i was just wondering what everyone thought the normal ammount of time a guy should last before shooting. with my girlfriend we normally mess around with foreplay for probably 15-30 minutes, i'm not really sure since we've never timed it, and then the actually sex lasts from 10-20 minutes. what i really want to know is how am i doing? it would be nice to get opinions from guys and girls.
what is normal
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JeanetteLv2
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I'm with Aston... it should always be more about the quality than the quantity no? Of course there's nothing wrong either with a lot of quality lovemaking either. 
*sigh* single too long... nevermind me
Anyway... sounds like you're doing fine jaunio, provided you both are happy with it.
*sigh* single too long... nevermind me
Anyway... sounds like you're doing fine jaunio, provided you both are happy with it.
Well, the truth is that guys never tell the truth about this, so it is good that you asked because you will have the femenine point of view... I think you are doing fine and if she is happy, why are you worried aboit it?
What is a fact is that it is a cultural thing, in a macho society, as mine (mexican), guys last a lot less... it was surprising tome when I first had sex with an American... and I have proved this a number of times...
What is a fact is that it is a cultural thing, in a macho society, as mine (mexican), guys last a lot less... it was surprising tome when I first had sex with an American... and I have proved this a number of times...
Lust Engine
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Annvalery said:
Waitaminute here! Aren't we perpetuating another stereotype here???
While I don't dispute YOUR accounts & experience, don't paint all Mexican guys as folks who can't last. It's factual that YOUR guy was. This is the same kind of broad generalization that perpetuates that all black guys are hung, Indian folks smell, Europeans don't bathe, and countless other stereotypes.
What if the guy was a Mexican- American or of mixed descent? Then what? Clinging to these fallacies only perpetuates more ignorance we can do without.
PinkOrchid
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billwindows
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Sterotyopes????
Okay LE, i would lik eyou to explain your stereotypes, cause this is the first time I've heard them other than black guys are hung. What do you mean European guys don't bathe? Wouldn't they stink to high heaven if they never took a bathe, which i guess makes them like Indian guys who smell. So I would like a clearer explaination
Okay LE, i would lik eyou to explain your stereotypes, cause this is the first time I've heard them other than black guys are hung. What do you mean European guys don't bathe? Wouldn't they stink to high heaven if they never took a bathe, which i guess makes them like Indian guys who smell. So I would like a clearer explaination
ok the funny thing is I'm not one hundred percent positive that she is enjoying herself. waita second that's not funny at all. you see she's a hell of alot more experienced then I am. she's the second girl that i have been with and the first girl that's gotten me off, and i'm the eighth guy that she's been with. but she's never had an orgasm, she's never even given herself one. so i've basically made it my goal in life to give her an orgasm. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm not lasting long enough to bring her to orgasm no matter how hard i try. i think she could actually be scared to get off, she'll be what i think is close to an orgasm during foreplay and then she'll just make me stop and cool off for a sec or two and then we go at it again. has this happenedto anyone else?
glock800
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maybe shes not as expierienced as you think she is.ive never researched this but ive heard a fair number of females say they feel like they are going to pee before orgasm and make there partner stop until the feelin subsides.sounds like that could be the answer but i think you will get much better results if you talk to her about it.like many people here will tell you communication is everything.
Lust Engine
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Re: Sterotyopes????
How much clearer do you need? Whether they're true stereotypes or not, they do no good to anyone. I used those as examples of categorizing one ethnic group. Associating a certain behavior to a group of people & generalizing them is stereotyping an entire community... whether it be ficticious or even based on some incidents. There will always be folks who don't fit into those broad sweeping statements therefore rendering any comments like Annlavery's baseless.
billwindows said:
How much clearer do you need? Whether they're true stereotypes or not, they do no good to anyone. I used those as examples of categorizing one ethnic group. Associating a certain behavior to a group of people & generalizing them is stereotyping an entire community... whether it be ficticious or even based on some incidents. There will always be folks who don't fit into those broad sweeping statements therefore rendering any comments like Annlavery's baseless.
