What is your biggest kitchen fail?

[Tryharder62]

Before kids I was trying to make my husband some garlic fish- we were newlyweds. I however, did not know the difference between a clove and a bulb. It asked for a clove and of course I added a bulb!!!!

As I was gaining kitchen experience I was putting a pizza in the oven for my kids. I didn't take the card board off the bottom and when I opened the oven the crust was running over the side of the cardboard and was wet and mushy.

 

[rae121452]

i've been pretty lucky in the kitchen and i'd rather eat my own cooking than anyone else's. i remember a thanksgiving at a friend's house when she didn't know that yu were supposed to remove the neck, giblets. et al from the turkey and was astonished when she found them inside after roasting. and that bulb garlic fish sounds delicious, i would have thought you were a gourmet chef.

 

[Tryharder62]

i've been pretty lucky in the kitchen and i'd rather eat my own cooking than anyone else's. i remember a thanksgiving at a friend's house when she didn't know that yu were supposed to remove the neck, giblets. et al from the turkey and was astonished when she found them inside after roasting. and that bulb garlic fish sounds delicious, i would have thought you were a gourmet chef.

You're the kind of friend I need! It was really hard to get the smell of garlic out of the house. Do you have a specialty that you like to cook?

 

[KeithD]

I was making a Milky Way cake (eight Milky Way bars) and the phone rang. The flour never got added. We had chocolate-caramel glaze for a pretty long time.

 

[rae121452]

You're the kind of friend I need! It was really hard to get the smell of garlic out of the house. Do you have a specialty that you like to cook?

i'm old school. chili, mac and cheese, marzetti's...basically the stuff you can get at any good cafeteria or diner. i love to cook and i'm pretty casual about it so my dishes are never exactly alike.

 

[DeluxAuto]

Ground turkey in the crock pot. I'm not even sure what that ended up being.

 

[Aglaopheme]

Pretty much anything that I need to measure, time or follow directions exactly to prepare properly. I’m a wing it kinda gal.

 

[thør]

I don't believe I've ever had a kitchen fail....

I had a grilling fail, once. It had to do with pork spareribs and a lot of beer. They were hard and dry, much like crispy pork jerky. Fucking embarrassing.

 

[Saint_Ann]

I tried cooking a conch once that I found while wade fishing in the Gulf of Mexico. Took about 6 hours to beat it out of its shell. It looked like a big gray tongue when it finally oozed out. Then I started cooking it and it got tougher and tougher to where you couldn't pierce it with a fork. It stunk up the entire condo then the whole block and then Pinellas County.

I eventually took it to work and threw it in the dumpster.

 

[ef_oh_ex]

Not a Huge fail, by I gave Bruschetta a try:
fresh garden tomato, but all the spices I added didn't flavor it enough -
more garlic & herbs next time !!

 

[Tigersman]

I've had two fails. I was going to fix Macaroni and cheese with green beans, peas, and tuna added. My brain decided to take a hike on me so I forgot how to make Mac and cheese. I tried looking it up in a cookbook but what I ended up with was Mac and cheese casserole. The other fail was I fixed asparagus with cheese topping at home then took it to the relatives for Christmas dinner. I reheated it in the microwave. Big mistake. The cheese turned to rubber.

 

[Ziggins]

Kitchen design can be as challenging as the rest of the house. Some architecture firms hire kitchen specialist architects. One common failure is a space designed for a standard appliance size, with no room to grow. A bigger refrigerator may need surgery on cabinets or walls, or putting it in another room.

I have been thinking of replacing my cabinets and countertop with other storage solutions and a basic table or workbench, but I would need to hire someone for the sink work.

 

[dolf]

Other than the usual parental thing, where a kid does something stupid and, while you're dashing off to save them, shit gets burnt? I don't think I've ever had a disaster. I rarely use recipes, usually taste as i go along or go for the quantity that would be logical.

 

[Celand]

When I started dating my wife ( 30 years ago) I have invited her to to my apt. to make our very first home dinner. At the time I was working in a hospital lab where I was trying to make some blood cells lysing reagent. This reagent contained saponin and cyanide. Being a weekend and me having a deadline I have taken the "ingredients" home. After preparing and bottling the stuff I have washed the pot in which I made the concoction ( or so I thought)....

My future wife unknowingly cooked broccoli in the same pot. She asked me why the water with broccoli is foaming slightly, to which I replied maybe some soap residue not too worry.

Sitting down to dinner we both noticed the broccoli having a distinct almond flavor common to cyanide. My then GF asked me if there is a reason the broccoli pot may contain it. To my horror I finally paid attention to what she was saying earlier NOT just to the sexy apron ( with nothing else underneath) she wore.

We both spat the broccoli out and threw the rest out.

Even 30 years later when she gets mad at me for some reason she asks:" Would you like me to cook some broccoli for you?"

 

[SpeareChucker]

I've had things not go right, maybe a little burning,
an overflow, undercooked or bad seasoning,
but no real epic fails come to mind.

I've never had to call the fire department
or the paramedics, for example.

Every once in a while the dogs get a treat;
they really do seem to have no palate,
hell, I've seen them eat cat shit.

 

[BrokenBarbie]

I’ve managed to burn ramen noodles.

I’m not allowed to use the stove.

