What Would YOU Do

[AsylumSeeker]

I'm in a quandary. I'm a nice guy. Anyway there's a neighborhood guy, Jerry, not all quite right in the head. Friendly and all, he's in his forties, lives with his mom, and rides a bike. Really good at lawn work, usually does a great job there. Just providing the background. Sounds all good.

But lately Jerry has been asking me to pay him in advance. I did twice, and both times he disappeared for a week after. Didn't mow the yard when he said, not until a week later. I think he's doing drugs. And we just found out from a neighbor that he was arrested for it a number of years ago.

So we try and be nice to Jerry but then I found another guy, Mike, who works two jobs and is trying for more. So I asked him to mow, looking for someone more reliable. Then after scheduling Mike, Jerry shows up and starts mowing without even being asked.

I feel like I'm in an awkward spot. Jerry mowed but then didn't edge, said he was having personal issues, but he was all for getting the money. My wife met him at the door and paid him because she knew I'd have an altercation.

Which brings the conversation a full three-sixty.

What would you do?

 

[lovecraft68]

I think you have to bite the bullet and tell Jerry he has been far from reliable and you had to get someone else.

If he gets heated tell him you will call the police. If he has had issues with the law in the past and currently using he will not want anything to do with the police and leave you be.

 

[NaokoSmith]

So you paid Jerry twice for the work, cuz you paid him in advance, he didn't do it, then your wife paid him?

I think it feels like an awkward spot:
- Jerry, not all there, you would like to help him out but he has taken advantage of your kindness.
- Mike, more sorted, got two jobs on the go already, working hard and you could help him a bit too, he seems more reliable.

Really it's a win/win. You can choose which person to help and feel good about helping either.

If you continue to ask Jerry to help, you should not pay him in advance in the future. Be firm about saying he took advantage beforehand so the rule now is, he does the work properly and then gets paid. That's better for him, it keeps him in line with his responsibilities - which he is probably not good at because he's not all there.

If this is how you feel, you can say to Mike: You did a real good job but Jerry really needs this work. I will recommend you to other people, you can give them my number.

Or you can say to Jerry: You took advantage and messed up, learn the lesson and next time be a bit more careful with your customers. You got paid twice for the job so be grateful. If you and your wife are finding him hard work, then you can consider that.

Mike is a deserving worker too, he may use this work and money to build things up and make something for himself, he deserves a chance.

Don't feel guilt-stricken when you are doing a good thing either way. Either choice is a good one. You're a good neighbour.

 

[glynndah]

I like Naoko's suggestions. You might also consider having Mike do the actual mowing and hiring Jerry to do the edging.

 

[Handley_Page]

Nicely put, Duchess.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I think you have to bite the bullet and tell Jerry he has been far from reliable and you had to get someone else.

If he gets heated tell him you will call the police. If he has had issues with the law in the past and currently using he will not want anything to do with the police and leave you be.

I agree. Don't pussy around like the gals suggest. SAYONARA MUTHA FUGGA.

 

[TE999]

Give Jerry the boot. Mentally challenged dopers are not who you want doing your lawn. If you feel you must help him in some way give some money to his mom; he'll just buy dope with it.

 

[RoyceConnors]

To make it easiest on everyone, tell Jerry you're going to cut it yourself again, so he doesn't take resentment and do something stupid in retaliation, then hire Mike and hope he's not the same.

 

[sr71plt]

To make it easiest on everyone, tell Jerry you're going to cut it yourself again, so he doesn't take resentment and do something stupid in retaliation, then hire Mike and hope he's not the same.

Jerry's a neighbor. You don't think he'll notice AS isn't cutting his own lawn?

 

[RoyceConnors]

Jerry's a neighbor. You don't think he'll notice AS isn't cutting his own lawn?

Not a neighbour, just lives in the neighbourhood. If Jerry is as screwed up as noted, chances are he won't care and go on his way. If he does find out, he can tell Jerry he tried cutting it himself and decided it was too much and the other guy charges less, so he went with him instead.

Me, I'd just tell him he's fired and why. I'm paying, I'm calling the shots, like it, or lump it.

 

[sr71plt]

Not a neighbour, just lives in the neighbourhood. If Jerry is as screwed up as noted, chances are he won't care and go on his way. If he does find out, he can tell Jerry he tried cutting it himself and decided it was too much and the other guy charges less, so he went with him instead.

Me, I'd just tell him he's fired and why. I'm paying, I'm calling the shots, like it, or lump it.

I don't know where "being in the neighborhood" doesn't qualify as being a neighbor.

And I guess we're different (I'm sticking with the first advice you gave). I'd rather have an honest break with someone who has proved to be shiftless and a possible druggie than for them to find out I lied to them--which is the set up of telling him you're mowing your lawn yourself and then hiring someone else to do it.

I'm still mulling how to make an erotica storyline out of this.

 

[jomar]

I would also let him know he will not get paid if he simply shows up and mows without an okay from me (not my wife).

 

[sr71plt]

I would also let him know he will not get paid if he simply shows up and mows without an okay from me (not my wife).

He'd have to whistle Dixie for that. My wife does all of the hiring and paying for such things. I disappear in my study at the hint of a workman showing up. (Of course I mow my own lawn, although there's practically none to mow--I've coaxed most of what lawn there is on a heavily wooded lot into moss.)

 

[Saxon_Hart]

I'd tell Jerry to pack sand. Give Mike a shot, if he fails find a reputable lawn guy.

 

[_Lynn_]

I would get rid of them both and mow my own yard.

 

[jodiross]

What the heck I might as well give my 2 cents worth too!

I like the idea of telling him you had to hire someone else who was reliable and then get Mike to do the work. While I can feel for the guy, I think that you can't let him continue to use you like he has done.
Jodi

 

[NaokoSmith]

I'm still mulling how to make an erotica storyline out of this.

Let me get this clear. Three men, a lawn, mowing - which gets you hot and sweaty. Little bits of grass sticking to the sweaty skin. At least two of the men are outdoor handymen types, so likely to be muscled and cut. Someone is getting hot and taking his t-shirt off.

And you are struggling to get an erotica storyline going?

Excuse me a minute, I just have to lie down quietly for a little while if I can find a space that doesn't have kittens in it.

 

[sr71plt]

Let me get this clear. Three men, a lawn, mowing - which gets you hot and sweaty. Little bits of grass sticking to the sweaty skin. At least two of the men are outdoor handymen types, so likely to be muscled and cut. Someone is getting hot and taking his t-shirt off.

And you are struggling to get an erotica storyline going?

Excuse me a minute, I just have to lie down quietly for a little while if I can find a space that doesn't have kittens in it.

Now that you mention it, I've written that story.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Now that you mention it, I've written that story.

LOL, I thought you might remember three men, a lawn and a hot sweaty day if you put your mind to it.

 

[horrorotica]

You are paying this guy to perform a service that he isn't doing. I suggest you be upfront with him and treat him like you'd treat anyone else. Tell him you're not paying him for work he doesn't complete. You said he lives with his mom so you could also call her and tell her what's going on. Take control of the situation. Don't be a wimp just because you think he's mentally retarded or something. If you like this guy then you're not helping him by letting him walk all over you.