What makes someone "chattractive?"

[ColonelCrow]

I need some help, fellow Literoticans. Other than the standard social media sites, I'm more or less new to the world of online socializing, despite having had an e-mail address since 1987.

Here's my quandary.

I feel like I know what to do to make myself attractive in real life to the types of women I myself find attractive. Be funny, be kind, be witty and well-read, be open-minded and be honest and be a good listener. And sure, be more or less fit, or at least comfortable and confident in your own body.

I can't figure out how to translate that into this online world, particularly when it comes to chat rooms and personals ads. I don't know what the overlap is between these boards and the Literotica chat rooms is, so I don't know if those reading here are familiar with those rooms, but they seem to be, well, quiet and cheerless. Lots of people logged on (many with screen names I find mysterious, at least in terms of being attractive) but very few people actually talking. And humor, curiosity, or even biography expressed in open chat yields little in the way of conversation, much less what we're frankly all there for, private one-on-one interactions.

So in terms of chat rooms, but also, yes, in terms of these message boards, what do you find provocative and attractive? What's charming? What's sexy? What would make you want to enter a private chat room with someone you've never met for an hour or two of fun chatting, role-playing, picture exchange, or whatever else might develop?

 

[Aquagal]

I thought Lit chat rooms never worked.

Hmmm...your initial post was okay. A little dry, lighten it up some. NO TEXT SPEAK!!!! Wit goes a long way.

 

[ColonelCrow]

Hmmm...your initial post was okay. A little dry, lighten it up some. NO TEXT SPEAK!!!! Wit goes a long way.

Thanks, Aquagal. I don't use text speak because I don't even know what it is (though I imagine it's the acronyms and jargon that fly over my head in those rooms, sometimes).

Dry, eh? Thanks for the note. This wasn't a come-on post, as I hope you recognize, but your point is well taken, thanks.

 

[ColonelCrow]

Oh, also, is this the wrong forum to have posted this in? I chose it because it's attached to the personals forums, but admittedly this place seems to be more about games and light chat. Is there a better place to have placed this topic?

 

[Aquagal]

Thanks, Aquagal. I don't use text speak because I don't even know what it is (though I imagine it's the acronyms and jargon that fly over my head in those rooms, sometimes).

Dry, eh? Thanks for the note. This wasn't a come-on post, as I hope you recognize, but your point is well taken, thanks.

Oh, also, is this the wrong forum to have posted this in? I chose it because it's attached to the personals forums, but admittedly this place seems to be more about games and light chat. Is there a better place to have placed this topic?

This is probably a good forum for your feedback. It wasn't a personal ad, more of...give me some advice.

Text speak= my dik is sooo hot 4 u. Or something like that. See, I'm not even good at that. It just hurts the eyes.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Well, it's not this thread you're talking about Aquagal, because you're posting in it, so I feel safe posting here too. lol

---

What attracts me to a man on Lit.

My AVs, sigs, and images are usually turned off, so how they present themselves on the board is what piques my interest. Since I can't "judge" their appearance, they really have to draw me in with their wit, humor and intelligence. If they converse with a level of smarts that speaks more of their upper head and not their lower one, then I'll continue to chat with them too. If I'm still interested then I'll slip over and peek at their profile - if it's empty without an image then my attraction to them slides.

The image doesn't even have to be sexual. It can be something fun and comical, or it can be a picture of some scenic view. The point is that it tells me something about the person posting.

I also enjoy talking to a person on the boards before they PM me, sure there are times a person will PM me and they've not posted and we'll talk, but for it to ever go beyond a simple exchange of pleasantries - well that's rare and only happens on their lucky days.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

responsiveness

 

[sunshinegirl05]

If they can carry on a conversation beyond the telling me how hot they think I am, how cute I am, how much I turn them on....etc......

 

[ColonelCrow]

The image doesn't even have to be sexual. It can be something fun and comical, or it can be a picture of some scenic view. The point is that it tells me something about the person posting.

I guess I should try again to put up an image. I've had the devil's own time getting the sizing right for those. I put up some pictures in the pictures threads, though. But not the kind I'd want as my avatar and so on.

 

[newbiebabe]

To quote you....

Be funny, be kind, be witty and well-read, be open-minded and be honest and be a good listener.

Yep, that's what I've looked for.. be yourself.

 

[GrrlFriday]

A lot of women, too, aren't interested in talking too flirtatiously with married men.

 

[ColonelCrow]

A lot of women, too, aren't interested in talking too flirtatiously with married men.

Sure, and that's perfectly understandable. But there are married and otherwise attached women here, too. I've not concealed my married status. Literotica seems a pretty judgement-free zone in that department. Not interested in married people? That's fine.

 

[Aquagal]

I guess I should try again to put up an image. I've had the devil's own time getting the sizing right for those. I put up some pictures in the pictures threads, though. But not the kind I'd want as my avatar and so on.

I can't get it to jive through my computer either without it looking distorted so I found an image converter site and it does it in seconds. No account needed.

 

[ColonelCrow]

If they can carry on a conversation beyond the telling me how hot they think I am, how cute I am, how much I turn them on....etc......

Sure, that makes sense. It's got to be...I guess pluralistic is the word I'm thinking of? Or small c catholic. Interest in the whole person--that's what attraction is.

 

[Aquagal]

Oh I forgot, you have to wait til you get 100 posts before you put up your cock Av.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Oh I forgot, you have to wait til you get 100 posts before you put up your cock Av.

NOOOOOOOO

 

[ColonelCrow]

Oh I forgot, you have to wait til you get 100 posts before you put up your cock Av.

Hah! I'm thinking of waiting until post 350 before I do that.

(In all seriousness, is there a post count you have to hit before you can have an icon image?)

 

[ColonelCrow]

Yep, that's what I've looked for.. be yourself.

Myself is the only person I know how to be, newbiebabe. Whether or not I'm expressing it precisely the right way is the question.

Maybe I should start a "sexy pictures in front of loaded-down bookshelves" thread.

 

[GrrlFriday]

A few strategically-placed books always make for a fun picture.

Additionally, your posts tend to have a bit of thought in them - I feel like I can get a bit of a sense of who you are through them, which is probably a false comfort, but still better than trying to sift through lots of 'game posts' for clues.

 

[newbiebabe]

Hah! I'm thinking of waiting until post 350 before I do that.

(In all seriousness, is there a post count you have to hit before you can have an icon image?)

Yes, you must have 100 posts before posting an AV.. you are well on your way so hang in there.

 

[ColonelCrow]

Additionally, your posts tend to have a bit of thought in them - I feel like I can get a bit of a sense of who you are through them, which is probably a false comfort, but still better than trying to sift through lots of 'game posts' for clues.

I hope it's not a false comfort. I'm trying to be as open and honest here as I reasonably can be, given the expectation of at least initial and/or community anonymity that seems to be in operation (I mean, I respect in others and expect for myself a degree of privacy in the forums, but also understand that that might drop a bit in private communication).

The "game posts" are interesting and fun in a light way, but yes, seem an unlikely source of real communication, except maybe over the very long term.

 

[GrrlFriday]

Some people change completely in private... I just like to remind myself that 'what you see is what you get' doesn't work with everyone.

 

[ColonelCrow]

Some people change completely in private... I just like to remind myself that 'what you see is what you get' doesn't work with everyone.

True enough and fair enough.