What weird stuff have you done to get yourself off?

[Paul_01]

I was thinking earlier about the things I used to do to get myself off back in my fevered teen years and started to wonder what strange and funny stuff other people used to (or maybe still) do to get a good thrill.

So i'll go first.

Not far from where I lived were some fairly thick woods and if you kept off the well walked trails you could quite happily do all sorts of things without interruption, one such place like this had some strange trees on which big thick branches grew out near the base at 45 degrees, these branches were covered with many years growth of thick velvety moss and what I used to do was drop my trousers and underwear, pull my t-shirt over my head, mount the branch, wrap my body round it and hump it so my now hard cock rubbed against the soft moss until I shuddered to orgasm blowing a load all over the tree and usually myself too.

Weird I know but this was a long time ago, so anybody else got any confessions?

 

[strapon_tales]

Me and a friend would show ourselves off to each other in an old concrete bunker that was used for coal; that would get me off something fierce, anyway.

I also used to have a thing for rubbing soap on my penis. (My mum wondered how we got through it so fast.)

 

[danigrl84]

When I was a teenager, my best friend showe me how to wrap my legs around the bath tub spout in all the right places.....I used this technique for any years to cum

 

[strapon_tales]

When I was a teenager, my best friend showe me how to wrap my legs around the bath tub spout in all the right places.....I used this technique for any years to cum

I remember some girl telling me about that once in school! I thought it was made-up.

 

[delisemoa]

More than once I used a small facial massage device my mom (!!!) gave to me as a birthday present. I guess I can call that my first vibrator )

 

[cosmocreamer]

Great idea for a thread! I've done all sorts of things. One that comes to mind was when I was about seventeen I decided I was bored with handcream and wanted to try a different lube. So I used a handful of marmalade instead (shreddless!). Actually, I did it a few times because it was so enjoyable. Messy but fun!

 

[Paul_01]

Me and a friend would show ourselves off to each other in an old concrete bunker that was used for coal; that would get me off something fierce, anyway.

I used to do something similar with a friend when his parents were out, I don't know about him but it really turned me on and i'd wank myself silly when I got home.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I had a friend that used to fuck watermelon. Never did try it myself, but I have a real aversion to watermelon now. Thanks for the image buddy.

 

[qrayze]

I used to hump a pillow for the clitoral stimulation, lol...I was 12

 

[RagsNRiches]

Oh, Yeah!

I used to hump a pillow for the clitoral stimulation, lol...I was 12

I can sure relate to that, grayze. I used to make like a trough down the length of my pillow, and ride it with my thighs on either side of the pillow with my hard prick sliding in that trough. It made exquisite pleasures as the soft cotton pillow cover tickled my flesh with each stroke. It got me off every time I tried it, when I was a teenager and could cum pretty quickly.

I've tried it recently, but now I'm a lot older, and it takes me far too long to get off that way, but it still is pretty good foreplay.

A good old fashioned pillow fuck is better than a pillow fight any day!

Rags

 

[Paul_01]

Yeah I used to fuck my pillows, but stopped when I started to actually shoot cum, I found that I had trouble "pulling out" in time, lol.

 

[WriteWithMe]

Hot or Cold Water?

One of my GF's used the same bathtub faucet technique. She had two methods, depending upon the tub.

The first was to turn away from the faucet on her elbows and knees, "backing up" to it. She'd arch her back, lifting her pussy -- do you mind if I pick that term -- right up to the spigot, and let the water pound her at full flow until she exploded.

The second was to lay on her back, cross her calves over above the spigot in almost a lotus position, and hold on to the spigot. She liked this better, but some tubs were harder to get a grip on.

Once we started dating, she altered this second technique, with me under her, holding her in place while holding her knees back to open her up to the faucet. God, I loved to watch her cum! I could feel her trembling, so cool.

Sometimes but not always, she could cum and cum again, right up until the hot water ran out and, sometimes, even into the cold.

