What the HELL is wrong with girls!

[browncow]

Ok,
I have this aquantance who I talk to when I see her and for the last couple months have been trying to become better friends with her because she is cool. Recently we ended up at the same party and she became massively sick. Being the nice guy I am I took care of her till she felt better. Now since that party she won't answer her phone, rarely talks online etc. I figure she might be busy, so no big dea right. Well I call her tonight to see what is going on and this guy picks up and says, "She is playing pool, she'll get back to you" and hangs up. Now, to me this seems like one of those times when a girl has a guy pick up because she doesn't wanna talk to him.

So, i talk to one of her friends about it and ask what is up with the could shoulder. Turns out everyone thought I was hitting on her at the party and she doesnt like that I hit on her all the time. OK, BACK THE FUCK UP!! When is rubbing someones back who is puking in mulch for 45 minutes hitting on someone???? When is calling someone on party nights and once in a while another night to see what's up hitting on them???? Did I just not get the notice??

It might just be her friend (and mine) guessing about what happened, but it just seems to fit. I was told by like 6 of my friends that i should "go for it" because I was "All over her" at the party before this incident, but i thought nothing of it.

This really pisses me off that someone would jump to a conclusion like this and ignore someone because they assume something that isn't true. When did girls become this fucking psycho???




p.s.- I will admit that I think she is cute, but she doesn't seem like my type and I just wanted to become friends with her because i dont REALLY know her personality.

 

[Vixandra]

I've a t-shirt that declairs "Some girls ARE crazy" and its true.

Maybe in her ill state she thought you were hitting on her because you cared. So leave her alone for the time being and chalk it up to experiance.
Not much more you can do.

As to why she thought you were hitting on her- maybe there aren't that many nice guys in her realm of exsistance so you being nice appeared like something else to her.

 

[TirelessTongue]

I've been in your situation dozens of times. I'm sure the girl appreciates that you took care of her, but I feel that she is already into someone else. She might have mistaken your care for her that night as advances toward her.

Nice guys get that cold shoulder all the time. It is a shitty feeling for sure. But my advice to you would be to just move on. You'll be glad you did.

And don't sweat it ! Party chicks are a dime a dozen and sooner or later you'll find out for yourself that party girls aren't relationship material. They don't exactly make very good friends either because they are so shifty.

*personally, I would have let that stupid girl be sick all by herself. Probably from drinking too much....which is not a good trait. Fucking disgusting*

 

[bertrande]

If you really value her friendship send her a note that says you are confused about what happened and you believe that she thinks you tried to hit on her at the party. Explain that you were just looking after her because you didn't want to see her sick.

If she is rational she will read it and ring you, if she isn't run as fast as you can and never look back.

 

[nycphoto]

I would have to say: when writing the chapters of you life keep this one a mystery and move on to the next conquest the next Girl. Just let it go and move on.
Some girls are not worth figuring out.

 

[evesdream]

If you really value her friendship send her a note that says you are confused about what happened and you believe that she thinks you tried to hit on her at the party. Explain that you were just looking after her because you didn't want to see her sick.

If she is rational she will read it and ring you, if she isn't run as fast as you can and never look back.

Don't do this. When she's done sharing this note with all of her friends, you'll regret it.

 

[TempWife]

From a female point of view on the matter and having read only your side of what you think may of happen:

Women can have fluctuating interest levels, one moment she may find you the greatest thing and the next she may not be that into you. The worst thing you can do is to read too deeply into what happened. What you may be reading as rejection, just may be her pulling back from what she remembered as an embarassing situation that you were a witness to. This may seem like erratic behavior to you, but dont take it personally. Remain cool, dont explain yourself, and wait for her to approach you. If she doesnt, move on but stop over analyzing it.

 

[fgarvb1]

From a female point of view on the matter and having read only your side of what you think may of happen:

Women can have fluctuating interest levels, one moment she may find you the greatest thing and the next she may not be that into you. The worst thing you can do is to read too deeply into what happened. What you may be reading as rejection, just may be her pulling back from what she remembered as an embarassing situation that you were a witness to. This may seem like erratic behavior to you, but dont take it personally. Remain cool, dont explain yourself, and wait for her to approach you. If she doesnt, move on but stop over analyzing it.

You got THAT right!