Hecate
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There is only one answer to that: ask her! If you think she is not enjoying herself, then I wonder what makes you think that... so either you have the impression she is not as enthusiastic about having at it as you are, doesn't want sex as often, etc. Just because a woman doesn't give a porn movie moaning and gushing performance doesn't mean anything. You'd be surprised to hear how many of us are "stealth orgasmers", you'd never know if we didn't deliberately let you guys know we are having a good time.
A lot of women will not get off by penetration (full stop). There is the additional stimulation of the clitoris needed to make orgasms happen. That said, no matter how long you can last as in moving go in and out, it will not do the trick for her. So you see, nothing to be worried about performance-wise... so maybe she is of that inclination and thus (supportive of my theory) she gets close during foreplay, where most likely you touch, finger, fondle and stroke her pussy, including the clitoris.
As for her not having ever had an orgasm - I am sorry to say but if she can't get her off herself chances for you to do it are slim, as she will not know what you should be doing to guide you. Stop fretting too much about it then, as it will put even more pressure on you and her and might ruin something that so far was perfectly acceptable.
A more outrageous but not impossible thought: what if during foreplay she DOES orgasm, but in the stealth-mode mentioned above, and never realizes it? OK, I kow, sounds adventurous, but I e.g. can't bear being touched right after orgasming, so the "cooling off " period?
Last words to sooth your pain - for many women (at least as we get older and more in tune with ourselves) we aren't really bothered all that much about orgasms - many women have a problem orgasming with a partner and just hide it for the major part - we enjoy the act as much as the result, and seeing our partners get off and be happy is almost as good as our own release.
So maybe you are worrying about something that isn't really all that bad - and if you can get her to open up a bit and explore herself, that definitely wouldn't be bad - nobody can make her cum if she doesn't know her triggers, and who would be better suitable to find them than herself? Maybe you can - instead of having sex have a session of mutual masturbation - let her show you what she likes when playing with herself and encourage her to keep going till "completion"
If indeed she should be inhibited by the "pee" feeling, why not do t it in the shower - or share a bath? so IF it would go "wrong", no problem ...
cactiphile
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Theres another factor in non orgasming women.
You wanting her to orgasm might be putting her under
pressure to perform. This sort of stress puts the dampers on
anything. You might be better just relaxing forgetting about
trying to make her orgasm and just showing your enjoying your self, enjoying her body etc, telling her how it feels to you.
It also can take a long time to learn each others triggers,
it took about 2 years before I could 'help' my wife orgasm regually. Commuication is the key to this. Learn which positions does it for her.
On cliteral stimulation. I find for best stimulation on her we adopt a position where one of my legs is over on of hers. And the motion is more a grinding as much as a thrusting.
On sterotypes. I suspect the european and indian smelly thing was to do with eating garlic. I love garlic, and sometimes how ever hard u wash and mouthwash, you still stink to high heaven the next day.
But the point was that all sterotypes are stupid...
or is that sterotyping sterotypes?
Are a small minority of sterotypes actually 100% true.
I mean I was going to say all sterotypes are stupid, just like politicians!
And I doubt many would not agree with that, except perhaps the politicians, but then if they are stupid they wouldnt realise it, would they.
Cactiphile wanders off into double, triple and quadruple bluff land....
You wanting her to orgasm might be putting her under
pressure to perform. This sort of stress puts the dampers on
anything. You might be better just relaxing forgetting about
trying to make her orgasm and just showing your enjoying your self, enjoying her body etc, telling her how it feels to you.
It also can take a long time to learn each others triggers,
it took about 2 years before I could 'help' my wife orgasm regually. Commuication is the key to this. Learn which positions does it for her.
On cliteral stimulation. I find for best stimulation on her we adopt a position where one of my legs is over on of hers. And the motion is more a grinding as much as a thrusting.
