What Is With Cuckolding?

[JustADom]

Why do most sub males want to be cuckolded? And why don't most sub women? What's up with that?

 

[welkin]

What makes you think most male subs want to be cucked? And what makes you think female subs don't want it just as much?

 

[Stella_Omega]

The cucks I've met face-to-face seem to be voyeurs, mostly. One man showed me photo albums... He seemed to take huge pleasure in watching his girlfriend enjoy herself.

I've known other men who equally enjoy watching their SO with someone else and who never considered themselves belittled by it. Oddly enough, it's hard to believe them when they say so.

 

[JustADom]

What makes you think most male subs want to be cucked? And what makes you think female subs don't want it just as much?

Well ratio wise... there are definitely more male than female. There may or may not be some explanations for this... maybe something biological...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well ratio wise... there are definitely more male than female. There may or may not be some explanations for this... maybe something biological...

yeah, there is something biological. It's called empathic response.

 

[Kellydude666]

I wouldn't say I want to be "cucked" but would love to see my wife getting the business right in front of me. Seeing her pleasured in front of me would be a major turn on IMO

I don't need to be tied up or belittled and play that role, seems kinda funny to me. But so is role playing in the BDSM life, so who are we to judge?

To each is own

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Well ratio wise... there are definitely more male than female. There may or may not be some explanations for this... maybe something biological...

The thinking is males are extra sensitive to testosterone at distinct times during development. If specific genetic windows are closed at such times masculinization is null, partial, or complete. So you can get AIS males who look and feel female, homosexuals, bi's, cucks, and vanilla males.

Gerald Edelmans TOPOBIOLOGY: Molecular Embryology explains how it all works, and how even genetic twins aren't identical. Edelman won a Nobel Prize for untangling the immune system.

 

[JustADom]

yeah, there is something biological. It's called empathic response.

Well there may be some sort of an answer from an evolutionary biology perspective. For example, since women need "protection" during her child-rearing period, it would be absolutely terrifying for women to think that her man is off with some other woman. That is probably why women in general are more hyper-sensitive to and paranoid of her partner cheating

You would need to be quite a masochist to be a female cuckold. But it seems to me, that many subs would rather, and are anxious to, "please" the people who are important to them. Observing some female cuckolds, they would rather let their partners satisfy their basal urges rather than creating potential tensions, pent-up frustrations and conflicts in her partner and within the relationship. They realize, in their wisdom, that it is better for them to keep their partners in a shorter lease and let them go wild within a limit (of still having his devotion to her), than completely attempting to control him, possibly creating tensions and frustrations in the process.

Doms and subs merely have different strategies to how they relate themselves to others and their partners.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Keep in mind there is a difference between men who are into cuckolding and men who are into wife-sharing or dominants who loan their subs to other men. The latter two are not being submissive or into being humiliated or belittled (at least not generally)

 

[Netzach]

Really guys? Really? We're getting academic about this?

Explain to me what isn't femdom about a woman saying "I'll fuck who I want, when I want, for any reason I feel like doing it, and how you feel about me and how I feel about you isn't going to control that - I am going to determine that and you may or may not get to watch, and it's not up to you."

Generally people talk a great deal about being willing to do anything to please the woman, blah blah blah. Cuckolding is being willing to get out of the way at times, and to me, it's part of a balanced breakfast of real male dis-empowerment. Which is kinda, I don't know....submissive? I guess guys get boners off of how taboo it is, but that's true of anything. I don't do it *because* it gives my guy a boner, I do it and if he gets off, then we're fortuitously compatible.

I bring the same mentality to girl-owning - if she's flagging "anything for you Mistress" that means shutting up if I want to play or mess with another girl.

