What makes you what you are?

[TheBlackDahlia]

Sorry if this has been asked before. I'm just curious to know why everyone chose the positions that they now have (no pun intended) be it a dom/me or sub.

 

[Kierae]

blergh, I am really a bad person to answer...

I switch, my sexuality switches, my gender flows so who the hell knows exactly. I have a history and it clearly influences.

~kierae

 

[BiBunny]

I'm going with the cop-out answer: I was born this way. I can't think of any major, defining moment in my life where I realized that dominating or submitting, depending on the situation, was what I just had to have. Like I said in the "How Did You Start?" thread over in Talk, I just sort of fell into it, and it made me happy. That probably wasn't the kind of answer you were looking for, was it?

 

[CutieMouse]

Rare moment of sharing... I am a product of environment, choice, and personality.

 

[Netzach]

Balls, perverse likings, and overparenting.

 

[HB1965]

I'm going with the cop-out answer: I was born this way.

I'm going to have to say the same thing.

 

[myinnerslut]

I'm going to have to say the same thing.

and me as well. both my parents are kinky, so i could say its genetic.

ive had a strong urge to submit since a very young age, was drawn to books about slavery, strong male figures, etc tec.

ive also had pain and pleasure warped together for as long as i can remember.

my first fantasies (i mean way back, before they were blatently sexual) were about being auctioned off to a bunch of men.

as a child growing up i invented games in which i would be "punished" for some made up infraction.

so yeah, im gonna have to say i was born with it

 

[FurryFury]

I yam what I yam.

Please pass the spinach.

Yes, I made a joke and it may sound flippant but I truly believe we are wired a certain way, environment and choice can make some changes but we do come out with core self pretty early IMO.

 

[HB1965]

my first fantasies (i mean way back, before they were blatently sexual) were about being auctioned off to a bunch of men.

Yeah that's a familiar one. I remember those fantasies. I was a rebellious little slave too.

 

[Kierae]

Rare moment of sharing... I am a product of environment, choice, and personality.
.

Perfect answer CM since it is the full meal deal...

~kierae

 

[Netzach]

I was not a slave princess nor was I a captor, although I did tend to get a little dictatorial in my make-believe games. I remember tying myself up mostly. 'Cause it felt good to tie something and good to feel rope pulling.

 

[Kierae]

Which is what makes you a Domme and I a slut..lol.

(have a good evening Netzach =) )

~kierae

 

[intothewoods]

I like a bit of balance to being in control in the rest of my life.

Another idea I've been kicking around - I'm an intense person, and I like my relationships the same. At the end of the day, I don't think my D/s needs are so wildly different than a lot of vanilla women. It's just a more intense, extreme version.

Or I'm just tired and hallucinating.

 

[TheBlackDahlia]

Guess I was born with mine as well. I'll have to say that it's the feminist/independent/angry qualities in me that made me this way.
(1) My family is mostly made up of strong, over-bearing women who pretty much take over the house-hold while the men stood back and let them do as they please. During middle school years I decided that I'd be damned if I ever let a man control me or my life.
(2) Also, ever since before I could remember, I never took orders well at all. Anytime I was told to do something I didn't want to, I'd talk back and give an argument (hence, why I'd make a really bad sub).
(3) Plus, I always had a violent side to my personality. When I'm angry I tend to either want to throw things or bite someone (though I never do either). I always fantasized about biting my partner or scratching them/digging my nails into their skin during sex.

 

[TheBlackDahlia]

I'm going with the cop-out answer: I was born this way. I can't think of any major, defining moment in my life where I realized that dominating or submitting, depending on the situation, was what I just had to have. Like I said in the "How Did You Start?" thread over in Talk, I just sort of fell into it, and it made me happy. That probably wasn't the kind of answer you were looking for, was it?

That's actually fine. What ever answer you have is okay

 

[Quint]

...........

 

[WriterDom]

I blame it on Anne Rice.

 

[HottieMama]

Up until the point i discovered D/s i never had happy, fulfilling relationships in my life...and i always wondered what was wrong with me that i was incapable of having this "fairytale love" that my friends had. When i sat down and began reading and thinking, something clicked for me. Two things were missing...control and belonging.

i needed someone to exert loving control over me in order to help me to be a better person/partner/lover etc. i knew what abusive control was...been there...done that... What i never experienced was the guidance and wisdom of someone who truly had my best interest at heart.

Belonging... Without getting too personal, let's just say i have always felt like the one furtively clinging to something that wasn't there in all of my previous relationships...and never really having anyone to rely on. It is in that way that the concept of being someone's "property" became appealing to me. No matter what, i would belong to them. There would be mutual responsibility in our relationship. (This is my idealized view...my first two D/s relationships were nothing like this...)

i don't know if that makes any sense, but it was the discovery of needing those two things that made me seek a D/s relationship and make me realize that i am a submissive woman and not just a bitch that likes kinky sex...lol.

 

[cmcook]

Sorry if this has been asked before. I'm just curious to know why everyone chose the positions that they now have (no pun intended) be it a dom/me or sub.

I have to say my photography work, a collection of memories and good times creating art with all manner of creative and wonderful people, and the memory being the something i'll always have.

 

[the captians wench]

I blame it on my momma. *giggles*

but seriously I was raised to be "the perfect biblical wife". I was taught to cook and clean and all the other domestic goodies. I was taught to be seen and not heard, and to always honor my husband as the head of the house, his rule is law, etc. etc. etc.

My mom had a bit of a guilt complex when I first dove into the world of BDSM because she "never thought I would take what she taught me so far". She didn't understand what a submissive really is, and worried that I was setting myself up to be hurt.

But I notice I'm happiest when I'm making other people happy, how ever I can do that. Whether that's because of how I was born, or parentle influence, or what ever, that's the bottom line.

 

[somberReality]

Um.....not really sure. Was raised to be very independent but deep down i just want to be taken care of and not have all the responsibility.......but that in itself is an internal war........