what would YOU do?

[alisonwunderlnd]

ok so this can be a continuing thread or a one shot deal
I am today looking for a what would you do in this situation
If anyone else has an advice seeking dilema later...feel free to hijack


Ok this IS a friend BTW
i would sat it was me if it was
My friend...lets call her Cindy
gets a text from one of her friends,,(back story,,,Cindys friend is bipolar and has a very risque sexual nature...whatever) anyway
she texts Cindy and says"I talked to your husband online Friday "
she gave a time frame,,etc
Cindy says thats odd....he was with me then,,,,so it was NOT him
what did you talk to whoever it was about?
They cybered
eeekkk
what actually happened,,,Cindy has had a stalker in the past...who broke into an IM site her husband used to talk with family,,friends etc
so stalker cybered with Cindy's friend
BUT MY question is
WHY WHY WHY would this woman,,,who is supposed to be a CLOSE friend of Cindy's cyber with who she THOUGHT was her husband?
she also makes comments often about he is hot...has a nice ass,,,etc
what would LIT do?
drop the friend?
forget about it?
anything else?

 

[Lovelickin]

think you answere it with your description of Cindy's friend, she sounds like an attention seeker. Problem is it's damaging as you don't know how far that person would go. I hate advising to drop a friend as we all need friends but maybe Cindy should keep her at arms length and not rely on what she says too much....


not sure if that helps but hey, it's not nasty

 

[Lovelickin]

think you answered it with your description of Cindy's friend, she sounds like an attention seeker. Problem is it's damaging as you don't know how far that person would go. I hate advising to drop a friend as we all need friends but maybe Cindy should keep her at arms length and not rely on what she says too much....


not sure if that helps but hey, it's not nasty

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

think you answered it with your description of Cindy's friend, she sounds like an attention seeker. Problem is it's damaging as you don't know how far that person would go. I hate advising to drop a friend as we all need friends but maybe Cindy should keep her at arms length and not rely on what she says too much....


not sure if that helps but hey, it's not nasty

that is what I thought as well

 

[redlorry]

There are a couple of issues here.

1st is Cindy 100% certain it was not her husband

2nd If friend has risque Ssexual nature it depends on who initiated cybering. Cindy should ask for a transcript

If the answer to question one is yes Cindy is 100% sure it was not her husband then he is in the clear and she should then look at the second question and if the "stalker" initiated cybering then knowing her friend's sexual appetite she should perhaps make allowances for her being bi-polar. If the friend initiated cybering then that is imo unforgivable and she should find another friend.

If she is not 100% it was not her husband and suspects it may have been she should again look at who initiated cybering and dump her husband either way and again make allowances for her friend if she did not initiate it.

 

[Lovelickin]

great minds and all that lol

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

There are a couple of issues here.

1st is Cindy 100% certain it was not her husband

2nd If friend has risque Ssexual nature it depends on who initiated cybering. Cindy should ask for a transcript

If the answer to question one is yes Cindy is 100% sure it was not her husband then he is in the clear and she should then look at the second question and if the "stalker" initiated cybering then knowing her friend's sexual appetite she should perhaps make allowances for her being bi-polar. If the friend initiated cybering then that is imo unforgivable and she should find another friend.

If she is not 100% it was not her husband and suspects it may have been she should again look at who initiated cybering and dump her husband either way and again make allowances for her friend if she did not initiate it.

she is 100000 % sure it wasnt her husband
the stalker is Cindys ex...he likes to stir problems

 

[Aquagal]

What did the husband have to say? What did cyber include? Was there pic exchanges?

 

[Emhdtats]

Sounds like Cindy's friend is in need of medical attention. Bipolar is associated with hypersexuality. This sounds like a person in a manic phase. Does friend take meds? If so it may be time for a med check.

Also, is stalker trying to get to Cindy through bipolar friend? Is stalker creepy or dangerous? Does friend need to be warned about stalker? Has hubby checked his identity security.

Unfortunately tbis could be written off a friend being a little badly behaved or it could be potentially dangerous for more than 1 person involved.