It's not a fetish for me in itself, it's just a non-negotiable expression of power.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well there may be some sort of an answer from an evolutionary biology perspective. For example, since women need "protection" during her child-rearing period, it would be absolutely terrifying for women to think that her man is off with some other woman. That is probably why women in general are more hyper-sensitive to and paranoid of her partner cheating

You would need to be quite a masochist to be a female cuckold. But it seems to me, that many subs would rather, and are anxious to, "please" the people who are important to them. Observing some female cuckolds, they would rather let their partners satisfy their basal urges rather than creating potential tensions, pent-up frustrations and conflicts in her partner and within the relationship. They realize, in their wisdom, that it is better for them to keep their partners in a shorter lease and let them go wild within a limit (of still having his devotion to her), than completely attempting to control him, possibly creating tensions and frustrations in the process.

Doms and subs merely have different strategies to how they relate themselves to others and their partners.

LOL, Evopsyche is such bad science. It's the tooth fairy dressed up with a mortarboard.

 

[Roamme]

Diddo

What makes you think most male subs want to be cucked? And what makes you think female subs don't want it just as much?

I can't be the only woman that would love to catch my husband cheating on me.

 

[JustADom]

Explain to me what isn't femdom about a woman saying "I'll fuck who I want, when I want, for any reason I feel like doing it, and how you feel about me and how I feel about you isn't going to control that - I am going to determine that and you may or may not get to watch, and it's not up to you."

Well, I guess "I'll do whatever the fuck I want" is "dominant", although there's no actual dominating involved. But it is about breaking away from control.

Generally people talk a great deal about being willing to do anything to please the woman, blah blah blah. Cuckolding is being willing to get out of the way at times, and to me, it's part of a balanced breakfast of real male dis-empowerment. Which is kinda, I don't know....submissive? I guess guys get boners off of how taboo it is, but that's true of anything. I don't do it *because* it gives my guy a boner, I do it and if he gets off, then we're fortuitously compatible.

Well, maybe there are two general types of cuckolds (I'm not an expert on cuckolding... yet, so forgive me):

1. The "I want to be humiliated" cuckold (more common among males)
and
2. The "I want to 'please' my partner" cuckold (more common among females)

I'm sure that there's usually a mixture of both.

But then there's someone like Roamme below mentioned: "I want to find out that my husband is cheating, so that I would/could feel jealous". Perhaps it is a way of dealing with jealousy, by (attempting to) turning into something that is positive and pleasurable.

LOL, Evopsyche is such bad science. It's the tooth fairy dressed up with a mortarboard.

No, evolutionary biology... not psychology. Well, I guess what I said is kind of psychological. Anyway, not all of it is nonsensical. You can sift through good ones from bad.

I can't be the only woman that would love to catch my husband cheating on me.

Could you maybe explain to me why and what it is about it that you would find it arousing?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well, I guess "I'll do whatever the fuck I want" is "dominant", although there's no actual dominating involved. But it is about breaking away from control.

um, bzuh?
What do you think "dominating" is, exactly?

 

[JustADom]

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm merely strictly going by the dictionary definition of "dominate":

Dominate
1. To control, govern, or rule by superior authority or power
2. To exert a supreme, guiding influence on or over
3. To enjoy a commanding, controlling position in

 

[Stella_Omega]

I guess Netz will have to clarify her statement for you, but "breaking away from control" isn't even in the ballpark.

 

[JustADom]

Well if you say that "I am going to fuck whomever I want, and I don't give a shit what you think, and what you think won't have an affect on me", then that's about breaking away from control and imposed restrictions, no? There's no domination of another involved, in a strict sense. Not saying that it's a bad thing.

However, she did add this:

This is dominating:

"I am going to determine that and you may or may not get to watch"

But I think this is more "You don't get to control me!" type of rebellion:

"and it's not up to you."

Which, could potentially be dominating, but you're not actually influencing the other person... so it's not "dominating" in a strict sense, I don't think.

 

[CutieMouse]

That seems to be a somewhat narrow concept of domination...

 

[Stella_Omega]

And knowing what I do of Netzach, it makes me laugh.

Rebellion? Thing is-- Some people, actually, never have to "break away from control." Because they were simply in control in the first place.

 

[KoPilot]

So by your definition, there is domination going on for only the split second that the cane comes into contact with skin, or the moments that the dominant is handling the cuffs as they put them on the sub. As soon as the order is given and the mouth is closed, the D/s ceases to exist. Oookay...

