What to do...What to do...

[PacificBlue]

I'm sitting here dreading going back to the office tomorrow. I had a rather unpleasant event last week and although it came out in my favor...I'm watching my back carefully.

How do you stop giving energy to something you really have no control over?

 

[hatara]

Tranquilizers help and no I am not kidding.

Oh and as good as they are......

slipping them to the other person works too!

 

[Oasis690]

i am watching the back on your av carefully too!

you have to find a way to release the things you can't control, whether that means letting your "god" deal with it, or just realizing things happen everyday we have no control over and that is life. When I believed in God it was easy to just let that stuff go. Now that my beliefs have changed I still let it go, there is just too much garbage in the world to worry about what other people are doing. Take the high ground and don't worry about idiots, even if you do have to work with them.

 

[PacificBlue]

I shouldn't have to drug myself to get through life.

I need some suggestions as to what to do next...

 

[PacificBlue]

i am watching the back on your av carefully too!

you have to find a way to release the things you can't control, whether that means letting your "god" deal with it, or just realizing things happen everyday we have no control over and that is life. When I believed in God it was easy to just let that stuff go. Now that my beliefs have changed I still let it go, there is just too much garbage in the world to worry about what other people are doing. Take the high ground and don't worry about idiots, even if you do have to work with them.

Easy. *IF* it hadn't almost put a complete halt to my career and almost cost me a significant chunk of change. It was all based on a lie too. That's what really gets me...a lie.

 

[sufisaint]

Do what i did after 5 years of putting up with back stabbing lying little weasels at my job.....leave.....

 

[PacificBlue]

That isn't an option. I need the income. Besides the fact that overall I like my job. This *incident* came out of left field.

 

[Oasis690]

Easy. *IF* it hadn't almost put a complete halt to my career and almost cost me a significant chunk of change. It was all based on a lie too. That's what really gets me...a lie.

so can you say more? are you a man or woman? it sounds like a sexual harrassment allegation. that is a tough road to deal with, I had a girlfriend go through some of that.

 

[PacificBlue]

It isn't sexual harassment, it is just a game. It's about being #1 and squashing anybody who gets in this person's way. I'm a woman. What is ironic is that I don't want this person's position, I just want to do my position well and be rewarded fairly for it. I find it interesting that the last two people in my position were both fired due to feedback this person gave upper management.

 

[Oasis690]

is there anyway to talk to upper management without risking your job?
if it is like most companies that answer is no, you must follow the chain of command!
that is hard to do when your boss is an idiot, especially rude and/or a liar
I feel for you

I would say all you can do is just do the best you can at your job and don't worry about the other person's behavior or feelings towards you. if it doesn't work out, at least you will know you were not the one at fault.

good luck.

 

[ranajja]

Why, PB...

...sounds as if we work for the same dang company!

I hear you, dahlin'.

Why can't we just do our job, and be recognized for the good work we do, and not have to play the games? Can't talk to management, they just don't want to know. And frown upon those who just want to be honest and up front.

I lose sleep on a regular basis.

 

[lorddragonwolf]

if you think this person will retailiate you should go to upper management before they do. try not to dwell on it. and if all else fails get them fired.

 

[hatara]

It isn't sexual harassment, it is just a game. It's about being #1 and squashing anybody who gets in this person's way. I'm a woman. What is ironic is that I don't want this person's position, I just want to do my position well and be rewarded fairly for it. I find it interesting that the last two people in my position were both fired due to feedback this person gave upper management.

Maybe making an appointment with the human resouces department or upper management to talk to them about this and point that out. If not just be very careful what you do and say to this person and document everything. The person calls write it in you calendar, when, subject of discussion, anything that will remind you what went on. It's sad but this happens.

The person is insecure in their own job and they think if they can get rid of the person in your position they will be "safe".

 

[zantac666]

You could go up to the person and whisper in his ear and tell him if he tells another lie about you you will rip his balls off and use them for decorations on top of your computer.

Or do like my mother did and retire and go on sick leave for three weeks before the day of retirement and then come back for your party.

good luck .

 

[Cheyenne]

If not just be very careful what you do and say to this person and document everything. The person calls write it in you calendar, when, subject of discussion, anything that will remind you what went on. It's sad but this happens.

Exactly. I've done the documentation method more than once, and it works. The people who have tried to get me fired are now the ones who are gone themselves. Truth wins in the end if you give them no ammunition to use against you.

 

[PacificBlue]

Upper management knows. They asked me what was going on and considering that I've never lied to them believed me when I told them the truth about what had happened.

What upsets me most is that this person continues to lie to my face. It hurts that this person thinks that little of me. I feel sorry that they feel that they have to play games to keep their job.

 

[islandman]

I'm sitting here dreading going back to the office tomorrow. I had a rather unpleasant event last week and although it came out in my favor...I'm watching my back carefully.

How do you stop giving energy to something you really have no control over?

Go to bed with someone and work that energy off

 

[Orwell84]

I deal with some of these types of issues professionally, so I'll give you my two cents worth.

First, are you clear on why this is going on, or what it is really about? Are you dealing with someone who's insecure.

Second, is this person having problems getting along with others. Is this a new situation, or is it something that has been going on for a while. Who has been with the company longer, you or the problem child?

Next, is this person your superior, or do you work on roughly the same level.

Be sure you size up the politics and the loyalties in your workplace. What I'm saying is that you want to careful not to complain to the people your problem is most closely alligned with because that will be an exercise in futility.

If you do not think you can address this with HR in your specific workplace, consider talking to HR at the corporate level or it's equivolent.

Perhaps you can transfer within the company so you do not have to work around the problem person.

Documenting is definitely a good idea.

If you can't resolve the problem internally, you may wish to look for external remedies.

Ultimately, if you can't resolve this problem, it is better to get away from the problem than to lose your sanity over it.

 

[lorddragonwolf]

it is still harassement. and he she can be reported to managment. it can be hard to deal with and you worry what can happen to yiu if you do report it. trust me i know its a pain in the neck. if it gets worse you need to ask managment to step in before something happens to you.

 

[weed]

So you've already gone to management.

Sounds like it's time for a deep breath and go in and see what happens. I agree with the documentation approach.

I have also found that honesty and forthrightness always works for me. Be cordial but reserved with this person. For me, I think I would have to approach them directly but kindly and privately and ask them why they think they have to use lies against you. Be prepared to keep your cool no matter what the answer is though. He/she wins a little battle when you get flustered.

But you have to judge what's right for you in this particular situation.

Good luck!!!