What made me flinch now makes me hard

[volvin]

The first time I came in contact with BDSM or more precisely became aware that it was a actual sub-culture and not pornography with costumes was when I found Literatica and read a few stories in the BDSM category. At the time I found the S/M aspects of it completely unappealing except as a punishment which I still find not arousing but interesting (the word “comforting” comes to mind but I cant put in words why). B/D I find arousing and still love to read a decent story about it along as it contains consent but the thing that made me stay and read hundreds of stories and more Yahoo searches on it then I care to recount trying to understand the mechanism and dynamics behind D/S a subject that fascinates me no end, at first glance easy to understand but when you look closer at it a mind blower at best or unsolvable at worst. I honestly believe the only way to really get my head around it is to experience it first
Hand to come degree.


Of course being human my perceptions and beliefs can change at a moments notice, which I found out not so long ago. Now to explain this properly (more for my sake then yours so bear with me hehe) I will need to state my sexual preference in terms of masturbating material. First when I was younger it was everyday normal porn (Had the internet since I was 14 downloaded a clip of a Russian soldier getting shot in the head 2 weeks latter almost nothing is shocking to me at least thought a monitor, 6 years latter) over time I sought out more “rough” forms of pornography to the point that if it was consenting I could get off on it. Around 6 months ago I was searching the net and came across a Anima porn site didn’t really interest me but as I was searching I found a comic depicting acts of extreme torture of a consenting nature which I found hot as well which unnerved me a little bit I had Watched S/m movies before seeing a girl/boy geting whipped and it did nothing for me but make me flinch. The pain on there faces was a turn-off to me but after 5 months of using these comics and others like it to get off (and over time finding more and more extreme cases of it to the point that I could enjoy some rather sick stuff as long as it it was consenting please understand that SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME) keep In mind all of this was animated not photos. So I watched a S/M film from “Sex and Submission” last nigh rather heavy on pain side, to my surprise it turned me on in a big way, pain was on the subjects face and I still found it arousing. all of it consenting in nature and not overly cruel but still pretty heavy atleast for me.

So something that use to turn me off now turns me on. I spent a lot of time thinking about this and have come to the conclusion my dislike for S/M steamed from social conditioning we are taught from birth that torture is wrong even if it is Safe. Sane, Consensual or maybe i just now view it in a diffrent light ( i dont see view ropes and crops as Instruments of torture atleast not as i would have a few years ago)
So over time over time that barrier was broken down in my mind. Or to be perfectly honest this is the only thing I could come up with.

It does bother me that even if it is a carton in essence I still find it stimulating but above all I believe in Safe. Sane, Consensual long before I read it in some BDSM site or was it a Gay site hmm.

What I would like to hear is your option on this.
Weather you have had a similar experience with a turn-off that became a turn-on or anything at all you all would like to add

Ps. I hope I put my thought in an understandable way if not let me know I will try again and please forgive my poor spelling

 

[sexychik69]

Well there are of course many things that can not only "arouse" one sexually, but instill a mental stimulation, or grab one's attention. For me, I've learned to like many things that I did not find appealing when first introduced to them, such as fisting, biting, the ability and desire to collar someone, and many forms of bondage. Most of my change of mind was influenced either by a past Dom or a close friend that found one of the above subjects appealing and introduced me to different aspects of their existance. I.e. fisting is not just merely shoving your hand into someone, but rather a very spiritual experience, to which the fistee is allowing him/herself to be intruded upon in one of the most intense ways by such powerful penetration. After seeing fisting from that angle, I began to enjoy it more and more.

I think in your case perhaps the more your attention was subjected to something, the more tolerance you obtained for it. Either that, or something in your mind was stimulated in a different way than usual... something "clicked" and you saw what you were viewing in a different light, a better one, to which sparked your interest and arousal.

It's different for everyone, but I think the more open-minded you allow yourself to be, the more one will not necessarily like, but at least appreciate.

 

[volvin]

Well there are of course many things that can not only "arouse" one sexually, but instill a mental stimulation, or grab one's attention. For me, I've learned to like many things that I did not find appealing when first introduced to them, such as fisting, biting, the ability and desire to collar someone, and many forms of bondage. Most of my change of mind was influenced either by a past Dom or a close friend that found one of the above subjects appealing and introduced me to different aspects of their existance. I.e. fisting is not just merely shoving your hand into someone, but rather a very spiritual experience, to which the fistee is allowing him/herself to be intruded upon in one of the most intense ways by such powerful penetration. After seeing fisting from that angle, I began to enjoy it more and more.