 

[Netzach]

And here we encounter ManDom and FemDom are not the same.

Guess what, dude. You didn't grow up with the Girl Memo. The Girl Memo that tells you your sexuality exists for everyone BUT you, that your pussy is a commodity, that you literally "give yourself to" a guy when you have sex with him.

Trust me, "I am going out tonight, don't wait up" is very dominant, in MY context.

This is why M/f makes so little sense to me, except in extreme relationships - the men who exercise the power to wet their dick however they want and she can live with it, are so few and far between. It amazes me, considering what I know of what men do UNofficially versus officially. In this case, it's ludicrous for a guy to have the right to do everything BUT the cute neighbor.

How is this not influencing the other person, who we're guessing in this case got the Boy Memo? It's thrilling as fuck to him, not because of some mystery or brain chemistry X factor - but because it is a taboo being busted. Because it upsets the expectations in a relationship that he is unhappy with as well for the same reasons.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm still trying to figure out how an honest "I will be seeing/fucking other women. Accept or move on." exhibits a loss of control...

 

[Netzach]

The other thing is this, I'm really more interested in SM anyway than nitpicky minutiae of D/s. I could really care less whether I'm controlling the universe than whether I'm actually having an erotic, charged, impact on the other person who is presumably, somewhat the emotional masochist in this case. It hurts? And yet you'll put up with it? Cause I'm that great? Fuck, that makes me hot, baby. Still, don't wait up. Kiss kiss.

So whatever, ok I'm expressing myself as a notsubmissive female Sadist.

Who additionally, derives great pleasure from being the complete final word on her snatch and its whereabouts, not beholden to anyone else's feeewings.

 

[BrightlyGo]

Why do most sub males want to be cuckolded? And why don't most sub women? What's up with that?

i don't think 'most' msubs do want that. Cuckolding is a very specific kink, and i'm not so sure it has much to do with what any, let alone 'most,' msubs or Dommes actually want.

In a D/s relationship, limits are set and tested. Who has sex with whom can be one of those limits. A D/s relationship can be monogamous or polyamorous (and a poly relationship can have no D/s elements, for that matter). A Dominant might decide that it's OK to sleep around, or might decide not to. A submissive might be required to remain faithful, or might be 'passed around' or loaned out to other Dominants. Any of those might be a 'hard limit,' that'd end the relationship if it were breached, or might be things that both partners enjoy exploring.

None of that's the actual cuckolding kink.

With cuckolding, you have an msub, a domme (female switch), and third party, a second man, who has, at least, a non-submissive or vanilla sexual relationship with the domme or even outright dominates her. That's a denial of female dominance - the point of it isn't to humiliate the sub (though that's gonna happen, obviously), but to put the domme in her place (where traditional society or 'rape culture' says she should be: subordinate to a 'real man'). Oh, and if that's not enough, there are variations on the kink with a clear streak of racism thrown in.

There's no corresponding thing for M/f, of course, because M/f doesn't challenge traditional gender roles, just exaggerates aspects of them.

 

[JustADom]

Well look, I'm not saying that it's bad, nor am I saying that "You're not being dom enough!" or anything like that, because quite frankly... I don't care. Do as you like. I only said it because I was kind of concerned... which I will not mention now, because it might cause a misunderstanding... Besides, is being "dominant" in the BDSM context even a good thing? In BDSM being dominant usually means being a control-freak... not exactly a good trait to have.

I'm still trying to figure out how an honest "I will be seeing/fucking other women. Accept or move on." exhibits a loss of control...

No, what I mean is that it's freedom FROM control. I meant it as in freeing yourself from restrictions.

i don't think 'most' msubs do want that. Cuckolding is a very specific kink, and i'm not so sure it has much to do with what any, let alone 'most,' msubs or Dommes actually want.

You are right, I think I am talking of subcategories of specific doms and subs.

I'm just interested in understanding a little more about cuckolding! What's up with that!?!?