll use it sparingly. It allows the female in question to have fully experienced the trauma while showing the narrator to recognizes the gravity of the actions now (like an alcoholic "admitting he has a problem" he has to start with some identifiable action/memory to motivate his change) One event will be the eye opener. The story and its retelling a full accounting, maybe even a few uncomfortable self discoveries as he goes along as well. *storyboarding this concept now*

The specifics are really the nuts and bolts of the story. Ill either nail it or not.

As far as the "villains are more fun", probably true. Theres enough evil penises running around Lit getting their fill of any and all vaginas they encounter. Im not so motivated to write this right now. But I will file the idea away for when Im up for a challenge later.

 

[Euphony]

Yes, well, the question was about the legitimacy of a first-person narrative using both present and past tense. Think the answer to that is that it's fine to do, as OK with "reliable narrator" as with "unreliable narrator."

Nail on the head as usual SR. I meant to thank you earlier. Thought for sure I did. Apparently not.

Crapola.

Thanks again.