 

[Conager]

Decades ago, I was cooking dinner for a date. I got it into my head to make teriyaki chicken. I, at the time, had great false confidence in my cooking ability because most of the things I had ever tried turned out great. . .or at least edible.

I didn't have a recipe and I had no idea what goes into a teriyaki glaze. One of the things that I wouldn't have known about at the time is fresh ginger. I correctly guess that's why sauce would be involved and it was sweet so I'm looking for sugar and I find that I have no sugar in the house or even corn syrup. I decided that I would do my own little riff on it and used blueberry pancake syrup as my base.

Not good.

 

[Carnage2020]

Not long after I got married I tried to make a chicken korma. Unfortunately the smell of the coconut milk cooking along with the spices was quite potent and it ended with both me and my wife throwing up. We ended up putting the pan and it's contents into the garden and ordering takeaway.

I still cannot smell a korma without starting to feel ill

 

[Tryharder62]

When I started dating my wife ( 30 years ago) I have invited her to to my apt. to make our very first home dinner. At the time I was working in a hospital lab where I was trying to make some blood cells lysing reagent. This reagent contained saponin and cyanide. Being a weekend and me having a deadline I have taken the "ingredients" home. After preparing and bottling the stuff I have washed the pot in which I made the concoction ( or so I thought)....

My future wife unknowingly cooked broccoli in the same pot. She asked me why the water with broccoli is foaming slightly, to which I replied maybe some soap residue not too worry.

Sitting down to dinner we both noticed the broccoli having a distinct almond flavor common to cyanide. My then GF asked me if there is a reason the broccoli pot may contain it. To my horror I finally paid attention to what she was saying earlier NOT just to the sexy apron ( with nothing else underneath) she wore.

We both spat the broccoli out and threw the rest out.

Even 30 years later when she gets mad at me for some reason she asks:" Would you like me to cook some broccoli for you?"

I'm calling this one. . In what lab could you leave with saponin and cyanide? Who would mix them in a cooking pan at home? Who would let the pan be used for cooking right after? If you had them in your mouth wouldn't that at least make you Sick? This amateur detective wants to know!

 

[FantasyXY]

I guess failure is an option

I once tried to roast some habanero peppers in a pan on the stove. When the peppers opened up the entire house filled with what was in essence military grade pepper spray, and no one could get near enough to the stove to turn it off. I finally put on my automotive painting mask (which barely helped) and grabbed the pan off the stove and took it outside.

We couldn't stay in the house very long without having coughing fits for a couple of days after that little mistake, which really sucked because it was winter. In fact, being cold outside is what prompted me to try roasting peppers in the house in the first place. What a dumb idea.

 

[Saint_Ann]

I once tried to roast some habanero peppers in a pan on the stove. When the peppers opened up the entire house filled with what was in essence military grade pepper spray, and no one could get near enough to the stove to turn it off. I finally put on my automotive painting mask (which barely helped) and grabbed the pan off the stove and took it outside.

We couldn't stay in the house very long without having coughing fits for a couple of days after that little mistake, which really sucked because it was winter. In fact, being cold outside is what prompted me to try roasting peppers in the house in the first place. What a dumb idea.

Excellent! You're lucky no one died.

 

[Scareltt]

Too much garlic..

I was making dinner for a guy I was dating in high school, I decided to make my mom’s pasta con broccoli (I was so sophisticated then) while making the sauce I couldn’t get it to thicken. I didn’t realize at the time she use parmesan cheese to thicken it at the very end..

So I keep adding flour, it slowly turned into a paste. To “fix it” I added garlic..

So awful..

We ended up ordering a pizza..

I’ve had plenty of others. The first time I hosted Thanksgiving was a burn turkey. I knew it was bad to undercook a turkey, so I added 25 degrees and 30 minutes to the recipe.. the bird was more than a little dry..

 

[stickygirl]

I'd have to go with making strawberry jam last year, which I'd done before so like, yea, this is easy. I was washing up within an arm's reach of the new cooker, when the frothing jam decided to make a break for it. So I had jam over the hob, down the sides, down the back, on the floor under the cooker. In the end I had to take the panels off the cooker because it went inside as well and you know how sharp those metal edges are where you're not supposed to put your hand AND then I had to finish the jam.

This years jam was watched like a hawk!

 

[ksafimova]

My biggest fail in the kitchen is very funny and embarrassing to remember. Of course, this was a very important day, because then I had to get to know the parents of my boyfriend. I then decided to show that I am a hostess and of course I wanted to cook something. I decided to make dinner. I chose baked fish, casserole, etc. from the recipe book. Everything was fine with the fish, it was already in the oven, and when I started to bake and beat something in the blender, it started to sparkle, and then completely knocked out the electricity from our entire house. As a result, the whole dinner was not ready and we had to reschedule the meeting to the restaurant. Now I always check the manuals on manymanuals for each device that I buy, because it was scary enough...For example, now I use Philips VIVA and it hasn't let me down yet. So, it's better to spend money on good technique than to be in the same situation as me.

 

[contrifan32]

I like to think that I know my way around the kitchen and love trying to recreate ethnic dishes that I have tried. Most of the time they are enjoyable but one total flop was paella. I have been told how easy it is, all in one dish... what could go wrong.

Overcooked fish, under cooked rice, not enough saffron and way too much paprika. Even the dog was not interested.