Once on a weekender, we were at a hotel where the hot water wouldn't stop running. I have no idea how many times she came, or if the orgasms were individuals or just one long, extended one. All I know is she was exhausted by the time she was through -- pretty much made me unnecessary ... but that was alright, because I "got mine" too.

QUESTION FOR THOSE PARTAKING: Can you come in cold water and warm water both?

 

[WriteWithMe]

Me next !

I told about my GF's technique (the faucet). I should tell about mine.

I was curious about anal sex, but I didn't have any "appropriate" toys. (I'm not gay -- so far -- so obviously I didn't have another man handy to help me, either

So, I got the next best things:

# A condom

# A sample bottle of lube that had been slipped to me during a deliver to an adult store.

# And a 22 ounce, glass beer bottle.

Now, before you freak about "glass up the ass" ... have you ever watched "Mythbusters" on Discovery Channel? Using a pair of construction cranes, they lowered a fully loaded 16 wheeler down upon carefully arranged 12 ounce beer bottles -- and they held! Right up until some one patted a hand on the truck, unbalancing the weight distribution -- and in a flash, the bottles shattered into oblivion.

So... back to the story.

The process was simple: I heated water, filled the bottle, applied the condom and lube, crouched down on my knees with the bottle held between my feet, and ... inserted.

For anyone who's never experienced anal intercourse -- from the receiving end, I mean -- it's an odd sensation ... a combination of pain and pleasure, more of the latter if you get the angle right.

I managed to get the angle right, causing an interesting pleasure. My dick got about as hard as it had ever been; I gripped it, but did not stroke it because I wanted to know if I could orgasm only from the intercourse.

Eventually, I did ... and wow, what a different kind of orgasm. The ejaculations were spread out, not the usually, two or three spurts per second (until I'm done too soon) that other forms of sex resulted in. I would squirt, then almost a full second later squirt, then a full second later ...

As a man -- I'm assuming this for all men, since I have never discussed this personally with another man -- when you have an object up your ass and ejaculate, your sphincter clinches. It's another combination of pain and pleasure; but the reason I mention it is because I think it's the reason my ejaculations were delayed. (Any one have a similar experience, know whether I'm right about this?)

I enjoyed it very much, but -- for reasons I can't explain -- have never been able to get the same reaction again. (I haven't tried it in a while; maybe it's time to drink some more beer and get out the condoms.)

 

[cosmocreamer]

I can sure relate to that, grayze. I used to make like a trough down the length of my pillow, and ride it with my thighs on either side of the pillow with my hard prick sliding in that trough. It made exquisite pleasures as the soft cotton pillow cover tickled my flesh with each stroke. It got me off every time I tried it, when I was a teenager and could cum pretty quickly.

I've tried it recently, but now I'm a lot older, and it takes me far too long to get off that way, but it still is pretty good foreplay.

A good old fashioned pillow fuck is better than a pillow fight any day!

Rags

I still do that sometimes!

 

[BongoGal]

I've mentioned this on these pages before, but more than once I have gotten myself off by skillfully leaning myself into the corner of a washing machine in spin cycle.

 

[Paul_01]

I've mentioned this on these pages before, but more than once I have gotten myself off by skillfully leaning myself into the corner of a washing machine in spin cycle.

I know a lot of women use the washing machine spinning to get off, but it can be quite pleasurable for a guy too if you get the corner of the machine right at the sensitive point where the shaft of your dick meets the head.

Just thought of another one from my past, I was mid teens and had recently seen Last Tango in Paris and the infamous butter lube scene got me thinking how it would feel using butter to wank with, so when the house was empty I got the butter and rubbed a small amount on my dick, it felt really good and it turned me on so much before I knew it I had smeared loads of it over my dick, my balls, my chest and was wanking like crazy.
I had a great orgasm, but cleaning up was a real pain, lol.

 

[shiny5437]

Similarly, once saw in a magazine about using toothpaste as a sort of lube. It does feel quite tingly but did cause the skin on the end to peel off.