Back in my party days there was this one space cadet (she was for sure tuned in on the cosmic frequency!) who would find me in a certain club kiss and rub me all up one side and then the other ask me to call her and stuff. The next day she wouldn't even hardly know my name! And when she drank!

About the third time this happens the novelty wears off.

Some females are not here with us dude!

 

[abbey_kyle]

you know, I keep coming back to this thread this evening. I wasn’t going to reply but it has bothered me so much that I felt as a member of this community, I have the right to respond, whether or not I think I am going to upset the original poster.

I think there are two issues here that have me rattled. The first is this notion of assumption. browncow, you are frustrated by assumptions made on you, yet the language of your post both in the subject line and in your post is that ALL woman act this way and the direction of this thread has followed this theme with how women treat men or, “When did girls become this fucking psycho???”

In reality, we have one side of the story here, folks. Which brings me to the other issue I have with this post. It is clear that if the woman in question has discussed how she has not liked being “hit on” by you, there are two different ideas of what actions were made by you toward her. While you may feel your actions were that of a friend, her discomfort shows that she did not perceive your actions in this manner.

So tell me why there is something “wrong” with her? I don’t understand this. Because she did not agree that your actions were as you intended them to be? Explain to me that because a woman is not comfortable with how a man has come to her—and discomfort can be anywhere from disinterest to being really fearful—she is suddenly a tease and the one with something “wrong”.

There may be a simple reason in that you have stepped a bit to into her space. Women are a bit protective of their space, especially when it is violated by men they don’t know or trust. We have to be, as women have the most to lose.

So while you are angry at her response and rejection, consider how she may have felt having you there. It could be that as you were present while she was sick, she just might be embarrassed. Either way, look at your role in this also and consider how your actions could have been interpreted by a new lense, through her eyes.

 

[seohdwm46]

Having read all the replys, seems all make good points. Have experienced some myself. Dude, if a woman thinks I am so low as to actually hit on a her while she is puking, the relationship wasn't as "tight" as I thought. It could be nothing more than she feels awkward about vomiting in front of you. Or it could be as one or all of the previous people have said. A man can waste a great deal of time chasing after a woman who is not receptive to his friendship or advances. Time for you to move on. There are planty of women out there who simply want to have a male friend to do things with (non-sexually) or talk to. If you ever run into thr type that hang on you at bars and have nothing to do with you outside of them, run for the freaking hills man!!! They are the worst of the worse, don't waste your time.

 

[browncow]

you know, I keep coming back to this thread this evening. I wasn’t going to reply but it has bothered me so much that I felt as a member of this community, I have the right to respond, whether or not I think I am going to upset the original poster.

I think there are two issues here that have me rattled. The first is this notion of assumption. browncow, you are frustrated by assumptions made on you, yet the language of your post both in the subject line and in your post is that ALL woman act this way and the direction of this thread has followed this theme with how women treat men or, “When did girls become this fucking psycho???”

In reality, we have one side of the story here, folks. Which brings me to the other issue I have with this post. It is clear that if the woman in question has discussed how she has not liked being “hit on” by you, there are two different ideas of what actions were made by you toward her. While you may feel your actions were that of a friend, her discomfort shows that she did not perceive your actions in this manner.

So tell me why there is something “wrong” with her? I don’t understand this. Because she did not agree that your actions were as you intended them to be? Explain to me that because a woman is not comfortable with how a man has come to her—and discomfort can be anywhere from disinterest to being really fearful—she is suddenly a tease and the one with something “wrong”.

There may be a simple reason in that you have stepped a bit to into her space. Women are a bit protective of their space, especially when it is violated by men they don’t know or trust. We have to be, as women have the most to lose.

So while you are angry at her response and rejection, consider how she may have felt having you there. It could be that as you were present while she was sick, she just might be embarrassed. Either way, look at your role in this also and consider how your actions could have been interpreted by a new lense, through her eyes.

The one real problem I have with your post is that you made it sound like I was hitting on her and that because she didn't like it I am calling her a tease. I am not calling her a tease, I was just frustrated that someone who I was just being nice to and helping out turned on me and became psycho. I also don't see how talking to someone is getting in their space, especially when it is just friendly conversation and joking around. It's not like I was calling her everyday wondering what is up, I called on weekends (like i do with pretty much every other friend) and asked what was going on. I also im'ed her online (less than I do my other friends, because i dont know her that well) once in a while to talk. If any of this counts as violating a girls space, then I don't see how that girl in question functions in society. I can see how she could be embarrassed about being sick and throwing up infront of someone, but I never heard of someone who is embarrassed over something cutting off all communication and just ignore the person who was helping them. That, my friend, is just utterly retarded.