I think in your case perhaps the more your attention was subjected to something, the more tolerance you obtained for it. Either that, or something in your mind was stimulated in a different way than usual... something "clicked" and you saw what you were viewing in a different light, a better one, to which sparked your interest and arousal.

It's different for everyone, but I think the more open-minded you allow yourself to be, the more one will not necessarily like, but at least appreciate.

That may be true, for instance it took me awhile to understanding that some enjoy mild forms of pain being inflicted on them and some submit to it to please their partner. Or even other reasons everyone is different. I have always thought of my self as open minded person.

Thank you for Replying sexychik69

 

[sexychik69]

That may be true, for instance it took me awhile to understanding that some enjoy mild forms of pain being inflicted on them and some submit to it to please their partner. Or even other reasons everyone is different. I have always thought of my self as open minded person.

Thank you for Replying sexychik69

You're very welcome. I'm glad I could hopefully be some bit of help and clarity.

 

[volvin]

Im bumping this. i dont even remember posting this

 

[madetotakeit]

I think this has a lot to do with basic human nature. You become desensitized to things with repeated exposure. The mind is malleable to protect itself. That same ability is also at work with the kink factor.

The first reaction may be uneasiness that leads to fascination that can then lead to a need. It may even be repulsion. But if you continue to indulge that exposure, it stands to reason that it triggered something on a subconscious level. I had a similar reaction when I first saw a BDSM movie involving what appeared to be serious pain. I cringed, I squirmed, but I did not look away.

We are conditioned by the mainstream to be averse to anything that brings into question the status quo. "Be a good sheep and stick with the flock." We are not supposed to enjoy pain. Pain is used as a punishment during childhood (Okay, it was. I certainly earned my share of strokes of the belt, spanking was ineffective as a deterrent early on for me.) We are not supposed to have more than one partner, especially at one time. Personally I think this was an attempt to keep the gene pool as broad as possible during times of lower populations...I certainly don't see it having been effective in curtailing people having multiple partners if that is what they really want. We are not supposed to have interspecies encounters. Even though you can find historical and artistic references to these acts dating as far back as when man first had the inclination to leave his mark.

Judging by the spam that is out there, these seem to be the most popular subjects for porn. Chance encounters can give exposure to things that one would not seek out of their own volition. But at some point whatever left its mark in your psyche is going to be revisited until it goes from a curiosity to a need.

 

[Adakgirl]

Well of course, happens to people all the time as they grow-up.
I have to add, that the 1st sentence you wrote was the longest sentence I have ever read in my life. It was difficult to read,

 

[Guest]

I agree with most of the comments about cultural conditioning, but I'd like to add a slightly different perspective. I never even THOUGHT about BDSM 8 years ago, and I've been 24/7 for nearly 7 years now. Some of the things I've done (and had done to me) would have absolutely appalled me before. Now, they're huge turn-ons. I mean, what "normal" male likes cock and ball torture? And this is one of the milder ones that I've experienced.

So, how did I get from being appalled to being turned on? Obviously, there's something inside me that responds to it. I think that everyone, if they're honest with themselves, have fantasies that are "forbidden," at least as they see it, disgusting on one level but nevertheless intriguing. It's kind of the "I'd never do that but I keep thinking about it" theme. If there's nothing inside that responds to the idea, why would someone keep thinking about it?

I think what moved me from shudders to ecstasy is pretty simple: classical conditioning. Taking the CBT as an example, My Mistress slowly paired sexual arousal (the unconditioned stimulus) with increasing amounts of pain (the conditioned stimulus), until pain itself caused arousal. The fact that this kind of practice is "kinky" was also a turn-on and added to the arousal.

It sounds like something like that happened with your choice of porn. Pair enough exposure to something with sexual arousal, and the something becomes arousing. I have noticed that vanilla fantasies and practices are far less of a turn-on for me. I don't know if that means I've become desensitized or re-oriented in my arousal. I'm thinking re-oriented.

Don't know if ramble contributes anything. Thanks for listening, though.