 

[LizzyDark]

The Harry Potter broom toy Nimbus 2000 (of failblog fame) was my first vibrator long before I was old enough to buy one--they stopped selling them when Failblog and a bunch of other places pointed out this fact. I still have it, still use it on occasion, why fix what isn't broke?

I was having a conversation with my girlfriend a few nights ago about this very subject of sex toys before we were allowed sex toys, and she said she used to hump water bottles, not as in insertion, but as in rubbing along the ridges like a symbian with the help of a pillow. After I laughed about this we had a long stretch of silence before she admitted she still did it sometimes. I use one of those re-usable stainless steel water bottles, but she has always bought the disposable plastic water bottles, and now I know why.

 

[AngelBella]

The oddest thing would have to be a one night stand (Ok, so I went back for a couple more booty calls) with a giant teddy bear I have.

*Walks away and wonders if this makes her a furry wannabe*

AngelBella

 

[smallncute]

One line pet

a couple of years ago I met 'Liz' in the chat room here at Lit.

We became friends and some how she bought out a Domme side of me that I never knew existed.

And soon she was referring to me as Ms Miranda...

Soon she started to submit to me...

She was my first (and only genuine online pet) and so I ended up giving her real life tasks.

As such I would never ask her to do anything I wouldn't do...

One day she mentioned to me that she had joined a gym...

With out thinking I said you can't cum again until you have cum in the showers of her gym using a shower gel bottle...

It was only when she accepted that I realised I had not done that..


So one quiet Sunday morning I had a work out before going to the shower cubicle.

With said bottle of shower gel, I started to masturbate thinking of the task for Liz and another victim in the spin class.

When i came I was quite loud despite biting my lips...

Have repeated it since

Miranda

 

[Lady_In_Black]

Tarp clips.

I seem to of lost one.

 

[ticklish709]

Vegetarian So To Speak

Hello all,

When I was really little I'd sit on the face of my favorite stuff animal's nose. It was hard and hit just the right spot and make me cum every time. Boy let me tell ya I never let that stuffed dog out of my sight ! Then as a young teen I was desperately horny one day in the barn and used a very bumpy ear of corn. To this day at least two or more times every summer--I go shopping at the farmers market for a good ear of corn with very uneven kernels. I've added a condom--pesticides you know! LOL I tell ya those kernels feel ohhhhhhh sooooooo good!! Does this make me a vegetarian? Tee hee hee

Ticklish709

 

[bibethhotwet]

My kinky husband (not that I'm not) got an idea from a video sometime ago on an XXX website Dawns Place. He loves to watch me masturbate with a unpeeled banana then after orgasm peel it soak it in my pussy and feed it to him..of course i love the taste too. LOL..have had to explain to more than one grocery store clerk our desire to be ..ahumm..health concious. Course a couple of female clerks gave us that "knowing look"..I don't think they were fooled.

 

[ticklish709]

Ohhhhh good idea

My kinky husband (not that I'm not) got an idea from a video sometime ago on an XXX website Dawns Place. He loves to watch me masturbate with a unpeeled banana then after orgasm peel it soak it in my pussy and feed it to him..of course i love the taste too. LOL..have had to explain to more than one grocery store clerk our desire to be ..ahumm..health concious. Course a couple of female clerks gave us that "knowing look"..I don't think they were fooled.

Ohhhhh this sounds like fun. Any tips on the best kind of nanners? LOL Hmmm I've got time tonight to try this. You just can't get a good corncob in winter!

Tickish709

 

[Debbie920]

Yep the pillow technique was used many times while i was exploring my body at the age of 11-12 but wow never thought of the bath as anything other than a location for a warm play of only i thought of using it as an actually peice of equipment lol.

I do enjoy a gokd play wih fruit and veg ( i still love finding fun shapes to use)

The weridest thing for me i guess was my sister. Dolly mainly bcause its hands was soft and rubbed against my clit gave me amazing orgasms as the little fingers flicked onto my clit. At the age of 12 it didnt seem werid to Me but now looking back its a bit mental.