Good luck.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

What did the husband have to say? What did cyber include? Was there pic exchanges?

no pics
she basic cyber is what Im guessing
since it was the stalker and NOT her husband...one can only guess

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Sounds like Cindy's friend is in need of medical attention. Bipolar is associated with hypersexuality. This sounds like a person in a manic phase. Does friend take meds? If so it may be time for a med check.

Also, is stalker trying to get to Cindy through bipolar friend? Is stalker creepy or dangerous? Does friend need to be warned about stalker? Has hubby checked his identity security.

Unfortunately tbis could be written off a friend being a little badly behaved or it could be potentially dangerous for more than 1 person involved.

Good luck.

friend is on her meds
who the hell knows what stalker is hung up on...beyond Cindy

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Having dealt with someone with Bipolar Nature before its hard because there are many times when in a mania situation that you CANNOT believe what is said. If I was your friend and she knows that her husband DID NOT... I would have her set VERY clear boundaries with her Bipolar Friend and always always always stick to them because consistency is key in these relationships honestly. It is very hard to be a "friend" when they are going out of control. Cindy needs to protect her relationship and have a very frank conversation with the husband also. It's a total catch 22 situation and I wish "Cindy" luck and you too since your supportive!

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Having dealt with someone with Bipolar Nature before its hard because there are many times when in a mania situation that you CANNOT believe what is said. If I was your friend and she knows that her husband DID NOT... I would have her set VERY clear boundaries with her Bipolar Friend and always always always stick to them because consistency is key in these relationships honestly. It is very hard to be a "friend" when they are going out of control. Cindy needs to protect her relationship and have a very frank conversation with the husband also. It's a total catch 22 situation and I wish "Cindy" luck and you too since your supportive!

thanks
i have a bipolar friend too
not the same woman
cindy is so hurt,,,,i want her to be happy

 

[Emhdtats]

friend is on her meds
who the hell knows what stalker is hung up on...beyond Cindy

Ok, probably time for a med check. Things can stop working and not really get noticed. Best of luck to you & Cindy.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Ok, probably time for a med check. Things can stop working and not really get noticed. Best of luck to you & Cindy.

one one had i want to say''


she in unwell,,,,dont dump a friend
then on the other hand,,,,fuck that,,,,what she did was foul

 

[Aquagal]

no pics
she basic cyber is what Im guessing
since it was the stalker and NOT her husband...one can only guess

Right, what I meant was what was husbands opinion about it all? He certainly must have one.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Right, what I meant was what was husbands opinion about it all? He certainly must have one.

ill call him steve
Steve is being a bit quiet..I THINK
im sure he wants CIndy to have better friends,,,,,i think it also makes him feel weird when she makes sexual comments about him
being "hot" etc

 

[HesterPrynne]

Her friend sounds like a total nutter butter. If I were Cindy, I'd run far and fast.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Her friend sounds like a total nutter butter. If I were Cindy, I'd run far and fast.

lol
i love your phrase
makes me think of the cookie
coookkkkiiiesss,,,,Im all PMS ey and i want all the cookies,,,lol

 

[HesterPrynne]

lol
i love your phrase
makes me think of the cookie
coookkkkiiiesss,,,,Im all PMS ey and i want all the cookies,,,lol

Thanks.

Cookies are good. Cookies are happiness and sunshine and ..... Yea.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Thanks.

Cookies are good. Cookies are happiness and sunshine and ..... Yea.

lolz
cookies are pefect for,,,,yea,,,lol

 

[HesterPrynne]

lolz
cookies are pefect for,,,,yea,,,lol

Before, during, and after!

Tee hee hee

 

[fungatorgurl101]

she is 100000 % sure it wasnt her husband
the stalker is Cindys ex...he likes to stir problems

Also just with what I do part time and on the side has "Cindy"ever considered getting a Protection/Restraining order against her Ex as then she wouldn't have to deal with the drama?

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Also just with what I do part time and on the side has "Cindy"ever considered getting a Protection/Restraining order against her Ex as then she wouldn't have to deal with the drama?

i think today she is

that was just too toooooooo

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Before, during, and after!

Tee hee hee

heck yessssssss