What would you do if you saw an old friend about to make a mess of their life?

[Bidin~Time]

I've been friends with this person since we were teenagers. And last night my suspicions that she was having an affair were confirmed.
While I have never made whom she sleeps with my business, this situation goes much farther than that. It's not just that the fella in question is........well......the epitomy of "bad news", but she's put her job in jeopardy. Yes, she's married and so is the guy. There are a dozen other reasons I'm concerned, but those worry me the most.

Do I go to her and tell her I know, pointing out that WHEN all this comes out she's screwed?
(I know, bad pun....sorry)
Or do I let things take their own course?

 

[Starfish]

I let my friends make their own mistakes usually, unless it is one I can't deny is a major concern.

This could be that kind of thing in your eyes, so you may want to approach this with her.

How she reacts and what comes of it depends a lot on what kind of a person she is.

 

[Bidin~Time]

I let my friends make their own mistakes usually, unless it is one I can't deny is a major concern.

This could be that kind of thing in your eyes, so you may want to approach this with her.

How she reacts and what comes of it depends a lot on what kind of a person she is.

I've always thought of her as a sister so of course I thinks she's a great person.
The problem is she's "conned" her boss into thinking her marriage problems are rooted with her husband and now he's offered her an apartment rent free til she "gets her feet on the ground".

I know her boss. And when he finds out she's been lying to him he's going to go ballistic!

 

[juicylips]

It's situations like these that test the boundaries of friendship.

If she is in the throes of an affair, it's unlikely she is hearing any reason at all. Just be there for her when things take a turn for the worse. If she comes to you with this situation and asks for your opinion. Tell her how you feel. That's what true friends are for.

JL

 

[mokum13]

I would try to confront her, in a gentle way. Make sure you are in a familiar surrounding so she feel at ease. But it wouldnt be easy.

 

[Debbie]

It's situations like these that test the boundaries of friendship.

If she is in the throes of an affair, it's unlikely she is hearing any reason at all. Just be there for her when things take a turn for the worse. If she comes to you with this situation and asks for your opinion. Tell her how you feel. That's what true friends are for.

JL

juicylips says it so well.

It does test friendships. I don't judge anyone but this happened to me. My best friend of nine years, started having an affair. I was upset and horrified that she was risking her marriage and family life. Our conversations at first on this subject were stilted. She talked, I listened. Then I talked telling her that what she did was her concern. But that no matter what I was going to be there for her as she has always been for me. She is still having the affair and she knows how I feel but that I will always be there for her.
It is really hard but all we can do as friends is be honest and be there for our friends. Tell her what you think but in a kind way. Tell her how much you care. Good luck.

 

[Bidin~Time]

Thank you ladies for taking the time to give me your thoughts.

I know I'll find a way to talk to her about this, but I need a clear head, and I need to do it soon. Lord only knows how, but she's made his aunt angry and she's spilling everything she knows to everyone who will listen.

Please, cross your fingers, or say a prayer (I apologize in advance to the agnostics and atheists out there for that request) or just think a good thought.

I'm going to need all the help I can get and so will she.