On sterotypes. I suspect the european and indian smelly thing was to do with eating garlic. I love garlic, and sometimes how ever hard u wash and mouthwash, you still stink to high heaven the next day.
But the point was that all sterotypes are stupid...
or is that sterotyping sterotypes?
Are a small minority of sterotypes actually 100% true.
I mean I was going to say all sterotypes are stupid, just like politicians!
And I doubt many would not agree with that, except perhaps the politicians, but then if they are stupid they wouldnt realise it, would they.
Cactiphile wanders off into double, triple and quadruple bluff land....
I'm sorry!!!
I didn't mean it that way, it sounds awful!!!!
It has just been my experience, and it is a cultural thing,in macho cultures men sometimes just use women... and women that enjoy sex are considered sluts!!! It is not a racist thing i am latin and Ilove being one, but I have had latin and other culture lovers and I can tell the difference....
Please, don't take me wrong!!!
I didn't mean it that way, it sounds awful!!!!
It has just been my experience, and it is a cultural thing,in macho cultures men sometimes just use women... and women that enjoy sex are considered sluts!!! It is not a racist thing i am latin and Ilove being one, but I have had latin and other culture lovers and I can tell the difference....
Please, don't take me wrong!!!
ChemE_student
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I certainly agree with everyone who says that you should ask for her opinion. It is also possible that she just isn't yet comfortable enough with sex to orgasm. Most importantly, though, I think that she's probably gotten self-conscious about it over the years and spends to much time thinking about orgasm to actually acheive it.
I suppose that I may be unusual, but I have to be a little bit distracted from what's actually happening to my body to have an incredible orgasm. Direct stimulation, penetration, oral...all of those things only work for me if I'm in a situation where I have to keep looking over my shoulder (ie. the kitchen at my Mom's house, up against the barbed wire fence in a park at night, you get the picture). In more traditional settings, I get off on role play and talking dirty, on having my partner play sexy games with my mind rather than my body. Feeling teasing licks and touches while my clit is grinding against a sexy man who is whispering in my ear all the naughty things he's going to do to me will work every time.
Perhaps what I'm saying is that you might try more mental and emotional stimulation, rather than more physical stimulation. Relaxing, communicating, branching out...these things might have a positive effect. It is important to note, though, that MANY women have a great time with sex even without an orgasm. I can feel very sexy and very satisfied without it. You should definately just ask her before you decide to change anything.
PS. This is my first post to any forum of any kind ever, so don't be mean if you think I'm wrong or something, 'cause then I might be too scared to try again.
I suppose that I may be unusual, but I have to be a little bit distracted from what's actually happening to my body to have an incredible orgasm. Direct stimulation, penetration, oral...all of those things only work for me if I'm in a situation where I have to keep looking over my shoulder (ie. the kitchen at my Mom's house, up against the barbed wire fence in a park at night, you get the picture). In more traditional settings, I get off on role play and talking dirty, on having my partner play sexy games with my mind rather than my body. Feeling teasing licks and touches while my clit is grinding against a sexy man who is whispering in my ear all the naughty things he's going to do to me will work every time.
Perhaps what I'm saying is that you might try more mental and emotional stimulation, rather than more physical stimulation. Relaxing, communicating, branching out...these things might have a positive effect. It is important to note, though, that MANY women have a great time with sex even without an orgasm. I can feel very sexy and very satisfied without it. You should definately just ask her before you decide to change anything.
PS. This is my first post to any forum of any kind ever, so don't be mean if you think I'm wrong or something, 'cause then I might be too scared to try again.
G
Guest
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Everyone is different. You shouldn't judge yourself on the performance of others. Enjoy sex. Love/care for/enjoy your partner. That should be all that matters.
LadyGwenhevare
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Read the thread here on the G spot - try this and let me know
Try out that and watch her cum.
God I love the gspot and my hubbies thumb!!!!! I love the rest of him too - but oh geez his thumb
Try out that and watch her cum.
God I love the gspot and my hubbies thumb!!!!! I love the rest of him too - but oh geez his thumb