 

[LadyJeanne]

The one real problem I have with your post is that you made it sound like I was hitting on her and that because she didn't like it I am calling her a tease. I am not calling her a tease, I was just frustrated that someone who I was just being nice to and helping out turned on me and became psycho. I also don't see how talking to someone is getting in their space, especially when it is just friendly conversation and joking around. It's not like I was calling her everyday wondering what is up, I called on weekends (like i do with pretty much every other friend) and asked what was going on. I also im'ed her online (less than I do my other friends, because i dont know her that well) once in a while to talk. If any of this counts as violating a girls space, then I don't see how that girl in question functions in society. I can see how she could be embarrassed about being sick and throwing up infront of someone, but I never heard of someone who is embarrassed over something cutting off all communication and just ignore the person who was helping them. That, my friend, is just utterly retarded.

You said in your first post that you'd been calling her for a couple of months, trying to get to know her better, because you thought she was cool. All your friends said you were all over her at the party. I'm guessing she didn't ask you to take care of her while she was sick - you did that on your own. Then you're calling her, IMing her, and talking to her friend about it.

It doesn't sound like she was especially interested in getting to know you before the party since you were the one doing all the calling. And you have to consider why all your friends said you were hitting on her - she probably got the same impression they did. Your helping her at the party probably made her uncomfortable because you were being friendlier than she wanted you to.

It is not retarded for her to avoid you. You barely know each other, and she doesn't want to get to know you better. Neither of you are psycho - there's just nothing there for you.

 

[dollface007]

If she's JUST an acquaintence, then what's the big deal? Why the long-ass post?

First of all, the over-the-toilet backrub is reserved for very very close friends...at least in my experience. Maybe she did feel a little violated - not that it was your fault - in that you shared in something very personal that she didn't want you to see. And let's face it, when a girl is sick/drunk, it is prime time for her to be taken advantage of by some sick fuck.

From what your friends said, her "assumptions" weren't way off. DO you flirt with her when you talk to her? I've never had male acquaintences who made and effort to get to know me better because they wanted to be Best Friends Forever. From what it sounds like, no one is actually saying that you were trying to hit on her by rubbing her back when she was ralphing. I just don't see what the big deal is.

BTW, you should probably put your energy into women who can hold their liquor.

 

[human_male]

Sounds to me like you were coming on too strong before the party when you were trying to get to know her. With the phone calls and IMs, did she ever call you or IM you back? If she didn't she obviously wasn't interested and would probably have interpreted your attention as advances. Then at the party, was she responsive to your attention? Did she seem pleased to see you and chat to you or were you just sort of following her around? And when she got sick did she seem grateful you were there or ask you to leave her alone? If she didn't want you there she should have just come out and told you, but some women (not all women by any means) are hardly ever upfront with things like this. It's much easier to just ignore you and hope you'll go away.

I think I can see where she's coming from, it's just a shame she jumped to the wrong conclusion and gave you the cold shoulder instead of actually TALKING to you about it, and explaining why she was uncomfortable or upset with you. She probably has no experience of a guy just genuinly wanting to be friends and getting to know her just to be friends, which is a shame. Just remember friendship is something that devolops naturally between two people. You can call her or IM her initially, but if she doesn't respond take it that she's not interested and leave her alone.

As to what to do now... just forget about it. I guess if you ran into her you could just say you're sorry if you did anything that made her uncomfortable but that would be up to you. Don't call her anymore though. It does seem a shame but you can't do anything about it.

I had a similar experience, not with a woman but with a friend from school. We were quite good friends in school, so when we left school I would often call to see how he was doing and see if he wanted to catch a movie or do something... y'know, the kind of things mates do together. Then I hear from a mutual friend that he's telling all our friends that I'm pestering him, calling him all the time and asking him out. I was rather bemused because I thought I was just being a mate. It's an odd situation when you think someone is a friend, but they don't feel the same way. So I just thought, oh well, fuck him, and didn't see or hear from him ever again.

So anyway, yeah just forget about it.